It may be "a profusion of bold and new ideas expressed with incomparable neatness and brevity," but to my mind it looks extremely like very ordinary balderdash, animated but nonsensical, like a fool in spirits, and by no means new.

The Chronicle, however, pronounces the brown bread excellent mutton, and the Chronicle is infallible. His mind yet unexhausted, again its editor rushes to Vivian Grey, and pours forth his soul on it once more in these words:

"Vivian Grey has been styled a 'Prose Don Juan,' but we are really at a loss to conceive in what the similarity between the two works and their heroes consists, except that both display great talents, and that both Juan and Vivian Grey are wanderers over the surface of high and brilliant society, scorning its follies, ridiculing its peculiarities, and exposing its shallow pretensions when put into competition with the real aristocracy of genius and intellect."

These are in the unbought outpourings of the Chronicle's critical mind; but in the following eulogy from the John Bull, we trace the hand of the author himself-it speaks the partiality of the parent:

"Vivian Grey has been styled a prose Don Juan.' In our opinion, judging at least from the three volumes just published in continuation, Vivian Grey may be much more properly regarded as a new Anastasius. The Author has all the eloquence, the pathos, the pungent wit, and agreeable satire, which distinguished the powerful novel we have named; and if Mr. Hope be really not the author of Vivian Grey, as well as of Anastasius, the latter novel has met with a formidable rival.”

As little Isaac says, "Good Lord! how blind some parents are!" But there is more than the paternal folly here; for the author is not content with lauding his production; he carries the praise to himself— his eloquence, pathos, pungent wit, and agreeable satire-all this, however, be it observed, will be duly charged against him in the bookseller's bill:

which? At length Fitzloom decided on a general war. England must interfere either to defeat the ambition of France-or to curb the rapacity of Russia-or to check the arrogance of Austria-or to regenerate Spain—or to redeem Greece-or to protect Portugal-or to shield the Brazils-or to uphold the bible societies--or to consolidate the Greek church-or to monopolize the commerce of Mexico--or to disseminate the principles of free trade-or to keep up her high character-or to keep up the price of corn. England must interfere. In spite of his conviction, however, Fitzloom did not alter the arrangements of his tour-he still intended to travel for two years. All he did was to send immediate orders to his broker in England to sell two millions of consols. The sale was of course effected-the example followed-stocks fell ten per cent. the exchange turned-money became scarce. The public funds of all Europe experienced a great decline-smash went the country banks-consequent runs on the London-a dozen baronets failed in one morning-Portland-place deserted-the cause of infant liberty at a terrific discount-the Greek loan disappeared like a vapour in a storm-all the new American States refused to pay their dividends-Manufactories deserted the revenue in a decline-the country in despair-orders in councilmeetings of Parliament-change of ministry-and new loan!"

The worst part of the business is the comparison between Vivian Grey and Anastasius-there is something absolutely profane in that. It is as like Anastasius as Aleys's coffee-house with Wyatt's plaster, is like Westminster Abbey.

-That distinguished luminary, Mr. Justice Park, holds, that any representation concerning a man, which causes laughter, is libellous. If this be true, nothing can be conceived more atrociously libellous than the reports of those law proceedings in which Mr. Justice Park has figured as judge. The account of a trial before Park seldom fails to provoke a laugh.

9th. In manfully rejecting a compliment paid to his cautious reforms at the expense of his colleagues, Mr. Peel observed, last night, that," whether a criminal code was altered a year or two sooner or later, was of little importance." It should be added-except to those select few that are hung under it.

There are persons who seem to think, that injury is never handsomely completed until it is crowned with insult. Of this number is The Courier, who, in the triumph of his heart at the defeat of the Catholic claims, speaks of the droves of Irish as if they were beasts; scoffs at their ignorance, and makes merry with their misery, which are the shame and reproach of his patrons; and, finally, brings them into a direct parallel with the slaves in the West Indies.

"The poor droves of Irish, who are stirred up to sedition by the agitators who infest Dublin, and indeed all parts of the Sister Island, no doubt understand, that, emancipation conceded, potatoes, and pigs, and whiskey, will become more abundant than ever; and, in fact, that they will live at their case, in the enjoyment of all they have as yet learned to covet. We need not say, the idea is preposterous. The slaves in the West Indies are not more out in their calculation, when they suppose, that to declare slavery at an end, would be to relieve them altogether from labour."·

If this worthy scribe justly represents the tone of sentiment of his faction, we ought to be surprised that the state of Ireland is not even worse than it is. The parallel between slavery and Catholic disqualification, is happy, and illustrates both the merits of the question and the liberal ideas of the writer. An apt comparison between the scourge of the West Indies, which The Courier has before now commended with extreme unction, and the Protestant ascendancy in Ireland, would give the finishing stroke to this felicitous performance. Abroad, where it is ignorantly imagined that The Courier is the organ of our government, what discreditable inferences must be drawn from these effusions of factious spleen.

STYLE AND DIALECTICS OF THE MORNING HERALD.

"If we were a Bishop, with an income of 20,0007. a year, should we wish for a reform, or any thing that should put in jeopardy our 20,000l. a year. Reasoning (!), therefore, on the same principle, is it not likely that the thoughts of the Portuguese and Spanish bishops are the same as our thoughts (!) would be, supposing that we were a bishop."-Herald, March 16.

This idea has quite disturbed my imagination. In my mind's eye, I see the we-we editor of The Herald, sitting on a tall stool, with a

conical decoration on his head, the meet reward of his parts, and apt emblem of his wisdom. It is not exactly of the mitre form, but more closely resembles the steeple of the church, and, like it, is furnished with a goodly set of bells, which, however, are hung outside, for within all is emptiness; and as the wearer listens to their jingle, he fancies it the immediate inspiration of reason, mistaking the tinkling of his outward brass for the inward voice of Minerva. Hence the strange misapprehension which has led to the use of the words "reasoning," "principle," and "thoughts," in the above peal of the Bob Major.

I remember to have witnessed, at a mess table, after more than the quant. suff. of wine had been taken, a droll altercation between two newly caught Scotchmen, from the fencibles, or some such corps. One of them made what Mathews would term the very severe remark to the other" Sir, you're a dommed blackgaard." Upon which M retorted, "Blackgaard! sir; what sort of language do ye call that, to use to a gentleman?" On the assumption of this last title, the whole company roared out with one accord, and in the manner of expostulation, "Gentleman!" M——, “ Oh, you must not call yourself a gentleman, you know." "I'm as much a gentleman as he is, at any rate," modestly replied the party. Now when we remonstrate with the we editor of The Herald, on his talking of his "reasoning," like Spanish bishops, and his "principle," and his "thoughts," and tell him that he must not imagine such qualities in himself, he will perhaps reply, like M, that "he is as much a reasoner and a thinker as Spanish bishops are;" which assertion, though a sore scandal to Spanish bishops, is one that we cannot take upon us to gainsay.

I had almost neglected to record in my annals, the memorable fact, that there was, on Monday the 12th March, 1827, new style, a sensible theatrical article in the Morning Chronicle, with only one Latin quotation, and that, like the young Miss's baby," a very little one." This looks like reformation; and when the critic has renounced the polyglott, he will be a very agreeable writer. Provided always, that he does not vituperate Madame Vestris, or too extravagantly bepraise Mrs. Humby.

DELICATE INVESTIGATION.

"Guildhall-John Dignan, a labouring man, was charged with stealing twelve and three-quarter ounces of human hair. The complainant, Mr. John Kennedy, of Westmorland-buildings, Aldersgatestreet, human hair manufacturer, said, the prisoner was in his employ, and a few days ago he stole the hair in question, from a bale of French hair, which they had purchased a few days previously, and offered it for sale to Mr. Turner, of Snow-hill. Sir P. Laurie asked the complainant, if he knew the difference between French and other human hair? Witness: Oh, yes; French is a great deal finer than any other; but German is more valuable, on account of the colours imported. Sir Peter: Why are the German colours so valuable? Witness: Because they run lighter than the French; and a light hair untinged with red is the dearest. Sir Peter: How do you know French human hair? Witness: By the smell. Persons conversant APRIL, 1827.

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with the business can tell every nation by the smell in a moment. Sir Peter: Then which of them has the strongest smell? Witness: The Scotch (a burst of laughter, in which the alderman joined) and the Irish. Sir Peter: And which hair carries the most delicate? Witness: That I cannot tell. It is a matter of taste."

It would be well if some of our philosophers, curious in the races, would apply themselves to this subject, and endeavour to ascertain the exact scents of the original breeds. They may then, by smelling a Scotch head, for example, discover the precise crosses which it has undergone, and the various infusions of capillary perfume. This science might occasionally serve to throw light on questions of legitimacy. A learned philosopher might be called to smell a head, and to declare whether it was of the genuine Caledonian, Hibernian, or English odour, or in what proportions adulterated.

19th. A morning paper, favoured with the contributions of Mr. Paul Pry, contains this remarkable piece of news:—

"The Rhenish wines are becoming very popular in this country, especially those produced in the neighbourhood of Johannesberg, the estate of Prince Metternich, and the almost unequalled vineyards of the Prince of Nassau, on the right bank of the Rhine."

To this it may be added, that turtle is becoming very popular in the city of London, especially the green fat; that champagne too is coming into favour; and that a meat called venison is beginning to be relished by gourmands; and further that, as Smith's song has before notified, "pigeon pies of water rats are very seldom reckoned good." All of these we conceive to be unsuspected facts, well worthy of publication; but then care should be taken to prevent the newsmen from bellowing them about the streets, to the torment of our ears, in these words "Great news! great news! Morning Chronicle! Extraordinary intelligence! The Rhenish wines popular! 'specially Johannesberg! Great news! great news!"

Mr. Paulus Pry does not confine himself to telling the public that lobster sauce is eaten with turbot; and that currant jelly is the condiment for hare: he goes further a field for notable facts and rare news, and is good enough to gratify us with accounts of the parties, and fashionable arrangements at Florence. No distance daunts him, and his news comes fresh from every quarter. He would tell you who took tiffin in Lieutenant Ramrod's bungalee, at Tingkamacoo, on the banks of the Ganges. The other day he revealed to us, that Captain Medwin was to have given a dinner party at Florence, on the at half-past six exactly, but that it was postponed in consequence of the death of the Duke of York. Had it taken place, he would have blessed us with the intelligence, what there was at the head of the table, what at the bottom; what side dishes, and who supplied the confectionary. Oh, he's a well-informed man, and such a master of the pen! To-day he acquaints us that Lord Burghersh has given a party at Florence. Think of that, ye people of the earth! And that Lady Burghersh was "attired as a lady of the Westmorland family, taken from a picture in her noble

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father's gallery." "A lady taken from a picture!"-a most incomprehensible proceeding, I must observe. He further intimates, that Lady Burghersh, as the lady taken from a picture, "looked AWFULLY beautiful."

The author of the Preliminary Treatise to the Library of Useful Knowledge, emphatically winds up an eloquent sketch on the pleasure of knowledge, with this forcible argument, ad crumenam. "It is so pleasing, that you would give something out of your pocket to obtain it." This finishing stroke to a very glowing and highly wrought description, strikes me as inexpressibly droll; and I question whether any man who had not drawn his first breath in Edinburgh, could have arrived at the felicitous climax. "You will give something out of your pocket "-there is the brogue in the phrase. The gratification of knowledge is so great, so sublime, that you would give,-aye, you would give, a baubee for it! Language cannot rise higher.

-Let the epicure imagine that he has discovered an exquisite and yet unknown dainty-let him suppose himself revelling in the anticipated exclusive enjoyment of it for many dinners-and let him conceive the shock, the mortification, of suddenly seeing his airy structure of gourmandism demolished, by the publication of the existence and nature of the delicacy, in a Mrs. Rundell's cookery book. The thing is blown. Every body eats it; it is scarce-dear; and he is undone. Similar to this has just been my disappointment. In my last Diary, I remarked on the rarity of a certain quality; and observed, that the true British dunderhead was now seldom to be met with. Well, for some weeks past, I have had my eye on a very promising lord. I noted him as he came out of his egg-shell-as he made his debutand at once marked him for my own. I soon resolved that he should be the support of my Diary; for as he began to toddle, or twaddle, I saw in him the promise of a fund of entertainment, and I revelled in the idea of many a merry bout with him. Here is some one, said I, to supersede the sage Lethbridge; but let us not alarm the game too soon; let him acquire confidence, and the habit of displaying himself without reserve. Well, in the midst of those anticipations, when undisturbed by an apprehension of danger, out comes an article in the Morning Chronicle, giving a scientific description of my young bird of wisdom, and advertising his points and marks with as much exactness as if he were a stray lap-dog, so that no one can fail to recognise him. It is now idle to affect mystery-Lord Winchelsea is the man; but I have done with him. As the monopoly is not mine, say to the Chronicle editor, "What you've touched you may tastehigh-church champion, adieu."

I

It is painful, however, to come to this resolution. I read in the debates his maiden speech, on presenting an anti-catholic petition; I discovered in the space of six lines his scarcely then budding genius, and watched him shooting up like the prophet's gourd, and promising a prodigious pumpkin, which I would one day scoop out, and carve into a goodly No Popery shoy-hoy. But vain are all human caleulations. Yea, he is cut down, in the flower of his youth, by the remorseless editor of the Chronicle. Indeed, it is barbarous to