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in the first place, no Catholic of common sense refuses to laugh at the priestly maneuvre, which is only believed in by people whose cast of intellect is the same as that of the votaries of Joanna Southcote--and the Orangeman miracle is nothing more or less than a bam devised by myself as a set-off against High and Low. I put it in the Evening Mail, to tickle the fancy of the Julythe-firsters, and if it was swallowed as a miracle by anybody with less brickdust in his head than this Persian Magus of yours, may I be hacked up into minced meat for a luncheon for Barry Cornwall.
LETTERS OF TIMOTHY TICKLER, ESQ. TO EMINENT LITERARY CHARACTERS,
To Christopher North, Esq.
followed by a single bumper of that old I AM exceedingly obliged by your sherry you remember admiring so attention in sending me so many new much last time you did me the hobooks to look at. At this time of the nour of passing a week here-but I year, anything new is precious, and shan't describe the dinner, though, as my only difficulty is, how I am to you once remarked, even if I were make any fitting return for the plea- writing a Tragedy, I could scarcely sure your kindness has afforded me. avoid something of the sort. Suppose During the winter months I don't it finished-suppose my old man to care if I never see a single Periodical have uncorked the long necker, and but your own and the Quarterly, said, like our fat friend, “ There !" which I certainly can at no time do “ with an air !” The log is pokedwithout—but now the case is altered, your parcel is produced and I am quoth Plowden. I come in quite fag- happy for the evening. ged from the fields ; for, like my wor- Your last Number was a super-exthy coeval the Chancellor,* I take my cellent one—by far the best you have gun regularly as the clock strikes nine had for some months. It must have every morning, and seldom come home cut out its rivals of " the first of the again until it is just time for dressing. new moon” without difficulty-and On go the long white lamb’s-wool yet, since I have seen them, my good stockings and the nankeen breeches— fellow, I must say, they almost all of the buff waistcoat, and uniform coat them contained some extremely good of the Ambrosian-for even here I articles. The London was, I think, disdain to dine without sporting your better, on the whole, than the New claret-colour and the George Buchan- Monthly-although that last may well an button. On go, I say, these ele- be proud of Campbell's fine verses. gant paraphernalia ; and down goes “ The last man”—by far the best spethe hotch-potch. The hotch-potch is cimen of his muse since the Farewell
* “ The Lord Chancellor possesses strength and activity equal to any man of his age. His Lordship is in his seventy-fourth year. During his residence at En. combe, his seat in Dorsetshire, his Lordship breakfasts regularly at eight, and goes shooting (as soon as the season commences) at nine-a sport to which his Lordship is much attached, and is allowed to be as good a shot as any nobleman or gentleman in the country. His Lordship walks over so much ground in the course of the day, that his gamekeeper is frequently knocked up."- Morning Paper.
to Kemble-but inferior certainly to both him and Coleridge in the good that." Horace Smith is a very plea- old time. I was sorry to see my friend sant contributor to the New Monthly, Lamb defending Sir Philip Sydney and his brother James too, albeit a fat against Southampton Row ; Lamb is man, is a witty. They both shine in a fine creature, but he should look to a certain light and airy, though far himself. By the way, Mullion says from unaffected or natural vein of the Cockneys have lately been abusing song-writing. Campbell should get you for your treatment of Lamb. shot of Pygmalion. His Table-talk Good Heavens ! what does this fatuiabout “ the old artists” is excessively ty mean? You never said one syllable worthy of him, and unworthy of Tom. against him since he was born; on What business has he to make Col- the contrary, it was you, you only, bourn or Campbell, no matter which, who first rendered his existence known pay him over again for whole pages beyond the limits of Cockaigne. Your clipped out of his own former publica- treatment of him, forsooth! If they tions ? The whole of the account of had talked of the Edinburgh Review's the late Mr Cosway was printed by treatment of him, there had been Hazlitt in the very same words, long some meaning in it. Jeffrey quizzed ago-whether in a volume or a periodi- his “ John Woodville," and said it cal, I cannot exactly charge my memo- was the “ washiest of all the washiry. And what business has a man like nesses of the Lake School.” Jeffrey Campbell to allow paragraphs about said Lamb was a mere bleater, and Í Mrs Cosway, to appear in his book- know not how many contumelies beeven if they had not appeared before? sides. You, in yourinimitable" Hour's The whole affair is most grossly inde- Tete-a-tete,"shewed and proved“John licate The feverish dread of person- Woodville” to be a noble, though an alities, which had hitherto graced, or imperfect work of genius; and now disgraced, Tom's Magazine, has in- mark the changes of the world : we deed deserted him this Number with have Jeffrey suffering Hazlitt to puff a vengeance. His description of that Eliu-an excellent thing assuredly, but charlatan Irving, is as bad as John no more equal to the John Woodville, Bull's; and then to see how Fuseli is than that is equal to the “ Tete-ashewn up!+ I detest these “ flickering tete”-as something quite divine jests on personal defects." A friend merely because it appeared partly in of mine wrote me t'other day, that he a Magazine for which H. himself had seen “ Billy Hazlitt and Count writes, and the mention of it gave Tims at Fonthill, busy writing puffs the ex-dauber an opportunity of ina for Harry Phillips of Bond Street.” I troducing some balaam about his own take it for granted the most asinine doxies-no, not his doxies, but his account of Winchester is another re- “ paradoxes.” Lamb, in fact, owes sult of this not new escursus of the his respectable existence entirely to most noble “Victoire Vicomte de So- you-But whither am I wandering? ligny."
The Edinburgh Review, as we all The London is, as I said, better. know, praises neither a Lamb nor a The Sea Roamer is very well in its Hog, nor any other musical animal, way; the Essay on Walking Stewart until it has got an answer to the great by De Quincey still more to my taste question, but what pleased me best of all, was
“ Cusum pecus?" to see De Q. writing himself
The Annals of Sporting turn out, as opium-eater.” He ought to take to usual, an amusing Number. I am onhis pipe, as indeed I have often told ly sorry to see the amiable Editor left
• Yes. We should like to see any poet produce many things equal to
“ Fair as some classic dome,
And tell its height in Heaven." (C. N.) + I have such a regard for my old friend Tom, that I have addressed a letter to him on this subject, and I send you a copy of it.-T. T. VOL. XIV.
to himself so far as to introduce songs kin of wasps in a bottle, all sticking now and then. His songs are really to each other-heads and tails-rumps miserable-I am sure the best of them glued with treacle and vinegar, wax would have no chance to be heard to and pus--helpless, hopeless, stingless, an end, even at dhe Castle-tavern, wingless, springless-utterly abandon
amang the wee sma' hours ayont ed of air-choked and choking-muthe twall.” A man of so much gump- tually entangling and entangled—and tion as this Editor, should know and mutually disgusting and disgustedfeel where he is strong. Tip him a the last blistering ferment of incarnate hint that you have given up leaping- filth working itself into one mass of matches since the RHEUMATIZ. Send oblivion in one bruised and battered him a copy of Hunt's Choice-By the sprawl of swipes and venom. way, you forgot, surely, when inditing Hah! am I come to thee at last? your very tragical lecture on that pro- Well, and, come to thee when I will, duct of Cockneydom, that Leigh Hunt, the sight of thy fist does me good! in one of his Literary Pocket Books, thou twenty times turn-coat—thou mentions fox-hunting among the“ di- most wavering of weathercocks-thou versions for JUNE!!!” This is the boldest of bullies—thou rudest of ragachap that is now for “hunting the fox, muffins—thou most downright of doubut not much, lest he should fall !"- ble-dealers—thou hero of humbugGood, very good.”
thou prince of libellers, and King of So the Liberal, No. IV., is the Lie Kensington - I love thee still-thou beral, No. Last! No doubt your dear diabolical deceiver-I cling to thee London correspondents will give you still-thou art still Cobbett! Semthe lights and shadows of the trans- per idem ! Et Cobbett, Er Diabolus ! action from which this great event To speak rationally-I am one of proceeds. I foresaw from the beginning the few, the very few people, who nethat the alliance could not hold long ver put the least faith in Cobbett, and ---and as for the Morning Chronicle's never ceased to be a reader of his wristory about Lord Byron's having tings. Of late he has been comparative“ used his coadjutors ill," &c. &c. ly speaking, a forgotten man, and it is I believe in that as much as I always not difficult to account for this. Hadid the liberality and decorum of ving utterly ruined himself by his
Pirie's progeny. Lord Byron is well behaviour at the time when he left * known to have his faults, but I never this country for Americahe has in
heard it hinted until now, that stin- vain striven to recover himself ever giness was among their number. No since by a series of, I fear not to doubt, he was soon disgusted with say, the most masterly exertions such a pack-of course he was, and through which his great talents have he sent them to the right-about when at any period sustained him. He it so pleased him. Why not?
wrote a letter to Sir Francis BurThe fact is, that “the Liberal” did dett, telling Sir F., to whom he owed not sell at all the Hunts went on al- a considerable sum of money, that he ways hoping that Lord B.'s name might would not pay that money on setting get up again, and things mend—but it off for America--not because he could went down-down-down ; and the not pay it, no—but because he could moment the blow-up with him took not pay it without some inconveniplace, they saw there was no hope. ence to himself, and because, if I reAll is up now; all the fine dreams of member the thing correctly, he did not floating are over. They are gone, clean conceive himself obliged to pay any gone; I could joke, but the situation of DEBT to A SUBJECT OF ENGLAND, in conthese fellows is really almost too sore sequence of the way in which he had to be a fit subject of jocular reflection. been treated by the ENGLISH GOVERNTheir hum, to be sure, is awfully sub- MENT.* Sir Francis's answer did him dued. They remind me of a mutch- great honour. It was just what a
We give these edifying letters from the Annual Register. They ought not to be forgotten-whatever else may be.
• "To SIR FRANCIS BURDETT, Bart.
“North Hampstead, Long Island, June 20, 1817. “Sir, I inclose you the copy of a letter to Mr Tipper, which I beg you to have the goodness to read, and to consider the contents of it (as far as they relate to the liquidation of my debts generally) as addressed to yourself. In addition you will be pleased to understand, that, as to the debt due to you,
gentleman of his rank ought to have the effect. The Radical Baronet exanswered to such a person, in such a tinguished for ever his Plebeian brosituation—nothing could be more cool ther luminary since that unfortunate than the scorn-more annihilating than day, William Cobbett has never held
no pains shall be spared by me to obtain the means of paying it as soon as possible; and I beg that you will furnish Mr White, my attorney, with your charge against me, including interest, that he may transmit it to me.
“I now transmit to Mr White, Wright's note of hand. It must be indorsed by you before I can proceed against Wright. This rascal always contended that he borrowed the money on his own account. Your word was quite sufficient to prove the contrary; and though
no part of it was ever made use of for me, and though the arbitrator determined against my being at all responsible, I thought myself, and still think mysell, bound to pay you, you putting me in a condition to recover the money from him, which you can at once do by indorsing the note of hand. I am well aware the grounds of complaint and reproach to which debtors always expose themselves, and I am not vain enough to expect to escape consequences to which all others are liable ; but if I finally pay to the last farthing, those grounds will be all swept away, and as I am in no doubt of being able, in a short space of time, to pay every one fully, I anticipate with great satisfaction the day of my deliverance from this sort of thraldom.mi am, Sir, your most obedient and most humble servant,
“ Wm. COBBETT. « To MR TIPPER.
“North Hampstead, Long Island, Nov. 20. 1817. “Mr Dear Sir,-First let me acknowledge my deep sense of the kind manner in which you have uniformly spoken to Mrs Cobbett with regard to me; and then, without further waste of that time of which I have so little to spare, let me come to business, and let me lay down, before I proceed to our own particular affair, some principles which I hold to be just to my conduct towards my creditors in general.
“ If there be any man who can pretend, for one moment, that inine is an ordinary case, and that, not having enough to pay everybody, I ought to be regarded as an insolvent debtor, in the usual acceptation of the words; and if he does this after being apprized that the whole force of an infamous tyranny was embodied into the shape of despotic ordinances, intended for the sole purpose of taking from me the real, and certain, and increasing means of paying off every debt and mortgage in two years ;if there be any man whose prosperity
and whose means of profitably employing his own industry have remained wholly untouched and unaffected by these despotic and sudden acts of the Government, and who is yet so insensible to all feelings of humanity, as well as so willingly blind to every principle of either moral or political justice;-if there be any man who, wholly absorbed in his attachment to his own immediate interest, is ready to cast blame on a debtor, who has had his means of paying cut off by an operation as decisive as that of an earthquake, which should sink into eternal nothing his lands, his houses, and his goods ;-if there be any man, who, if he had been a creditor of Job, would have insisted that that celebrated object of malignant devils' wrath, which had swept away his flocks, his herds, his sons, and his daughters, was an insolvent debtor and a bankrupt, and ought to have been considered as such, spoken of as such, and as such proceeded against ; if there be any such man as this, to whom I owe anything, to such man I first say, that I despise him from the bottom of my soul; and then I say, that if he dare meet me before the world in open and written charge, I pledge inyself to cover him with as much shame and infamy as that world can be brought to deigu to bestow upon so contemptible a being. For such occasions as the one here supposed, if such occasion should ever occur, I reserve the arguments and conclusion which the subject would naturally suggest. To you, I trust, no such arguments are necessary, and therefore I will now proceed to state explicitly my intentions with regard to what I shall endeavour to do in the way of paying off debts. I hold it to be perfectly just that I should never, in any way whatever, give up one single farthing of my future earnings to the payment of any debt in England.
“When the society is too weak or unwilling to defend the property, whether mental or of a more ordinary and vulgar species, and where there is not the will or the power in the society to yield him protection, he becomes clearly absolved of all his engagements of every sort, to that society; because in every bargain of every kind it is understood that both the parties are to continue to enjoy the protection of the laws of property.
“ But from the great desire which I have, not only to return to my native country, but also to prevent the infamous acts levelled against me from injuring those persons with whom I have pecuniary engagements, and some of whom have become my creditors from feelings of friendship and a desire to serve me, I eagerly waive all claim to this principle, and I shall neglect no means within my power to pay and satisfy every demand, as far as that can be done consistently with that duty which calls on me to take care that my family have the means of fairly exerting their industry, and of leading that sort of life to which they have a just claim.
" It is clear, however, that to do anything in the way of paying off, must be a work of some little time. I place great dependance on the produce of some literary labours
of great and general utility : and it is of these that I am now about more particularly to speak, and to make you, sir, a distinct proposition.
First, I must beg you to read in a Register, which I now send home, a letter to a French scoundrel, whom the boroughmongers of England, by a robbery
of us for the restoration of the Bourbons, have replaced in his title of Count.
"When you have read that letter, you will see a part of my designs, as to my present endeavours to pay my debts. The Maitre Anglois' has long been the sole work of this kind in vogue on the continent of Europe, in England, and in America. It was the only book of the sort admiited into the Pry. tanean Schools of Buonaparte, where it was adopted by a direct ordinance.
"You will see that it is sent from France to England, and in this country it is imported from France. Both editions (separate and coeval) are sold at New York, and in all the towns here. I have
always been afraid to look into this book, from a consciousness of its imperfections, owing to the circumstance of haste under which it was originally written.
• You know as well as any man what the probable extent of sale and durable profit of the exclusive right to print such a book are. I am now engaged in making this book quite complete, under the title of The English Master, by William Cobbett, corrected, improved, and greatly enlarged, by the author himself. If you understand French enough to read it with a perfect understanding of its meaning, you will, if you read this
book, easily see the causes of its great celebrity. * Its clearness, its simplicity,
its wonderful aptitude to its purposes, its engaging and convincing properties, make it so unlike all the offspring of pedantry, that it is no wonder that it should have made its way in general esteem. I will make the new edition supplant
all the old ones immediately; and to you I propose to confide the care of securing the copyright both in England and France. A second work, and one of still more importance as a source of profit, is also now under hand, namely, “The
up his head as he had been used to He quitted it. He remained for do. He had undeceived every one many months absent. He returned, that was capable of being undeceived and he has now for several years been at all--and it was high time he should a resident at Kensington. Both while quit England.
in America and since his return, he
French Master; or a Grammar to teach French to English Persons, by William Cobbett.' You will easily see, that if I could, 22 years ago, actually write a book in the French language to French persons, how able I must be to write a book in the English language to teach French. Indeed, my knowledge of the whole matter is so complete, that the thing, complicated and abstract as it is in its nature, is as easy to me as it is for me to walk or sit. This work, I will pledge my existence, will sweep away very speedily all competitors. My children (some of them) are now learning French by the principles and rules which will constitute this book, and this gives me every opportunity of perceiving and removing all sorts of impediments and embarrassments.
“My son William wrote French at twelve years old better than nine-tenths of the Frenchmen that I have ever known, or at least that I have ever seen write ; and both John and he speak now French as well as the greater part of Frenchmen.
" I shall publish both these works, and secure the copyright of them, in America, where there is a great sale for books of this description; but from the great intercourse now existing between England and France, the sale will be much more considerable in those countries.
" In about two months, or less, I shall send to Mr White, to be delivered to you (if you will under. take the thing,) the matter for these two works. You can secure the copyrights in England, and also in France. It is impossible for me to say what will be their produce; and I know well that immediate produce is not to be expected; yet it would be irrational not to believe, that these works must in a short time begin to be a source of real and substantial profit, the proceeds of which I should devote to the liquidation of the debts due to you ; and, if they exceeded that, to other purposes. In the meanwhile, there would be the foundation of profit, from the same source, laid in this country, from which, however, I should for some time not expect anything beyond what I should need here. I do not know that there would be any objection to the selling of this copyright in France; but I should not approve of this being done in England, because time may make them a source of great profit, and further, because I should not like for me or my sons to be precluded from future improvements of the works themselves. As to the particular application of the money that may arise from this fair and honourable source, after an equitable discharge of your demands on me ; and as to the precise mode of proceeding in the business, these must be the subject of a letter to accompany the manuscripts, which you will understand are now in a state of great forwardness; so that, as time is valuable, I hope that you, who understand such matters so well, and who have so much activity and intelligence, will, upon the receipt of this letter, and upon the strength of what you will see addressed to the beggarly tool of a French blackguard rascally Noble jean-foutre, make some inquiry amongst the race who trade in the fruit of men's minds. You know them pretty well, and I have perfect reliance on your prudence, integrity, and industry.
"I'am, you will perceive, getting ready a Grammar of the English Language. This, which is a work which I have always desired to perform, I have put into the shape of a series of letters, addressed to my beloved son James, as a mark of my approbation of his affectionate and dutiful conduct towards his mother during her absence from me.
“ In this work, which I have all my life, since I was nineteen years old, had in my contemplation, I have assembled together the fruits of all my observations on the construction of the English language; and I have given them the form of a book, not merely with a view to profit, but with a view to fair fame,
and with the still more agreeable view of instructing, in this foundation of all literary knowledge, the great body of my ill-treated, and unjustly-contemned countrymen. "I believe it to be quite impossible that this work should not have
a very extensive circulation in England and America, and that it should not be of many years' duration in point of profit. Whatever part of this profit can, without endangering the well-being of my beloved and exemplary, affectionate and virtuous family, be allotted to the discharge of my debts or encumbrances, shall, with scrupulous fidelity, be so allotted ; but as to this particular object, and as to other sources of gain, I will first take care that the acts of tyrannical confiscation, which have been put in force against me, shall not deprive this family of the means, not only of comfortable existence, but that it shall not deprive this family of the means of seeking fair and honourable distinction in the world. It is impossible for me to say or to guess at what I may, with my constant bodily health, and with the aptitude and industry which are now become a part of me, be able to do in the way of literary works productive of gain; but I can with certainty declare, that, beyond the purposes of safety to my family, I will retain or expend nothing, until no man shall say of me that I owe him a farthing. With regard to any profits that may arise from the Register in England, I at present know scarcely anything; and I have not any time to digest any regular plan relative to that matter : I shall do this in the
course of a short time. “ As I have fully apprized Mr White of the contents of this letter, 1 beg you to communicate with him on the subject, and to tell him very freely your opinion relative to the whole of its contents. have, all circumstances considered, a very strong desire to retain my real property in that country, which I so ardently love, and to which I have preserved, through all circumstances, so invariable a fidelity; and though I would abandon that object rather than do any act of real injustice, I will never, while the present infamous abrogation of the laws of my forefathers exists, set my hand to any deed, or give, either expressly or tacitly, my sanction to so infamous a violation of my rights, as well as of the rights of all.
“ We shall hardly be able to get the manuscript off before the month of January next; but, in the meanwhile, I shall be glad to hear from you, and to receive from you any suggestions that you may think useful.
" I have the pleasure to tell you that we all enjoy excellent health ; and I assure you, that it will give us all great pleasure to have the same sort of account from yourself, Mrs T., and family. "I am, my dear Sir, your most obedient, and most humble servant,
“ WILLIAM COBDETT." Tre reply of Sir Francis Burdett :" To MR WILLIAM COBBETT.
" St James's Place, Jan. 31, 1818. “SIR, -I have just received yours of the 20th November, and carefully, and according to your desire, perused the inclosed to Mr ''ipper.
It is not my intention to enter into any controversy respecting the honesty or dishonesty of paying or not paying debts according to the convenience of the party owing. It seems that, if it should ever suit your convenience, and take nothing from the comforts and enjoyments of yourself and family, such comforts and enjoyments, and means too of distinguishing themselves, as you think they are entitled