Well, in the end it all comes right, For Mrs. Boyce repented And now they 're both contented, The infinite to wonder at. against him. is a third refugee of a different stamp, Vivianne, whom David at very short notice falls in love with and marries. After the ceremony however he is going to understand that she is his wife "in name alone." Much have I travelled in the realms of fiction, yet saw I never a matrimonial difficulty of this kind that did not collapse in the last chapter. So that, even when a former lover turned up to claim her, I was never seriously anxious about the ultimate destination 'If it can be reckoned my duty to create an atmosphere of Vivianne (indeed for that matter, if the authors wanted suggestive of the book I am to talk about and the period to withhold information about their climax, they should with which it is concerned, the author-he signs himself certainly have censored the picture on the cover). So it ASHTON HILLIERS has kindly supplied me with a recipe remains just a pretty story, with some pleasant wit and a in which he places infinite reliance. It all lies in the deal of sentiment: a very restful mixture. little word "ye." Nothing else is required to convert the language of the modern daily Press into that of the blackguards, and of course the gentlemen, of the PRINCE REGENT'S Court. Suppose ye try how ye like it. That ye will find something to approve in the book itself is assured because, ranging as it does from such favourite old topics of the author's as the Society of Friends and forgiveness of one's enemies to despatch riding for WELLINGTON and comic opera at the Horse Guards, Demi-Royal (METHUEN) includes variety to suit all tastes. Not indeed that the writer is always equally at home. He would, I imagine, be the first to admit that in the detailing of lively adventure he does not easily catch that gallantry of movement and conviction that must come easily to come at all; if pressed harder than I, his sincere admirer, could wish, he might even confess to having condescended to make a convenience of those supposed gaps in his hero's manuscript which now and then do most certainly seem to omit what should have been a thrill, rather than to bridge a threatened dulness; but in the long run, and particularly in those later chapters where Georgie completes her transformation from a lumpish German boy to a glorious M. PEOPLE WE NEVER MEET. variety of Mr. W. E. NORRIS remains a thing Age and custom seem to have no chance I notice that on the title-page of his latest novel, Troubled Tranton (CONSTABLE), he is described as author of three others, after which the publishers fall back upon the refuge of "etc., etc." Perhaps if they printed the names of all Mr. NORRIS's former stories there would be no room for the present one; which I should have regretted, for Troubled Tranton is an admirable entertainment in its quiet way. Tranton was a house, and its troubles rose from the fact that the late owner, in defiance of justice and expectation, had left it, not to his own nephew and heirpresumptive, but to his niece-inlaw, one Mrs. Lynden, a charming widow, who didn't want it. So Nicholas Alder, who should have had the house, refused all the usurper's offers of friendship and even restitution. Moreover, poor inoffensive Mrs. Lynden began to be agitated by the arrival of abusive and anonymous letters, threatening her with all sorts of penalties if she remained as mistress of Tranton. Naturally the district, and all those nice neigh THE YOUNG MAN WHO SAYS HE HAS NOT JOINED Princess of the Blood, he too comes to his own, which is | bourly people who abound in Mr. NORRIS's books, were no mean thing. And so, notwithstanding his habit of greatly concerned by this; more especially when the unreproducing details, big and little, that he has given us before, or his abominable misuse of comments in brackets, I shall advise ye all to read him. known enemy set fire to Mrs. Lynden's summer-house, and even kidnapped the daughter of a local magnate who had been active in her defence. As to who the troubler really was, that in common fairness I must leave for Mr. NORRIS AGNES and EGERTON CASTLE, forsaking the eighteenth to explain; possibly you will not have read very far before century, have now turned their attention to the infinitely penetrating the secret, which of course will only add to more thrilling twentieth. The Hope of the House (CASSELL) your pleasure on finding in the last chapter that your is a story of the modernest of modern times. A very pretty sagacity was not at fault. One captious question. Even story too which you can take, according to your taste, as in these unhampered days, would Sir Augustus have allowed a compliment or not. It really divides itself into two parts. his niece to journey unattended to London in order to The first-and better, because the more moving and convinc-interview a wholly unknown man about the purchase of ing-tells how David, the elder of the two Owen brothers, a hunter? I can't help thinking that she went more to determines to endure a struggle with poverty in order to help Mr. NORRIS with the plot than for reasons of probakeep the old home and pass it on to young John. This bility. episode, the success of David's effort and its tragic frustration with the death of John in the early days of the War, is sincere and strong. I liked less the subsequent developments, in spite of some pleasant comedy in the treatment of Lady Celia's relations with the two placid and eminently Apparently the weary traveller is expected to sleep on the worldly guests whom she calls "my poor Belgians." There sofa in the coffee-room. War Prices. "Special terms for Commercial Gentlemen only, Tea Bread and Breakfast, 5/6."-Hotel Advt. CHARIVARIA. ** We are indebted to a number of well known, persons who have somecorrespondents who have sent us a thing wrong with their feet, ought to THE Germans are still faithful to paragraph from The Daily Mirror be handed over for treatment to a their national poet, SHAKSPEARE. MAX stating that Miss ELLALINE TERRISS cheerupadist. REINHARDT has just produced The "hopes to raise £250,000 for the benefit Tempest on a monumental scale at the of our blind and disabled soldiers by The good people of Nairobi, East People's Theatre, Berlin. A modern selling a million badges at 1s. each." Africa, were dreadfully disappointed touch was imparted to the play by the We are informed that the CHANCELLOR when the last English mail arrived, actor who was cast for Ferdinand OF THE EXCHEQUER has asked for an and they learnt that we were not yet being called upon at the last moment interview with the accomplished lady through the Dardanelles. Their local to appear as Caliban. to find out how she proposes to do it. paper had informed them that the Montenegrin army was on the outskirts of Scutari, and that Scutari was "a town on the Bosphorus opposite Constantinople." ** In the account of an officer being In a recent article in The Daily The current complaint that the Telegraph, Dr. E. J. DILLON wrote Cabinet is too large for the efficient that King Ferdinand's hatred of transaction of business has not been Russia is as strong as his contempt entirely fruitless. Last week, one disfor the Bulgarian politicians, whom he tinguished Minister spent some hours moves backwards and forwards like in the smoking-room of the House of robbed by the Germans as he lay pawns on the political chessboard." Commons while his colleagues were wounded This unorthodox treatment of the pawns furnishes a further proof that KING FERDINAND does not play the game. * The London County Council have set an example of economy to other public bodies by suspend Nursemaid. "I'M GOIN' TO LEAVE THIS PLACE, MUM." 66 between the opposing trenches it is stated that some years ago he was the tallest man in the Indian Army. And after the Germans had been through his pockets he was one of the shortest. The well-known artist who advertised, the other day, his desire that gentle people having pretty children would allow him to see them, as he wished to paint a pretty child, is in treaty for the Albert Hall as a studio. ** In conversation with a Socialist Deputy of the Reichstag the KAISER is said to have remarked, "with tears in his eyes," that he was sincerely sorry for France-France, Mistress. 'WHY? DON'T YOU LIKE THE CHILD?" CAN'T GET 'IM NEAR ONE.' disappointment of his ing all prizes for school-children until discussing important matters. in the life." If the Walrus had been bitten the War is over. A saving of £10,000 PRIME MINISTER'S room; and it is by one of the Oysters he would have a year will thus be effected, and there rumoured that Mr. AsQUITH would be felt just like that. will be no need to curtail the salary of glad to see this example extensively M.P.s. followed. A Boer Predikant is reported in An officer at the Front writes:-"A the South African papers as saying new battery which had moved behind that "God trusted General Hertzog our trenches started registering the in the dark, but could not trust German trenches one afternoon. The Englishmen in the dark, and that was first shell however landed on our own why He caused the sun never to set on parapet, where a sergeant and some of the British." We infer that the my men were working. As it hapreverend gentleman has not recently pened the shell did not burst and no been in London. one was damaged, but a large hole was knocked in the parapet. The sergeant, nothing amazed, just walked up to me and said, Please, Sir, would you mind 'phoning through to the battery and asking them to cease fire while I repair the parapet?'" ** When replying to Advertisements, kindly mention The Watford Newsfetter.' It is the Censor's favourite organ. "In the trenches near the observation station we met the general, who remarked Nous sommes on train de la marmiter' (They have been annoying us)." Lloyd's Weekly News. We find the translation rather free and prefer the closer rendering-"We are about to pot her" (meaning, no doubt, a Black Maria). "The collection of Mr. Lloyd George's war speeches... contains, of course, the famous atmosphere the other day. The interest of preface which so much disturbed the political that is fleeting if violet." Manchester Guardian. A person who ought to know better One of Mr. GEORGE'S "purple patches," suggests that pessimists, being, as is in fact. R TO FERDINAND, ON HIS PROSPECTS. BETWEEN the Turk, your country's ancient foe, Whose butchers drank her blood like steaming was sail, And him of Potsdam, who, if matters go Smoothly, will have you as his humble vassal, You are the tertium quid, O FERDINAND, which Conspires to make a most repulsive sandwich. Here stands the Moslem with his brutal sword Still red and reeking with Armenia's slaughter; Here, fresh from Belgium's wastes, the Christian Lord, His heart unsated by the wrongs he wrought her; And you between them, on your brother's track, Sworn, for a bribe, to stick him in the back. Yet, spite of such a fellowship, your fate. Won't be a steady round of beer and skittles; And not alone that bright blade, hung o'erhead, Shall dull your cheer and poison all you swallow; Uneasy sits the alien King who's wed To schemes his patriot folk are loath to follow; So next your skin (for flannel won't avail) You'd better wear a steel-proof shirt of mail. O. S. DIVERSIONS OF THE CABINET. WE all know how Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL walked into a colourman's shop, three months ago, and purchased a manual upon Pictures and How to Paint them; and how already he has produced a number of "large and dignified landscapes," and is at work upon a "stately portrait of his wife." But it is not by any means so generally known -it may have been withheld by the Press Bureau-that this sort of thing is going on all over the Cabinet. I had a talk yesterday, writes our representative, with a stall-holder at a forthcoming bazaar who was most enthusiastic about Mr. BONAR LAW's poker-work. "The work is so realistic that you can almost smell the singe," she said, "and there is an enormous quantity of it. His industry is amazing. The unexpected adjournment of the House for a week over the Finance Bill meant the addition of three corner cupboards, a tea-tray and a small bedroom bookcase to my supply. His work is always unsigned. He picked it up, it seems, in a moment from an article on Parlour Crafts in a magazine." There is no busier man in the country at present than the MINISTER OF MUNITIONS, and it will probably come as a surprise to his many admirers to learn that he contrives to find time to pursue his new hobby of Ecclesiastical Architecture. Visitors to Criccieth in the near future would do well to keep their eyes open for a rich example of NeoMethodist-Gothic opposite the railway station, which has caused something of a flutter in the R.I.B.A. Mr. GEORGE apparently picked up the guiding principles of the art in conversation with an intelligent steel roller on the Clyde. New distinctions would seem to be in store for Sir F. E. SMITH. "I had a talk with his publisher," writes our representative, "one day last week, and he told me much that I feel bound to suppress in the public interest. But it is an open secret that a gigantic Book of Sonnets is already in the press which will give reviewers much food for thought. The story that Sir FREDERICK had picked up a manual entitled How to be a Poet is quite untrue. He was deep in study of the map one day when he was struck by a very EVADING THE CENSOR. "Dick has got his marching orders at last-off on Saturday," said Eileen. "Now I want you to find some way for him to let me know his whereabouts without being stopped by that horrid Censor." This," I said, "is a matter for reflection. What you want is some quaint and rare device which will not only dupe the Censor but can be guaranteed to furnish no information to the enemy. Imagire the excitement of the Ober-Offizier who intercepted a letter informing him that Lieutenant Richard Donkin was at Here's most important news,' he would say. 'Himmel! Lieutenant Donkin at ! Schnell! order up three extra army corps at once!' . . . No, Eileen, we must avoid that possibility at all costs." As it happened I lunched with a man the next day who had encountered exactly the same problem. His son had arranged a cryptogram, using the first letter of every fourth word to spell out the name of his whereabouts. "And does it answer?" I said. "Not very well. It was all right at first, when he was at the base, but as soon as he moved on there came through a string of highly improbable names which we couldn't find in any map on the market. The last one was ‘Yttgau,' which suggests that he lost count, or else he'd been unexpectedly transferred to Russia." Anyway Dick wouldn't hear of the plan. He said it would cramp his style. So I gave deep thought to the matter and at last conceived the perfect plan. What you and Dick must do," I said, "is to have duplicate maps. You must then agree upon two main towns, say Paris and Brussels, as bases. When Dick has finished his letter he places it over the map (letters from the Front are always written on flimsy semi-transparent paper), sticks a pin through Paris and Brussels, and a third pin in his own locality. Then when the letter arrives all you have to do is to pin the two fixed holes over Paris and Brussels in your map, and the third hole gives you Dick's whereabouts. It is also obvious that a mere letter with a few pinholes in it tells the Bosches nothing." Well, Dick agreed to this, and soon after he left we received a letter with perforations indicating that he was in -, a well-known town in Northern France which is familiar to all our readers. Then he moved on to and there he stuck for several weeks; or at least, if Eileen's pinpricks were to be trusted, he fluttered round sort of jaunty spiral. And then at last there came a hint that he was approaching the firing-line. in a A few days afterwards I found Eileen inspecting a letter with furrowed brows. Its appearance was most singular-simply riddled with pin-holes; rather like a target on our miniature range when I'm in my true form. "Wait a minute," I said, "there's something on the other side." There was a hastily pencilled line of unfamiliar handwriting. It ran as follows: "The Censor is not such a fool as you seem to think!” ["When I went to Bulgaria I resolved that if there were to be any assassinations I would be on the side of the assassins."-Statement by FERDINAND.] |