those of happiness and gaiety are forgotten-Isabella, lost, was to be remembered for ever.

But these are recollections which unhinge me for detail. I have a blow to strike, and almost within this hour, for which every corporal and mental agent must be nerved. And my senses rush along in tide as furious and rapid as my fate! I cannot dwell, amid this whirl of mind and fancy, upon the measures which, in seven years, dispossessed me of L.70,000. I am not lamenting that which I have done. I began with a resolution to live while I did live. Uncertain of the next moment, the passing hour was all to me. What mattered it, since my course must cease, whether it ceased sooner or later; provided, while it lasted, I was in all things content? I scorned the confined views of men who, possessing means, submitted to let "I dare not" wait upon “ I would ;" and vowed when I put myself at the head of my fortune, that no expenditure of wealth, no exposure of person, should ever have weight to disappoint my in

clination.

Yet my estate lasted longer than, under such a resolution, might be expected. The rich, for the most part, either lavish their money without enjoying it, or, to maintain what is called a certain "state," suffer depend ants to lavish it for them. As it happened that I had no wish for commonplace distinctions, nor was very desirous of anything which money alone could buy, I escaped all those rapidly ruinous contests in which the longest purse is understood to carry the day. I saw something of the absurdities of fashion, but I entered very little into them. Curiosity, want of employment, and that natural desire which even the silliest man feels, to laugh at the follies of those about him, made me associate sometimes with fine gentlemen; but I never became a fine gentleman myself.

And yet it was amusing, in the way of chasse ennui, to glide along with the frequenters of Bond Street, and with the loungers at the opera; and to observe the excessive-the monstrous self-delusion of men, who had been born to ample means, and were not incumbered much with understanding. Their talk was such feather; and yet, even in what they uttered, they were generally mistaken.

If they were vicious, it was from thoughtlessness; if honest, from accident. Their conversation was so easy, and yet (to themselves) so entertaining. The jest so weak; the laugh so hilarious. Their belief, too, was so facile,-I did envy them that faculty! Not one of them ever doubted anything that he was at all interested in crediting. All about them was fudge; and yet they never seemed to be aware of it. Their Bond-Street dinners were not good. They would talk all day about the fancied merits of particular dishes; and yet at night be put off with such wine and cuisine as really was sad stuff, and could not have passed but upon men of fashion.

But the most striking feature in their characters was their utter want of self-respect. I have seen a young man literally begging for half-crowns, who but a few months before had driven his curricle, and been distinguished for his insolence. Another would borrow small sums, and never pay them, until not even a servant was left who would lend him a shilling. Others would endure to be insulted by their tradesmen ;-to be poisoned at coffee-houses where they could not pay their bills;—to truck and barter their clothes and valuables for ready money with waiters at hotels;-and all this to obtain supplies which in reality they did not want, and because they knew no mode of dissipating time, but in dissipating a certain quantity of specie.

These were the people who went to fights-to races ;-wore large hats, and garments of peculiar cut; with little of taste or fancy in their devices; and, of true conception of splendour or of elegance, none.

Then their hangers on were a set of men fit to be classed per se in history. Fellows culled from all ranks and stations, but all rascals alike—their avocations various, but all infamous. There were among them cashiered officers, or men who had left the army to avoid that infliction; fraudulent waiters, and markers from billiard tables; shopkeepers' sons, black-leg attorneys, and now and then the broken down heir of a respectable name and family.

I recollect one or two of these fellows who were characters for posterity in their way. There was one Mr M'Grath in particular, a native of the

sister kingdom, with whose history in full it fell to my lot to be acquainted. I traced him back to his leaving Dublin, where he had acted as collecting clerk to a distiller; and from whence, on account of some trifling embezzlements, he had come over to England with about twenty pounds in his pocket. This man on his arrival had not a friend nor a connection to back him; his address was bad; his person not prepossessing; and he had an unconquerable aversion to anything like honest labour; but he began with a little, and, by industry, rose.

His first step in London was into a second floor lodging in Jermyn Street, Piccadilly, for he laid himself out as an appendage to men of fortune from the beginning. The woman of the house dwelt herself in a single apart ment; waited upon her guests as a servant; and fleeced them, because her house was "in a situation!"

This woman had a hump-backed daughter, who stood a grade above her mother. I saw her afterwards in a workhouse, to which I went for the purpose of ascertaining the truth of M'Grath's history. She did the bet ter kind of labour, while her mother attended to the drudgery: and, by parsimony, and great exertion, they had acquired near L.2000.

M'Grath's second step in life, ha ving heard of the L.2,000, was to marry his landlady's humpbacked daughter; and, with part of the money, he bought a commission in the Guards. Here he remained but a short time, his real character being discovered. Within twelve months he deserted his newly acquired wife. The furniture of the mother's house was next seized for his debts. The two miserable women then came for support upon the parish; and, with the wreck of the L.2000, M'Grath commenced gentle

man.

And, with the appointments of respectable station about him, this fellow had gone on for more than twenty years when by accident I met with him; the most handy, and universally applicable creature in the world. Latterly he had found it convenient to call himself a conveyancer; and untook to act as an agent on all occasions. He was a money lender ;-an assistant in borrowing money, or in investing it. He bought or sold a horse; could obtain patronage (upon

a deposit) for a curacy or a colonel's commission. Then he dealt among the bankrupts; could indorse a bill; -get it cashed. He would arrange a provision for a distressed lady ;-wait upon a betrayer at the hazard of being kicked down stairs ;-threaten law proceedings;-introduce a new face; -in short, wherever there was distress and helplessness, there, as if by instinct, you were sure to find M', Grath.

I met with the gentleman under circumstances (for him) peculiarly unlucky. He had been settling with a certain peer the terms upon which he was to be freed from the importunity of a female, from whom importunity ought not to have been necessary. I chanced, shortly afterwards, to fall in with the lady; and (she really had been unfortunate) to become interested for her. M'Grath in this case had gone to work with less than his usual prudence. He had received at the end of his negotiation L.500 from the nobleman in question, upon a written promise that the applicant should trouble him no more; of which L.500 he accounted for L.200 in cash, giving his own note to his client as security for the rest. This was a safe L.300 gained; but M'Grath was not content. Distress within a short time obliged the same woman to dispose of some jewels and other personal property which she possessed; and this property, with a fatuity apparently unaccountable, even after what had happened-she employed M'Grath to find a purchaser for. The monstrous apparent folly of such an act, made me doubt the truth of the whole story when I heard it. In heaven's name, I asked, why had she trusted such a fellow as M'Grath even in the first transaction?" And who but such a man," was the answer, "would have undertaken such an office ?"

M'Grath, however, probably had his necessities as well as other people; for, on this occasion, he took a mea sure of very questionable safety. Relying upon the lady's dread of public exposure, he pawned the whole of her jewels, and converted the money to his own use. I caused him merely to be arrested, although his offence was, I believe, a criminal one; and eventually he was liberated from prison by the Insolvent act; for he had judged rightly so far-the exposure of a pro

secution could not be borne; but, by a singular coincidence, I had afterwards to kick him out of my own house, on his calling for the particulars (he did not know upon whom) of a next presentation to a living advertised for sale.

Women, however, of course, among the true spendthrifts of my acquaintance, were the principal objects of discourse and of attention. But their arrangements even upon this point were of so odd a description, that the ridiculous overpowers every other feeling when I think of them. I forget the man's name who told a certain king that there was no royal road to the knowledge of mathematics. I doubt he would have failed to impress my acquaintances with that truth. On achete le tout, seemed to be their conviction. One loved, in order that he might be affirmed a person in the world. Another, for the fashion of a particular lady. A third, because a mistress was a good point to shew "style" in. And a fourth, because it was necessary to have one. The nonchalance of this last set was the most exquisite thing in nature. They affected (and I believe felt) a perfect indifference towards their protegées; introduced all their acquaintance, without a jot of jealousy, at their houses; and I saw a letter from a peer to a French woman, who transacted love affairs for him, stating that he meant to form an attachment of some duration when he came to town; and describing (as to person) the sort of lady upon whom he should wish to fix his affections.

The nature of such connections may well be imagined. No regard was ever dreamed of for the feelings of the women; the men were, of course, appreciated and abused. It was a sacrifice on both sides; but the sacrifice of the man was merely a sacrifice of money, of which he did not know the value; and that sacrifice neither obtained nor deserved any gratitude; for the same individual who would ruin himself in keeping a splendid etat for his mistress, would lavish nothing upon her that did not redound to his own "fashionable" notoriety.

For myself, if I did not enter into the spirit of what was called ton, it did not arise from any want of general good reception. As soon as it was found that I cared about no coterie, all cute

ries were open to me. But, if it was much to be one of the few, I thought it would be even more to stand alone. And therefore, although I kept fine horses, I did not race them to death. I had a handsomely furnished house; but I refused to have a taste; that is to say, I did not lie awake fourteen nights together, imagining a new scroll pattern for the edge of a sofa; nor decide, (still in doubt,) after six weeks perplexity, which was the properest tint of two-and-twenty for the lining of a window-curtain. In short, my private arrangements were no way guided by ambitious feeling; whether I rode, drove, drank, or dressed, I did the act merely because it was an act gratifying to myself, not because it had been done by Lord Such-a-one, or was to be done by Mr So-and-so; and, although my fortune was small, compared with the fortunes of some of my companions, yet, as it mattered not how soon the whole was expend- . ed, I generally seemed, upon emergency, to be the richest man of the circle I was moving in.

And a race for some to envy has my career been to this moment! If the last few months have shewn note of coming evil, that evil could not terrify me when I was prepared to elude it. If I have not enjoyed, in the possession of riches, that absolute conviction, (my solace under poverty,) that what tribute I did receive was paid entirely to myself, yet the caution and experience which poverty taught me has preserved me from gross and degrading imposition. Let me keep up my spirits, even with egotism, in a moment like this! I have not been quite an object to court imposition. The same faculties and powers, which availed me when I was without a guinea, continued at my command throughout my high fortune. I have not been, as an old man, wasting property which I could not spend; I have not been a wretched pretender, by purchase, to place and to circumstance, to which desert gave me no title; I have not been the thing that I am, to die, because I will not be.

Gold is worth something, inasmuch as it gives certain requisites for continued enjoyment, which can be ob tained from no other source. Apart from all pretension to severe moral principle, I had ever this feeling, in its fullest extent that the man was

thrice a villain, a wretch thrice unfit to live, who could plunge any woman that trusted him into poverty, into disgrace. To this principle, I would admit neither of exception nor evasion. I do not say that every man can command his passions; but every man can meet the consequences of them. Again and again, in my days of necessity, did I fly from connexions which seemed to indicate such termination. Money, however, as society is constituted, can do much-my subsequent wealth relieved me from all obstacles.

Yet, let me redeem myself in one point I shall not attempt it in many my power was in no instance (as I believe) employed cruelly. For my fellow men, I had little consideration. I knew them merciless-I had felt them so. Still, upon man, if I recollect well, I never wantonly inflicted pain; and in no one instance-as Heaven shall judge me!-did I ever sacrifice the feelings of a woman.

A portion of my wealth was given to relieve my father from debts which he had incurred in expectation of the whole. Another portion, I trust, will have placed in security beings whose happiness and safety form my latest wish on earth. A third portion, and a large one, has been consumed in idle dissipation; but, if I have often thrown away a hundred guineas, I have sometimes given away ten.

The whole, however, at last, is gone. Parks, lordships, manors, mansionsnot a property is left. As my object was always rather pleasure than parade, this change in my circumstances is little known to the world. I am writing-and I shall die so-in elegant apartments; with liveried servants, splendid furniture-all the paraphernalia of luxury about me. The whole is disposed of, and the produce consumed. To-morrow gives the new owner possession. A hundred persons make account to nod to me to-morrow. I have, for to-morrow, four invitations to dinner. I shall die to-night.

Let me not be charged with flying this world, because I fear to meet the loss of fortune. Give me back the years that I have spent ; and I can deem lightly of the money. But my place-my station among my fellow men?-It totters; it trembles. Youth, hope, and confidence-these are past;

and the treasures of the unfathomed ocean could not buy them back.

Life of life spirit of enjoyment→ to what has it not fallen! Does it still spring in the heart, like the wild flower in the field-the native produce of a vigorous soil, which asks no tillage, defies eradication, and rears its head alike amid the zephyr and the storm? No; it is this no longer. It is an exotic now a candle-light flower -the sensitive plant with the hue of the rose; love is its sunshine-wine the dew that cherishes it; it blossoms beneath the ray of the evening star, and blooms in the illuminated garden at midnight; but, in the cool breeze of morning, it droops and it withers; and day, which brings life to all else, destroys it for ever.

Then, if I had the Indies still in my grasp, would I endure to descend in the scale of creation? Would I join the class of respectable old men; and sit spectator of a mellay which I am no longer able to engage in? Would I choose the more disgusting course of some I see around me; and let the vices of manhood degenerate into the weaknesses of age? Would I struggle to maintain a field in which victory is past my hope; dispute a palm which, of necessity, must be wrested from my hand? Would I endure to have men, whom I have been accustomed to see as children, push me insolently from the stage of life, and seize the post which I have occupied ?

If I could not bear this, still less could I endure the probable, the inevitable consequences of living to extreme old age. To be, if not distasteful to my own depraved and doting sense, conscious of being distasteful to all the world beside! To die worn out with pains and aches! Helpless in body-feebler still in mind! The tottering victim of decrepitude and idiotcy, cowering from that fate which by no effort I can avoid!

I will not come to this. I will not make a shirking, ignominious end of life, when I have the power, within myself, to die as may become a man. To this hour I have had strength to keep my station in the world. In a few moments it would be gone-but I shall go before it. And what do I lose by thus grappling with my fate? A few years at most of uncertainty or uneasiness. That man may die to