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per Cents ?

Where Grattan, Curran, Sheridan, all Than might suffice a moderate century those

through. Who bound the bar or senate in their I knew that nought was lasting, but now

spell? Where is the unhappy Queen, with all her Change grows too changeable, without woes?

being new : And where the Daugliter, whom the Nought'S PERMANENT AMONG THE HUIsles loved well ?

MAN RACE, Where are those martyred Saints the Five EXCEPT THE Whigs not GETTING INTO

PLACE.” And where-oh where the devil are the rents !

Now, my dear North, I sincerely

hope you will gratify me so far, as to “Where is Lord This ? And where my put these verses in without curtailLady That?

ment, and that for three good and sufThe Honourable Mistresses and Misses?

ficient reasons, viz.Some laid aside like an old Opera lat, v

1st, They occur in the original work Married, unmarried, and remarried :

in the midst of so much beastliness, (this is

gross filth, outrageous filth, abominaAn evolution oft performed of late.) Where are the Dublin shouts--and they should have been seen by far the

ble filth, that it is quite impossible London hisses ? Where are the Grenvilles? Turned as

greater proportion of your readers. Don

Juan is a sealed book to the ladies of usual. Where My friends the Whigs? Exactly where

our time, (to say no more,) and you they were

will be doing them a great favour in

thus affording a few extracts, upon the “ Where are the Lady Carolines and Fran

Family Bowdler” principle, from a cesses?

work, which, as a whole, they have no Divorced or doing thereanent. Ye an

chance of seeing; or, if they did see nals

it, of reading three pages in it withSo brilliant, where the list of routes and out blushing to the back-bone. This dances is

will be a benefit. Thou Morning Post, sole record of the 2dly, Another great benefit will be pannels

this, that you will, by doing as I sugBroken in carriages, and all the phanta- gest, restore the line, which in former sies

days always distinguished you from Of fashion,--say what streams now fill what Plutarch calls, “ the rest of the those channels ?

hunters;" and which I was very sorry to Some die, some fly, some languish on the

see my worthy friend Timothy Tickler, continent,

of all men in the world, doing his best Because the times have hardly left them to erase and obliterate. You will shew

the world that you are still the old

Christopher—too manly to deny any. “ Some who once set their caps at cau

thing that you feel, too just to contious Dukes,

found together two questions essenHave taken up at length with younger tially separate and distinct-the ques

brothers : Some heiresses have bit at sharpers'

tion of moral tendency, and that of in

tellectual hooks;

power. Some maids have been made wives,

Sdly, By vindicating your characsome merely mothers;

ter as to this matter, you will give Others have lost their fresh and fairy looks:

your own voice a chance of being really In short, the list of alteration bothers.

listened to by this singular man when There's little strange in this, but some

you happen to address him in the thing strange is

words of admonition. A man like ByThe unusual quickness of these common

ron will feel when any one calls him changes.

a devil for a piece of blackguardism;

but he will only laugh at being called “ Talk not of seventy years as age; in

a dunce for a piece of brilliancy, even

by You. That there is a prodigious V I have seen more changes, down from deal of blackguardism in these three monarchs to

one tenant.


cantos, who can deny? What can be The bumblest individual under heaven, more so than to attack the King, as


this Lord does, with low, vile, personal upon astrash of the first water. It is very buffooneries-bottomed in utter false- likely--indeed I have no doubt of ithood, and expressed in crawling ma- that a canto of Don Juan costs Lord lice ? Nothing, nothing. What can Byron much less trouble than a “Werbe more exquisitely worthy of con- ner" or a “ Cain.” In like manner, I tempt than the savage imbecility of daresay, one of Voltaire's lumbering these eternal tirades against the Duke tragedies cost Voltaire ten times more of Wellington? What more pitiable fatigue than ten Zadigs, Taureau than the state of mind that can find Blancs, or Princesses of Babylon, any gratification in calling such a man would have done. In like manner, I as Southey by nicknames that one have no doubt Wordsworth's “ Conwould be ashamed of applying to a vention of Cintra" pamphlet cost him coal-heaver? What can be so abject much more trouble than his “ Ruth," as this eternal trampling upon the or his “ Song for Brougham Castle," dust of Castlereagh? Shame! shame! or his “Hart-leap Well." In like manshame! Byron ought to know, that all ner, I have no doubt the Monthly men of all parties (for Cockneys are not List of Deaths, Marriages, Births, men, and saloop-parties are not par. Bankruptcies, Patents, and Promoties, Junitein regarding all these things, tions, costs you more trouble than but especially the first and the last,

as the “ Leading Article.” But this is insults to themselves, and as most mi- not the way to judge of these things. serable degradations of him. But he Almost any one canto of Juan-cerought to be told this in a sensible man- tainly any one of these three-contains ner. He ought not to be treated as if more poetry and more genius than any he were a driveller, or capable of being three of Byron's recent tragic attempts mistaken for one even for a moment; have done. The worthy I have been but he ought to be told plainly, dis- dishing, probably opines that Lord tinctly, solemnly, and with a total ne- Byron dashes off a canto of the Don gation of all humbug, that he is a after a tragedy, just as he himself does writer of extraordinary talents-that an article for My Grandmother," afDon Juan contains the outline of an ter he has finished his sermon for next extraordinary poem--and that he is Sunday. voluntarily ruining both himself and I shall now beg leave to “ relax his produetion.

from the fatigue of this serious liter, I observe some of the Monthly idiots ary exertion" over a tumbler of gintalk of “ Don Juan" as if it were a by- twist; and, wishing mine Editor many job of Lord Byron's—a thing that he similar relaxations, remain his most just takes up now and then, when he humble servant, is (I must quote their own sweet words)

M. ODOHERTY, “ relaxing from the fatigues of more

Kilkenny, Sept. 12. serious literary exertions.” This I look


This publication has much disap- We would earnestly recommend it pointed us. It will do a great deal to our worthy friend Bohte (a most more harm than good to the popularity spirited and most useful bookseller he 'of German literature here. In general, is,) to have the few good stories in very indifferent pieces are selected, this collection cut out, and publishwhile scores and scores innumerable of ed by themselves in a single voexquisite things of the same species luine. At present, the proportion of are omitted. Who could trouble him- Balaam is at least three to one, which self with doing into English such per- is more than is sufferable even in pefect trash as “the Sorcerers,” “the riodicals, to say nothing of a book Victim of Priestcaft,” &c. &c. &c. which ought to be, and which might while so many dozens of really excel- so easily be, made a standard one. It lent little stories of diablerie remain will cost him the less trouble to do untouched-the whole works, to say this, that, we know not by what accino more, of Herr Hoffman ?

dent, the best of his stories are also

Popular Tales of the Northern Nations. In 3 vols. London. Simpkin and Marshall, and J. Bohte. 1823.

out of sight the best translated. The of common German life of all kinds Fatal Marksman, the Collier's Family, would render that book a most acceptthe Bottle-Imp,* and the Spectre Bar- able present to the English public. It ber, are, comparatively speaking, done would do more to gratify curiosity than as they deserved to be; while, through- ten new books of travels in Germany, out the greater proportion of these written by any Englishman, however three volumes, miserable, bald, and accomplished. It ought, however, to even grammarless English, is employ- be accompanied with notes. ed in the setting forth of what, even We have not seen the translation of in the German, was bad enough in all Cassanova's Life. Of the extraordinary conscience.

talent shewn in that work there can Nothing gives us more pain (talk- be but one opinion ; but we confess ing of small matters) than to see a we should think it almost impossible really good book ill translated ; and of to make anything of it for the English late the English translations from the public of this time—it being about German prose-writers have been, for five hundred times worse than Don the most part, wretched. “ Sintram Juan, both in the article of blasphemy und Seine Gefährten," is, in La Motte and in that of indecency-Five hunFouqué's language, one of the finest dred?--we should rather say five thouromances in the world--a thing equal sand. A. volume of extracts, however, to Vathek, and praise could scarcely is perhaps all that has been done ; and, go farther. But, in the version pub- if so, it may be as it should be. lished in London a year or two ago, The little book published last win(by Ollier, we think,) it is a per- ter, “ German Nursery Tales, with fect horror; and we believe nobody etchings by Cruikshank,” was execuhas ever read five pages of it on ted in a style very superior to that of end. The knowledge of German is the present work. The translator, now so very common an accomplish- whoever he be, displayed a great deal ment, that such people as Ollier or of tact in transferring these stories with Bohte need not surely be at any loss so much of their native naiveté ; he to find out fit hands for any underta- must be a very different sort of person king of this sort.

from those who had the chief concern in We are happy to see Messrs Oliver these" PopularTales and Romances”and Boyd announce a forthcoming if indeed the whole fault has not been version of Goëthe’s Willelm Meister ; utter laziness and haste, which may this is the true plan. Don't give us very probably be the case; and, if so, any of the minors until the really why, the more shame. Altogether, it great authors are exhausted.

is by no means a creditable concernA good translation of Goëthe’s “Life for anybody but the bookseller who of Himself” would be an excellent started the idea. We wish him more speculation. To say nothing of the luck the next time, for he deserves it. great poet himself, the lights it affords

* An ill-chosen title, by the way, and no version at all, of “ Der Galgen mannlein."


No. III.

This is the season of sleep to Lon- glutition of poetry, personality, critidon. The Leviathan having spent his cism, Doctors' Commons, Debates, activity in the months from March to Spain, and the slave trade; till, surJuly, lapses into utter slumber from charged with his meal, he lapses again, July till October ; then merely opens and lays down his enormous head in his ears to receive the sounds of the sleep and summer. opening theatres—finds them drowsy, The present dearth of topics is so according to custom, and plunges into total, that the few talkers who survive a sleep of tenfold profundity, to be in town are reduced to the hopeless nebroken by nothing less exciting than cessity of using a quarrel between the politics and the Christmas pantomimes. proprietors of a theatre and their BoxHe then springs up to life and appe- keeper, as a subject for public interest tite-opens his jaws, with the vigour La succedaneum for the natural food of a giant refreshed, to a grand de- of conversation,worthy of the ingenuity

that taught Captain Franklin to make late manager, who had nothing to do a roti out of a pair of shoes, and has with their

measurewho had no hosenriched the culinary world with the tility to their man—and who could neireceipt for Tarpaulin soup and hashed ther be compelled nor cajoled into partpantaloons. The whole affair of the ing with a stiver of his revenue ? The theatre, with all its newspaper corre- managers have actually plunged them spondence and threatened law, is con- selves neck-deep into this “great Serdensible into a dozen words. The ma- bonian bog,” for the trivial saving of nagers had a right to dismiss their ser. L.120 a-year—a sum which they could vant; and may, if it so please them, have brought up, in their lowest ecodismiss every servant within their nomical extremity, by a reduction in gates : nay, dismiss every tenant of the expenditure of sand or saw-dust for their stage nightly and yearly, and their stage, or in the denegation of a Thalia ridente," enact the whole cor- pair of tinsel breeches once a season to poration of players, box-keepers, and that chief of magicians, Farley. They scene-shifters, in their own persons. ought to have paid his pension to BranBut this might not be wise, and the don at once. T'hey ought even to have question with the managers, as with enlarged its sum.' If the old man den other men, should less turn on the right served anything, he deserved more. than on the expedient. If their Box- They might have reckoned on no long keeper have been careless, (for nothing demand for their bounty. At seventymore has been substantiated,) or if he five, few men draw bills on longevity. have been in the insolvent prison, it But that any unworthy motive actuates might become a matter of propriety to such men as Charles Kemble and his look for his substitute. His situation partners—that they are touched by any is of some importance to the public. An personal vindictiveness, or mere pecuinsolvent, or even an eccentric Box- niary purpose, is altogether out of the keeper, might contrive to render a thea- question. Coming to the conduct of tre as unpopular as it could be made the theatre at a period of great diffiby a bad company. The minor offi- culty, their management, however it cials can do much in this style. The in- may have been perplexed by circumsolence and extortion of the pew-openers stances left as a legacy to their inexin some of the London churches, has perience, has succeeded so far as to driven many a convert to the hospita- shew what they may do when the preslity of the Tabernacle on the opposite sure of their situation shall have been side of the way. The sour looks and lightened. Gentlemen by habit and craving palms of the

familiars who hold education, they have succeeded in atthe door of the Royal Chapel of St tracting an interest among men of taste James's, thin his Majesty's congrega, and consideration, that may be of the tion. The hierarchy and Doctor Ireland highest importance to their establishshare in the mutterings of many an ex- ment. Authorship, so proverbially recluded sailor and soldier, who comes to pelled by the difficulties of managerial have a look at the heroes in the Abbey; approach, will probably be induced to and the pertness of a government new exertions in the drama ; and Coclerk has sent many an honest squire vent-Garden theatre, hitherto remarkback to the fire-side of his fathers, with able for the brilliancy of its stage dehis broad hat, and rapidly radicalizing coration, may add to the delight of the against Mr Canning and the memory eye-the deeper delight of the mind. of Pitt. The Covent-Garden Box-keeper Where “ Hunt has boxed and Mahomight contrive to make even his humi- met has danced," a succession of perlity felt by the world in the shape of formances honourable to the revived partiality, or a fluent tongue; and if genius of the age may be brought forthis be the case, the managers not only ward-pantomime may lose its suprehad the right, but lay under the ne- macy--tumblers, elephants, and horses, cessity, of dismissing him. The only despair of re-appearing on the stage. question worth a moment's pause, is, But the Box-keeper's outcry must be whether their prudence has been ex- silenced without loss of time ; and the actly of the same rank as their power ? only mode of tying his tongue, is, payWhether, when they had determined ing his pension. to allow their servant a pension, it was A truce to London, I must set off not a pure provoking of quarrel, to re- for Dover. fer him for three-fourths of it to the



Monday-Dover. RoUsed out of a dreary dose--the ly not unlike an old woman, after all. fruits of last night's surfeit of tough Resumed my caricature, and put the mutton and brandy port-by the wai- Cockney into the group. ter, with the intelligence that the Steam-boat was just going off.- Completely at sea—the Castle sinkStarted from bed, in an agony of ner- ing-a breeze-pearly fringe in the vous hurry-Put a posse of porters, surge-groans from below, with frewaiters, and chambermaids, in requi- quent calls for the steward. Detersition to bundle me off._Rushed down mined not to be sick. Saw several to the pier, with the whole clan at my of the dead and wounded brought up heels

, and every eye in the town turn- for fresh air, and several of the living ed on my flight-reached the shore suddenly plunged into the cabin. time enough to see the packet under Those detestable steam-vessels roll easy sail. - Paid half the passage for a worse than a sailing boat-they bore boat to take me five hundred yards, the surge instead of sliding over it and was at last trundled on board un- a heavy sea--postponed my caricature shaved and half-dressed, “ unanoint- doubted whether a peculiar native ed and unaneled,” to cool my pores in configuration of stomach, a something a raw, foggy breeze.

differing from that of a being born to The deck crowded with spruce Lon- live on land, as much as webbed feet doners and their ladies, feathered and are from human toes, a sort of amflounced for a water-party-Cha- phibious or fishy interior, is not to be grined to the soul, and attempting to found on dissection in every “ able get rid of my discomfort by contempt seaman." of the whole set. Took out my pencil, Surrounded by sufferers drooping and attempted a caricature-sketched over the sides of the vessel like fowls an alderman and a half-pay officer in in a coop-endeavoured to hum a song strong dispute on the National debt of Dibdin'smconfounded nonsense, å fine contrast of figure, pursy pride, sea song under any circumstancesmas and meagre pertinacity; fat, con- well dance quadrilles in an hospital tented ignorance, and ignorance nei dare not look at the deck, nor at the ther the one nor the other— turtle be- sky, nor at the water. Determined to side ration soup. The Prior and the go to China by land-more variety of Laybrother in the Duenna ; Lambert scenery, Tartary, the Great Wall, &c. and Romeo's seller of mandragora.--shun Eurines and Caspians-and Weather delightful.-Sea smooth as wait till Wolgas and Dnipers were my lady's mirror.—Wondered that I frozen over.- A merciless brute orderhad not been bred to the navy.-Be- ed his lunch close at my side-ham, gan to think of a course of voyages for brandy, and biscuit-a meal for Alec the next dozen years.—Undetermined to, Megæra, and Tisiphone-How the whether to commence with the east devil can anybody think of eating or or the west, Botany Bay or Buenos- enjoyment on board a packet? The Ayres, China or Chili-determined on ship tossing and jumping from side to China as the longest voyage. Repro- side like an unbroke horse—desperatebated the folly of looking for the ly sick-torture-red-hot grappling north-west passage, as tending to shor- irons--cantharides-soup, &c. ten the indulgence of living on shipboard.Waited half an hour for pas

Dieppe. sengers-Cursed, in the fervour of my Theport in sight-windmills sprawl. delight, the wretched habit of linger- ing like gigantic spiders-churching till the last moment—and resol- spires with saints impaled upon their ved in future to rise with the sun.Dó- tops-yellow roofs spreading below ver Castle magnificent-tints of time, them, ragged and dingy, like a gipsy's silvery lights, verdurous clothing; encampment—all squalidness, stench, heard a Cockney compare it to an old and clamour. woman wrapped up in a rug. Cast a Flung up on the pier, roped into an look at the fellow that ought to have enclosure like negroes at market-to annihilated him. The Castle certain- prevent intercourse with the native

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