BUT OZONEVILLE WAS

First Owner of Prize Doglet. "THESE SEASIDE PLACES DON'T APPEAL TO ME THE LEAST LITTLE BIT. RECOMMENDED TO GIVE TONE TO CHOO-CHOO'S NERVES. HE'S BEEN SUFFERING FROM SEVERE SHOCK THROUGH SEEING TWO FEARFUL MONGRELS HAVE A FIGHT IN THE PARK ONE DAY. YOUR LITTLE THINGY-THING 'S OFF COLOUR TOO?"

Second Owner of Prize Doglet. YES, A BIT RUN DOWN AFTER THE SEASON. SORRY, BUT I REALLY MUST HURRY AWAY. BAND'S BEGINNING TO PLAY SOMETHING OF BALFE'S, AND I NEVER ALLOW MING-MING TO HEAR BANAL DÉMODÉ MUSIC.'

SADIE AND THE LAVENDER MAN.

which was not quite so pretty as her
face, and sang the opening bars :-

chant through the streets of Old London, and our ancestors hearkened to it

SADIE and her "Pop" were doingWill you come buy my sweet lav-en-der?" before ever they thought of booking

66

66

passages by the Mayflower."

London exhaustively. On a certain dull August morning they were in a "I know all about it, Pop, and I've The lavender man, with his loud and taxi, sampling the suburbs, when Sadie been after that dear old cry ever since somewhat raucous chant, had apsu ldenly called a halt. we concluded to sample Greater London proached the stationary taxi by this "What's the trouble, baby-child?" this morning. It's one of the oldest time, and Sadie, after listening rapturasked "Pop," as the chauffeur brought of the old street cries; and the finest ously to him at close quarters, beckoned them up short. Nothing to see in this lavender comes from a place called him and proceeded to buy up his whole old place, anyway!" Mitcham, way down south-west of stock. "The whole crowd 'll want Maybe not, Pop, but something to London. For centuries it's been grown some," she said; "Momma and the heer," cried Sadie, her bright face alight there; and for centuries the same fam- boys, and Clytie and Edna-real, with joyous triumph and her finger ilies have cried it through the streets of genuine Mitcham lavender, bought of raised. Sure enough, in the distance London. The industry, by what I learn, a real, genuine, traditional, British sounded the remote, melancholy, mys- has been kept vurry much among one lavender man. Say, Pop," as a new terious cry of a lavender man. set of folks, like a good many British idea struck her, "what's the matter Sit up and take notice, Pop! That's institutions, and the dear old cry has with our taking this man back, right the last, the vurry last, of the old London been handed down from father to son; now, to the Savoy and getting a record Street Cries! There was haf a hundred that's what makes it so interesting and of the last of the old London street and more in old times, and now there's so romantic; and that's why it seems cries for my phonograph?" only the Sweet Lavender Cry-the to strike some old hidden chord some- "Best not take him back with us, vurry last survivor. Isn't it a lovely where in one's being. Guess this vurry Sadie," objected "Pop" in an aside.

44

MODEST BUT SHORT-SIGHTED BATHER FINDS THE STONE WITH WHICH HE HAD WEIGHTED HIS BATHING-CLOAK MUCH HEAVIER THAN HE HAD IMAGINED IT.

than him if we took him. Let him clean himself some and come to the Savoy later, if you want a record of his old cry. Seems a mighty dull specimen. Hasn't said a word yet."

"No; isn't that purfectly lovely? Such true British taciturnity. Dear, dull, silent, moss-grown folks they are."

fechan, Scotland, and Chelsea, London," Oh-that! Yus, lidy, 'e was
put in " Pop."
chuckin' it out cert'nly, but they
learns 'em that at the place where they
gets their stock o' lavender."

*

"Guess this vurry man's ancestors cried that lovely old cry through the streets of Old London, and our ancestors hearkened to it before ever they thought of booking passages by the Mayflower,' quoted "Pop" musingly, as the taxi sped away again on its suburb-sampling mission. "Another illusion knocked out, baby-child!"

"Well, now," went on Sadie, "that's what we want of you-a record of this splendid old chant, that's come down from father to son through the centuries. You'll come to the Savoy Hotel, Strand, and sing it good and hard into To the lavender man Sadie proceeded a phonograph--and you might add a to explain: "We want a record of that few particulars of the life at the lovely old cry of yours. We're from Mitcham lavender settlement and how the other side; but we know all about far back you can trace your descent lavender; how it's grown at a place from the original old lavender men, called Mitcham, and all you lavender and we'd give you seven dollars-or, men live there in a sort of little settle- say a pound and a haf, British money. "Don't rub it in, Pop!" pleaded ment to yourselves, just as your fathers Take it or leave it." Sadie; and then, with a sudden moveand grandfathers did before you; and "Scuse me, lidy," interrupted an ment, she threw all her recently-puryou've learned the dear old chant from expert in bottles and bones, who had chased lavender into the road. "Perishgeneration to generation, your father stopped pushing his barrow in order to ing old stuff! Reckon even that's teaching it to you and his father teach- listen, and now drew up, "but it ain't imported! And maybe there's no such ing it to him, and so on way back till no use arstin' that bloke nothin'-you place as Mitcham, anyway!" it's enough to give anyone brain fever won't get no change out of 'im. Lives to think of it! It's a purfectly purfectly in same 'ouse as me out Bednall Green sweet notion! And the fact that you way, 'e does, and 'e on'y landed 'ere don't answer anything I say to you is last week, and carn't speak nothin' but just right-shows what a true, genuine Yiddish-couldn't tip you a word of British lavender man you must be."

"Fine capacity for silence,' to quote

English, not if it was ever so!"

"But-but he was singing the old

"TYPHUS IN GLASGOW.
TWENTY-EIGHT CASES.
AILMENT WELL SPREAD."

These cheerful headlines appear in The
Glasgow News, not The British Medical

PRESIDENT WOODROW WILSON, U.S.A. " IF YOU DON'T TAKE CARE, I SHALL HAVE TO TREAT YOU THE SAME WAY AS EUROPE TREATS THE TURK."

MEXICO. "AND HOW'S THAT?"

PRESIDENT WOODROW WILSON. "WELL, I SHALL HAVE TO-TO GO ON WAGGING MY