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is gone. At present there is actually under-diligence, the cleverest, giddia keen canvass for the hire of the est, most hurrying, and most tardy of theatre from year to year. Laurent, earthly creatures, his whole conduct a Frenchman, a most dashing specu- has formed the most advantageous lator, is stirring up powerful patron contrast, and his success has correage to back his proposal. This man sponded to his prudence. At a season is certainly not afraid of being over- when theatres can but seldom collect stocked with business. For he has an audience, he has full houses. A already the English theatre in Paris, train of new performances, the secret a theatre in Brussels, branches of thea- of success, has rapidly been presented, tres in other places of the Continent, without being pressed on the public. and some interest in the theatres of If they have been found unpopular, Italy, to which he is labouring to add the manager has flung thein aside afthe tremendous responsibility of the ter a night or two, and something else King's Theatre. What is the business has started forth. The result has been of a prime minister to this man's wear success to the theatre. and tear of brain ! His chief antago- Other candidates for the Operanist on the present occasion is one, House are making their proposals with who, like himself, sets distance at de- the vigour of projectors, and the Duke fiance ; Price, the manager at once of of Devonshire is understood to declare Drury-Lane and of New York, with his astonishment that there is so much half a dozen, or half a hundred thea- money on earth to be disposed of in tres besides in the States. His ma- scenery and singing, and his sorrow nagement of Drury-Lane certainly af- that his acceptance of a “sinecure" fords a favourable promise of his suc- should have suddenly overloaded him cess in any dramatic speculation. Fol- with the most laborious office under lowing poor Elliston, who had every the Crown. fault of rashness, over-activity, and
It is said that the present state of give the soldier a convenient clothing, the military uniforms is about to un- and to distinguish him from the enemy, dergo some revision, and that already -neither is attained by the present systhe revision has produced, as military tem, and the failure in the latter point matters may be fairly entitled to do, is striking and unaccountable. The some very belligerent conversation in entire service, which is most likely to very high quarters. The Lord High be confounded with the enemy, from Admiral has begun with his depart the nature of its operations, and whose ment, and the navy are in future to confounding is, of course, most hainvest their lower man in blue trow- zardous to the general force, is actually sers, seamed with gold, for dress, in- made as like as possible to the same stead of close white pantaloons, which description of troops in the foreign must have been, of all possible invest- armies. If we have lancers to raise, ments, the most inconvenient for tars. instead of making them so obviously The naval uniform in all other points British as to leave no liability to misis, however, the most rational of that take in the field, we dress them on the of all our services, because the practi- very model of the French ; who, notcal life of the navy compels a man to withstanding all their experience, are rationality. The cocked hat may be so afflicted with melodramatic taste, an exception, for no more inconveni- that they make everything on the moent contrivance for covering or com- del of a stage-tailor. We load the fort was ever adopted for the human horseman with a cap of sickening head. But it is seldom used on board, weight, good for nothing as a defence, its chief display is on gala days, and and so high, that in the commonest in the streets of the dock-yards; and breeze half his time is taken up with if the navy are fond of it, they may keeping it from flying off, with himbe allowed to have their whim. But self in it. We cover the English the dress of the army is the true ob- face, not merely with the dandyism ject of censure.
of the moustache, a military-looking Of the two purposes of uniform,—to appendage enough when worn by a foreigner, but inevitably incongruous are sure to turn our clumsy tricks and coxcombish when pasted on an against us. To say that blue is neEnglish countenance. But the Lancer cessary for concealment in the opegoes farther, and buries his physiog- rations of light cavalry, is absurd, to nomy in a huge bush of beard-which those who know that cavalry of any would do honour to a Turk, and leaves kind have little or nothing to do in scarcely any other evidence of the hu- woods or ditches; that to conceal the man face than the nose and eyes. At horse is next to impossible ; and that three inches off, no man could distin- to sit as a vidette and gallop off with inguish between this bearded burlesque telligence, is the most that can be exand any savage from Scythia. The pected of any light-horseman ; or, at rest of the uniform is exactly of the all events, of the British trooper. But cut, the colour, and the frippery of the if concealment were to be ensured, its Frenchman. The accumulation of all fullest advantages are not to be put this foolery, which costs a prodigious in competition with a tenth of the disdeal to the country in the case of the advantages felt in every campaign by privates, as may be judged from the the Infantry Officer's utter impossibiexpense of the officers' uniform, which lity of discovering a few hundred yards amounts to about five hundred pounds, off whether the regiment, riding down actually unfits the British soldier for upon him, is coming to reinforce or to anything but a dandy. Our light ca- charge. valry are, of all others, the most inef- The arming of the light-horseman is ficient in the field. The outpost duty equally cumbrous. He is loaded with is intrusted to our German allies, and a carbine, which, in the line, he never the charges are given up to the heavy uses, and which in skirmishing he dragoons. Yet these lancers are, of uses to no effect. The German mountcourse, individually as brave as othered marksman is a valuable soldier, for men. But the evil does not stop here. his shots tell from practice. Not one From their studied similitude to French shot out of five hundred of the Bricavalry, the enemy have frequently con- tish is calculated to do anything bettrived to get in upon our infantry; ter than frighten the crows. His horse the firing that might have repelled is unruly under fire, his hand is unthem was restrained, under the idea practised, and he only wastes powder, that they were our own troops, and and exposes himself to be taken down the mistake was discovered only when by the enemy's rifles. A dozen carthey began sabreing away in our very bineers to a regiment, trained to the lines.
use of the weapon, would be enough All our light cavalry are, upon the for the purpose of protecting the outsame principle, as close as possible in posts of the camp, or concealing the their resemblance to the foreigners, movements of the lines, and would and no officer alive could tell, at a save the general incumbrance and exquarter of a mile's distance, whether pense of a weighty and an expensive the column of light cavalry advancing weapon. upon him were English or foreign. The true service for the British is the To what hesitation this doubt might heavy cavalry. An Englishman will give rise, in circumstances where he- never equal a foreigner in the outpost sitation may be ruin, is easily con- duties. He wants the forest habits, he ceivable. Yet all this hazard, which is unaccustomed to the half wild life may be the utter destruction of an familiar to the Austrian hussar; he can army or of a kingdom, is incurred never attain the patient vigilance, the from our taste for the fashions of men, power of enduring thirst, hunger, and to whom the British troops, unde- the weather, nor even the adroitness based by foreign frippery, have been in the management of his charger and in every age superior. The whole of weapons, that are almost native to our light cavalry wear blue, for no the light troops of Germany. We also other earthly reason than that the disregard the common expedients which French and German cavalry wear blue. might, in some degree, remedy those To say that this absurd imitation is original disabilities. Who ever hears for the sake of tricking the French in in England of a summer camp for the the field, is to know but little of the exercise of the cavalry? The thing is. French, who are our masters in trickery done every year in every principality of every kind, and who, in the field, of the Continent. The troops are there taught to take up positions, to move Why should our other branch of over various kinds of ground, to ma- service, the artillery, wear blue, when næuvre, to bivouac; the whole acti- red is the distinguishing colour of the vity of a campaign is gone through, and British army? In short, why should nothing new to either officer or soldier there be the existing rage for making can occur on actual service. In Eng- the army as motley as possible, with land we have still extensive spaces for only the principle preserved of making such exercises. A camp on Dartmoor it as unlike a British one, and as like would give the range of a country a French, as we can? The rifle corps wide enough for the whole display of must be excepted, as their business is a campaign. But we need not go so concealment, and the more their colour far. Windsor Forest would allow of resembles the trees, or the grass in every operation on the most interest- which they lurk, the better. But in ing scale. Health, activity, and in- all other instances let us discard the telligence, would be combined, and foreign foolery. If Englishmen have the next scene of actual service would beaten their enemies without the help tell a different tale from the history of of moustaches and beards, cuirasses the British light-horse in the Penin- and enormous conical caps, sula and Flanders. But why should and lace enough on one of them to eat not the equivocal and foreign colour up the fortune of a younger son—let be changed at once for the English us do without those absurdities, and red? It is infinitely handsomer, is not fight with clean faces, and limbs clothmore expensive, is as easily kept clean, ed in the same colour in which Marland at once adds to the appearance of borough rode over the field at Blenthe soldier and the security of the heim. general system.
The most novel application of that ing at the same time the good work of most powerful of all agents, Steam, is washing the faces of the mob far and now coming before the public in a wide. form which at least promises practical Gurney's carriage is now ready, like effects. Gurney, an ingenious chemist a pair of lovers, for a run on the north and mechanician, has, after various at road, and the Edinburgh mail may tempts and failures, brought his steam begin to tremble. But its first run carriage into a state allowing of actual will be to Windsor to pay its respects experiment on the road. It some time to Majesty, as in duty bound. It is since ran up Highgate Hill, a very next to visit Bristol by day, and havsteep ascent, at the rate of probably ten ing felt its way in sunshine, is to try miles an hour ; but its descent was its speed with the mail; this will be a more formidably rapid, for the pilot decisive proof of its locomotive powers, was unable to guide its velocity, and for the rapidity of the Bristol mail is it tore off one of its wheels. To be such, that double insurance is said to run away with by a horse of this kind, be required by the Offices for all who that would think nothing of whirling travel in it, and all who have anything carriage, passengers, and all, into the to leave are publicly requested to make third heavens, or dissolving them to their wills. But this machine has the a jelly in the face of mankind, was one grand defect, that the steamery too perilous an adventure to be assur- is under the feet of the passengers. ed of popularity. In the meantime The mighty agent which could make another engineer sent another steam mince-meat of the whole cargo at a carriage to perambulate the streets, moment's warning, is working under but his name was the most disastrous the boards on which 20 human beings imaginable for the purpose. An old pretend to be at their case, travelling Roman would have pronounced him fourteen miles an hour. Where the destined by fate never to prosper in journey may end, whether at Bristol steam apparatus, for the name was or in the other world, is the problem ; Burstall. The omen was true, for the and it will be some time before those carriage blew up, and boiled and par. who are not zealous of their speedy boiled several scientific spectators, do- riddance of all the cares of life, will be induced thus to soar upon hot-water done. Political economy is, threewings. The engineer protests, by all fourths of it, utter nonsense, or utter the names of philosophy, that a blow- ignorance, made presumptuous by the ing up is utterly impossible. But in use of high-sounding words, and exthe modern philosophy, the most im- clusive pretensions ; nothing, too, can possible things have come to pass so be less wise than the attempt to overoften, that a man attached to his own throw an established manufacture for vertebræ may well be allowed to in the sake of making the experiment of dulge a little scepticism.
an unestablished one, or trying how The machine will never be entitled far we may beat the French in silks to popularity, until the chance of and gloves, by allowing the British blowing up is entirely out of the ques- artizans of both to try how long they tion ; which it can scarcely be, while could live without eating. But where the steam-engine forms a part of the we obtain a new power over nature, carriage. It must be detached, and we have a new source of national at some distance from the carriage, wealth ; and no matter what it may and be not a steam-coach, but a steam- displace for the moment, we are sure horse. Then, though our steed be that it will replace the loss by ten blown, we shall not be in the same times, or a thousand times, the gain. condition, which, though perhaps easily The spinning-jennies and power-looms cured in his system of pipes, boilers, have increased the weavers of Engand valves, would defy the pharmaco- land from 100,000 to nearly three pæia in ours. And to this construc- millions! The steam-boats have pertion the machine will naturally come, haps not thrown a single ship out of and we shall have steam-teams for employment, while they have invans and waggons ; steam-sets for creased the general tonnage, and renmail coaches, and single horse powers dered the intercourse of England with of any shape, size, or colour, necessary her dependencies and the Continent a for the generation of the Tilburies. matter of certainty. If the steam
The comforts and conveniencies of carriage can be made general, its this contrivance will be universal and effects will be more important to us obvious. Gentlemen nice about match- than even those of the steam-boat, as ing their horses, will have nothing to being applicable to a greater variety do but send their own pattern to the of purposes, more easy of employjapanner, and they may have any co- ment, and involving less expense. lour from scarlet to sky-blue. Awk- The result on travelling would be proward whips will drive like the choicest bably ten passengers on the road for artists of Cambridge, without any one ; an obvious benefit to the trusts, more trouble than that of holding a to the innkeepers, and the towns; the rudder. The peculiar genus described increased cheapness and facility of in the advertisements, as “timid gen- conveying every kind of produce, tlemen, that love an easy-going cob, domestic, commercial, and agricultender in the mouth, and pacing like tural. We should have flocks and a lady," may have one that will no herds carried up to our markets withmore start or fling out than a Bath out the present delay, expense, and chair ; and to the romantic, the whole exhaustion of the animals. Corn, romance of guiding fiery chargers by coals, all the necessaries and coma pin in the forehead, will be realized forts of cities, would be brought with in perfection, at the rate of sixpence rapidity and ease by steam-waggons, a-soar! But if we can conceive this and exchanged with the country for use of steam to be brought to that the merchandize that now must go practical excellence which will allow by the slow and expensive passage of of its general employment, the effects canals and the coast. The intercourse must be curious, and nationally bene- from corner to corner of England ficial in a very high degree. Its evils would probably be increased in all its to the horse trade, or the travelling details ten-fold or fifty.fold, within a trade, or the oat trade, it must be idle few years ; and there would be no asto set in competition with any one of signable limit to its increase, except its advantages. Those advantages, too, the surcharge of every corner with the will not be so rapid, that time will not produce of every other—a period bebe given for things to find their level, yond calculation. and thus the least possible evil be The horse-breeders would possibly
feel the invention, in the partial decay from the state of the weather, that of their trade for horses for the road. time should be made the most of. It But the decay on the whole might be would do it better and more regularly. but trifling ; with the general inter- The Steam-horse would not be sick, course of the island, and the conse- it would not lose a shoe, nor run lame, quent general cheapness of living, nor require food through the winter. men would have more money to lay Every operation of the farm, from the out on luxuries, and a fine horse will first turning up of the ground to the be a luxury to the end of time. Thou- barvest-home, might be intrusted to sands would keep horses for one that Steam in one shape or other of carriage, keeps them now. The consumption and this exemplary drudge would work of provender for these animals might wonders in all. In the forest it would fall off for a little while ; but if the plant, cut down, and carry home the farmer sowed less oats, he would have tree ; it would drag the boat against but the more room to sow wheat ; the the river, or along the canal ; it would profits would be the same, and the rear chickens and carry them to marpublic would be possessed of its food ket, with half the village on its back ; at a cheaper rate. Besides, in the it would stack the corn, and thrash it, operations of agriculture, the horse is and bake it, and carry it in fresh loaves at present a chief source of expense- from Bristol to London between breakthe saving of that expense would be à fast and dinner. All the old miracles fortune to the farmer. The Steam- of locomotion, the arrow of Abaris, horse, or plough, would besides be a the car of Phaeton, the flying serpents better servant ; it would not be tired, of Triptolemus, the gryphons of the but would work as well by night as Arab magicians, and the wishing-cap by day, and perhaps with the usual of Fortunatus, will be tardy and trisuperiority of mechanism over animal fling to the steam-horse. Pegasus power. It would thus do twice, or himself never soared higher flights, ten times, the work, in a brief period, nor the Python was more irresistible. when it was of the utmost importance,
HEALTH AND LONGEVITY.*
Let noman abuse the Doctors, either safe. But, thirdly, making use of the of Religion or Medicine. We love the common distinction of soul and body, healing tribe, because we love our own and giving the usual superiority to the souls and our own bodies. The soul former, still we need not prefer the being considered, on the whole, a su- parson to the physician. And that for perior article to the body, it might be many reasons. First, we know—men said that we ought to prefer a parson in general we mean-more of our own to a physician. But no such inference souls than we do of our own bodies and can be logically drawn from such pre- therefore cannot surrender our judgmises. For, in the first place, we do ment so entirely to the one professional not positively know that the soul is a man in black as to the other. Secondsuperior article to the body. That is a ly, the soul is often sick and soremere conjecture. Secondly, we do not sadly out of sorts—without our being positively know that the soul is a dif- aware of it-whereas no ailment assails ferent article from the body. Here the body without our shrewdly suswe are--soul and body it may be—or pecting that something is amiss. For merely a Something which should in once, therefore, that we call in a parour humility be nameless—a something son, professionally, we send twenty which thinks, feels, fears, loves, hates, times for a physician. Who ever heard, goes mad, and—dies ; and that is all except in extreme cases, of knocking we know about it, whether we choose up a parson, out of his warm bed at to call ourselves Materialists or Imma- midnight, to visit a sick patient ? terialists. As long as we believe that Thirdly, the spiritual Pharmacopeia we are the children of God, and strive is very meagre. The ablest practitioner to act accordingly, in that creed we are - can he minister to a mind diseased ?
Sure Methods of Improving Health, and Prolonging Life, &c. By a Physician. London : Simpkin and Marshall, &c. 1827.