A quick read, but very insightful, about how our tendency to justify what we have done has serious consequences. ( )

I enjoyed the 3rd edition until the last chapter. I am in no way defending Trump, but I think the authors lost their persuasive arguments by using him as an example of how people can live with dissonance. Is he a good example? He is an excellent example. Will their arguments persuade anyone in the pro Trump camp that they were wrong? No. They will just shoot down the valuable information that is shared before the last chapter. Oh well. ( )

This is a book worthy of being read by everybody and accessible enough to be read by anyone. ( )

http://pro-libertate.net/20090116/49-read-mistakes-were-made-not-me ( )

A brilliant analysis of why people persist in mistaken notions, fallacious thinking, self-destructive behaviour, and so on. The repercussions are quite serious, including persisting in criminal convictions even when contrary and incontrovertible evidence comes to light, creating spurious memories of childhood traumas at the hands of teachers and family members, unnecessary and ill-advised wars, and so on. The authors describe how difficult it is for the average person to come to terms with cognitive dissonance, by accepting that one has been mistaken; the temptation is to justify past actions by doing more of the same, blaming and shaming the victim, rationalising by scapegoating, creating false histories, and so on. ( )

Tavris and Aronson explore the cognitive biases that lead people to justify their own beliefs, even in the face of contrary evidence. They explore some of the ways this bias towards self justification negatively affects society and individuals. Tavris and Aronson did a good job with this material; the overview sections are a valuable read. About half of the book is case studies; the value of those chapters will depend on the interest you have in the domains they study.

The human brain excels at reducing cognitive dissonance. We ignore contrary evidence without even knowing it is there. Executives and criminals justify actions that are obviously wrong to the outside observer. You ignore your own judgmental behavior while vilifying the behavior of others.

Some self-justification makes evolutionary sense. If there is not sufficient contrary evidence, evaluating an idea wastes time and energy. Without some self-justification you would always second guess your decisions. Confidence builds on our self-justification skills.

Self-justification also makes neurological sense. Memory is not a recording of the past. We reconstruct the past based on a relatively sparse set of true data points. Memory is the narrative we create that unifies those facts with our self image and our model of the world.

Taken too far, self-justification leads to an inaccurate model of the world around you. Your bar for contrary evidence will rise too high. You will jump on small problems with contradictory material and ignore faults in supporting material. Eventually, self-justifying beliefs will filter your perceptions. Your mind will literally not consciously register that which contradicts your beliefs and will overemphasize that which supports your beliefs. (For examples, see the Internet.)

Tavris and Aronson explore the dangers of self-justification through four case studies. They show how self-justification can lead to bad, and sometimes tragic, results in clinical psychology, the legal system, relationships, and cultural interactions. In all of the case studies, self-justification becomes dangerous when a closed system allows positive feedback loops of self-justification. For example, admitting mistakes can kill a medical career, but not being able to admit mistakes leads to the self-justifying belief that mistakes are never made. When this causes a doctor to believe in a technique that does not really work, the result can be the death of a patient.

The pitfalls of self-justifiation can be avoided. The key tools are independent review, being able to admit you were wrong without shame, seeing mistakes as learning opportunities, learning how to constructively reduce dissonance, and learning how to live with dissonance when it cannot be resolved. Easier said than done, especially at an individual level. But there are huge benefits to be earned from avoiding self-justification, especially systemic institutional self-justification. ( )

A thorough explanation of the psychology behind self-justification, how it serves to ease cognitive dissonance and the ways it can lead to self-destructive beliefs and behaviors. The book addresses issues such as conflict escalation, marriage problems, false memories, wrongful convictions, school cheating scandals, the list goes on, and includes many (maybe too many) clinical studies that back up its assertions. The version I read was updated for 2020 (it was first published in 2007) but must have gone to press before covid. I'd read it again if it were revised to address the phenomenon of deniers and anti-vaxxers. ( )

Doesn't the news just seem like one neverending finger-pointing game? Enter this book. This was a fascinating read and well worth the time. There were chapters on relationships, leadership, etc.* Particularly interesting was the information regarding the malleability of memory. I didn't like seeing myself in the mirror, but it's better than not.

There should be a sequel on how to forgive those who admit to mistakes... because we live in a culture where "you can't judge me, I'm only human" but everyone else should be 100% perfect. ( )

I enjoyed this, although obviously I never do any of this self-justification stuff. ( )

This book turned out to be really interesting. In some ways it felt like it was rehashing the same points with different stories, but they were good points. Most importantly, I think it did a decent job of presenting situations that we've all run into, giving the reader plenty of food for thought. ( )

I know a few people for whom this would be an excellent read. Unfortunately, they probably wouldn't pick it up. Makes me wonder about my own memory... ( )

Great book, makes a great compromise between not needlessly punishing yourself and actively seeking to learn and grow from mistakes. Includes some great insights about American culture and how conflict propagates between different groups. ( )

I enjoy this kind of book on occassion and I did find it interesting to delve into how people can deceive themselves to maintain their view of themselves as 'good people'. There were some bits which didn't 'ring' for me (i.e. where it felt to me as though the author was proclaiming their own agenda - but then agaiin it's not exactly uncommon for people to do this) but overall I'm pleased that I listened to this particular book. ( )

Something worse than lying--cognitive dissonance, believing some falsehood as the truth because varying beliefs on opposite ends of the spectrum have equal footing in the mind. ( )

This book has given me a black eye! Every few pages I was mumbling; Yep, I do that...
In short, if you want to become a better person than you were last year, or you just want to understand some of the sources of human irritation, get this book. It is also very well written. ( )

Just into the Introduction and Chapter 1 and there are already ridiculous amounts of USA politics as examples. Hellooooooooo - the rest of the world exists too you know!!

I got about halfway and had to put the book down. Too much political crap and liberal diatribe with not enough substance. My old psychology text book had a better chapter on the same topic.

Self-justification is the commonest response to cognitive dissonance. It’s the reason we typically end up deceiving ourselves and sometimes others, all the while believing that we are in the right. Tavris and Aronson explode our practice of self-justification with comprehensive appeal to experimental psychology, reams of scientific articles, statistics, and therapeutic experience that, first, lays out the conditions that give rise to cognitive dissonance and then the standard kinds of response that are found. They explore these in the realms of history, science, therapy, criminal justice, and personal relationships. The analysis is astounding. You will be amazed at the discrepancy between things we say, do, and believe, and what the science actually shows.

Tavris and Aronson affect a breezy, colloquial style in their writing. They are quite willing to call out hypocrisy and foolishness. But they substantiate their judgements with substantial appeal to the scientific literature. (There are forty pages of endnotes.) The result is a book that is highly readable but also remarkably grounded in supporting scientific research.

So pervasive is the practice of self-justification in the face of cognitive dissonance that the reader can easily despair. How can we possibly overcome this pervasive distortion of reality? And indeed, instances of people in authority admitting to making mistakes are so rare that only a tiny portion of the book canvases them. Nonetheless, the authors do provide some general guidance as to how we might work against our potential for self-justification at least in our own lives. Like me, you might wish for more. However, the larger task of opening readers’ eyes to what is going on around them is most assuredly accomplished.

Certainly recommended. ( )

Woof. Good read, difficult as expected. Her ideas around self justification and narrative preservation clicked with my intuitions about my own behavior during more than a few uncomfortable times in my past. This feels like a mental framework that will be useful in the future.

There's a lot to recommend in here, but... specifically, this is one I wish software engineers would required to read before engaging in any sort of tooling or language advocacy. ( )

This is a solidly researched book and has so many examples of the concepts being presented that it is hard to put down. If you have ever wondered why people can do things and believe things that sometimes go against even the clearest evidence, then read this book. We all confront cognitive dissonance in our lives (e.g., doing something I know violates my own moral code and then having trouble seeing seeing how I could have done such a bad thing when I believe I am a good person), and by default what most of us do about it is to self-justify our own actions. Fascinating, and you are almost guaranteed to see yourself in this book somewhere, if you can be honest with yourself. ( )

This book explores self justification in the face of personal error from a social psychology perspective. Tavris explores how we persist in errors because we act to remove our own cognitive dissonance through our confirmation bias, our subjective remembering (re-narrating of events to reinforce our personal beliefs about our self), our personal biases, etc. She explores how self justification held up beliefs in the justice of the Iraq war (in the face of no WMDs), unjust police interrogation, provides justification of torture, sabotage personal relationships and cause us to persist in prejudice and faulty beliefs. She urges a self awareness and humility to admit where we go astray while acknowledging our natural tendency towards reinforcing our innate goodness and equilibrium remains intact. ( )

Do you suspect agents of the law at any level don't operate fairly? What about historians, psychiatrists, medical clinicians, scientists, the clergy? Is what they espouse and write fact and trustworthy? And how about your own memory? Crystal clear? Better read this book.

In plain language you can find out what you and everyone else really does, why, and how you might change how you think and act. The book may open your eyes to the people around you at all levels -- why and how things turn out the way they do. When mistakes are made, why is everyone so reluctant to correct them? Some of these mistakes affect the lives of others or large segments of the population, perhaps companies, anything you can think of. Doesn't affect you? Read this book.

The way people operate every day affects us all. Don't believe it? Read this book. If you've ever been blamed for something you didn't do, treated unfairly in any respect, or puzzled over how things could go so wrong, this book may help you understand how truly scary the behavior of perfectly "normal" people can be. Yes, normal. We're not talking about deviants or mental illness here. Normal people with normal jobs. The information within these pages may help you one day. ( )

I quite enjoyed this book and found myself going back to think of several of the concepts in the week since I finished. I found it most interesting when the focus moved away from politics (I may just be tired of that) and into the realms of police work and relationships. I still think the book is repetitive and could likely have been shorter, but it's a quick read even at its current length. ( )

mistakes were made but by who. and why cant we fess up. whether politically motivated or just a disagreement with our spouse we struggle to see the other side and to realize when we are in the wrong ( )

mistakes were made but by who. and why cant we fess up. whether politically motivated or just a disagreement with our spouse we struggle to see the other side and to realize when we are in the wrong ( )

Fascinating and eye-opening analysis of cognitive dissonance and the steps we take to reduce the dissonance. Politicians are the easy targets, and exploited here as such, but Tavris & Aronson also delve into personal stories. Several of them held up a mirror to my own self-justifications and made me flinch. Riveting and insightful. Recommended. ( )