put fresh heart into the tent-makers, as | plum duff. He was willing to hazard month of August, which Matilda assured they were able to assure me that no an opinion on relatively trivial details me is the sole test as to whether or not railway company would carry tents, and like meat, but on important questions pork is fit for human consumption. that the War Office had bought up every like pâté de foie gras and turnips and Obtaining no assistance from the available motor lorry. They were right the service allowance of pepper per man Army or our own past experience I about the motor lorries, but I discovered for breakfast, and whether an infantry turned my attention to marine records, a railway company that was willing to man was entitled to one pickle and a and found that the staple food of the carry tents if and when they had time, cavalry man to two pickles for tea he sea is vinegar. As the weather looked and if they could find the necessary was hopelessly uninformed. The best wet and stormy I decided to adopt a trucks and the men to load them. When he could do was to offer to look up a vinegar diet, especially as vinegar is it got round that I had secured tents, book of army regulations which had easily bought and, being wrapt up in about ten members of the battalion been issued to him in 1856, and which barrels, can be handled with facility. assured me that, if they had known he thought still held good. Both Matilda and the Battalion that I wanted tents, they could have On inquiry I ascertained that our Quartermaster-Sergeant thought that obtained them for me for nothing. I last Camp Quartermaster, after feeding the men would expect meat either as a effectually stopped this kind of talk by the battalion on a consistent dietary of relish or an alternative to the vinegar, telling them that I wanted lots more pork sausages for four days, had retired as some of them at least would be landtents and eagerly accepting their offers to a private home for the feeble-minded, lubbers and not entirely attuned to the to get them. where he was passing his time calcu- vinegar diet, and I accordingly agreed lating how many sausages it will take to risk the expense of adding meat to to feed a battalion of uncertain number the cuisine. for a week on the basis that pork Subject to the state of the Editor's sausages go bad in geometrical progres- digestive organs I will tell you some sion, starting at one-eighth of a sausage other time how to buy meat for the the first day and going on at the double. Army and the kind of things that the I felt certain that mutiny would be the War Office do by way of intervention. result of attempting to feed the batta- when they find out that you have laid lion on pork sausages for a fortnight in in stocks of tents, vinegar and meat a year when there was no R in the with a view to holding a camp. Having more or less settled the tent problem I turned my attention to the food question, and sent for the battalion Quartermaster-Sergeant, who incidentally was once a real Quartermaster-Sergeant. He said that he knew all about feeding troops, but couldn't tell me accurately how many stones go to a pound of plum jam, or how many raisins each man is entitled to in a ration of FIRST MUNITION WORKER. "LOOK HERE, MATE, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD. YOU'RE A TRAITOR TO YOUR UNION." SECOND DITTO. "WELL, I'D SOONER BE THAT THAN A TRAITOR TO MY COUNTRY." ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. (EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.) House of Commons, Tuesday, 14th September.-On prorogation of Parliament elected in January, 1581, adjourned in March same year, QUEEN ELIZABETH, with that affability in conversation that marks royalty, asked the SPEAKER what had passed in the House of Commons. "If it please your Majesty, seven weeks," answered Speaker POPHAM. To-day Parliament resumes the Session. If our Mr. SPEAKER were asked by the Sovereign what had passed in the interval since the adjournment he might make answer, "If it please your Majesty, nearly seven weeks." Poignant remembrance of how, towards end of July, we parted distraught with apprehension. Something over six weeks' adjournment of Parliament! And what meanwhile was to become of interests of the Empire at home and abroad? How would the Cabinet get along, deprived of daily counsel from supporters seated below Gangway? (Perhaps more precise to say standing, for they were generally on their legs). House by spontaneous burst of cheer- white cambric handkerchief profusely ing appreciated subtle distinction. Up streaming from breast coat-pocket like to certain point, loosely but generously flag of truce. defined, WAR MINISTER is to be trusted "I rise," said Mr. CHAPLIN in voice for guidance. That limit reached, rather of sorrow than of anger, "lest, JOYNSON-HICKS interposes and finally sitting on the same bench as the settles stupendous problem. honourable and gallant gentleman, my ད་\me་ས་སྐྱུག silence might appear to give consent to views expressed by him." Strangers in gallery, chiefly men in khaki, puzzled by peal of laughter that followed this remark. What were they laughing at? Preserving best traditions of Front Opposition bench, CHAPLIN chivalrously declared his full trust in the Government to decide if and when compulsory service might be needed in best interests of country. Only person House really cared to hear on subject was the PREMIER. Of the hour allotted to discussion just nine minutes left to him. More than sufficed. Indeed, last half-minute served for reply that for the time settled everything. 66 'When," he said, "the Gov. ernment, without undue delay, with as much deliberation as the gravity of the subject demands, arrive at their conclusions, they will present them to the House, and they will become the subject of Parliamentary discussion." "COMFORTED BY THE GRINDING OF HANDEL BOOTH Well, we muddled through AND THE WARBLING OF WEDGWOOD." somehow, for here we are again, once Leader of Opposition had rather unmore counselled and comforted by the easy time. GUEST (in khaki) jumped grinding of HANDEL BOOTH, the war- up from his side and, with pistol held bling of WEDGWOOD, the denunciation at head of PREMIER of course in Parof DALZIEL, the prattle of PRINGLE and liamentary sense of the words-insisted the jocularity of JOYNSON-HICKS. The hyphenated Member for Brentford contributed to debate a remark that uplifted cloud of war and made Members momentarily merry. What PREMIER aptly described as "a sporadic desultory discussion" on question of conscription versus voluntary enlistment had occurred. JOHN DILLON introduced subject in passionate speech greeted with continuous cheering from Members opposite. Remembering old times when he was accustomed to be shouted down from same quarter, reception must have given him pleased surprise. Irrespective of Party lines House divided into two camps, one demanding day for discussion of the question, the other insisting on leaving matter to decision of Government, who alone are in possession of information upon its full bearings. It was here JOYNSONHICKS rushed in and settled matter. "On the question of conscription," he said, "I should myself prefer to be guided very largely by Lord KITCHENER." upon day being given for discussion of recruiting question. When he sat down his esteemed Leader solemnly rose, his THE PRIME MINISTER MARKING TIME, WITH AN EYE ON THE CLOCK. Business done.-Parliament re-assembled. Commons sat eighty minutes. Lords thirty-five. House of Lords, Wednesday.-House wore gala aspect. Exceptionally large attendance of Peers. Steps of Throne thronged by Privy Councillors. Galleries garlanded by ladies in summer frocks. Atmosphere of intense expectation. Explanation forthcoming in nouncement that WAR SECRETARY would make important statement on progress of War and present position of campaign. Now would the veil persistently spread by Press Bureau be lifted. Now the public, who really have some concern in the matter, would be taken into full confidence. Gossip and rumour, idle or vicious, would be dispersed. K. OF K. in his place on Ministerial Bench with soldier-like punctuality. On stroke of half-past four rose from side of CREWE. Laid on Table packet of type-written MS. With head bent over it proceeded to read at rapid pace in level voice. Chamber at best a bad one to speak in even for a Peer who stands upright, with head thrown back, talking in measured and sonorous tones. Elderly Caddie (discussing with golfer the very indifferent exhibition of another member). "YOU KNOW, HE DON'T REALLY ENJOY HISSELF. IT'S MORE OF A RELIGION WITH HIM THAN A GAME, SO TO SPEAK." This rapid, unpunctuated, unemphasized reading of a paper hopeless. Noble Lords sat in attitude of strained attention waiting for disclosure of something new, striking, peradventure cheering. What they heard was a bald summary of communiqués from Headquarters with which the newspapers had long made them familiar. Only new thing of any importance was expression of opinion that on Eastern front "the Germans have almost shot their last bolt." From so high authority, abnormally averse from taking sanguine views, this opinion was welcomed with muffled cheer. Standing alone it scarcely satisfied high-strung expectation. When K. OF K. sat down a strange thing happened. Noble lords sat in mute surprise looking at each other. Was this really all? Was the tale ended? Surely something must follow. LORD CHANCELLOR sat motionless on Woolsack, looking round silent benches. Nobody rose. After awkward pause, it seemed a full minute's duration, but was probably only a moment, he remarked, "The House will now adjourn." Which it forthwith did in dazed condition. He was always so regarded whilst with us in the Commons. House will be glad to hear that in new circumstances he is maintaining his reputation; and his many friends will take a personal pride in this tribute from a comrade who was with him in the same gallant charge. country, that if conscription be decreed they will straightway stop work. Ministers significantly abstained from taking part in conversation. Business done.-New Vote of Credit passed Report stage. Our Experts. "It is always a matter of amour propre with every commander to keep his adversary ignorant of his dispositions, and let him find them out for himself rather than supply the information from his own side." Military Correspondent of "The Daily News." Part II., in regard to making perFrom Training Manual Signalling, manent joints in a broken cable: sufficient quantity has been absorbed, and "Dip the joint into the liquid solder until a then wipe it with a rag. Wash the joint with water to remove the remains of the flux, dry Long, occasionally lively, sitting, and serve with india-rubber tape and solution." extending to full time limit of eleven We have often observed some such o'clock. Occupied with talk about dish as this at the Mess, and wondered relative merits of conscription and where the cook got the recipe from. voluntary service. Colonel ARTHUR LEE, home from the War, opened fire under former flag. Some sensation created by deliberate statement made by J. H. THOMAS, authorized exponent of views of railwaymen throughout the A Good Catch. "FISH-RODD.-At St. Paul's Church, Grangetown, September 8th, by the Rev. D. Western Mail. |