Hard-riding Individual (to Friend, whose Horse has refused with dire results). "HELLO! CHARLEY, OLD MAN, HOW ARE TURNIPS LOOKING DOWN IN THAT NEIGHBOURHOOD?" [She steps into the gondola; BOB raises his eyebrows in mute interro- ONLY FANCY! . IN the admirably-compiled columns of "This Morning's News," given in the Daily News, we read with interest a paragraph occasionally appearing, furnishing information as to prices current in the Provision Market. We have made arrangements to supply our readers with something of the same character, which cannot fail to be valued in the household. We hear of a curious incident in connection with the revival of Henry the Eighth at the Lyceum. On Saturday night, a gentleman who had witnessed the play from the Stalls and carefully sat it out, demanded his money back as he went out. He did so on the ground that he had always understood that Henry the Eighth was by SHAKSPEARE, and found it credibly asserted that that gentleman had no part in the authorship of the piece. Mr. BRAM STOKER, M.A., was called to the assistance of the box-keeper, and ably discussed the point. Whilst declining to commit himself to the admission that SHAKSPEARE had no hand in the work, he quoted authority which assigned the authorship to FLETCHER and MASSENGER; in which case, he ingeniously argued, the authorship being dual, the price of the Stalls ought to be doubled. Conversation taking this turn, the gentleman, whose name did not transpire, withdrew. Miss JANE COBDEN, ex-Alderman of the London County Council, who has long pluckily championed Woman's Rights, has now, according to an announcement in the papers, determined to assert her own, and get married. C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas-Aldermanic. A telegram from Berlin states that Dr. PFEIFFER, a son-in-law of and its infection in a bacillus, which, when seen under the microProfessor KocH, has succeeded in discovering the cause of influenza that can be done with this rod is to put it in pickle, and keep it there. scope, appears in the shape of a most minute rod. The best thing From numerous sources of information, we learn that prime English beef is underdone, which causes rather a run on mutton. Revenons, &c., is the watchword in many households. Poultry flies rather high for the time of year, and grouse is also up. Grice-why not? plural of mouse, mice-grice, we say, are growing more absent, and therefore dearer. Black game is not so darkly hued as it is Ir is satisfactory to know that, at the approaching revival of painted, and a few transactions in wild duck are reported. Lard is Hubando, the Brigand, the handkerchiefs used by the Brigands in hardening, as usual in frosty weather. Hares are not so mad as in their famous scene of contrition at the end of the Third Act, are March, still, on the approach of a passer-by, they go entirely of British manufacture. We understand that they are from off rapidly. Rabbits, especially Welsh ones, are now the looms of Messrs. PUFF AND RECLAME. excellent. As Christmas recedes, geese have stopped laying golden eggs. Turkey (in Europe, at least) is in high feather. Brill is now in brilliant condition; soles are right down to the ground, whilst eels begin to show themselves in pairs. Halibut is cheap, but A Pair of 'Eels. sackbut is scarce, and psaltery requires such prolonged soaking before it is fit for the table, that purchasers fight shy of anything but small parcels. As for plaice, a large dealer tells us he has been driven to the conclusion that there is "no plaice like home." In the First Act of the same piece, it will be remembered that the bridal party is captured whole by Hubando, disguised as a mendicant, in the recesses of one of the forests of the Abruzzi. The real pine-trees, which are to figure in the foreground of this striking scene, have been grown, with immense labour and expense, in the well-known nurseries of Messrs. WEEDEM AND POTTER at Ditchington. The mendicant's rags, it should be added, are from one of our most celebrated slop-shops in the Ratcliff Highway. Hist! What is that? Thought I heard a low grunt. Hope not, I'm sure, for I'm sick of styevoices [brunt; ARTHUR of those, has no doubt, borne the Now in a semi-relief he rejoices Pigs are fit only for styes and nose-ringing. Never let Irish ones run loose and root, Rather wish ARTHUR were less sweet on flinging Pearls before pigs; as well feed 'em on fruit. Hrumph! There, I thought so! Hrumph! hrumph! What a pest! Sure that big brute has his eye on my ladder. Has ARTHUR loosed him? He thinks he knows best, But a nasty spill now!-nothing well could be sadder Brutes always rub their broad backs and stiff bristles [lor! Against-anything that comes handy. Oh How the brute shoulders, and snorts, grunts and whistles! Off to the gutter, you big Irish boar! Not he! He nears me! It is ARTHUR'S pet. Light ladder this; would capsize in a jiffy. His bristles he'd scrape and his tusks he would whet Against it. I wish he were drowned in the Liffey! Whisht! Get away! He's so heavy and big. ladder he's playing the There! round the fooler. Ah! there's the rub. [Pig! PATRICK scumfish that TRIUMPH OF ART OVER NATURE. Serious Artist. "I THINK YOU KNEW THE MODEL FOR THIS FIGURE-POOR BEGGAR, DEAF AND DUMB." Light-hearted Friend. "I KNOW,-USED TO SIT AT CORNER OF STREET. DEAF AND DUME! BY JOVE, YOU'VE MADE A SPEAKING LIKENESS OF HIM! WONDERFUL!!" "THERE'S THE RUB!" (An Old Story with a New Application.) Champion Bill-Poster, loquitur: 66 BILL-STICKERS beware!" Ah! that's all very well, [ing. I'm Champion Bill-Poster! Even Brum Who flouted me once will acknowledge that My Bills are so goey, and fetching, and showy, A wondrously wise, if conventional, warn- Slap-slop-slidder-slosh! 66 In the paste-pot profession, all notices" scorning. A brush surreptitious, and Bills unofficial, No doubt, are a nuisance to people of taste, To Order offensive, to Law prejudicial, But who can object to my pot and my paste? "Tis time that this Poster were up! Slapdap-slosh! Пletters! phast," if you like. Bill-sticking like this is an Art, and no error. Bold letters, brave colour! A poster to strike, Admiration with some, and with some, perhaps, terror. I wish I quite knew that the former preponderate, That is, sufficiently. Mutterings I hear, I think it a telling one. Brave, Big, Blue But there, 'tis a Bill to admire, and to wonSome rivals about, but their programmes won't wash; [betters. Those Newcastle noodles must own us their der at. Why, after five seasons' success, should I fear? 44 UNASKED, the Tax-Collector wild Unasked, a Christmas-box to gain, Sweeps, lamplighters, and postmen come; Unasked-too often to remain The wife's mammas of most men come. Unasked, it looms-that ophicleide From Germany, with melodies Unasked, partakes my Christmas cheer, Unasked, my bills appear in shoals, "With compliments" from creditors; Unasked, in verse I send my soul's Throbs-with a stamp-to Editors. Unasked, that editorial pack Return my "throbs "in heavy, new, Crisp envelopes, unstamped, alack! While I defray the Revenue. MRS. RAM's nephew was reading aloud the prospectus of the Clerical, Medical, and General Life Assurance Society. She was much impressed by the idea of Clerical Assurance, and expressed herself greatly pleased at the Ven. Archdeacon FARRAR "But what being one of the Directors. puzzles me," observed the excellent lady, is a paragraph headed 'Disposal of the Surplice.' I know that, years ago, there was a surplice difficulty. But I thought that had been disposed of. Or," she added, brightening up, as if struck by a happy "does it mean solution of the difficulty, that the Clerical Assurance Society means to take in washing? Most useful if they do, and so paying." DEFINITION OF "CHAFF."-The husk of Wit. |