Page images
PDF
EPUB

scrapes, but he is as unlike her as possible? a good-humoured tattling creature, with a perpetual festivity of temper, and a propensity to motion and laughter, and all sorts of merry mischief, like a schoolboy in the holidays, which felicitous personage he resembles bodily in his round ruddy handsome face, his dancing black eyes, curling hair,and light active figure, the youngest man that ever saw forty. His pursuits have the same happy juve. nility. In the summer he fishes and plays cricket; in the winter he hunts and courses; and what with grouse and partridges, pheasants and woodcocks, woodpigeons and flappers, he contrives pretty tolerably to shoot all the year round. Moreover, he attends revels, assizes, and quarter-sessions; drives stage coaches, patronizes plays, is steward to concerts, goes to every dance within forty miles, and talks of standing for the county; so that he has no time to quarrel with his wife or for her, and affronts her twenty times an hour, simply by giving her her

own way.

To the popularity of this universal favourite, for the restless sociability of his temper is invaluable in a dull country neighbourhood, his wife certainly owes the toleration which bids fair to render her incorrigible. She is fast approaching to the melancholy condition of a privileged person, one put out of the pale of civilized society. People have left off being angry with her, and begin to shrug up their shoulders and say it is her way, a species of placability which only provokes her the more. For my part, I have too great a desire to obtain her good opinion to think of treating her in so shabby a mauner; and as it is morally certain that we shall never be friends whilst we visit, I intend to try the effect of non-intercourse, and to break with her outright. If she reads this article, which is very likely, for she takes the New Monthly, (she is really a person oftaste), and I think the title will catch her eye, if she reads only half a page, she will inevitably have done with me, and with the Magazine. If not, there can hardly be any lack of a sufficient quarrel in her company; and then, when we have ceased to speak or to curtsey, and fairly sent each other to Coventry, there can be no reason why we should not be on as civil terms as if the one lived at Calcutta and the other at New York.

K.

ANTIQUITY OF OUR POPU

LAR DIVERSIONS.

THE manual dexterity of exhibiting cups and balls, is of very great antiquity; and feats of rope-dancing and horsemanship were first brought from Egypt to Constantinople; from Turkey they travelled to Rome, and thence soon spread over all Europe. The Romans are said to have taught an elephant to dance on a rope stretched across the theatre; and such was the confidence placed in the dexterity of this unwieldy creature, that a person always mounted him when he performed this extraordinary feat.

Puppet-shows were well known among the ancients. Plato and Aristotle both mention Dædulus, who was said to have made statues, not only with locomotive power, but which were obliged to be tied down to prevent their running away. Aristotle describes a wooden Venus made by this ingenious mechanist, to which motion was communicated by quick silver. When the astonished Greeks beheld it, they cried out," it will soon walk." Some writers of the next generation absolutely affirmed that it did walk.

At

Speaking-figures were as ancient as the oracles of Greece and Egypt. what latent period they were revived and fell into the hands of jugglers, is not precisely known. Reitz mentions a man named Irson, an Englishman, who astonished Charles II. and all his court with a speaking-figure, till one of the pages discovered a Romish priest in the adjoining apartment, answering the questions that were whispered to the wooden head, through a pipe directly opposite to it.

THE DERVISE.

A DERVISE was journeying alone in the deserts, when two merchants suddenly met him. "You have lost a camel," said he, to the merchants. "In-, deed we have," they replied. "Was he not blind in his right eye? and lame in his left leg?" said the dervise. "He was," replied the merchants. "Had he not lost a tooth?" said the dervise. "He had," rejoined the merchants." And was he not loaded with honey on one side, and wheat on the other?" "Most certainly he was," they replied, "and as you have seen him so lately, and marked him so particularly, you can, in all probability, conduct us unto him. "My friends," said the dervise, "I have never seen your camel, nor ever heard of him, but from you." "A pretty story, truly," said the merchants, “but where are the jewels which formed a

THE ESSENCE OF ANECDOTE AND WIT.

part of his cargo." "I have neither seen your camel, nor your jewels," repeated the dervise. On this they seized his person, and forthwith hurried him before the cadi, where, on the strictest search, nothing could be found upon him, nor could any evidence whatever be adduced to convict him, either of falsehood, or theft. They, were then about to proceed against him as a sorcerer, when the dervise, with great calmness, thus addressed the court; "I have been much amused with your surprise, and own that there has been some ground for your suspicions; but I have lived long, and alone; and I can find ample scope for observations, even in a desert. I knew that 1 had crossed the track of a camel that had strayed from its owner, because I saw no mark of human footstep on the same route; I knew the animal was blind in one eye, because it had cropped the herbage only on one side of its path; and I perceived that it was lame in one leg, from the faint impression which that particular foot had produced upon the sand; I concluded that the animal had lost one tooth, because wherever it had grazed, a small tuft of herbage was left uninjured, in the centre of its bite. As to that which formed the burthen of the beast, the busy ants informed me that it was corn on the one side, and the clustering flies, that it one honey on the other."

The Essence of Anecdote
and Wit.

WITTY REPLIES.

(From the German.)

IN the first division of Poland, in the year 1775, the bishopric of Ermlaud fell to Prussia. The prince bishop, Krasiky, a man of great learning and wit, soon saw himself honoured with the King's highest esteem, and dined almost every day with his Majesty. The King one day said pleasantly to the prince bishop, " Be pleased when you go to heaven to take me under your mantle;" upon which the prince bishop replied, "Your Majesty was pleased to curtail so much of my reve. nues, and in consequence so much of the length of my cloak, 1 much fear, that I should not be able to cover your Majesty's feet, and should be detected in the fact of smuggling contraband goods."

127

The King, much pleased with the prince's smart answer, said, "But what will you say to me, when we meet in heaven ?""Great King," replied the prince, "protect me under the shadow of your wings, but spare me with your talons:" alluding to the black Prussian eagle.

BACH,

Or the Musical Disappointment.

From the same.

AN Englishman came to Hamburg, where the great musician Bach resided, which he was delighted to hear, and wished for nothing more than a personal introduction in order to make an acquaintance with so famous a professor, and assist at his concerts. He was accordingly presented to Mr. Bach by a common friend. Mr. Bach was ready to gtraify the Englishman's wish to hear him play, and as soon as he came, sat down to the harpsichord, and played so finely as to think himself that he had outdone his own outdoings; in the midst of one of the most beautiful passages where he was straining every finger to excel, the Buglishman suddenly desired him to stop. Bach, utterly astonished at the request, held his hand, when John Bull frankly asked him if he knew how many strings there were to his instrument. Bach said he could not tell; but I can, replied the Englishman, for I counted them while you were playing.

THE PAINTER AND THE PAINTED.

(From the same.)

A LADY who was very highly rouged, addressing herself to the King called him warrior, poet, philosopher, &c. &c. when his Majesty stopped her by saying, Madam, you have coloured my portrait as high as your own, but we are both too much painted.

DEFINITION OF A BEAUTIFUL
WOMAN.

FONTENELLE, on being asked to define a beautiful woman, replied--.“ A beautiful woman is the Hell of the soul, the Purgatory of the purse, and the Paradise of the eyes."

Mechanics' Dracle, etc.

SHAWL GOATS.

In a paper descriptive of an excursion through the Himalaya Mountains, written by Lieutenant Gerard, and inserted in Dr. Brewster's Edinburgh Journal of Science, we find the following remarks on the wool of the celebrated goat which forms shawls of so valuable a fabric, which are new to us.---" We exchanged a gold button for a goat, which we took with us to Soobathoo. The wool is extremely fine, and almost equal to what is used for the manufacture of shawls."

ARTIFICIAL CHALYBEATE

WATER.

If a few pieces of silver coin, (says Dr Hare,) be alternated with pieces of sheet iron, placing the pile in water it soon acquires a chalybeate taste and a yellow. ish hue, and in twenty-four hours flocks of oxide of iron appear. Hence by replenishing with water a vessel, in which such a pile is placed, after each draught, we may obtain a competent substitute for a chalybeate spring.---Quarter. Journal, xxxiv.

TO CORRESPONDENTS.

Our numerous communications shall be answered in our next.

Every thing relating to the late LORD BYRON is at the present moment, interesting; and our own activity and industry, in endeavouring to make the PORTFOLIO really valuable and interesting, will be properly appreciated, when we inform our Readers, that an ORIGINAL MEMOIR OF HIS LORDSHIP'S PUBLIC AND DOMESTIC LIFE,---HIS RESIDENCE IN THE GEEEK ISLANDS, and a condensation of every interesting particular in the Life of this GREAT MAN, written bythe EDITOR OF THE PORTFOLIO, will form No 94. It will be accompanied with an Engraving of NEWSTEAD ABBEY, the early seat of the Byron family. This Number will be issued next Saturday, with No. 95, whichwill contain some peculiar popular matter, and an Engraving suited to the PRESENT CHARACTER OF THE AGE..

[ocr errors][ocr errors]
[blocks in formation]

The Naturalist-The Man of Letters -The Fair Sex of our Country-and the Youth of Great Britain---will hail the appearance of an Edition of this Work, uniting in it Neatness of Typography, and Superiority of Embellishments, with the least possible Pricę.

The following unsolicited Encomium is from the European Mag. of June, 1824 :

"This Edition is very respectably and economically printed. Sixteen Octavo Pages of closely printed Matter, and Two Embellishments, for Twopence ! Surely this is a Time for Cheapness!!

XII. MERCHANT'S AND TRADESMAN'S VADE MECUM. The ATTENTION of COMMERCIAL GEN. TLEMEN is respectfully solicited to the NEW MERCANTILE ASSISTANT, GENERAL CHEQUE BOOK, and INTEREST TABLES, a Third Edition of which is just published, price 9s. containing TWELVE COPIOUS AND DISTINCT SETS OF CALCULATIONS; arranged with peculiar neatness, simplicity, and accuracy; designed chiefly as a check on calculations in the hurry of business.---By W. WRIGHT, Sen. Accountant and Agent.

The quick sale of the First and Second Editions of the above Work; the private commendations awarded to the Author; the unqualified approbation expressed by the London Reviewers; its adoption very generally in the Counting Houses and Warehouses of the Metropolis, are circumstances that unitedly attest its value and utility.

With a beautiful Design by THURSTON,

XIII. THE GRAVE OF THE SUICIDE; THE PARTING KISS; and other Poems, by MARIA SOPHIA, Foolscap, 8vo. price 2s. 6d. bds.

A portion of this Volume contains some Stanzas, to which not less sweet Music has been composed and published.

LONDON: -WILLIAM CHARLTON WRIGHT, 65, Paternoster Row, and may be had of all Booksellers and Newsmen.

[SEARS, Printer, 45, Gutter Lane, Cheap side.]

The Portfolio,

Comprising

I. THE FLOWERS OF LITERATURE. II. THE SPIRIT OF THE MAGAZINES. III. THE WONDERS OF NATURE AND ART.

IV. THE ESSENCE OF ANECDOTE AND WIT.

[blocks in formation]

V. THE DOMESTIC GUIDE. VI. THE MECHANICS' ORACLE.

[blocks in formation]
[merged small][merged small][graphic][merged small]

THE ORIGINAL TALE

ON WHICH THIS SPLENDID OPERA IS FOUNDED.

[blocks in formation]
[blocks in formation]

"LISTEN, dame," said Bertram, the old forester of Linden, to his wife, "once for all listen: it's not many things that I would deny to thy asking: but for this notion, Anne, drive it out of thy head: root and branch, the sooner the better; and never encourage the lass to think more about it. When she knows the worst, she submits; and all goes right. I see no good that comes of standing

On which this splendid Opera is founded. shilly shally, and letting the girl nurse

(From the German.)

AMONGST the numerous advantages which a polished state of society receives from the drama, not the least is that description of spectacle which illustrates the popular and highly wrought legends of a country less favoured in the productions of the arts than our own, which embodies strong and forcible composition with the powerful aid of painting and music, and, as in the drama before us, carries this illustration perhaps as far as scenic deception, with vocal music, and an orchestra never witnessed in our theatres, can pursue it. Der Freischutz is, in spite of all our sober-minded criticism on the sometimes monstrous improbabilities of the German drama, a spectacle which no lover of the marvellous, no admirer of grand and imposing scenery, no enthusiast in the harmony of sounds, no man with "music in his soul," no man with the love of the arts, and a sound admiration of the stage and its best uses, will omit to witness: this vast effort and combination of the immense facilities which can be commanded but in some vast establishment like our own, may be seen nightly.

The scene (for our limits, much against our serious and anxious inclination, confine us to one) is that of the incantation, or the casting of the balls, in the presence and under the agency of the infernal powers. The original tale will most powerfully describe this scene of horrors

[ocr errors]

The proprietors of Covent Garden Theatre have, with a liberality that universally characterises their actions, pro. duced this opera in the most splendid and magnificent style possible. Crowded houses have been the result of such unprecedented liberality, and, we trust, the present season will mightily increase their treasures. The following is the original tale.

herself with hopes of what must not be.'

"But Bertram, dear Bertram," replied old Anne, "why not? could not our Kate live as happily with the bailiff's clerk as with the hunter Robert? Ab! you don't know what a fine lad William is; so good, so kind-hearted,-"

"Like enough," interrupted Bertram; kind-hearted, I dare say, but no hunter for all that. Now, look here, Anne: for better than two hundred years has this farm in the forest of Linden come down from father to child in my family. Hadst thou brought me a son, well and good: the farm would have gone to him; and the lass might have married whom she would. But, as the case stands,-no, I say. It's not altogether Robert that I care about. I don't stand upon trifles : and, if the man is not to your taste or the girl's, why look out any other active huntsman that may take my office betimes, and give us a comfortable fire-side in our old-age: Robert, or not Robert, so that it be a lad of the forest.

:

For the clerk's sake old Anne would have ventured to wheedle her husband little longer but the forester, who knew by experience the efficacy of female eloquence, was resolved not to expose his own firmness of purpose to any further assaults or trials; and, taking down his gun from the wall, he walked out into the forest.

Scarcely had he turned the corner of the house, when a rosy light-haired face looked in at the door. It was Katharine : smiling and blushing, she stopped for a moment in agitation, and said :—" Have you succeeded, mother? was it yes, dear mother?" Then, bounding into the room, she fell on her mother's neck for an answer.

"Ah, Kate, be not too confident when thou shouldst be prepared for the worst: thy father is a good man, as good as ever stepped, but he has his fancies; and he is resolved to give thee to none but a hunter: he has set his heart upon it; and be'll not go from his word; I know him too well."-To be continued.

« PreviousContinue »