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calves, I took up the report with the expectation of discovering something curious, and was not disappointed. It having been proposed to petition for the continuation of the principle of the existing Corn Laws,

"The honourable Mr. Winn, in seconding the resolutions, observed, that during the short period he had sat in the House of Commons, he had witnessed the presentation of many petitions unfavourable to the agricultural interest, and in some instances accompanied with not the most respectful language; whilst he had regretted the absence of petitions in favour of agriculture. Any alteration for the general good, he should not object to; but experiments upon a subject like that of the Corn Question, were dangerous; they might be made upon Silk or upon Shipping, but he must deprecate the contemplated experiments in the alteration of those laws-laws which had been productive of much prosperity. If competition was complied with by the allowance of importation of corn into this country, such must be limited, except for bonding. The agricultural interest was a vital interest, which ought not to be tampered withtry experiments (said the honourable member) with any other question, but leave that of agriculture alone. He did not think the owners and occupiers of land would be justified in requiring an average of eighty shillings before importation was allowed; he would rather say, let seventy shillings be the price."

Nothing can surpass this; the substance of which is, "do what you like with my neighbour, but by no means meddle with me. Try what experiments you please on manufactures, but spare the agricultural interest, because they are my interests, and therefore of the very first importance; and as they have been productive of my prosperity, it would be the greatest of all calamities-that is, a calamity to me, to disturb them, for surely heaven and earth would come together if it should so fall out that I should not get my rents."

This honourable gentleman and integral part of the collective wisdom, in continuation, touched on a very pathetic topic. He remarked that the agriculturists lived so far apart, that they could not assemble to discuss their grievances; which reminds one of Sheridan's joke that the mile stones were the worst used things in the world, for that they could not, consistently with their characters, meet to talk over their troubles.

"In conclusion, the honourable member said, that if the inhabitants of this country were to be deprived of employment, to transfer the profits of the soil into the hands of foreigners, dreadful would be the consequence. One, nor yet five prisons, would not be sufficient; men rendered desperate by hunger were not to be controlled; and it would be impossible to correct the mischief that would ensue from the distresses that would follow the free and unlimited importation of foreign corn."

When before did the landholders feel any apprehensions of mischief from the hunger of multitudes? and when before did game-preservers look upon the filling of the jails as a serious consideration?

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A French writer, M. Thibadeau, gives the remarks of Napoleon on the formation of his code of laws, and makes him deliver himself

in this maudlin strain on the proposal that civil death should dissolve marriage. "What! when a criminal has been transported, are not justice and public vengeance sufficiently satisfied? If not, better put him to death. Then his wife may raise a altar of turf in her garden and retire there to weep." Bonaparte was, unfortunately for the mirth of the world, not such a fool as to talk in this delicious strain. He knew very well, that wives never do raise altars of turf in their gardens, and that when they go into their gardens, it is to do something more to the purpose than weeping. The proposed law that exile should dissolve marriage was however a bad law; not because it deprived wives of the opportunity of raising turf altars, and the recreation of running themselves body and bones out at the eyes, over them, but because it, in too many cases, would have offered a premium for crime; for how many men, monsters they should rather be called, would rejoice in a transportation which would fairly rid them of their amiable wives. Some of the ladies, we allow, might rather approve of Napoleon's idea of putting the wretches to death at once, and of the turf altar, and the weeping and all that, but the gentlemen would surely prefer the less sentimental proceeding.

In one of Mr. Canning's speeches against reform, he raises this childish question-which may be started in opposition to every improvement:

"Whether I, born as I am (and as I think it my good fortune to be) under a monarchy, am quite at liberty to consider myself as having a clear stage for political experiments; whether I should be authorized, if I were convinced of the expediency of such a change, to withdraw monarchy altogether from the British Constitution, and to substitute an unqualified democracy in its stead: or whether, whatever changes I may be desirous of introducing, I am not bound to consider the constitution which I find as at least circumscribing the range, and, in some measure prescribing the nature, of the improvement."

The obvious reply is, that the mere accident of our finding a particular state of things does not bind us to perpetuate it. Our inquiry is, whether that state is the best adapted to our welfare; and if it is not so, we should alter it, having regard to nothing but our convenience and advantage. The absurdity of Mr. Canning's question may be illustrated by a paraphrase. Let us suppose him to have drawn his first breath in a pig-stye, and when it is proposed to him to provide himself with a more comfortable abode, to ask

Whether I, born as I was (and as I think it my good fortune to have been) in a pig-stye, am quite at liberty to consider myself as having a clear stage for architectural experiments; whether I should be authorized, if I were convinced of the expediency of such a change, to withdraw the native mud altogether, and to substitute deal floors and Turkey carpets in its stead: or whether, whatever changes I may be desirous of introducing in my dwelling, I am not hound to consider the stye which I find as at least circumscribing the range, and in some measure prescribing the nature, of the improve

ment.'

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In the article on Counsel for Prisoners, in the last Number of the Edinburgh, this extraordinary idea is suggested:

"Howard devoted himself to his country. It was a noble example. Let two gentlemen on the ministerial side of the House (we only ask for two) commit some crimes which will render their execution a matter of painful necessity. Let them feel and report to the House, all the injustice and inconvenience of having neither a copy of the indictment, nor a list of witnesses, nor counsel to defend them. We will venture to say, that the evidence of two such persons would do more for the improvement of the criminal law, than all the orations of Mr. Lamb, or the lucubrations of Boccaccio. Such evidence would save time, and bring the question to an issue. It is a great duty and ought to be fulfilled,-and in ancient Rome it would have been fulfilled."-P. 92, No. 89.

Doubtless B and Sir W C are the two identical ministerial members who, as desired by the Reviewer, have nobly resolved to devote themselves to the public good, and to deserve hanging. Thus, all those questionable transactions which have drawn down so much odium on these illustrious senators, have been in fact part of their plan for trying experimentally the operation of the laws. They have, however, done the thing so extremely well, that their execution would scarcely be a matter of "painful necessity" to any but themselves.

3d. A curious case occurred yesterday at Bow-street. A man was brought before Sir Richard Birnie, for attempting to pass a coun terfeit half-sovereign, and a bad shilling. He pleaded innocence, mentioned the name of the person who had paid him the money, and produced a neighbour, who gave testimony as to the respectability of his character; but Sir Richard looked grave, and despatched an officer to search the prisoner's house, with a special and sagacious injunction to observe the kind of tools that he might find in it. In the mean time Sir Richard seems to have determined, that it was a case of uttering bad money, and to have resolved to detain the accused; but luckily, some one suggested that it would be as well to ascertain first that the money was bad. This truly original idea, which would never have occurred to a magistrate, was adopted; the half-sovereign was subjected to the usual tests, and found a good one! Still, however, there was the case of the shilling to be dealt with, and though Sir Richard would not commit the man for merely tendering a bad shilling, he refused to restore it to him (which the prisoner requested, in order that he might obtain another for it from the person who paid it to him) until it should have been clipped; and he ordered accordingly that it should be forthwith cut in two with the shears. This operation was therefore performed, and the shilling was discovered to be good! The prisoner might here have a little surprized Sir Richard Birnie, by turning round, and laying an information against him for the crime of clipping his majesty's coin.

5th. There is a cant in the newspapers which passeth human understanding. The Chronicle of to-day having announced that Mr. Wynn has given one of his writerships as a prize to be contended for by the boys at Westminster School, observes, that "this donation of

Mr. William Wynn will speak for itself-it appears eminently to combine gratitude towards the seat of his own education, and munificence in the disposal of his patronage, with very enlarged views of policy towards British India." How these enlarged views of policy towards India are made apparent by the donation, for the life of us we cannot discover. The Chronicle would have acted judiciously had it allowed the donation to "speak for itself," as it says it is fully able to do, instead of speaking of it in such rhodomontade terms.*

8th. We once heard a man ambitious of literary fame boast, that he used at one time to write a good deal in the " various newspapers and periodicals;" but, "Sir," he added, "it is really so expensive, that though I had a pretty good fortune, I could not stand it. If you will believe me, The Morning Post charged me 127. 14s. for the insertion of one of my very best articles, though it was scarcely a column in length." This was amateur writing; amateur acting, if we may judge from the subjoined advertisement extracted from The Times of this day, is even more expensive to the parties, that is, if they are ambitious of the first parts:—

"TO THEATRICAL AMATEURS.-A lady of respectability is about to take a Benefit at one of the Theatres Royal, on which occasion the Tragedy of Othello will be performed, with a popular Entertainment. To prevent unnecessary trouble, the following terms are respectfully submitted:-The parts of Othello and Iago, 201. each, for which tickets will be given to the full amount. Other Parts, according to their consequence, will be disposed of. Letters, post paid, addressed to R. M. at Mr. West's library, 81, Great Portland-street, Portland-place, will be immediately attended to."

As all the parts are priced according to their consequence, some, of course, are to be had on very moderate terms. An Emilia will, we suppose, go for half-a-crown; a Roderigo for a whole one; and an officer's commission, or the Doge's dignity, may probably be had for a shilling. The idea of thus putting up the parts for sale does great credit to the ingenuity of the lady; and she would favour the world with some curious evidence of ambition, if she would publish a list of the prices at which the various characters let. We should "admire to know" the price of Desdemona, and to what length an aspiring youth would go for the Lieutenancy of Michael Cassio. We would here just hint to one or two of the amateur actors that they would do well to resist the exaction of any charge for their acting, as they may expect at last to find their own value, like the dunghill in Gray's Inn-lane. Our readers, like the sultan in the Arabian Nights, inquire how did the dunghill in Gray's Inn-lane find its own value? why thus. For a long time the different parishes paid for the removal of their dust, just as amateur actors pay for the exhibition of their awkwardness, and the dustman made an immense depot of dust in Gray's Inn-lane and sold at a good profit as manure, that, for accumulating which, as worthless rubbish, he had been paid. The parish (we think of Marylebone) having learned that the dustman made some money of his dust, suggested, when next the

*We find that this stroke is not of Chronicle origin; but it deserves the disgrace of it, for inserting such stuff without acknowledgment of its source.

contract was to be renewed, that he ought to make no charge for the dust. He acceded. At the expiration of that contract, the parish, which had now some vague idea that its rubbish was of value, required the dustman to pay for the dust; he demurred; they threatened to put it up to auction, and he instantly offered a large yearly sum for it. Thus it would be with some amateur actors, were they to be rated according to their value. Rubbish they undoubtedly are, but as rubbish they are worth a good price, and as rubbish they would obtain it. What houses Mr. R. C. used to draw! Very bad acting is extremely attractive. We could name another more patrician character, who is not now required to pay for his parts-who is at present in the condition of the Marylebone dust when it was taken gratis, but who, like that dust, might be at a premium. They say that he seldom fails to fill the theatre which he honours with his performance.

9th. We take an infinity of trouble to prevent the Hindoo widows from indulging in their ancient custom, sanctioned by the wisdom of ages, of burning themselves, while we suffer another kind of self immolation to be practised under our very noses. It is shocking that the legislature should allow loyal old gentlemen to make sacrifices of their lives by attending Royal funerals in the depth of winter. Two or three distinguished men have already died of assisting at the Duke of York's funeral, and many are now lying in a dangerous state, and the ground work of disease is laid which will probably sweep some more off before the spring is past. What is one widow, burnt sur le champ, compared with this number destroyed by cold? Propriety, loyalty, affection, required the hazard, you will say; the widow urges the same pleas. No old woman of the east could be more fixed in her resolution to encounter the flames, than our venerable Chancellor was resolved to dare the cold from his respect for the departed, Where was Mr. Buxton, and where were the other two or three gentlemen of the profession of humanity when this purpose was avowed? Not a hand was stretched forth to prevent the sacrifice of an old woman on the banks of the Thames, while heaven and earth would be moved for one on the banks of the Ganges! This scandal must be obviated. Mr. Alderman Wood must move in the House of Commons for a report of the number of old gentlemen who have killed themselves by attending royal funerals; and measures must be taken to prevent the recurrence of these rash actions. The Chancellor only escaped by a miracle, that is to say, by a hat. The dean and chapter, who are interested in a fall of bishops, provided no matting for the feet of the mourners, which encountered the cold stones. Lord Eldon, as all the world has been told, prudently stood on his chapeau. One good turn deserves another; he had borne it long enough, and it was but fair that it should bear him at a pinch.

If we are to believe some of our critical brethren, they do mighty odd things. In the advertisement of a book called "the Story of a Life," is a voucher of merit, quoted from the Monthly Review in these exact words:

"We involuntarily follow, and smile, and weep, and recover again, and pause in wonder at the skill of the magician whose wand has such strange influence over our faculties."-Monthly Review.

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