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THE ESSENCE OF ANECDOTE AND WIT.

The Essence of Anecdote and MMit.

MR. CURRAN.

IN speaking of a learned Serjeant, who gave a confused, elaborate, and tedious explanation of some point of law, Curran observed, that whenever that grave counsellor endeavoured to unfold a principle of law, he put him in mind of a fool whom he once saw struggling a whole day to open an oyster with a rolling pin.

THE DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH.

INCONSISTENT as the Duke of Marl borough's character may appear to you, said Mr. Pope, yet it may be accounted for, if you gauge his actions by his reigning passion, which was the love of money. He endeavoured at the same time, to be well both at Hanover and St. Germains; this surprised you a good deal when I first told you of it; but the plain meaning of it was only this, that he wanted to secure the vast riches which he had amassed together, whichever should succeed. He was calm in the heat of battle; and when he was so near being taken prisoner (in his first campaign) in Flanders, he was quite unmoved. It is true, he was like to lose his life in the one, and his liberty in the other: but there was none of his money at stake in either This mean passion of that great man, operated very strongly in him in the very beginning of his life, and continued to the very end of it. One day, as he was looking over some papers in his scrutoire with lord Cadogan, be opened one of the little drawers, took out a green purse, and turned some broad pieces out of it. After viewing them for some time, with a satisfaction that appeared very visible in his face; "Cadogan, (said he) observe these pieces well! they deserve to be observed; there are just forty of them: 'tis the very first sum I ever got in my life, and I have kept it always unbroken, from that time to this day." This shows how early, and how strongly, this passion must have been upon him; as another little affair, which happened in his last decline, at Bath, may serve (among many others) to show how miserable it continued to the end. He was playing there with Dean Jones at piquet, for sixpence a game; they played a good while, and the duke left off when winner of one game; some time after, he desired the dean to pay him his sixpence, the dean said he had no silver,; the duke asked

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him for it over and over, and at last desired that he would change a guinea to pay it him, because he should want it to pay for the chair that carried him home. The dean, after so much pressing, did at last get change; paid the duke his sixpence; observed him a little while after leaving the room, and declares that, (after all the bustle that had been made for his sixpence) the duke actually walked home, to save the little expence a chair would have put him to.

ANACHRONISM.

DURING Young's engagement at Bath in the winter of 1820-21, "Henry Sth" was revived, to exhibit him in the character of Wolsey. The representative of one of the Bishops, fancying, I suppose, that suff-taking was a distinguishing characteristic of the character he personated, indulged his nose freely throughout the play, forgetting that the scene was laid at a period of nearly fifty years before tobacco was ever brought to England.

FRENCH REVENGE.

A Frenchman lately visited London, and took up his residence with a family in the neighbourhood of Brunswick Square. A few evenings after his arrival, he rode on horseback along the New Road; and, on reaching the Turnpike at Battle Bridge, was stopped by the gatekeeper, who demanded from him a toll of one penny. Monsieur, not comprehending the meaning of this exaction, remonstrated strongly against it, and for some time refused to submit; but, at length, finding his eloquence was of no avail, he threw down the penny in a passion, exclaiming vehemently, "Dere is your monie, sare; and, to ponish you, I vil not come through your pike again dis day!"

LAZINESS REWARDED.

'Just

ONE day as a Shepherd was lying on the side of Tinto, basking in the sun with his hands in his pockets, the one leg placed above the other, he was asked by a gentleman the road to Biggar. haud awa' that way,' replied he, at the same time pointing to it with the toe of his uppermost foot. I'll give you halfa-crown,' said the gentleman, to give me another as lazy-like answer. The herd, then, drawing his hand about half out of his pocket, so as to help the mouth of it open, 'just put it in there you're wa.".

REPROOF.

Two planters having called at a tavern in the city of Kingston, Jamaica, and drank a bottle of wine together, when about to depart, both insisted on paying the bill. The one putting a two dollar piece on the table, swore dreadfully that his friend should be at no expence; the other jocularly said, "That two dollar piece is a bad one,' on which he swore

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Guide.

more vehemently. The mistress of the Mechanic's Dracle and Domestic house, a Miss W, hearing what passed, came forward, and begged to examine the money, promising to inform them, in a few minutes, whether or not it was good. Returning soon after, she, in the most polite manner, laid the piece before them on a card, written as follows:

It chills my blood to hear the blest
Supreme

Rudely appeal'd to, on each trifling

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Between Ashbourne and Derby there stands a mean-looking chapel of the Established Church, called "HalterDevil Chapel." The story told in the neighbourhood respecting its erection is no less singular than its name and appearance. A man named Brown, of bad character, having to go a journey very early, went to catch his horse, when by some means he caught the DEVIL, who broke loose and vanished in a flash of fire! This incident had such an effect upon Brown (as well it might), that he built a chapel on the spot, and left twelve pounds for ever, secured upon property in Derbyshire, to be paid to the clergy

CHINESE METHOD OF MAKING
SHEET-LEAD.

THE Sheet-Lead which comes from China is manufactured in a way not generally known in this country. The operation is couducted by two men. One is seated on the floor, with a large flat stone before him, and with a moveable flat stone-stand at his side. His fellow workman stands beside him with a crucible filled with melted lead, and having poured a certain quantity upon the stone, the other lifts the moveable stone, and dashing it on the fluid lead, presses it out into a flat and thin plate, which he instantly removes from the stone. A second quantity of lead is poured in a similar manner, and a similar plate formed; the process being carried on with singular rapidity. The rough edges of the plates are then cut off, and they are soldered together for use.

APPLE BREAD.

A very light pleasant bread is made in France by a mixture of apples and flour, in the proportion of one pound of the former to two of the latter. The usual quantity of yeast is employed as in making common bread, and is beat with flour and pulp of the apples after they have boiled, and the dough is then considered as set; it is then put up in a proper vessel, is allowed to rise for eight or twelve hours, and then baked into long loaves. Very little water is requisite; none, generally, if the apples are very fresh.

MR. WRIGHT having purchased of the Proprietors of the HIVE, the entire Copyright of that Work, an amalgamation of the two works will take place in our next sheet. The advantage to our kind readers will be, that by an immediate increase of Subscribers, we shall be enabled to purchase valuable original matter, intermixed with articles from the pens of popular writers in our country.--EDIT. LONDON:-WILLIAM CHARLTON WRIGHT, 65, Paternoster Row, and may be had of all Booksellers and Newsmen. SEARS, Printer, 45, Gutter Lane, Cheapside.]

The Portfolio,

Comprising

1. THE FLOWERS OF LITERATURE.

II. THE SPIRIT OF THE MAGAZINES.

III. THE WONDERS OF NATURE AND ART.

IY. THE ESSENCE OF ANECDOTE AND WIT. V. THE DOMESTIC GUIDE. VI. THE MECHANICS' ORACLE.

Or No. 18 of] FORMING ALSO No. 119 OF THE HIVE.

No. CII. [Vol. IV.

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Note.-The generous Patrons of the HIVE will be gratified by our Publisher connecting their previous numbers-with the addition of much talent-to this work.

VOL. IV.

WITH THREE ENGRAVINGS.-PRICE 2d.

MEMOIR OF WILLIAM HOGARTH.

WILLIAM HOGARTH was born in Westmoreland, in 1698, and apprenticed to a silversmith in London, with whom he entered upon that branch which consists in engraving ciphers and arms upon plate. This occupation gave him a turn for drawing; and before his apprenticeship expired he exhibited a singular talent for ludicrous caricature. At the expiration of that period he entered an academy for drawing and design.

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The

An edition of Hudibras afforded him the first subject suited to his genius; he afterward obtained considerable employment as a portrait-painter. His talents for original comic design gradually unfolded themselves, and on several public occasions he produced proofs of his ludicrous powers. In 1730, he formed a clandestine marriage with the only daughter of Sir James Thornhill, the painter, and soon after commenced "The Harlot's Progress," his first great series of moral paintings. Some of these pieces were designedly put in the way of his father-in-law, in order to reconcile him to a match which, from the obscurity of the object of his daughter's choice, he had been led to disapprove. His observation on seeing them was, The man who can produce such works, can maintain a wife without a portion." He was reconciled, however, soon after, and the young couple were brought home to his house. Harlot's Progress" proved so popular, that a pantomime founded on it was successfully represented on the stage. This, with several subsequent performances failed not to place him in the first class of original genius and invention. He may be said to have created an entirely new species of painting, which may be termed the "moral comic," as his pieces are all lectures of morality. Of his works in series, besides the Har. lot's Progress, there are, "The Rake's Progress,' "Marriage a-la- Mode," "Industry and Idleness," "The Stages of Cruelty," and a set of election prints. After having acquired deserved reputation in his proper walk, Hogarth attempted to shine in the brightest branch of the art, and produced several unsuccessful specimens in historic painting, A Sigismunda, which was to rival the Italian school, proved, according to Lord Orford, 66 more ridiculous than any thing he had ever ridiculed." In 1753, he produced a work entitled, "The Analysis of Beauty," written

with a view of fixing the fluctuating ideas of taste.

By the resignation of his brother-inlaw, Thornhill, Hogarth, in 1757, obtained the place of serjeant-painter to the king. This connexion with the court, probably induced him to engage against the patriotic champion Wilkes, and his friends, in a print entitled 'The Times,' published in 1762. Some strictures upon him on this account in a North Briton produced his caricature of Wilkes. This occasioned an angry epistle to the painters by Churchill; and Hogarth retaliated, in a caricature of the poetical divine. On this occasion the Earl of Orford observes, in his History of Painting, "Never did two angry men, with great abilities, throw mud with less dexterity."

His powers were still unimpaired, for he had shortly before produced one of his capital works, a satirical print against the Methodists. From this year a decline in his health took place, which, October 26, 1764, terminated in his sudden death at his house in Leicester Square, owing to the rupture of an aneurism in his chest. He was interred at Chiswick under an elegant mausoleum, of which we have given a correct representation taken on the spot. On the north front are the celebrated lines on Hogarth written by the equally cele brated Garrick :

"Farewell, great painter of mankind,

Whose pictured morals charm the mind,
Who reach'd the noblest point of art,
And through the eye correct the heart.
"If genius fire thee, reader, stay,

If neither move thee, turn away,
If nature touch thee, drop a tear;

For Hogarth's honour'd dust lies here."
Above this, prettily grouped in relievo,
are an open volume, inscribed, "The
Analysis of Beauty;" to the left, an oak
branch; and to the right, on a resting-
staff, is suspended a laurel wreath, with
other implements characteristic of the
profession. On the east front is an in-
scription intimating the time of his
death, surmounted by the arms of this
illustrious artist.
branches of his family appear in appo-
Those of various
site situations on other parts of the mau-
soleum. From one of them we find that
Jane Hogarth, his wife, died Nov. 13,
1789, and lies buried beside her distin-
guished spouse.

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MEMOIRS OF THE YEAR 1824.

The Spirit of the Magazines.

MEMOIRS TO SERVE FOR A HISTORY
OF THE REIGNS OF THE TWELVE
MONTHS BELONGING TO THE EX-

TINCT DYNASTY OF THE YEAR
1824.

THE year commenced with a comet, which was visible to early risers, and by the parhelion of a star of the first magnitude in the musical world at Brighton. A dense fog, which turned day into night, enveloped London. Much mystification in politics. Much mystification in the press about John Thurtell. Steam mail-coaches about to be constructed, and steam chickens hatched by steam near Hatch-ard's. Horses and steam orators suggested. Commerce improving. Glass eyes, cork legs, excellent noses, and new ringlets on bald places supplied on the shortest notice. Surgery improving: legs beautified by scraping the shin-bone, and noses supplied by the Tallicotian operation. The age becoming very learned. The new houses occupied by aurists, ophthalmists, and chiropodists, and the new streets filled with panoramas, cosmoramas, dioramas, eidouranions, panharmonicons, and heptaplasiesoptrons. Wonderful moral improvement, as appears by the advertisements. All servants confidential; all nursery maids good-humoured; money forced upon the needy by Jew usurers; and little or no vice left in man or horse. A German philosopher, this month, discovered traces of vegetation and fortification in the moon ; a proposal made by a company for an aërial mail-coach to work by steam for conveying passengers thither. Overflowing houses produced by the Cataract at Drury Lane. Great fight between Spring and Langan for the championship. Spring's early appearance; carried off by Lord Deerhurst in his chariot, with Thomson's invitation,

"Come, gentle Spring, ethereal mild

ness, come.'

Great sparring between Lord Byron and Mr. Southey-first round; hireling: cowardly ferocity: pitiful renegado: second round; whips, branding-irons, and gibbets. Vision of Judgment adjudged, and condemned. Sympathetic tears continued to be shed by the gentlemen of the press over the amiable exploits of Hunt, Probert, and Thurtell. Eighty thousand copies of

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The Sunday Times sold on the day of the trial. Gill's-hill-lane stripped of its hedge by way of memento. Iron tears observed on the faces of undersheriffs and jailors; and locks of hair exchanged with turnkeys.

February opened with fogs, and Parliament opened with a flourishing exposé from the throne: many loans of various kinds started by Greeks, and supported by simpletons: disinclination to touch the Spanish: advice to Ferdinand useless--to add vice impossible in that quarter. Fracas between a noble déesse de la danse and her favoured swain; the hearts of opera dancers now thought of more than the heels. Sir William Curtis obliged to put into Naples by dearth of provisions. The very fish afraid of him. Many flat fish at Fishmongers' Hall said to be clearing 30007. per diem. Great confusion among the Gamesters, in consequence of sentence and fine: none but persons of character stated by the AttorneyGeneral to be admitted into T-'s; and Mr. F-pronounced by the same authority to be a respectable man. Parliamentary decision on the corn-laws, and the silk-laws: dear corn very advantageous to the landlords, and cheap silk very agreeable to their wives and daughters; consequently very popular.

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March made his appearance in a boisterous manner, with raging winds: a rage for loans and companies, and a general desire to be fed upon air. Short cuts to wealth in vogue in the city: Honesty quizzed out of 'Change; Industry disclaimed; and Perseverance out of fashion. Mexican mining companies for making gold and silver like dirt, and out of dirt. Companies for making diamonds out of coals. Genuine milk companies, tea companies, wine companies, and beer companies, suggested at real Oporto would be better for health than cyder and sloe juice; that bread, at present made of Devonshire white alum and potatoes, would be wholesomer if made of flour; that Indicus cocculus, deadly nightshade, fox-glove, and quassia, make worse beer than malt and hops, and that tea made of hedge-leaves dried upon shovels is apt to breed indigestions.

April appeared like a coquette, or a dram-drinker, in smiles and tears. April the first was signalised, as was fitting, by more companies: Irish bull, Irish rhetoric, and Irish brogue companies proposed by Mr. R. Martin.

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