Good Girl's Guide to County Jail for the Bad Girl in Us All: Your Guide to the Incarcer NationThis good girl did everything right for years. So why has everything gone so wrong for this selfmade business woman, Realtor, and mother of two? On a hot day in August she’s arrested for car-jacking, assault with a deadly weapon, and robbery. She’s just landed in the Incarcer Nation without a passport. Like the millions of women who came before her, she wants to leave the land of chain link, and barbed wire behind her. Fifty-nine days later this good girl gone bad walks out a free woman-or so she thinks. This Good Girl gone BAD wants to help you: ● stay out of jail ● know how to use your rights ● understand the court process ● plea down your charges to minimize the risk of re-arrest ● understand how a conviction affects your future beyond bars Filled with good advice from BAD GIRLS on the inside, and criminal law attorneys who tell it like it is. Cover your assets with these legal forms (and others you didn’t know you needed). They’re easy to fill-in, and are ready for the Notary Public ● Power of Attorney ● Caregiver’s Authorization Affidavit ● Temporary Custody Order ● Letter to CPS Social Worker ● Consent for International Travel |
Contents
Why This Book? | 11 |
Chapter 1 Incarcer Nation Summer Vacation | 15 |
Chapter 2 Things I Wish Id Known About the LawBefore I Got Busted | 17 |
Chapter 3 Warranted Warrants | 21 |
Chapter 4 Its Not A History Its A Herstory | 23 |
Chapter 5 The Worlds Sadistic If Im The Statistic | 33 |
Chapter 6 Public Defenders vs Private Attorneys or Whose Side Are You on Anyway? | 37 |
Chapter 7 The Rights and Wrongs of Rights or You Have the Right to Remain Silent | 39 |
Chapter 19 Fun Games | 103 |
Chapter 20 Arts Crafts and Detox | 107 |
Chapter 21 Things Id Change If I Could or Dream on Little Sister | 109 |
Chapter 22 Hindsight Is 2020 or Is That 4040 with Half? | 113 |
Chapter 23 Advisory Notice | 117 |
Chapter 24 Annie Cant Get Her Gun Like Ever | 119 |
Chapter 25 Recidivism Is An Ism or Keep Coming Back | 123 |
Chapter 26 Pardon Me? | 125 |
Chapter 8 Red Tape | 57 |
Are You A BAD GIRL? Take the Test | 60 |
Chapter 9 Things I Hate About the Inside or Tell It Like It Is Little Sister | 63 |
Chapter 10 Every Innie Needs an Outie | 65 |
Chapter 11 Bail Me Out Betty | 67 |
Chapter 12 The Court Process | 71 |
Chapter 13 Deputy Rules Not to Be Mistaken for the Law | 81 |
Chapter 14 My Next Tattoo Will Be | 85 |
Chapter 15 Whats Your Hustle? or You Know She Wants Your Commissary Right? | 87 |
Chapter 16 BAD GIRLS Guide to INNER Beauty | 89 |
Chapter 17 Finding Your INNER Chef or Dont Stew in Your Own Juices | 93 |
Chapter 18 Hear My Prayer or God You Feel Me? | 95 |
Chapter 27 The Tail That Entails | 127 |
The BAD GIRLS Glossary of Terms | 130 |
Glossary of Legal Terms Penal Codes Used in This Book | 134 |
Acknowledgments | 139 |
True That or How to Save Your Ass with An Affidavit | 140 |
References | 157 |
Bibliography | 159 |
Suggested Reading | 161 |
Artography | 165 |
Excerpt from Good Girls Guide to Inner Peace for the GURU in Us All | 169 |
Excerpt from I Stand Corrected | 173 |
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Common terms and phrases
½ shank affidavit Al-Anon Amendment apply Arraignment arrest Arrowhead Towing Article asked assault BAD GIRL bail bond bunk California cards carjacking Certificate of Rehabilitation chakra Chapter charges child child(ren color Commissary Constitution conviction county jail court crime custody Declaration deputies district attorney dorm drug entitled Facto Parent federal felony firearms freedom gang Girl’s Guide going grounding chord guilty hearing Incarcer Nation incarceration inmate inside jury keep Lake Arrowhead lawyer Miranda Rights misdemeanor Narrative/Supplemental Ninth Amendment Notary Public offense Once Oranges outie parole passport number penal person Pinochle Plea Bargain points police pray prayer prison private attorney probation prosecution public defender punishment Rajan Maline release robbery San Bernardino County sentence shank razor someone speedy trial there's things vehicle victim violation wait walk warrant weapon wish I'd known women Zavala