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of conger eels a hundred feet long, seeing the true glory of France. swordfish, sharks, &c.-A porpoise lift. Ought to go sleep-tired, feverish, and ing up his fishy face at my elbow spiritless. Ought to go to the ball to Roaring surge-My will unmade revive my spirits, and shew the fools Thought of a Coroner's inquest-Cla- and puppies of the place, that I was neirence's dream, &c.
ther mad nor merry in my morning's Tost on the shore on the back of a promenade.-Sprang out of bed. mountain of water-bruised, battered, At the ball-room door, met half the and half-suffocated-not a soul within company coming out-Had to force hail-A remote view of a few strag- the breach through a host of insolents, glers that looked like pilots specula- in the shape of footmen, gensdarmes, ting on a wreck-The sea following police-officers, and mendicants. from rock to rock, staunch as a blood- Breasted my way up stairs through hound.
a descending current of bonnetted, Searching for my clothes--my whole shawled, surtouted, swaddled, nondewardrobe hopelessly missing-proba script figures, that had once been qua. bly stolen-Pondering on the pleasant drillers, card-players, pretty women, contingency of making my entry into and prettier men. the town like a negro, or a plucked My entrance made good at last, the fowl-Tide rushing on, with a hide company reduced to a scattering of a ously desolate howlof the wind-Rocks couple of dozens, unhappy reliques of slippery, the higher the ascent, scarp- the rout, uncouthly toiling down a ed and perpendicular as a wall. dance, or loitering along the benches,
A gleam of joy at seeing my coat yawning at each other, in pale descooped out of the crevice of the rock spondency; the gentlemen drained to where I had left it, as I ignorantly the last civil speech, and the ladies conthought, above the reach of ocean, and suming the dregs of the orgeat and lesailing towards me-Grasped it like monade.--Every soul English, brouzed an old friend-flung it over my shoul- up in turbans that might have frightders, and mademy escape-My breech- ened the Grand Turk; bedizened in es, shoes, watch, and purse, of course, tawdry costumes, imported along with left to be fished for on the fall of the themselves, and made more burlesque tide.
by an attempt to ingraft them with Rapid movement towards home-in French alterations. The young wothe midst of the titter of girls, and the men universally lath, plaster, and execration of matrons, and other“ Dii chalk; the old ones, London porter, majorum gentium,” vehement against and prize-beef,-absolute Bluebeards what they looked on as my voluntary Tottered home.--My landlady fast exposure.
asleep ;-and defying all the usual exAs I passed the principal hotel, betted pedients of breaking a pane in her on by a knot of picktooth puppies, who bed-chamber-tearing out her bell by would have it that I was walking for the roots—Hallooing till I was hoarse a wager. The way through the Mar. -Every soul in the street poking their ket-place consequently cleared for me, night-caps out of the windows, and - and I the universal object of ridicule, reviling the coquin Anglais-Landlady surprise, and reprobation, till I rushed still unshaken. within the door of my lodging. Taken up by the gensdarmes for dis
Wearied to death--sick-dirty, and turbing the neighbourhood, amid sur. disheartened, flung myself into my rounding cries of “ Eh, ah! Bah, hah!" bed, and rehearsed in my sleep the “ Sacre !" “ Bien fait, bonhomme." whole spectacle of the day.
Au cachot ! -A sudden population of Roused by my landlady, who had thieves and filles de nuit starting, as if found my ticket for the ball on my ta- out of the ground, to attend me to the ble.--Informed that it was midnight, door of my new lodging.-Locked into and that I had no time to lose - An- the cachot for the night. gry at being disturbed yet afraid to Sunday.-IN THE Cachor.--The undergo the work of my sleep again- sous-prefect having gone to his country, pondered-cast my eyes on a new suit seat-Unspeakable vexation—Thinksent home that evening by the “ Tail- ing of liberty, and England. leur plus magnifique," of the world Monday-The affair explained and Dieppe. Ought to go to the ball, Let loose bounded like à lunatic it was first and last opportunity of home Flung my trunk upon the neck
of the first garfon I met, and hurried Went to the ground.No Frenchdown to the steam-boat.-Boat to man forthcoming-Lingered in the move in a quarter of an hour; felt for neighbourhood till dinner time. my watch-clean gone. -A family. At the tavern, had my cotelette serrepeater that I would not have lost for ved up by a face that I half recogni. the whole bourgeoise of Dieppe.--In zed-mymorning challenger-the head my vexation, called the town a nest of waiter !-Saw a sneer on the fellow's thieves and knaves.
countenance, and kicked him into the Called upon by a Frenchman at my street-Indignantly left my dinner side for an explanation of my words untouched, and walked down to the Tried it-He could not comprehend pier, to embark immediately. my French-Gallic ass-A mob ga- No vessel going off-Lounged about thered-Cards given-to meet in half till dusk-hungry and chill-Hired an an hour.-The steam-boat under way, open boat at ten times the price of the
I remaining to be stabbed or shot- packet.
All night at sea---Heavy swell The challenge getting wind.—Bored Not knowing where we were the with inquiries and observations-how Azores, the Bay of Biscay, or Brighton it happened ?-who it was ?-whether -In distress-Sick to death - The with sword or pistol ?- whether on men mutinous, lazy, and despairing. the cliffs or in the coffee-room? Picked up by a steam-boat going to promise that whatever might happen, Dieppe, with a promise of being dismy remains should be taken care of:- charged into the first homeward veso Congratulations on the extinction of sel. the Droit d'Aubaine, &c.
HAYLEY drivelled away on to a good, wards of threescore years-constantly dull, old age, like most annuitants; reading or writing, or talking with and his death, which could not be reading and writing people, ambitious looked on by anybody as a national ca- of literary fame, not without a sort of lamity, must have been most agreeable dozing industry, and at all times inspito Mr Colburn. That distinguished red with an unsuspecting confidence in bibliopole, we believe, paid the ancient his own powers, Aattered by a pretty gentleman some hundreds per annum, extensive circle of personal friends, peton condition of receiving his precious ted by the Blues, and generally in high Memoirs, to be published on his de- odour with the gentlemen of the pecease. Year after year did the memo- riodical press—it is certainly rather a rialist tenaciously cling to life, as if little singular, that never once, on any through mere spite; but we have now occasion whatever, great or small, did to congratulate Mr Colburn on his re- one original idea, or the semblance of lease from the defunct, and to wish him one, accidentally find its way for a a good bargain of those posthumous single moment into his head. He square yards of autobiography. He is had an eye for common-places; and a spirited publisher, and annually gives in his hands Cicero himself prosed us many excellent and amusing things; away like a moral essayist in the Lady's and it pleases us beyond measure to Magazine. Delighted, as he appears see the two huge mill-stones taken from to have been, in perusing book after off his neck at last. They were more book in his well-selected library at than enough to have drowned many."a Eastham, yet, in good truth, the finest strong swimmer in his agony;" but spirits of ancient and modern times they met with an unimmergible buoy- were little better than mere dolts—logs ancy in this case, and the worthy pub- -like himself ; for he was utterly inlisher reached the bank in safety. capable of seeing anything worth see
William Hayley was, beyond all ri. ing in them; and he never quotes a valry, the most distinguished driveller good author, but either to shew that of his age. Devoted to literature up- he misunderstood him, or that he had
• Colburn. 2 vols. 4to.
selected the passage on account of its famous year 45--and his father ratsed inanity, or some felt resemblance to the
a company of volunteers, called the character of his own thought. He is. Chichester Blues.”—Mrs Hayley, no the most nerveless of all our English way alarmed by the threats of a French writers. Although a man of an ex- invasion on the Sussex coast, refused tremely bad temper, he had not the to be taken to Portsmouth, and magslightest power of satire. No sooner nanimously produced our bantling bard died one of his friends, than he gave in his “ native city.” Captain H., orders for a comfortable dinner-saw however, unwilling to destroy the the fire well fed, and then, over his beauty of his lady's bosom, which we pint of port and filberts, he passed the are assured he greatly admired, engaevening in writing an elegy or epitaph ged a wet nurse; but, miserabile dictu ! on the deceased. Nothing could occur “ by a fraud not uncommon among veof the least notoriety that he did not nal nurses, the person procured on this forthwith turn into verse ; and had occasion was so deficient in the vital London been destroyed utterly by fire treasure in which she had pretended to or earthquake, he would have been at abound, that her charge was nearly his octo-syllabics, and out with an Epis- starved to death before the source of tle to Lady A. before putting on his his decline was discovered." The anecnight-cap! His elegies, epitaphs, ama- dote is mentioned, as it may serve to tory verses, letters, comedies, tragedies, enforce the eloquent admonitions which and epic poems, may be all read“ pro- Rousseau, and Mr Roscoe, in translating misky;" and by the alteration of a very the Italian poem of Tansillo, have given few words here and there, be convert- to young mothers; and because it is also ed into each other sometimes with ma- remarkable," as the first of many hair. nifest advantage. There is a charade breadth escapes of life to which the insomewhere in these volumes, which we fant William was destined in his morare positive we once read on a tomb- tal career.” stone in a country church-yard.
Captain Hayley caught a cold on a It seems as if Mr Hayley had been field-day, which settled on his lungs, careful to preserve one temperature in and carried him off prematurely; and his library, and that he always compo.. so much for one whom our bard calls sed in a state of much bodily comfort. “ the first of the Hayleys." His earHis mind has little or no part in the liest school was a school of young
ladies philosophical or poetical transactions of in Chichester; and “he often related the day; and at the close of the poem, with pleasure, that he received from or letter, or essay, we exclaim,“ There the youngest of the three, a bright sil. writes the well-dressed gentleman !"- ver penny, as a reward of reading well It could not well have been otherwise. and it is a singular fact, that, in his Had there been any wear and tear of sixty-third year, he had the pleasure mind, we should have been deprived of of presenting to this lady, still conductHayley many years ago ; but that sys- ing the school with cheerful health and tem of continued and gentle bodily ex- perfect faculties, a recent edition of his ercise which he took in his library, Triumphs of Temper, printed at Chiwithout any mental labour at all, no chester, as a memorial of his gratitude doubt conduced to the longevity of Mr and regard towards the venerable Colburn's annuitant. However, the teacher of his infancy.” Soon aftermost judicious rules for attaining ex- wards he was removed to an academy treme old age, can only carry a man a at Kingston, where he had nearly kicka certain length. Even Hayley is dead ed the bucket, and escaped with a shatat last; and a prodigious power of scrib- tered constitution, and, as it would ble is no more.
seem, a debilitated intellect. He reMr Hayley favours us with a short covered, he says, from both; and beaccount of " his birth and infancy.” fore going to Eton, had a private tutor He no doubt was present at the first, at Teddington. Here “a philosophic but could not have been in a situation divine once amused him with a sight of to make any observations that might Epsom Races through his telescope, and be depended upon. Of his infancy, he once displayed to him the circulation of speaks thus :-“ He happened to ar- blood in a frog.” At twelve years of rive in the world when
age he is sent to Eton, and gets such THÁT GAVE HIM BIRTH was full of an infernal flogging, that he plans“ an terror and perturbation. It was in the extensive moral and satirical poem, in
several cantos, which he meant to en- of Mr Hayley's youth; but since he title the Expulsion of the Rod."- chooses to be communicative, and to He remained at Eton five years, and make the public his confidante, he has acquired the knack of writing Latin no right to stop short, sport mum, and verses indifferently; and produced an baulk a curiosity which he had himOde on the Birth of the Prince of self excited and indulged. There is Wales, which was inserted in the Cam- some talk about anonymous letters, bridge Collection, and also in the Gen- and it is hard to know which party tleman's Magazine. So much for the was jilted; but there is gross indelicabirth, infancy, and boyhood, of Wil- cy in saying anything about the matliam Hayley, Esq.
ter at all; and if there was to be an "He now entered himself of Trinity- account of it, it should have been full Hall, Cambridge, where he resided and particular. If Hayley, at the age pretty constantly for three years. of twenty-one, was frightened out of the only two lecturers in Trinity-Hall,
his attachment by anonymous letters, there was nothing to inspire awe or nothing could be more despicableapprehension. The one lectured in But we presume his passion had evacivil law, and the other in Longinus.” porated in verse. “As the Students of Trinity-Hall, un- Meanwhile, the Poet of Sussex very der the plea of devoting themselves to dexterously transfers his affections the civil law, are exempted from the from sweet Fanny Page to sweeter public exercises of the university, and Eliza Ball, who had been the confias Hayley left college without taking dante in the former affair. “When any degree, he never appeared as a dis- Hayley first mentioned this new idea putant in the schools, but he often fre- to his mother, the tenderness of maquented them as a favourite amuse- ternal affection caught a severe alarm, ment; for he had great pleasure in concerning the deranged parent of the hearing the Latin language eloquently hapless but lovely Eliza. "You know, ' spoken by two moderators of his time, said Mrs H. to her son, 'that this John Jebb and Richard Watson."- sweet girl is almost as dear to me as And so finished his university educa- she can be to you, for I have loved her tion.
and her parents for many years; but, On leaving Cambridge, he goes to my dear William, before you resolve live with his mother in Great Queen- to marry, let me ask you one question. street, Lincoln's-Inn-Fields. The You know the mental calamity of her house “ had the advantage of a few poor mother-what should you think trees in the little area behind it, which of your own conduct, if, after you had gave to the windows of the young poet's made this delicate and charming crealibrary, on the first floor, a pleasing ap- ture your wife, you should ever see her pearance of verdure and retirement, as sink into her mother's most afflicting the house was lofty and commodious." disorder ?'- My dear madam,' the He then makes a trip to Edinburgh, fervent lover replied, “I have asked and studies fencing, horsemanship, and my own heart the very question you mathematics, in Auld Reekie ; for the have proposed to me so kindly ; and I Modern Athens was at that time but will tell you its immediate answer. In a small cancern. He sees Dr Roberto - that case, I shall bless my God for son, Dr Cullen, Angelo, the Falls of having given me courage sufficient to the Clyde, and enjoys the humours of make myself the legal guardian of the a Berwick smack - And of Scotland most amiable and most pitiable woman that is all he remembers, or had no- on earth.'” It will be seen afterwards ticed, during a visit of several months. how the selfish and heartless versifier
We had forgot to mention, that, be- adhered to his virtuous resolutions. fore going to Cambridge, the “ Poet " He speedily escorted her to the of Sussex” had fallen in love with a Deanery at Chichester, where they pretty girl named Fanny Page. They were both received as most welcome were in fact betrothed, and we were guests; and on the 230 October, 1769, every moment expecting a wedding- the lovers were married in the Cathewhen, all of a sudden, the barilling dral by the Bishop. That prelate, Sir takes flight, and is off at a tangent. A William Ashburnham, had a voice and most provoking mystification hangs elocution peculiarly suited to sacred over this affar. To be sure it is no language. The poet civilly said to him, business of ours to pry into the loves with great truth, on the close of the VOL. XIV.
ceremony, 'It is really a high plea- vacity in soothing and cheering the sure, my lord, to hear any part of the vexed and irritated spirit of his Eliza, Prayer Book read by your lordship.' whose indignation had been peculiarly To which compliment he oddly an- excited against Mrs Garrick, as the swered, This is the worst service in manager had incautiously betrayed the church. He meant the worst for what ought to have been a secret of his recital; but his conjugal vexationsgave wife, and was weak enough to say, to his speech all the poignancy of an that she thought the tragedy not patheambiguous expression.
tic. This appeared such an insult a“ The Poet” goes to London with gainst the talents of her husband, as his young wife, and “ determines to the feeling Eliza found it hardly posapply himself chiefly to dramatic com- sible to forgive; but a vexation of a position.” He waits upon Garrick with more serious and important nature soon a tragedy, entitled the “ Afflicted Fa- occupied the thoughts, and most griether;" and an amusing enough account vously agitated the tender nerves, of is given of the manager'sefforts togetrid that inost pitiable sufferer. She was of the trash. “The manager assumed a overwhelmed by a sudden discovery, face in which politeness vainly endea- that her father, though in good health, voured to disguise his perplexity; and, had ceased to be Dean of Chichester! with much embarrassment, he said, The Dean had been prevailed upon to
Why, faith, I have not been able to resign (rather in a dishonest way, we fix a day, I have been reconsidering think) by his son-in-law; and the surthe tragedy—it is most elegantly writ- prise wounded the too vulnerable Eliza ten-it is a charming composition to so deeply, that she passed the three first recite to a small circle—but I am afraid nights, after the intelligence had reachit is not calculated for stage effect. ed her, in tears, incessant tears! Her However, it shall certainly be played, husband, though he felt also much inif you desire it.'-—'Ono! by no means, dignation against the secrecy of the mildly said the poet, with suppressed transaction, endeavoured to tranquilindignation at the duplicity of the ma- lize her spirits; and their excellent nager ; ' I shall instantly put it into friend Mr Steele contributed much to my pocket; and I am very sorry, sir, this desirable effect, by some kind, juthat it has given you so much trouble.' dicious, and admirable letters."-Soon Garrick burst again into a profusion of after the worthy ex-Dean died, and new civilities, and offers of the kindest Hayley returned to his tragedies. good offices upon any future occasion. The “Syrian Queen,” however, met Mrs Garrick seemed desirous of sooth- with no better reception from Colman ing the spirit of the poet by personal than the" Afflicted Father” from Garflattery; and the first hopes of this tra- rick, and the Poet of Sussex was once gedy thus ended in a farce of adula- more on a bed of nettles. tion. It was a bitter disappointment some degree of indignation that the to lose the fair prospect of seeing a fa
doors of both theatres seemed to be vourite drama well played; but the shut against him, and persuaded by mortification was felt much more se- his own sensations that he had a converely by the wife and mother of the siderable portion of poetic fire in his poet than by himself. During the mind, he resolved to display it in a hubble-bubble rejection of the tragedy composition not subject to the caprice by Garrick, the poet had felt a little of managers, yet more arduous in its like Ariosto, when scolded by his fa- execution-in short, he intended to ther, and instead of lamenting his own begin an Epic Poem.” He intended defects, he was struck with the idea, that his Epic should be “ a national what a fine comic scene he could make work ;” and his passion for freedom of the important personage who was led him to choose for his heroes the giving him a lecture. Indeed, a dis- Barons, and their venerable director appointed poet, with his deluded and the Archbishop Langton, “who, by a angry friend, and a shuffling ma- happy union of valour and wisdom, nager, and the manager's meduling established the great charter.” But he wife, afforded ample materials for a fell through his Epic, and England lost comedy. But although the laughable a “national work," by the Poet of group struck the fancy of Hayley in Sussex. He, however, presented his that point of view, he wrote nothing country with a poetical Epistle“ to on the occasion, but employed his vis the mild and elegant Stanislaus, King