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Ford. [Aside.] I think, I shall drink in pipewine first with him; I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?

All. Have with you, to see this monster. [Exeunt.

SCENE III.
Ford's House.

Enter Mrs. Ford, Mrs. Page, and sercants with a basket.

Mrs. Ford. What, John! What, Robert! Mrs. Page. Quickly, quickly; is the buckbasket

Mrs. Ford. I warrant:---What, Robin, I say.
Mrs. Page. Come, come, come.

Mrs. Ford. Here, sit down.

Mrs. Page. Give your men the charge; we must be brief.

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Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish:. I would thy husband were dead; I'll speak it before the best lord, I would make thee my lady.

Mrs. Ford. I your lady, sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady.

Fal. Let the court of France shew me such another: I see how thine eve would emulate the diamond: Thou hast the right arched bent of the 10 brow, that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian admittance1.

Mrs. Ford. A plain kerchief, sir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither.

Fal. Thou art a traitor' to say so; thou would'st 15 make an absolute courtier; and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait, in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if fortune thy foe were not; nature is thy friend: Come, thou can'st not hide it.

Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John, and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewhouse; and when I suddenly call on you, come 20 forth, and (without any pause, or staggering) take this basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Thames side,

Mrs. Page. You will do it?

Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction: Be gone, and come when you are call'd. [Exeunt Servants. Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin. Enter Robin.

Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket?? what news with you?

Mrs. Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing in me.

Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee, there's something extraordinary in thee. Come, I cannot cog, and say, thou art this 25 and that, like a many of these lisping haw-thorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell like Buckler's-bury in simple-time; I cannot: but I love thee; none but thee; and Ithou deservest it.

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Rob. My master sir John is come in at your backdoor, mistress Ford; and requests your company. 35 Mrs. Page. You little Jack-a-lent', have you been true to us?

Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn: My master knows not of your being here; and hath threaten'd to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; 40 for, he swears, he'll turn me away.

Mrs. Puge. Thou'rt a good boy; this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and hose.-I'll go hide me. Mrs. Ford. Doso: Go tell thy master, I am alone. 45 Mistress Page,remember you your cue. [Exit Rob. Mrs. Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me. [Exit Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Ford. Go to, then;-we'll use this unwholesome humidity, this gross watry pumpion; 50 -we'll teach you to know turtles from jays. Enter Falstaff.

Fal. Have I caught thee, “my heavenly jewel? Why, now let me die, for I have liv'd long enough; this is the period of my ambition: 055 this blessed hour!

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Mrs. Ford. O sweet sir John!

Mrs. Ford. Do not betray me, sir; I fear you love mistress Page.

Fal. Thou might'st as well say I love to walk by the Counter-gate; which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.

Mrs. Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one day find it.

Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind.

Rob. [Within.] Mistress Ford, mistress Ford! here's mistress Page at the door, sweating, and blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.

Fal. She shall not see me; I will ensconce me behind the arras.

Mrs. Ford. Pray you do so; she's a very tattling woman. [Falstaff hides himself. Enter Mrs. Puge. What's the matter? how now?

Mrs. Page. O mistress Ford, what have you done? you're sham'd, you are overthrown, you are undone for ever.

Mrs. Ford. What's the matter, good mistress Page?

Mrs. Page. O well-a-day, mistress Ford! having an honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!

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Pipe is known to be a vessel of wine, now containing two hogsheads. Pipe wine is therefore wine, not from the bottle, but the pipe; and the jest consists in the ambiguity of the word, which signifies both a cask of wine, and a musical instrument. Eas-musket is the same as infant Lilliputian. A Jack o' lent was a puppet thrown at in Lent, like shrove-cocks. The speaker here tells his mistress, she had a face that would become all the head-dresses in fashion. merit. Buckler's-bury, in the time of Shakspeare, was chiefly inhabited all kinds of herbs, green as well as dry.

"That is, to thy own by druggists, who sold

Mrs. Ford.

Mrs. Ford. What cause of suspicion ? Mrs. Page. What cause of suspicion?-Out upon you!-how am I mistook in you!

Mrs. Ford. Why, alas! what's the matter? Mrs. Page. Your husband's coming hither, wo- 5 man, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman, that, he says, is here now in the house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: You are undone.

Mrs. Ford. Speak louder.—[Aside.] 'Tis not 10 so, I hope.

Mrs. Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here; but 'tis most certain your husband's coming with half Windsor at his heels,| to search for such a one. I come before to tell 15 you: If you know yourself clear, why I am glad of it: but if you have a friend here, convey him, convey him out. Be not amaz'd; call all your senses to you; defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.

Mrs. Ford. What shall I do?-There is a gentleman, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame, so much as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pound, he were out of the house.

Ford. Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck! Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I war rant you, buck; and of the season, too, it shall appear. [Exeunt Servants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I have dream'd to-night; I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my chambers, search, seek, find out: I'll warrant we'll unkennel the fox:-Let me stop this way first:-So, now, uncape2.

Page. Good master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much.

Ford. True, master Page.-Up, gentlemen; you shall see sport anon; follow me, gentlemen. [Exit.

Era. This is fery fantastical humours, and jealousies.

Caius. By gar, 'tis no de fashion of France: it is not jealous in France.

Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the 20 issue of his search. [Exeunt. Mrs. Puge. Is there not a double excellency in this?

Mrs. Page. For shame, never stand you had 25 rather, and you had rather; your husband's here at hand, bethink you of some conveyance: in the house you cannot hide him.—Oh, how have you deceived me!-Look, here is a basket; if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; 30 and throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking: Or, it is whiting-time, send him by your two men to Datchet mead.

Mrs. Ford. He's too big to go in there: What shall I do?

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Mrs. Page. What! sir John Falstaff? Are these your letters, knight?

Fal. I love thee,-help me away: let me creep in here; I'll never[linen.

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Mrs. Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my husband is deceiv'd, or sir John. Mrs. Page. What a taking was he in, when your husband ask'd who was in the basket!

Mrs. Ford. I am half afraid, he will have need of washing; so throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.

Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same strain were in the same distress. Mrs. Ford. I think, my husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now.

Mrs. Page. I will lay a plot to try that: And we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throw40ing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?

[He goes into the basket, they cover him with foul Mrs. Page. Help to cover your master, boy:45 Call your rien, mistress Ford :-You dissembling knight!

Mrs. Ford. What, John, Robert, John! Go, take up these clothes here, quickly; Where's the cowlstaff? look, how you drumble': carry them to the 50 laundress in Datchet mead; quickly, come. Enter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans. Ford.. Pray you, come near: If I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me, then let me be your jest, I deserve it.-How now? whi-55 ther bear you this?

Serv. To the laundress, forsooth.

Mrs. Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? you were best meddle with buck-washing.

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Mrs. Page. We'll do it; let him be sent for
to-morrow, eight o'clock, to have amends. -
Re-enter Ford, Page, and the rest at a distance.
Ford. I cannot find him: may be the knave
brag'd of that he could not compass.

Mrs. Page. Heard you that?
Mrs. Ford. I, I; peace:
well, master Ford, do you?
Ford. Ay, I do so.

-You use me

Mrs. Ford. Heaven make you better than your thoughts!

Ford. Amen.

Mrs. Page. You do yourself mighty wrong, master Ford.

Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it.

Eva. If there be any pody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment ! Caius. By gar, nor I too; there is no bodies.

'Look, how you drumble, means, how confused you are. In the North, drumbled ale, means muddy, disturb'd ale. This alludes to the stopping every hole at which a fox could enter, before

they uncape or turn himout of the bag in which he was brought.

Every one has heard of a bug-fox.

Page.

Page. Fie, fie, master Ford! are you not asham'd? what spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I would not have your distemper in this kind, for the wealth of Windsor Castle.

Ford. 'Tis my fault, master Page: I suffer for it. Eva. You suffer for pad conscience: your wife is as honest a'omans, as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

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Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. Ford. Well;-I promis'd you a dinner:-Come, 10 come, walk in the park: I pray you pardon me; I will hereafter make known to you, why I have done this. Come, wife; come, mistress Page; I pray you pardon me; pray heartily, pardon me.

Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, 15 we'll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house to breakfast; after, we'll a birding together; I have a fine hawk for the bush: shall it be so?

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Enter Shallow, Slender, and Mrs. Quickly. Shal. Break their talk, mistress Quickly; my kinsman shall speak for himself.

Slen. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't: 'slid, 'tis but venturing.

Shal. Be not dismay'd.

Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that,-but that I am afeard.

Quic. Hark ye; master Slender would speak a word with you.

Anne. I come to him.-This is my father's choice.
O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults
Look handsome in three hundred pounds a-year!
[Aside.

Quic. And how does good master Fenton? pray you, a word with you.

Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father!

Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne; my un20cle can tell you good jests of him:-Pray you, uncle, tell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle.

Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any wo25 man in Gloucestershire.

Caius. Dat is good; by gar, vit all my heart. Era. A lousy knave; to have his gibes, and 30 his mockeries.

SCENI IV.
Page's House.

[Exeunt.

Enter Fenton and Mistress Anne Page. Fent. I see, I cannot get thy father's love; Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. Anne. Alas! how then?

Fent. Why, thou must be thyself.

Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will, 'come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a 'squire.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for himself.

Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that-good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll 35 leave you.

He doth object, I am too great of birth; [pence, 40
And, that, my state being gall'd with my ex-
I seek to heal it only by his wealth:
Besides these, other bars he lays before me,-
My riots past, my wild societies;
And tells me, 'tis a thing impossible

[come!

I should love thee, but as a property.
Anne. May be, he tells you true.
Fent, No, heaven so speed me in my time to
Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth
Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne:
Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value
Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags;
And 'tis the very riches of thyself

That now I aim at.

Anne. Gentle master Fenton,
You seek my father's love; still seek it, sir:
If opportunity and humblest suit

Cannot attain it, why then,--Hark you hither.

[Fenton and Mist ss Anne go apart.\

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Anne. Now, master Slender.

Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.
Anne. What is your will?

Slen. My will od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with me?

Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you: Your father and my uncle, have made motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole?! They can tell you how things go, better than I can: You may ask your 50 father; here he comes.

Enter Page and Mistress Page.
Page. Now, master Slender:-Love him, daugh-
ter Anne.-

Why how now! what does master Fenton here?
55 You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house :
I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of."
Fent. Nay,master Page,be notimpatient. [child.
Mrs.Page.Goodmaster Fenton, come not to my
Page. She is no match for you.

That is, come poor, or rich, to offer himself as my rival. The phrase is derived from the forest laws, according to which, a man who had no right to the privilege of chace, was obliged to cut or law his dog, amongst other modes of disabling him, by depriving him of his tail. A dog so cut was called a cut, or curt-tail, and by contraction cur. Cut and long-tail therefore signified the dog of a clown, and the dog of a gentleman. A proverbial expression.

Fent.

Fent. Sir, will you hear me? Page. No, good master Fenton. Come,master Shallow ;--come, son Slender; in :Knowing my mind, you wrong me, master Fenton. [Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender. Quic. Speak to mistress Page. [daughter Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your In such a righteous fashion as I do, [ners, Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manI must advance the colours of my love, And not retire: Let me have your good-will. [fool. Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yon' Mrs. Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.

Quic. That's my master, master doctor. Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth, And bowl'd to death with turnips!.

Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself: Good master Fenton,

I will not be your friend, nor enemy:
My daughter will I question how she loves you,
And as I find her, so am I affected;

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Till then, farewell, sir:-She must needs go in ;
Her father will beangry. [Exe.Mrs. Page & Anne.
Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress; farewell, Nan. 25
Quic. This is my doing now:-Nay, said I, will
you castaway your child on a fool, and a physician
Look on, master Fenton:-this is my doing.

Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee once tonight give my sweet Nan this ring: There's for 30 thy pains. [Exit.

Quic. Now heaven send thee good fortune! A kind heart he hath: a woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet, I would my master had mistress Anne; or I would 35 master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would master Fenton had her: I will do what I can for them all three; for so I have promis'd, and I'll be as good as my word; but speciously for master Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to sir 40 John Falstaff from my two mistresses: What a beast am I to slack it!

SCENE V.

The Garter inn.

3

Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.

Fal. Bardolph, I say.-
Burd. Here, sir.

[Exit.

Bard. Come in, woman.

Enter Mrs. Quickly. Quic. By your leave;--I cry you mercy :--Give your worship good-morrow.

Fal. Take away these chalices: Go brew me a pottle of sack finely.

Bard. With eggs, sir?

Fal. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage.-How now?

Quic. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from mistress Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough: I was thrown into the ford; I have my belly-full of ford.

Quic. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.

Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promise.

Quic. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yern your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine: I must carry her word quickly: she'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Eul. Well, I will visit her: Tell her so: and bid her think, what a man is: let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Quic. I will tell her.

Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou
Quic. Eight and nine, sir.

Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her.
Quic. Peace be with you, sir.
[Exit.
Fal. I marvel, I hear not of master Brook; he
45 sent me word to stay within: I like his money
well. Oh, here he comes.

Fal. Go fetchine a quart of sack; puta toast in't. [Exit Bardolph.] Have I liv'd to be carried in a 50 basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal; and to be thrown into the Thames? Well; if I be serv'd such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a newyear's-gift. The rogues slighted me into the river 55 with as little remorse as they would have drown'd a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter and you may know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drown'd, "but 60 that the shore was shelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man; and what a

Enter Ford.

Ford. Bless you, sir!

Fal. Now, master Brook? you come to know what hath pass'd between me and Ford's wife? Ford. That, indeed, sir John, is my business. Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour she appointed me. Ford. And you sped, sir?

Fal. Very ill-favour'dly, master Brook. Ford. How, sir? Did she change her deter mination?

Fal. No, master Brook: but the peaking cornuto her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, after we had embrac'd, kiss'd, protested, and as it were, spoke the pro

1 A common proverb in the southern counties of England. She intends to say, specially.

2 That is, some time to-night. logue

logue of our comedy; and at their heels a rab-
ble of his companions, thither provok'd and insti-
gated by his distemper, and forsooth, to search
his house for his wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?
Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find you?

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Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one mistress Page; gives intelli-10 gence of Ford's approach; and by her invention, and Ford's wife's distraction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket!

Fal. Yea, a buck-basket: 'ramm'd me in with 15 foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, and greasy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous smell, that ever offended nostril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

ted in their own grease: think of that, a man of my kidney'-think of that; that am as subject to heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw; it was a miracle to 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stew'd in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of thathissing hot-think of that, master Brook.

Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffer'd all this. My suit is then desperate; you'll undertake her no more.

Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding: I have receiv'd from her another embassy of meeting: 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, master Brook. Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir.

Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my ap20pointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crown'd with your enjoying her: Adieu. You shall have her, master Brook; master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. [Exit.

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I have suffer'd to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul cloaths 25 to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave their master in the door; who ask'd them once or twice, what they had in their! basket: I quak'd for fear, lest the lunatic knave would have search'd it; but fate ordaining h30 should be a cuckokl, held his hand. Well; onwent he for a search, and away went I for foul cloaths But mark the sequel, master Brook: I suffer'd the pangs of three several deaths; first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten beli-35 wether: next, to be compass'd, like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head: and then, to be stopp'd in, like a strong distillation, with stinking cloaths that fret

Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake! awake, ma-ter Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen, and buck-baskets !-Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house: he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep into a half-penny purse, nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil that guides him, should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would uot, shall not make me tame: If I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn-mad.

[Exit.

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With was sometimes used for of. 2 A bilbo is a Spanish blade, of which the excellence is flexibleness and elasticity. Kidney in this phrase now signifies kind or qualities; but Falstaff means,

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a man whose kidneys are us put as mine. That is, make myself ready.

Will.

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