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bit of work in it, and I was in the atelier when a gem-cutter shaved away the top of the stone, and copied your head of Prosperine on it from a Sicilian coin. I can show you a coin of the same stamp in my collection."
And he showed me it, otherwise I might have remained incredulous. “These scarabs," he went on, " are from Birmingham, I know the glaze. That gold Egyptian ring, Queen Tara's do you say, is Coptic, Cairo is full of them. That head of CÆSAR is a copy from the one in the British Museum.".
“Why, it is rough with age,” I said.
“Ay, they've stuffed it down a turkey's crop, and it has got rubbed up in the gravel with which the ingenious bird assists the process of digestion. A man who could swallow that gem is a goose."
I am presenting my esteemed collection of ancient engraved stones to my nephew at school, who shows all the character of the collector. He may swop them for bats, or tarts, or he may learn wisdom from the misfortunes of his uncle.
IN THIS STYLE, SIX-AND-EIGHTPENCE. Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. (rising to cross-examine). Then you'assert that the golden dinner-service which we are inquiring about was in your possession on the evening of July 26th at half-past eight o'clock?
LEGAL IMPROVEMENTS. Plaintiff. I do.
ANOTHER SAVING. Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. And that when you went to take them out of the strong-box at 9:15 for your party they had disappeared ?
| DURING THE ADJOURNMENT, THEIR LORDSHIPS WILL ASSIST IN THE Plaintiff. Quite so.
REFRESHMENT DEPARTMENT. Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. Pardon my suggesting such a thing, but I
Thirsty Attorney. “NOT TOO MUCH FROTH ON, MY LUD!" am instructed to ask you whether, when you paid £800 to the ratecollector for arrears of rates on the very next day, you had not obtained that sum by selling a portion of this gold plate yourself ?
TO POLICE CONSTABLES SMEETH AND TAPPIN. The Judge. Really, Mr. BADGERER, this won't do at all. “Legal bullying” is a thing of the past, and I shall have to commit you for [In endeavouring to capture a gang of burglars at Greenwich, these two contempt if you make these unworthy suggestions to the Witness.
constables were dreadfully battered. But they kept up the pursuit until the Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. But, m'Lud, the whole point of the defence
ruffians were secured.] is that the Plaintiff himself sto— '
Your hand, Mr. TAPPIN, your hand, Mr. SMEETH: The Judge (hastily interposing). - Sh! You must not talk like To the men who protect us we offer no wreath. that. Remember that “the floor of the Court is not the same thing They face for our sakes all the rogues and the brutes, as the interior of a coal-barge."
Getting cracks from their bludgeons and kicks from their boots. Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. (sulkily). Very well. But I really don't They are battered and bruised, yet they never give in, know how I am to conduct my case if your Ludship intervenes to And at last by good luck they may manage to win. check me. (To Witness.) I can ask you this at any rate. Did you Then, their heads beaten in all through scorning to shirk, or did you not run up to Town by an early train the morning after Scarred and seamed they return without fuss to their work. the robbery? Plaintiff. Certainly I did. I went to see my tailor, in Bond Street.
O pair of good-plucked 'uns, ye heroes in blue, Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. And why did you, then, go all the way from
As modest as brave, let us give you your due. Bond Street to the City, eh?
Though we cannot do much, we'll do all that we can, Plaintiff (gravelled). My Lord, I must appeal for protection. The
Since our hearts throb with pride at the sight of a Man. question is a bullying one.
Mr. SMEETH you're a man, Mr. TAPPIN's another; The Judge. Oh, certainly! Counsel has no right to ask such Mr. Punch-pray permit him-henceforth is your brother. things. He ought to take the charitable view of your actions, and We are proud of you both, and we'll all of us cheer suppose that you went to the City for a mid-day chop, or because These Peelers from Greenwich who never knew fear. you wanted to look at St. Paul's, or something of that kind. We must really try and conduct our business as nobly as we can.
Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. (pleasantly). “Que Messieurs les assassins MORE BONES TO PICK WITH THE SCHOOL BOARD. commencent !” Then we will presume that your predilection for
WE see there has been some churlish cavilling in some quarters City chops is so great, that you went a couple of miles out of your because the School Management Committee of the London School way to get one, and that your reason for dropping in at the estab
Board passed a requisition in November last, sanctioning the purchase lishment of Messrs. BLANK, Goldsmiths, and offering them half-a-lofa
of an articulated skeleton for the Belleville Road School, at the very dozen dessert-plates
reasonable sum of £8 16s. Why make any bones about the matter? The Judge (interrupting). Oh, really, this is not at all —
What more ornamental and indeed indispensable article of schoolPlaintiff. Quite the reverse. I won't stay here to be insulted by formi
furniture than a human skeleton nearly six foot high? Still, should anybody!
[Exit hurriedly. Mr. Badgerer, Q.C. I am afraid the Police Officers who are wait
the past system of expenditure be continued in the future, Mr. Punch ing outside to arrest our friend who has just left the box will also be
would suggest that excellent and infinitely cheaper substitutes for
skeletons will be found in the persons of the rate-payers themselves. denounced as “legal bullies." But after all one can't cross-examine a rogue on rosewater principles. And if we Barristers sometimes do make things rather rough for innocent Witnesses, by dragging out CUPID'S TENNIS-COURTS. — Under the heading “Tennis in the unpleasant incidents in their careers, or suggesting some that never Riviera,” the Daily Telegraph recently gave us some important occurred, by so acting we provide a powerful inducement to people to news, which should largely influence the Matrimonial Market. The avoid having such unpleasant incidents to be dragged out. And if the names of Ladies and Gentlemen, both “singles” (a not strictly gram. fear of cross-examination prevents actions being brought, it thereby matical plural, by the way, but what's grammar in a game of also prevents would-be litigants ruining themselves in law expenses. Thirty to Love?) were given. There was, however, no mention of With submission, m'Lud, and if your Ludship pleases, I would say “ties" or of matches to come. that we “legal bullies” are public benefactors in disguise.
The Judge. There's something in what you say, Mr. BADGERER. A CORRESPONDENT SIGNING HIMSELF “MINCING LANE" WRITES, But the disguise need not be so complete as it is. I suppose it's a _"Sir,—The Saturday Revievo complained of Mr. TREE's gait as verdict for the Defendants ? With costs, yes. Gentlemen of the Hamlet, which,' said the Critic, reminds one too much of AGAG.' Jury, I can't sufficiently express my sense of the nobility of your Most cutting comparison for an actor sticking rigidly to the conduct in listening to the evidence as you have done—though, Shakspearian text! If there were interpolations in the text of Mr. of course, if you had not listened, I should have committed you all BEERBOHM TREE's own introduction, then indeed he might remind for contempt in double-quick time-and you will now return a them of A-gag ; that is, if he were continually a-gagging.-M. L.” verdict for the Defendants.
New BOOK.-Soon may be expected, A Guide to the Unknown “THE TRAVELLING COMPANIONS.”—No. XXVI. next week. Tongs, by the Author of A Handbook to Poker.