CHAPTER IV OF DIVERTING AND DIVERSIONS: I WAS once employed in comforting of a truely afflicted Ladie: the greatest part of their discourses are artificiall and ceremonious. Uberibus semper lachrimis, semperque paratis, In statione sua, atque expectantibus illam, Men do but ill in opposing themselves against this passion; for opposition doth but incense and engage them more to sorrow and quietnesse: The disease is exasperated by the jealousie of debate. In matters of common discourse, me see, that what I have spoken without heede or care, if one come to contest with me about it, I stifly maintaine and make good mine owne; much more if it be a thing wherein I am interessed. Besides, in so dooing, you enter but rudely into your matter, whereas a Physitions first entertainment of his patient should be gracious, cheerefull and pleasing. An uglie and froward Physition wrought never any good effect. On the contrary then, we must at first assist and smoothe their laments, and witnesse some approbation and excuse thereof. By which meanes you get credit to go on, and by an easie and insensible inclination, you fall into more firme and serious discourses and fit for their amendment. But I, who desired chiefly to gull the assistants, that had their eyes cast on me, meant to salve their mischiefe: I verily finde by experience, that I have but an ill and unfruitfull vaine to perswade. I present my reasons either too sharpe, or too drie, or too stirringly or too carelesly. After I had for a while applyed my selfe to hir torment, I attempted not to cure it by strong and lively reasons: either because I want them, or because I suppose I might otherwise effect my purpose the better. Nor did I cull out the severall fashions of comfort prescribed by philosophy: That the thing lamented is not ill, as Cleanthes; or but a little ill, as the Peripatetikes: That to lament is neither just, nor commendable, as Chrysippus: Nor this Epicurus, most agreeing with my manner, to translate the conceit of yrkesome into delightsome things: Nor to make a loade of all this masse, dispensing the same, as one hath occasion, as Cicero. But faire and softly declining our discourses, and by degrees bending them unto subjects more neare; then a little more remote, even as shee more or lesse enclined to mee. I unperceavably remooved those dolefull humours from hir: so that as long as I was with her, so long I kept her in cheerefull countenance; and untroubled fashion, wherein I used diversion. Those which in the same service succeded mee, found her no whit amended: the reason was, I had not yet driven my wedge to the roote. I have peradventure else where, glaunced at some kindes of publike diversions. And the militarie customes used by Pericles in the Peloponesian warre, and a thousand others else where, to divert or withdrawe the armie of an enemie from their owne country, is too frequent in histories. It was an ingenious diverting, where-with the Lord of Himbercourt saved both himselfe and others in the towne of Liege, into which the Duke of Burgondie, who beleagred the same, had caused him to enter, to performe the covenants of their accorded yeelding. The inhabitants thereof, to provide for it, assembled by night, and began to mutinie against their former agreement, determining upon this advantage to set upon the Negotiators, now in their power. Hee perceiving their intent, and noise of this shoure readie to fall upon him, and the danger his lodging was in, forth-with rushed out upon them two cittizens (whereof he had divers with him) furnished with most plausible and new offers to be propounded to their counsell; but indeed forged at that instant to serve his turne withall, and to ammuse them. These two stayes the first approaching storme, and carryed this incensed Hydraheaded-monster multitude backe to the towne-house, to heare their charge, and accordingly to detemine of it. The conclusion was short; when loe a second tempest came rushing on, more furiously inraged then the former; to whom he immediately dispatched foure new and semblable intercessors, with protestations that now they were in earnest to propose and declare new and farre more ample conditions unto them, wholly to their content and satisfaction; whereby this disordered rout was againe drawne to their Conclave and Senate-house. In summe, he by such a dispensation of amusements, diverting their headlong fury, and dissipating the same with vaine and frivolous consultations, at length lulled them into so secure a sleep, that he gained the day, which was his chiefest drift and only aymed scope. This other storie is also of the same predicament. Atalanta a maid of rare surpassing beautie, and of a wondrous strange disposition to ridde herselfe from the importunate pursuit of a thousand amorous sutors, who sollicited her for mariage, prescribed this law unto them; that shee would accept of him that should equall her in running on condition those she shold overcome might lose their lives. Some there were found, who deemed this prize worthie the hazard, and who incurred the penaltie of so cruell a match. Hippomenes comming to make his assay after the rest, devoutly addressed himselfe to the divine protectresse of all amorous delights, earnestly invoking her assistance: who gently listning to his hearty prayers, furnished him with three golden Apples, and taught him how to use them. The scope of the race being plaine, according as Hippomenes perceived his swift-footed mistresse to approch his heeles, he let fall (as at unawares) one of his Apples: the heedlesse maiden gazing and wondring at the alluring beautie of it, failed not to turne and take it up. Obstupuit virgo, nitidique cupidine pomi, OVID. Met. x. 666. The maid amaz'd, desiring that faire gold, The like he did (at his need) with the second and third, untill by this digressing and diverting, the goale and advantage of the course was judged his. When Physitians cannot purge the rheume, they divert and remoove the same unto some lesse dangerous part. I also perceive it to be the most ordinary receit for the mindes diseases. Abducendus etiam nonnunquam animus est ad aliena studia, sollicitudines, curas negotia: Loci denique mutatione, tanquam ægroti non convalescentes, sæpe curandus est: Our minde also is sometimes to be diverted to other studies, cogitations, cares and businesses: and lastly to be cured by change of place, as sicke folkes use, 'that otherwise cannot get health. We make it seldome to shocke mischiefes with direct resistance: we make it neither to beare nor to break, but to shun or divert, the blow. This other lesson is too high, and over-hard. It is for him of the first ranke, meerely to stay upon the thing it selfe, to examine and judge it. It belongth to one onely Socrates, to accost and entertaine death with an undaunted ordinary visage, to become familiar and play with it. He seeketh for no comfort out of the thing it selfe. To die seemeth unto him a naturall and indifferent accident: thereon he wishly fixeth his sight, and thereon he resolveth without looking elsewhere. Hegesias his disciples, who with hunger starv'd themselves to death, incensed thereunto with the perswading discourses of his lessons; and that so thicke as King Ptolomey forbad him any longer to entertain his schoole with such murtherous precepts. Those considered not death in it selfe, they judged it not: This was not the limit of their thoughts, they run on, and ayme at another being. Those poore creatures we see on scaffolds, fraught with an ardent devotion, therein to the uttermost of their power, employing al their sences; their eares attentive to such instructions as Preachers give them, their hands and eyes lift up towards heaven; their voice uttering loud and earnest praiers; all with an eager and continuall ruth-mooving motion; doe verily what in such an unavoydable exigent is commendable and convenient. One may well commend their religion, but not properly their constancy. They shunne the brunt; they divert their consideration from death; as we use to dandle and busie children, when we would lance them or let them bloud. I have seen some, who if by fortune they chanced to cast their eyes towards the dreadful preparations of death, which were round about them, fal into trances, and with fury cast their cogitations elsewhere. Wee teach those that are to passe over some steepy downe fall or dreadfull abisse, to shut or turne aside their eies. Subrius Flavius, being by the appointment of Nero to be put to death by the hands of Niger, both chiefe commanders in war: when he was brought unto the place where the execution should be performed, seeing the pit Niger had caused to be digged for him uneven and unhandsomely made: Nor is this pit (quoth he to the souldiers that stood about him) according to the true discipline of war: And to Niger, who willed him to hold his head steddy, I wish thou wouldest stricke as steddily. He guessed right; for Nigers arme trembling, he had divers blowes at him before he could strike it off. This man seemeth to have fixed his thoughts surely and directly on the matter. He that dies in the fury of a battle, with weapons in hand thinkes not then on death, and neither feeleth, nor considereth the same: the heate of the fight transports him. An honest man of my acquaintance, falling downe in a single combate, and feeling himselfe stab'd nine or ten times by his enemy, was called unto by the by standers to call on God and remember his conscience: but he told me after, that albeit those voices came unto his eares, they had no whit mooved him, and that he thought on nothing, but how to discharge and revenge himselfe. In which combat he vanquished and slew his adversary. He who brought L. Syllanus his condemnation, did much for him in that when he heard him answer he was prepared to die, but not by the hands of base villaines, ran upon him with his souldiers to force him; against whom obstinately defending himself though unarmed with fists and feet: he was slaine in the conflict: dispercing with a ready and rebellious choller the painefull sence of a long and fore-prepared death: to which he was assigned. We ever thinke on somewhat else: either the hope of a better life doth settle and support us, or the confidence of our childrens worth, or the future glory of our name, or the avoyding of these lives mischieves, or the revenge hanging over their heads that have caused and procured our death: Spero equidem mediis, si quid pia numina possunt, Sæpe vocaturum. VIRG. Æn. iv. 382. Audiam, et hæc manes veniet mihi fama sub imos.--387. I hope, if powers of heaven have any power, On rockes he shall be punisht, at that houre, He oft on Didoes name shall pittilesse exclaime, This shall I heare, and this report, shall to me in my grave resort. Xenophon sacrificed with a crowne on his head, when one came to tell him the death of his sonne Gryllus in the battell of Mantinea. At the first hearing whereof he cast his crowne to the ground, but finding upon better relation how valiantly he died, he tooke it up and put it on his head againe. Epicurus also at his death comforted himselfe in |