LETTER XI.

GREAT was the goodness of God in bringing me to rest on his mercy, faithfulness, and love; but I could not expect to be kept always on the mount of joy; and I had almost forgotten that [ must go down again to meet my enemies, whose vigilance was as active as ever.

I had many little ones, who had ever been cared for in such a way, as not to be exceeded by any, and also other earthly concerns which demanded of me much attention; and, to the praise of Jesus, I may truly say, that at times I have enjoyed his sensible presence whilst in the occupation of my most arduous duties.

At other times, the great adversary has as it were made at me with mighty force to frighten me off my standing; yet he was less likely than before to succeed for any length of time, being rebuked by our great High Priest, and answered with, "Am not I as a brand plucked from the fire? Thou canst bring me into no trouble from

which Christ cannot relieve me.

His arm, O

Satan, is omnipotent, and I am not ignorant of thy devices."

Yet I do not say that I was always a match for him, for I had still a heart as deceitful as ever, prone to depart from, and grow languid in duty and love toward God; to my constant pain and

sorrow.

Our ministers of religion not being the most lively and spiritual in their ministrations; we now and then were favoured with visits from the neighbouring preachers, whom we always received with the utmost cordiality and pleasure; esteeming them as the excellent of the earth. One of the greatest favourites, as you know was the Rev. S. E. P, then residing at Truro. Having been requested to come over and baptize the child of a friend he arrived at our house a day or two before the Sabbath. Previously to his coming, my mind was continually ruminating on the feast I should enjoy at the ordinance of the Lord's supper, &c., which he was to administer; indeed I could hardly think of anything else, but the Lord was pleased in a sense to blight my high expectations.

Mr. P having been in company with the father of the child (Lieut. R. of the Royal Navy) and, from conversation, not being well satisfied with him, on coming into our house, expressed his displeasure in a manner that appeared to me very unfeeling, and which I felt most keenly; so that I was obliged to turn myself from him and burst into tears. In an instant these words were sounded into my ears, "Cease ye from man, whose breath is in his nostrils." I felt the conviction, and said "Yea, Lord, there is great need of it indeed." This I had no sooner done than Mr P

sent

to beg me to come to him, when he acknowledged his irritability, and hoped I should pass it over, and join them at the Lord's table on the morrow, which quite overcame me, and all was forgotten.

The Sabbath was much blessed to my soul; some fruit we also hoped there was from the word preached, and the baptism of the child; the poor mother was greatly awakened, and I trust lastingly impressed, with the necessity of obtaining the saving knowledge of Christ; into whose hands she soon after patiently and re

signedly yielded up her soul, when only about thirty years of age.

I mention this circumstance by way of showing you what I gained from it, viz., never after to fix so intently on any ordinances or teachings of man for the sustenance of my soul, knowing that all nurture, establishment, grace, and comfort, come from God alone, and that communion with him is neither confined to ordinances nor men. By looking too much at these we may lose a great deal of comfort, and certainly suffer some measure of disappointment at last. It was but a very short time after this, in reading Mr. Romaine's works, I found that the same passage had been brought to his mind on some occasion equally singular, and that he subsequently adopted it as a motto through life; and I may add, that I have ever since found it good to have recourse to the exhortation. The Lord has shown me that in himself alone, without the creature, is the fulness of all good things, to suit my every need; and, living upon this truth, I am careful for nothing; yet, at the same time, in everything make supplication to him with thanksgiving, according to his will; not that I ever lived

so closely to him as became me, nay, my heart was ever treacherous to a great degree, and darkened too frequently by unbelief, always the subject of much temptation, and foolishly given to reason with the adversary when clouds appeared; so that it has ever been a hard struggle with me to believe in the dark. Believing for present or temporal things was easy, because I had not been tried on that point, having been blessed with abundance of this world's good, and I was going to say I could always see a great difference between a tried and an untried faith, respecting both temporal and spiritual things. I used to say, "Oh! I shall never trouble myself about temporal things, or did I want them I should care little about them, were my faith established in Christ for heavenly things;" and, hearing some say, "I can trust God better with my soul than with my body," it seemed to me quite a paradox, because I always considered the first great matter for faith was the safety and welfare of the soul; for then I should be sure of the promise, "All things shall be added." However, though I knew nothing of it, my heavenly Father was a