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ingly, MR. CARDWELL gave reply which has been properly described PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
as unsatisfactory. Questioned again later in the week, he said that
the DUKE OF CAMBRIDGE considered that the order in the Queen's MONDAY, June 27. This day the nation lost a veteran and valuable Regulations on the subject of marches had been violated, and H.R.H. servant. The EARL OF CLARENDON, the Foreign Secretary, expired, had caused his disapprobation to be signified to the officers who were after a very brief illness. He had been in his place in the House of in command. We shall probably not hear of another case of the kind, Lords on the previous Thursday. LORD CLARENDON, who united the but it seems hard that soldiers should be put to death in order character of a warm-hearted man and an accomplished diplomatist, to induce officers to read and understand documents prescribing duty. deserved the love of
As matter of hishis friends and the
tory, Mr. Punch regratitude of his coun
cords that the excatry. LORD GRAN
vations for the founVILLE, as his col
dations of the New league, the DUKE OF
Law Courts are to RICHMOND, as the
at an leader of Opposition,
early period. By the and LORD DERBY,
way, there ought to as his predecessor in
be a "find” of cuoffice, to-night bore
riosities, coins, and the warmest tribute
so forth. People in to his memory; and
charge are hereby reLORD COWLEY, vainly
quired to keep a good essaying words, tes
look-out. Mr. Punch tified more eloquent
dropped a sixpence, homage by emotion.
with a hole in it, someLORD CLARENDON
where thereabouts, in was a patriot of the
1849. The finder may old Whig" type,
bring it to the office, and an honour to a
and shall receive for party whose mem
it two copies of the bers, few in number,
current number, and not “popular,"
We then took the are, for the most part,
Education Bill, and high-minded English
battled thereon until gentlemen. LORD GRANVILLE has taken
one in the morning,
Three divisions, and the duties of the
large majorities for Foreign Office, which he held in 1851—2,
Government. and LORD KIMBER
Tuesday. The Lords LEY, Privy Seal, will
worked hard at the probably be the new
Land Bill. LORD Colonial Secretary.
one of the clauses a Feeling would have
“humbug,” and proinduced their Lord
tested against nobleships to suspend busi
men being “draness for the time, but
gooned into silence.” they did better, and
Nevertheless, the Bill honoured their de
went through Comparted friend as a
mittee, the EARL OF true man would wish
LEITRIM finishing to be honoured-they
the debate with a attended to duty.
declaration of his The Irish Land Bill
total and entire diswas again discussed
satisfaction with the in Committee. More
proceedings, and of alterations were car
his opinion that the ried, whereon we shall
Bill had been dichear the PREMIER at
tated by Extreme a later date. Black
Rancour against the wood says he will
landlords. "Laugh“ bluster.” As that
ter," add the rewill be his very first
porters. performance in that line, we shall certainly attend
Some clever person has done the Admiralty out to hear how he acquits himself of a task so utterly
of £2,233 9s. He wrote to say that he would foreign to his nature, that only on such authority
accept that sum in commutation of his pension. can we believe he will make the endeavour. Some
With exquisite courtesy and promptitude the Adtimes things are called by wrong names. The ex.
miralty acceded to his terms, and sent him the hibition of legitimate anger is not bluster, and
money, He had no pension to sell. The authoanger is one of the sinews of the soul, and he
rities have ordered an investigation. The bold that hath it not,” continues good old MR. FULLER,
and lucky gentleman is said to have gone to " hath a maimed mind” which quotation, besides
America, but there is no doubt that he will send being interesting, is instructive as showing that
back the money, by return of post, if it be exthe soul and the mind are one, according to old
plained to him that he has no right to keep it. MR. FULLER.
To doubt this would be to distrust human nature, MR. J. B. SMITH gave notice that he meant to
which is a very wrong thing to do. try and insert in the Education Bill a provision
More Education de bate, and then a well-received, that, after the 1st of July, 1877, no person shall
but to-be-postponed scheme by LORD SANDON, for vote at an election unless he can write his name
establishing Parochial Councils for the regulation and address, in presence of a witness. Members
of Divine Worship. MR. GLADSTONE spoke "laughed.”. Can they tell us why ?
favourably of the idea, but thought that it was To question as to the late fatal result of certain
enough to entertain the general principle. When Marches on which soldiers were set walking,
we come to details, we hope that power will be heavily laden, while the sun shone down scorch
(ANCIENT AND MODERN SPECIMEN.) given to the Councils to "invite” sundry clergy
men to preach better sermons; and if the very proper answer be made is especially prized by the native Indians; and LORD WESTBURY
and Correction of the Nobility,” and Punch hopes that they will attend
sion (unasked) that School and M.P. are having a tremendous simulWednesday. The Commons sat in Committee on a most valuable and the latter play is stuck as full of smart things as a tipsy cake is of
taneous run. And, “as we have introduced the subject,” we add that important Bill, one for regulating the doings of Life Assurance Companies. In the course of the debate, it was declared that the word almonds-and it is strictly within the Essence (and if it weren't, do Actuary cannot be defined. Who says cannot to Mr. Punch? you think we should care ?) to say that there is the spirit of true The name is derived from the Latin
actuarius, which simply means comedy in Mrs. Bancroft's reason for wishing to see her lover in Parqui acta describit veloci stylo, eaque descripla deinde recitat. Put that liament. “I should so like to hear you Called to Order." into the Bill, and leave the Judges to interpret it. If you want to know where Mr. Punch found the description, he will tell you, for he scorns small secresy,
In DR. ADAM LITTLETON'S “Latine Dic- POACHED EGGS AND THEIR POACHERS. tionary” (1703), which he bought in Tottenham Court Road for two and sixpence, and a little boy carried home for twopence—also the THE Agricultural Journal, under the heading of " An Egg Poacher,". child had a cup of tea and some bread-and-butter. Is there anything narrates an exploit of a gamekeeper who, in the neighbourhood of else that the Many-Headed would like to know? “'Tis fit the Many- Camborne, Cornwall, after several ineffectual attempts to catch a Headed know all," as MR. TENNYSON says, with another word which harrier hawk, too cunning ever to come within shot, by means of a gin Mr. Punch omits, he being of excessive politeness.
baited first with a rabbit, then with a bird, and next with a weasel, MR. RYLANDS (Liberal), formerly Mayor of, and now Member for finally succeeded in trapping it with the bait of an adder, which he had Warrington, moved the Second Reading of a Bill for closing Public killed, coiled up as though it were living. Aha! and so the eggHouses on Sunday. MR. BIRLEY (Conservative Member for Man- poacher was caught at last, thinks MR. BENJAMIN BOWBELL. Not chester) seconded. MR. ALDERMAN LAWRENCE opposed, until the exactly so, BENJAMIN; the egg-poacher was the mere vermin used for bour of adjournment. This Bill shall not pass. Mr. Punch hates, a bait, and not the reputed vermin, but really in a great measure useful detests, execrates, and abominates drunkenness, and there you have creature which it allured, and whereby it would have been killed and his faith in monosyllable, dissyllable, trisyllable, and quatersyllable, eaten if alive. It is a pity that gamekeepers are generally actuated by and he would punish an offence committed in liquor (or against liquor, a zeal which is not at all according to knowledge, but is, on the conye adulterating fiends) with a double punishment. But nobody, with trary, according to ignorance, the grossest, of natural history. Beneath Mr. Punch's leave, shall prevent thirsty men, women, and children, its influence they shoot down, under the name of a hawk, every one of from getting a drink of beer in the course of a hot Sunday walk. the Falconide without mercy and without discrimination. Harriers
and buzzards live chiefly on mice and reptiles, and the same may be
said of the kestrel, which many, a clown, no better than a cockney,
confounds with the sparrowhawk. They are very beautiful birds, and MR. BIRLEY, MR. BIRLEY,
not only ornamental but useful, especially the harrier hawk that You must get up precious early
destroys such egg-poachers as adders. When a gamekeeper shoots
a bird like this he makes much the same mistake as that of shooting Ere Punch owns your plan a better.
at the pigeon and killing the crow, or rather shooting at the crow and No, Gentlemen. You mean so exceeding well, and there is so much to killing the pigeon. Even sparrowhawks, and other really destructive be said about British drunkenness, and what it produces, that it is not birds of prey, should be kept under, but not exterminated. If they pleasant to fight you for the key of the public-house; but fight we are of no good in a state of nature, of what are they in the British must, if you want to lock out decent folks because others abuse the Museum ? gifts of Nature. Punch bears you no malice, but get your hands up, for Peony readings have become popular institutions in the rural disthis Bill SHALL not pass.
tricts. Could not some of the resident gentlefolks, by way of a change Thursday. The Lords considered a Bill for amending the mode in the poem of the Chameleon, for example, or the fable of the Hare and
from reciting, for the instruction and entertainment of rustic audiences which Solicitors are paid for conveyancing business. This reform, the Tortoise, occasionally enlighten their minds by a familiar account of come when it may, will be due to Mr. Punch, who, some years ago, the various' birds and other animals, with whose sight they are familiar, exposed the vices of the existing system (which is hard upon the high- but about whose habits and manners the majority of them know nothing, minded and artistic conveyancer) in so masterly a way by an illustra- and entertain a variety of absurd persuasions ! The idea of teaching tion of its working in the case of a Work-Table, that the Profession would have sent him a Testimonial
, but that (he supposes) they thought your gamekeeper anything on the subject of eggs ought to be as absurd be might not like it. He respects their scruples, but they may send it and at any rate gamekeepers might be expected to know all about now-he promises not to be offended, if the article be handsome poached eggs; but few of them probably are aware that adders poach enough. "A Medical Act Amendment Bill also made progress. It them, and that in killing a harrier hawk they are destroying their own gives power to the Medical Council to declare a Quack" infamous"
ally against egg-poachers. and "disgraceful,” which is well; but it should include a clause for flogging him at a cart's tail if he dares to bring an action against a newspaper for publishing the fact that he has been branded on his
What Says Prim ? dirty forehead. There are scores of Quacks whom the journals would scarify next week, but for the state of the law, which gives the most Alfonso. As MR. Dickens wrote, “If ever there was an Alfonso
THE Ex-QUEEN OF SPAIN suggests to the Spaniards a King called despicable creature the power to put the most respectable newspaper who carried in his face plain Bill”. (dynastically speaking) this is the to a heavy expense. Let it be enacted that no action shall lie for publication of the Council's declaration, or for any comments there young gentleman. upon. Will the LORD SALISBURY please see to this when the report
SUGGESTION FOR SPAIN. comes up? Education again, till nearly two in the morning.
SPAIN wants a King, lets MARSHAL PRIM Friday. LORD WESTBURY called the attention of the Lords to the
Rule her, and might as well crown him. choked-up state of the Judicial Committee, the Grand Court of Final Appeal for the Empire. The other day there were 370 appeals waiting ILLUSTRATION FOR A COPY-B00K.-Procrastination picking Time's to be heard, and 150 new ones are coming from Bengal. This Court | pocket.
BOBBY NOT ON HIS BEAT.
A CASE OF GREEK CONSCIENCE. A BRIGAND lately executed in Greece wrote a letter of dying wishes to his brother. From a translation of this document, originally published in the Phos, the writer appears to have been brought to some sense of his situation. As thus :
“ BROTHER NICOLAKI, I salute you. My brother, I enjoin you to give 50 drachmas to the church of St. Paraskeyi, in the village of Limogarthi; also to St. John of Palcochori 30 drachmas; give a gallon of oil to the church of Neochori, and a gallon of oil to St. Nicholas of Divri. Give a gallon of oil to the Virgin of Xeriotissa, and when you return to our native place give to the poor all you choose for the salvation of my soul.”
These injunctions are not followed by reference to any fand out of which the expense of executing them was to be defrayed, except the following:
“ Do what you like with the cows that I have at Divri."
It may be surmised that this legacy was hardly considerable enough to meet the charges of fulfilling the pious intentions above specified, and sundry others whereof the detail follows :
"Make a garland, write my name upon it, and with it crown the head of St. Nicholas in our church. Do not quarrel on account of the disputed cattle with Yannaka Founta, or else his curse will follow me, but take for settlement what he chooses to give you."
Besides practising moderation and forbearance by posthumous proxy, he proposes likewise to perform expiation :
“When I was a lad I robbed from the church the holy books of FATHER VETA, and he cursed me; therefore, you must find a priest, and bring him to
my grave to bless it, otherwise I am afraid that my body will not be changed.' $
This clerk of St. Nicholas-a saint to whom, by the way, it may have
been noticed that he bequeathed a special offering out of his brother's EDNESDAY morning, in last week, and between the pocket-had, in his education, evidently enjoyed religious teaching, of hours of 1 and 2 A.M., thieves undisturbed, at some idea of the obligation to provide for his own-still at the cost of
a sort, combined with secular. However he had been impressed with their leisure, bent apart two bars' in the grated his brother :window-shutters of a watchmaker's shop in Cheap
side, and cut a disc of glass out of one of the panes. “ If you do not intend to return to our birthplace, take care of my child and They had just hooked out a chain, which, unfortunately for the daring treat him as your own; and execute faithfully all that I command you here.” and ingenious fellows, had dropped between the shutters and the window, when their noise aroused the watchman in charge of the pre
He recognised the obligation of almsgiving; by the same means :mises, and caused that Argus to raise an alarm, which put them " When you meet ragged beggars, receive them, and assist them as much to flight in safety. These particulars are gathered from a newspaper, as you can, otherwise God will not permit the salvation of my soul.” which mentions, besides, the watchmaker's name. That is omitted here, because the possibility that Punch could publish, or be let in to good works. They were necessary, in his view, but could be done by
Qui facit per alium facit per se was his economical maxim applied to course the operators who trepanned MR. HYPHEN's window were deputy. He gave his brother a power of attorney to be charitable to genuine thieves. Then this is the second operation on plate-glass which the poor, and to himself also. Had that brother, however, been a artists of that denomination have been able to take their time in per
perfect stranger, and had he met him in a mountain pass near Marathon, forming, since the other day, in the midst of a chief City thoroughfare. or on the highway, could he have more coolly charged him with any How can these facts be accounted for, except on the supposition that commission than with one such
as this :there are tares in the City Police corn? Can that generally fine and “I left my watch with Mr. Rızoli-MANOLI. Go to him and give 28 trusty body of men contain any members of the dangerous classes who drachmas. Sell your own and take mine as a keepsake.” have crept into it in disguise ? Is it possible that the civic authorities have set thieves to catch thieves unwittingly, and not according to the own particular brother only with a higher
degree of the same fraternal
Doubtless this remarkable specimen of a penitent thief regarded his proverb ? Was the leisurely perforation of windows in Fleet Street affection as that which he had always
cherished for his brother man ; for and Cheapside practicable by connivance of accomplices in blue ? mankind at large. He subsisted by putting his hands into their These questions will perhaps engage the attention of the Lord Mayor pockets during
life, and he thought to buy salvation by putting them and Ala men. There is something so rotten in the state of their after death into his brother's. police arrangements, that if scientific housebreaking continues to be practised in open gaslight within their boundaries, people will soon Greek brigands' heads in the picture-shop windows. Nothing, one
Most people have seen the photographs of certain lately executed begin to say that the Mansion House is as bad as the Home Office.
would think, can be more probable than that one of those heads
belonged to the subject of the preceding remarks. The Drought and the Jolly Farmers. Homegreen (on top of hill shouting over intervening valley to Haufinch
Just Worth Mentioning. on hill opposite). How all the countree's burnt up along o'this here THE Saturday Revier advises MR. JAMES GRANT (of the drought !
Advertiser) to do what another gentleman did a great many years ago Havfinch. Ees." The land everywhere now about I calls the same in the case of Punch.” That is, to retire from a periodical because it stuff as the leases on't.
assailed the Pope, We do not know whether MR. GRANT (ultraHomegreen. As how ?
Protestant) would think such a cause sufficient to justify the course Hawfinch. Parchmunt.
suggested; but that is his affair. Ours is, to express no sham regret that the Saturday Review permits either ignorance or spite to blotch its
pages, which do habitual service to literature and to morals. THE other day a well-known Economist was found by his friends in tears. Asked the cause, he pointed to the return obtained by MR.
NEW TRANSLATION. CRAWFORD, showing the cost of writing fluid in our public offices,
We know from HORACE's first Satire what the fashionable Roman and said emphatically-Hink ille lachrymæ !
tailor said to MÆCENAS, when he came and tried on his new toga'Qui fit, MÆCENAS”. How does it fit, MÆCENAS ?”
FORE AND AFT.
Who designed the new helmet for our police? Whoever it was, he ADVICE TO PARLIAMENTARY ORATORS.—Keep your breath to cool must have done it in a fit of pique.
But Ziunce and Zorcery together
So far and no furder can goo. No wizard can alter the weather,
That's more nor your chemist can do. In drought like this here all reliance
On wisdom and nollidge is vain.
Is not under human command ;
Some tanks to construct on his hand. And then he will have, in a season
Of drought, no occasion to howl. “Make hay in fine weather,” says Reason,
And store up your rainfall in foul.”
THE CLOD AND THE CABLE.
As fast nigh, as bow arrer shoots,
To zay so, in thousand league boots.
As thof a fine thing to contrive,
You brags you can do ut in five.
Around all this globe now extends ; We zoon shall exchange converzaaishun
At Botany Bay wi' our friends, As quick, purty nigb, as we'm able
Wi' voice droo a mouth-pipe to shout,
That is if we plaze to fark out.
In youth when a smock frock I wore,
Along o' the vlash and the rhoar. What caused ut they questioned wi' wonder,
When I wus a chubby-veaced chap; But now we hears lightnun and thunder
Is but a gurt spark and loud snap.
News bearun so fur at a shock,
Is future news there by the clock. Magishuns showed zome things to PHARAOI
As caused the beholders to stare, But never a one in Grand Cairo
A wonder did work like that there.