Jo Barrager's smack. Vell, Jo axed me to step in and eat my breakfast vid him, and I did the same, findin' as there was no vind and it vasn't slack vater yet. Then I goes back to Aunty's, and becase I jist sat down by Josh Martinow vhile he vas eatin' on his breakfast, Aunty swears as how I must pay two shillin' for lookin' on. Didn't she Josh ?" Joshua confirmed Little Silvy's account of the matter, and proceeded to give them a much clearer statement of the whole affair than they were likely to receive" from the member'last up."

This communication was received with no small indications of incipient wrath. Aunty Herringblob was presently christened with more harsh sounding names, than ever the genius of Burns invented for old Satan himself; and the determination to

Rouse up revenge from ebon den
With fell Alecto's snake,

was unanimous. But so various and discordant were the opinions of the several boatmen, on the mode of executing vengeance, that the more knowing ones had fears that all their high resolves would vanish into air, unless some of the obstinate partizans would give up their own particular schemes. One was for burning her house-another for tarring and feathering her a third for using her all up.

At last Big Silvy, having, with the assistance of an oar, which had been reclining close by him, restored silence, thus addressed them :-" D'ye think I'll sit here, ye bull-pups of Satan, and hear all this riot vidout speakin'? Sit ye down there, Jim Snell: as for you Josh Martinow, if you don't shut your fly trap in less than no time, I'll ram the but-end of this ere oar through your red gills, before you can say Jack Robinson. Tommy Jones, if you don't hold your jaw, I'll sink-" Before Big Silvy was able to finish his speech, the top of the flour barrel had been so unsettled, by means of his bodily exertions in endeavouring to restore quiet, that it gave way, notwithstanding its solidity, and the head and knees of the unfortunate chairman were all of himself that were visible-the rest of his miserable members being concealed by the flour barrel, in which he was encased. In vain did he bellow-in vain did he wriggle. Peals of laughter, long, loud and deep, succeeded each other so fast, that any one, within hearing, must have concluded, that Satan was holding his free and easy that night, on his own island, and in his own punch-bowl. At last, Big Silvy, stretching his lungs to the utmost of their bearing, bellowed forth, in a voice so tremendous, that, as tradition runs, the echoes were heard even to Toad Hill, a distance of six miles: "Only lift me up and I'll Vol. I. No. V.

44

lick the lot of you." The only effect of this threat was to redouble the deafening shouts of laughter, which continued with out intermission, until at last Big Silvy, with one tremendous effort, snapped the iron ring, which had compressed the parts of the barrel together, and, in a twinkling, the staves were flying in every direction, over the heads of the congregated boat, men; nor was the rage of Big Silvy appeased, until he had reduced the oar, which he had before brandished, into a thousand splinters, over the heads and backs of all who came within his reach.

No de otra suerte que en sereno dia
Balas de nieve escupe, y de los senos
De las nubes relampagos y truenos,
Súbita tempestad en monte ó prado,
Obligando que el timido ganado
Atónito se esparza.

The moment which disarmed him was seized upon as the most favourable to make peace with this tremendous chairman. Every mouth was open with offers of rum-sling, brandycocktail, gin-twist, or any other peace-offering which was likely to appease the offended dignitary. After looking around him two or three times, with eyes that resembled those of a bull, when surveying the dogs that have been let loose to bait him, he at last broke silence by a most energetic horse-laugh: "Haugh, haugh, haugh, h-a-a-u-gh! Did you get it my lads? Vy, Josh, how's your cocoa-nut? Jemmy Snell, I takes it as your larboard day light's bunged up for life. Vy, Tommy Jones, an't you got whole sittin' room left? Vell, so being as that ere's the case, and you can't sit, gie us that ere seat, you lubber, and mind vot I tells you next time, vill you but?" The gentle chairman having been thus accommodated with a seat, and a wet having been duly presented to him, he waved his hand for silence, and thus delivered himself: "Now, hold your jaw, every mother's son of you, and hear me. Vy, vot are you talkin' about burnin' the voman's house, or tarrin' or featherin' on her, or any sich d-d palaver? Vy, the house is a stone-house, and as to tarrin' or featherin' the woman, vy, tar costs money and Aunty's no chicken-she's pretty vell feathered already. As to usin' her up, vy there's some reason in that ere. So look'ee; hear my notion. If I sees you snigger agin, Josh Martinow, I'll let you know vot a dead man's eye means, if I don't I'm Vy, instead of any sich trumpery things, let's eat her out of house and home: that ere's vot I calls usin' on her right up. Vot are ye laughin' at, ye judies? I says eat her out of house and home. Didn't she say as she'd find a man

as much as he'd stow in his locker, for two shillin', and can't ve get lots of fellows that 'll eat her out of house and home at a meal ???

This idea was no sooner suggested, than it was approved of by the whole body. The only thing that remained, was to pitch upon a champion. After much deliberation, Paunch Hogabout* was selected as the man, on whose appetite depended the success of their undertaking.

Now Paunch Hogabout was a tall, lank, ugly, ragged, nastylooking man, as one would wish to clap his two eyes upon. His skin hung about him like an old lady's loose gown, and hunger stared forth in every glare of his hollow eye. His chief employment was to saunter along shore, anxiously watching for those small water-spouts, so frequently observed to issue from the sandy beach, when it is heavily trod upon, and which always indicate the residence of certain shell-fish, which shall be nameless. On observing any of these indications, Hogabout would, with great dexterity, ferret the poor fish from their lurking places; nor would he leave the spot until every one of them had been removed from their sandy hiding-places to that cavity in his carcase which furnished him with a christian name. Although this was the chief employment of Mr. Hogabout, yet it is not to be denied, nor concealed, that he would occasionally disappear for the space of a week, or thereabouts, and that shrewd suspicions were entertained, that Paunch was then engaged in the commission of certain sneaking land-piracies, in the interior of the island; inasmuch as he looked less hungry than usual after his return, and would sometimes waste a whole day in dock walloping, before he resumed his piscatory rambles. Paunch, however, disdainfully repelled all these insinua tions, and manfully supported "that he only vent to the Jarseys jist to pick up an honest penny by vorkin'." Many well disposed persons were inclined to believe his own account of himself, and Paunch had nearly succeeded in getting a majority in his favour, when, unfortunately, a pair of fowls, a young turkey, a bunch of onions, and sauce according, claimed by an old lady, who resided about a mile from Paunch's commons, were discovered in loving conjunction with the exterior of his carcass; withdrawn from their hiding place, by the civil authority, (in the shape of a little shrivelled up old constable, who was the schoolmaster of the village ;) and identified by the

* The real name of this individual was Peter Houghwout, but we have endeavoured to spell it, as it was usually pronounced by the Staten Island

ers.

old lady, as the very property she had missed the preceding day. All his protestations were disbelieved; but, by the goodnatured interference of the old lady, Hogabout escaped the punishment due to his crime, and was permitted still to go at large.

This was a sad thing for poor Paunch. He, who had formerly been carried about to every election, to eat smoked beef, mouldy crusts and mould candles, for the amusement of the electors; who had been regularly supplied with the cold broken meats of every table within a mile of his habitation; and who, at Paass, was permitted to eat as many hard boiled eggs as he could swallow, free of charge; was now obliged to walk seven miles to the election meetings, and then to walk back again without having been offered even a mouldy crust, much less a mould candle. No broken meats were now lavished upon him, nor did Paass any longer shine a holiday for poor Paunch Hogabout. He had no resource but in his fishing grounds-in which he laboured unremittingly.

Jamque fame patrias altique voragine ventris
Attenuârat opes: sed inattenuata manebat
Tum quoque dira fames, implacatæque rigebat
Flamma gulæ.

66

It was about three weeks, after this unfortunate dénouement, that the honourable body of boatmen determined to pitch upon Hogabout as their champion; and great was the eloquence exhibited in the éloge pronounced by the elder Silvy on the qualifications of Hogabout as their functionary. Vy," said the orator, "vy, now let's jist ax ye, ye bloody fools, vere vill ye find jist sich another vone as Paunch Hogabout? The man's hungrier as ever he vas-an't he? Vy, vot's the poor devil had more as-clams to live on, for more as three weeks? Vot more d'ye vant? I says he's jist the thing-I says he can eat lots more as any body else I knows, and so I says as how if you don't take Paunch Hogabout for the vone, vy, if I have any thing more to do vith it, vy then say, "black's the vite of your eye, Big Silvy-that's all." This spirited resolution of Big Silvy settled the matter, and Hogabout was the man. They proceeded forthwith, in a committee of the whole, to communicate the affair to Hogabout, who was requested to keep himself in training for some days: but the poor devil said it would be utterly impossible for him to keep body and soul together two days longer; and entreated so piteously that they would fix on the very next day for the undertaking, (promising that

nothing should continue an hour undemolished before him,) that the tender hearted boatmen, fully satisfied by his starved appearance, and ravenous looks, that he required no training, acceded to his request, and directed him to be in readiness, at the lower wharf, by nine o'clock the next morning.

At the appointed hour, Hogabout, accompanied by a half starved Frenchman, who had been lurking about the island for some days, and who had, for want of better company, insinuated himself into the good graces of Paunch Hogabout, made his appearance, and was placed in the bows of the boat, where he sat silently ruminating upon the havoc he was about to make. The boatmen, being all placed according to their respective rank, some at the fore-sheet, others at the main-sheet, and the party aggrieved, with one or two of the elder boatmen, in the stern-sheets-the fastenings of the boat were unloosed by some "polissons" on the wharf; up went the sails, and off sailed the boat, proudly dashing the foaming waters on either side of her bow, or in the more expressive language of her crew, "carrying a white bone in her teeth."

The poor Frenchman, who accompanied Paunch, having been let into the mystery of the excursion, expressed great anxiety to be Hogabout's adjutant, to which the boatmen partly assented; and the famishing Frenchman, in extacy at the prospect of a good dinner, with the characteristic levity of his nation, gave utterance to his feelings, in an appropriate song, of which the following fragment is all we remember:

Tout le salé
S'en est allé,

Est avalé ;

Le vin de condrieu

Nous dit adieu;
Père Mathieu
Blasphême, au lieu
De prier Dieu.

The breeze, however, soon slackened, and recourse was necessarily had to the oars; and, as it was considered that nothing so much whets the appetite as exercise, poor Hogabout was placed at one oar, and the Frenchman at another, notwithstanding all his murmurs.

Aboutnoon the boat reached the city, and, after having carefully moored her, the party proceeded in a body to the scene of their intended operations. Poor Hogabout, clam-fed, and lean as he was, looked considerably like the mermaid lately