this samt 70st of the : Host. What say you to young master Fenton? he ca- | Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough; tress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would thy hast the right arched bent of the brow, that becomes Ford. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian with me to dinner'; besides your cheer, you shall have adınittance. sport; I will show you a monster. --- Master doctor, Mrs Ford. A plain kerchief, sir John: my brows beyou shall go ;-so shall you, master Page; – and you, come nothing else; nor that well neither. sir Hugh. Fal. Thou art a traitor to say so : thou wonld'st make Shal. Well, fare you well :-we shall have the freer an absolute courtier; and the firm fixture of thy foot vooing at master Page's. would give an excellent motion to thy gait, in a semi{Exeunt Shallow and Slender. circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if fortune Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. thy foe were not; nature is thy friend: come, thou (Exit Rugby. canst not hide it. Host. Farewell, my hearts : I will to my honest knight Mrs Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing in me! Falstaff, and drink canary with him. [Exit Host. Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade Ford. (Aside.] I think, I shall drink in pipe-wine first thee, there's something extraordinary in thee! Come, with him ; I'll make him dance.-Will you go,gentles? I cannot cog, and say, thou art this and that, like a All. Have with you, to see this monster. (Exeunt. many of these lisping hawthorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury SCENE III. – Aroom in Ford's house. in simple time; I cannot: but I love thee; none but Enter Mrs Ford and Mrs Page. thee; and thon deservest it. Mrs Ford. What, John! what, Robert ! Mrs Ford. Do not betray me, sir! I fear, you love Mrs Page. Counter-gate; which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln. Mrs Ford. Here, set it down! Mrs Ford. Well, heaven knows, how I love you; and Mrs Page. Give your men the charge; we must be you shall one day find it. brief. Fal. Keep in that mind ; I'll deserve it. Mrs Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John, and Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I Robert, be ready here hard by in the brew-house; and could not be in that mind. when I suddenly call you, come forth, and (without any Rob. Within.] Mistress Ford, mistress Ford! here's pause or staggering,) take this basket on your should- mistress Page at the door, sweating, and blowing, and ers: that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry looking wildly, and would needs speak with you preit among the whitsters in Datchet Mead, and there sently. empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Thames' Fal. She shall not see me; I will ensconce me behind Mrs Page. You will do it? side, the arras. Mrs Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack Mrs. Ford. Pray you, do so; she's a very tattling wono direction: be gone, and come when you are called. man. — (Falstaff hides himself. [Exeunt Servants. Enter Mistress Page and Robin. What's the matter ? how now? you done? Mrs Ford. How now, my eyas-musket? what news You’re shamed, you are overthrown, you are undone with you? for ever! Rob. My master sir John is come in at your back-door, Mrs Ford. What's the matter, good mistress Page? mistress Ford , and requests your company. Irs Page. O well-a-day, mistress Ford! having an Mrs Page. You little Jack-a-lent, have you been honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of true to us? suspicion ! Mrs Ford. Why, alas! 'what's the matter? tleman, that, he says, is here now in the house, by your [Exit Mrs Page. hope. coming with half Windsor at his heels, to search for Enter FALSTAFF. such a one. I come before to tell you; if you know Fal. llave I caught thee, my heavenly jewel? yourself clear, why I am glad of it: but if you have may heartti poruith her our serated ; I will take rowed reis age, direct icon: sed to urs shail.com *che, a all fod te tan moden at Falster is Out npon rod cheer a turn me away: ited to dig with herfi a a come, des friend here, convey, convey him out! Benot amazed;| Mrs Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, miscall all your senses to you ; defend your reputation, tress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the or bid farewell to your good life forever! water; and give him another hope, to betray him to Mrs Ford. What shall I do? — There is a gentleman, another punishment ? my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame, so Mrs Page. We'll do it; let him be sent for to-mormuch as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pound, row eight o'clock, to have amends. he were out of the house, Re-enter Fond, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans. Mrs Page. For shame, never stand you had rather, Ford. I cannot find him: may be the knave bragged and you had rather; your husband's here at hand, be- of that, he could not compass. think you of some conveyance: in the house you can- Mrs Page, Heard you that? not hide him.-0, how have you deceived me!---Look, Mrs Ford. Ay, ay, peace !-- You use me well, masHere is a basket; if he beofany reasonable stature, heter Ford, do you? may creep in here; and throw foullinen upon him, as Ford. Ay, I do so. if it were going to bucking: or, it is whiting-time, Mrs Ford. Heaven make you better than your send him by your two men to Datchet Mead. thoughts! Mrs. Ford. He's too big to go in there: what shall Ford. Amen. I do? Mrs Puge. You do yourself mighty wrong, master Ford. Mrs Page. What! sir John Falstaff! Are these your chambers, and in the collers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment ! Fal. I love thee, and none but thee; help me away! Caius. By gar, nor I too; dere is no bodies. let me creep in here! I'll never Page, Fie, fie, master Ford! are you not ashamed ? I would not have your distemper in this kind, for the honest a'omans, as I will desires among five thousand, Enter Ford, l'age, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans, come, walk in the park : Spray you, pardon me; I will Ford. Pray you, come near; if I suspect without hereafter make kuown to you, why I have done this.cause, why then make sport at me, then let me be your Come, wife;-come, mistress Page; I pray you, parjest: I deserve it. -- How now? whither bear you this? don me; pray heartily, pardon me! Serw. To thelaundress, forsooth. Page. Let's go in, gentlemen ; but, trust me, we'll Mrs Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my bear it? You were best meddle with buck-washing. house to breakfast; after, we'll a-birding together; Ford. Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck! I have a fine hawk forthe bush: shall it be so? Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck; Ford. Any thing. and of the season too; it shall appear.--[Exeunt Ser- Eva. If there is one, I shall make two in the company: vants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I have dreamed Caius. If there be one or two, I shall make-a de turd. 10-night; I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be Eva. In your teeth: for shame. my keys: ascend my chambers, search, seek, find out: Ford, Pray you go, master Page! l'il warrant we'll unkennelthe fox ! - Let me stop this Eva. I pray you usw, remembrauce to-morrow on the way first! – So, now uncape. lousy knave, mine host ! Page. Good master Ford, be contented: you wrong Caius. Dat is good; by gar, vit all my heart. yourselftoo much. Eva. A lousy kuave; to have his gibes, and his mockFord. True, master Page.--Up, gentlemen ; yon shall eries. see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen! (Exit. Eva. This is fery fantastical humours, and jealousies. SCENE IV.- A room in Page's house. Caius. By gar, 'tis no de fashion of France : it is not Enter Fenton and Mistress Åsne Page. jealous in France, Fent. I see, I cannot get thy father's love; Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen ; see the issue of Therefore, no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. his search! [Exeunt Evans, Page, and Caius. Anne, Alas ! how then? Mrs Page. Is tliere not a double excellency in this? Fent. Why, thou must be thyself. Mrs Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that He doth object, I am too great of birth; my husband is deceived, or sir John. And that, my state being gall'd with my expense, Mrs Page. What a taking was hein, when your hus- I seek to heal it only by his wealth: band asked who was in the basket! Besides these, other bars he lays before me, - I should love thee, but as a property. Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to come! Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value That now I aim at. (Exeunt. with you. cong, master e done this jointure. Anne. Gentle master Fenton. Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond' fool! Yet seck my father's love! still seek it, sir! Mrs Puge. Imean it not;I seek you a better husband. If opportunity and humblest suit Quick. That's 's my master, master doctor. Cannot attain it, why then,-Hark you hither, Anne. Alas, I had rather he set quick i' the earth, [Ther converse apart. And bowld to death with turnips. I will not be your friend, nor enemy: And as I find her, so am Iaflected; Till then, farewell, sir!-She must needs go in; Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress ! farewell, Nan! Quick. Hark ye: master Slender would speak a word Quick. This is my doing now;-Nay, said I, will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look Anne. I come to him. - This is my father's choice. or, master Fenton :--this is my doing. 0, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults Fent, I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a-year! Give my sweet Nan this ring! There's for thy pains. Aside. (Exit. fuick. And how does good master Fenton ? Pray. Quick. Now heaven send thee good fortune! A kind you, a word with you! heart he hath: a woman would run through fire and Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst water for such a kind heart. But yet, I would my masa father! ter had mistress Anne; or I would master Slender had Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne; - my uncle can her; or, in sooth, I would master Fenton had her: 1 tell you good jests of him :--pray you,uncle, tell mis- will do what I can for them all three; for so I have protress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out mised, and I'll be as good as my word; but speciously of a pen, good uucle. for master Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. sir John Falstall from my two mistresses; what a beast Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in am I to slack it? [Exit. SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPHI. Fal. Bardolph, I say, — Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. I'll have my brains ta'en out, and buttered, and give Slen. Now, good mistress Anne. them to a dog for a new year's gift. The rogues slightAnne. What is your will ? ed me into the river with as little remorse as they Slen. My will? 'od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest, would have drowned a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i' indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven ; I am the litter: and you may know by my size, thai I have a not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise. kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as decp Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with as hell, I should down. I had been drowned, but that me? the shore was shelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor; Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or no-! for the water swells a man; and what a thing should I thing with you: your father, and my uncle, have made have been, when I had been swelled! I should have motions; if'it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his been a mountain of nummy. dole! They can tell you how things go, better than I Re-enter BARDOLPH, with the wine. can: you may ask your father; here he comes. Bard. Here's mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with yon. Enter Lage, and Mistress Page, Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames snow-balls for pills to cool the reins. Call heriu! Enter Mrs QuickLY. Quick. By your leave; I cry you mercy: give your of sack finely: Bard. With eggs, sir? Fal. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage.-[Exit Bard.]—How now? Come, master Shallow; come, son Slender; in:- Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from misKnowing my mind, you wrong me, master l'enton. tress Ford. [Exeunt Page, Shal. and Slen. Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough. I was Quick. Speak to mistress Page! thrown into the ford : I have my belborhill of ford. Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her daughter fault: she does so take on with her men ; they mistook In such a righteous fashion as I do, their efection. Derforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manvers, Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's I must advance the colours of my love, promise. And not retire: let me have your good will! Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would a : Teet Var. a IV. Eve Ane yearn your heart to see it.Her husband goes this morn-lin that surge, like a horse-shoe; thiuk of that,--his- have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her Quick. I will tell her. husband is this morning gone a birding : I have receiFal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou? ved from her another embassy of meeting;'twixt eight Quick. Eight and nine, sir. and nine is the hour, master Brook. Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her. Ford. "Tis past eight already, sir. 1.0. Quick. Peace be with you, sir! [Exit. Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appointment, Fal. I marvel, I hear not of master Brook; he sent Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall me word to stay within: I like his money well. O, here know, how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crowned he comes. with your enjoying her: adien. You shall have her, Enter Fond. master Brook; master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. Ford. Bless you, sir ! (Exit. Fal. Now, master Brook? you cometo know, what Ford. Humph! ha! is this a vision ? is this a dream? hath passed between me and i'ord's wife? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake! awake, master Ford ! Ford. That, indeed, sir John, is my business. there's a hole made in your best coat, master Ford. This Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you ; I was at her tis to be married ! this 'tis to have linen and buck-bashouse the hour she appointed me. kets !--Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will Ford. And how sped you, sir? now take the lecher; Ire is at my house; he cannot Fal. Very ill-favouredly, master Brook. 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep Ford. How so, sir ? Did she change her determina- into a halfpenny purse, nor into a pepper-box; but,lest tion? the devil that guides him should aid him, I will search Fal. No, master Brook; but the peaking cornuto, her impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual 'larum yet to be what I would not, shall not make metame; if of jealousy, comes in the instant of our encoun- i have horns to makeone mad, let the proverb go with ter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested, and, as me, I'll be horn-mad. Erit. it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provoked and ACT instigated by his distemper, and, forsooth, to search his house for his wife's love. SCENEI.-The Street. Ford, Whiat, while you were there? Enter Mrs Page, Mrs QUICKIY, and WILLIAM. Fal. While I was there. Mrs Page. Is he at master Ford's already, thinks't Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find thou? / you? Quick. Sure he is by this, or will be presently; but Fal.You shall hear. As good luck would have it,comes truly, he is very courageous mad, about his throwing Ls in one mistress Page; gives intelligence of Ford's into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come sudapproach; and, by herinvention, and Ford's wife's dis- denly. traction, they conveyed me into a buck--basket. Mrs Page. I'll be with her by and by ; I'll but bring Wet Ford. A buck-basket! my young man here to school, Look, where his master Fal. By the lord, a buck-basket: rammed me in with comes; 'tis a playing-day, I see. foul shirts and smocks, socks,foul stockings and grea Enter Sir Hugh Evans, sy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rank- How now, sir Hugh? no school to-day? F est compound of villainous smell, that ever offended Eva. No; master Slender is let the boys leave to play. Quict. Blessing of his heart! Ford. And how long lay you there? Mrs Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says, my son proFal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I have fits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you, ask suffered to bring this woman to evil for your good. Be- him some questions in his accidence. ing thus crammed in the basket, a couple of Ford's Eva. Comehither, William ;hold up your head;come! knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their mistress, to Mrs Page. Come on, sirrah! hold up your head; aucarry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet-lane : swer your master, be not afraid ! they took me on their shoulders; met the jeeous Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns ? knave their master in the door,who asked them once or Will. Two. twice, what they had in their basket: I quaked for fear, Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one number lest the lunatic kuave would have searched it; but more; because they say, od's nouns. fale, ordaining he should be a cuekold, held his hand. Eva. Peace your tattlings! - What is fair, William? Well; on went he for a search, and away went I for Will. Pulcher. foul clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook : I Quick. Poulcats! there are fairer things than poulsuffered the pangs of three several deaths: first, an in-cats, sure. tolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten Eva. You are a very simplicity 'oman; I pray you, bell-wether; next, to be compassed, like a good bilbo, peace !-What is lapis, William? in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to Will. A stone. head; and then, to be stopped in, like a strong distilla- Eva. And what is a stone, William? tion, with stin clothes, that fretted in their own Will. A pebble. grease: think of that, - a man of my kidney, -- think Eva. No, itis lapis; I pray you, remember in your of that; that am as subject to heat as butter; a man of prain. continual dissolution and thaw ; it was a miratle to Will. Lapis. 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when Eva. That is good, William. What is he, William, I was more than half stewed in grease,like a Dutch dish, that does lend articles ? to be thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing hot, Will. Articles are borrowed ofthe pronoun; and be va 3 nostril. a that, -his that for my Leu is desper Aetna, as er thus. Her I have receij'twistelt anon. Eva. Ay. thisadan? master and ter Ford. Tak und buch-light atlam: se; he canse e cannot cred -box;ballant I will stand cannot avaid e metaa: roverb zo niti ESH thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, Mrs Ford. Why, does he talk of him? Mrs Page. Of none but lim; and swears, he was car- drawn him and the rest of their company from their Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion: Accusativo, hing, hang, hog. butlam glad, the knight is not here; now he shall see Mrs Page. Hard by; at street end; he will be here Mrs Page. Why, then you are utterly shamed, and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you?- Away Mrs Page. Peace! with him, away with him! better shame than murder. Eva. What is your genitive case plural, William ? Mrs Ford. Which way should he go? how should I Will. Genitive case ? bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again? Re-enter Falstaff. Fal. No, I'll come no more i' the basket: may I not Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! - go out, ere he come? never name her, child, if she be a whore. Mrs Page. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers Eva. For shame, 'oman! watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out; Quick. You doill to teach the child such words : he otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast make you here? enough of themselves;and to call horum:-fie upon you! Fal. What shall I do?---I'll creep up into the chimney. Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no under- Mrs Ford. There they always use to discharge their standings forthy cases, and the numbers of the gen- birding-pieces. Creep into the kilnhole! ders? Thou art as foolish christian creatures as I Fal. Where is it? would desires. Mrs Ford. He will seek there, on my word. Neither Mrs Page. Pr’ythee, hold thy peace! press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an Eva. Shew me now, William, some declensions of abstract for the remembrance of such places, and your pronouns. goes to them by his note. There is no hiding you in l'ill. Forsooth, I have forgot. the house. Eva. It is ki, kue, cod; if you forget yonr kies, your Fal. I'll go out then. kacs, and your cods,you inust be preeches. Go your Mrs Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you ways, and play, go! die, sir John. Unless you go out disguised.Mrs Page. Ile is a better scholar, than I thought he Mrs Ford. How might we disguise him? Mrs Page. Alas the day, I know not. There is no Eva. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, mistress woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he Page! might put on a hat, a mufller, and a kerchief, and so Mrs Page. Adien, good sir Ilugh! (Exit Sir Hugh.] escape. Get you home, boy !--Come,we stay too long.[Exeunt. Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremily, rather than a mischief. SCENE II.- Aroom in Ford's house. Mrs Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of BrentPinter IaLSTAFF and Mrs FORD). ford, has a gown above. Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my suf- Mrs Page. On my word, it will serve him; she's as big ferance; I see, you are obsequious in your love, and I as he is; and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muller profess requital to a hair's breadth: not only, mistress too. Runnp, sir John! Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all the accou- Mrs Ford. Go, go, sweet sir John! mistress Page and trement, complement, and ceremony of it. But are you I will look some linen for your head. sure of your husband now? Mrs Page. Quick, quick! we'll come dress you Mrs Ford. He's a birding, sweet sir Jolin. straight: pnt on the gown the while! [Exit Falstu: Mrs Page. [Within.] What hoa, gossip Ford ! what Mrs l'ord. I would, my husband would meet him in hoa! this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of BrentMrs Ford. Step into the chamber, sir John! ford; he swears, she's a witch, forbade her my house, (Exit Falstaff and hath threatened to beat hér. Enter Mrs Page. Mrs Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cud- Mrs Ford.But is my husband coming ? the basket too, howsoever lie hath had intelligence. as they did last time. again : he so takes on yonder with my husband; dress him like the witch of Brentford. Exit. peer-out! that any madness, I ever yet beheld, seem- Mrs Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot ed but tameness, civility, and patience, to this his misuse him enough. distemper, he is in now : I am glad, the fat knight is We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, not here. Wives may be merry, and yet honest too: 7 was. let's go lupes |