"I have but one objection,' answered I, and that is, I never danced in my life.'

"No! and why did you ask me then? but I suppose,' continued she, 'your devotion to the Muses prevented your acquiring that insignificant accomplishment.'

"I answered this common place, by avowing that I preferred study or converse, to hopping about in the line of beauty.' She then dropt me a curtsey, and left me unsatisfied as to the progress I had made in her acquaintance.

"I balanced my measures, before advancing to the real Zenobia. Would it be encouraging the illusion of the poor lady, to show compliance with her mandates? But, la! what trifling could there be with the feelings of a dame of forty? She had a right, certes, to help me safely out of this exploit, if not to procure me the fruits which my enterprize deserved. All things weighed, I presented myself to the longing eyes of Zenobia. She started on my advancing from the inner room. I bowed; she inclined. I offered to sit-she made room on the couch. I then commenced briskly the attack, as a man of gallantry might have done, by remarking, that the place was exceedingly hot. She answered with equal spirit, that the heat was caused by the throng. And thus we were at it, ding dong, in two seconds, plunging overhead into a warm and animated discourse.

"After being both melted into conformity upon all those interesting points the weather, town, and last novel, I ventured, in a parenthesis, to touch upon her letter, as a thing of no moment, and hinted the unimportant circumstance of its having led me to intrude, where I had no right to come.

"What!' said she, in alarm, have you not been introduced to Mrs. A.?'

"No!' replied I, in pococurante style, but it does not signify, it will do another time. I believe she takes me for somebody else, but it is no consequence.'

666

Oh! but indeed it is,' said she, you could never be admitted to our house, but as an acquaintance of hers. I must introduce you to her as a friend of mine, and then to Miss Freeling; after which you may get cards for our next party.'

"I offered my arm to the good creature, who actually introduced me in style; first to the hostess, as a friend of her own, and then to her éleve, as a friend of the hostess. To the latter I persisted in the farce of going to Lady Cramton's, and took leave of this multitude of converts to my acquaintance, promising to return in an hour.

"I drove about in the highest exultation during that space. To be sure I had acted a very sorry imposture; but what injustice had the whole world not committed, in excepting against my society, on no grounds but the want of a silly passport, a simple countersign, which it scarce could be crime to evade by ingenuity, when no evil design was meditated. Somehow I reconciled it to my conscience, and returned to Mrs. A's. She informed me, that my friend, Wagner, was just gone off to seek me at the other assembly (there I wished him for the night); and added, that she did not know that she had the honour of so engaging a writer's company (meaning Hafiz) till Miss Free

ling informed her of my claims; hoped frequently to have me at her parties, and then whisked off into a literary topic, before I could admit or disclaim the honours heaped upon me; indeed it would have been base compromise of an ally to do so, without consulting her. I quite charmed (charmed was the word) Mrs. A. with my sentiments, and then I posted off to charm another of them."

We have now got this recluse fairly into the throng, and shall sum up his narrative in our own words. The young lady was interested in his sketch of himself, which came in without violence, among the whys and wherefores of his rash adventure. It is probable, that his account was mixed up with touches, that confirmed the impressions which the lover's creed originates from the eyes, face, and outward mien. Be it as it may, she was too high-minded to withdraw from him, as an isolated and helpless stranger, that countenance vouchsafed to him, as a much-courted ambulating poet of the park. Poverty only heightened the romance; and but for one little trifle, would have raised the dignity of his profession; that trifle was, his disclaimer of the pretensions assigned to him. We wonder at his encountering the risk of this renunciation, when the chance of detection was so small. It shows his ignorance of life, otherwise he would have known how common it is to appropriate such waifs of reputation. But we the more admire her, for acquiescing in the overthrow of her hypothesis, without prejudice to the everter. Nor can we strongly condemn her, for not undeceiving those who had been lured into the same belief by her proofs. Her maintaining any mystery or collusion with an engaging stranger, was no doubt highly reprehensible; and were we disposed to be seriously angry with young ladies, for practising any little contraband art or coquetry, when so much of the licensed commodity is sanctioned by the statutes and sections of our most immaculate code of propriety, we should comment with due force, upon her having evaded auricular confession to her governess. By such misprision, Fitz-Henry was smuggled into her father's house, with the regular marks of legality upon him, in hopes of being turned to good account by his importer.

66

It was only a retrieval of his niaiserie, to get up a few sonnets to temper the lady's disappointment, and to vindicate her physiognomical acuteness. The black and leafless trees in front of her winter residence, began to look green again in song," and the very smoky air of the street was balm. It must be allowed, that he had as much cause for inspiration as ever man had, in the transition from gloom, solitude, and despondence, to hope, love, and social enjoyments. He became in time a poet of reputation among a large circle of the amis de la maison, and drew not only emolument as a shareholder in the mines of Parnassus, but was courted by some of his lofty connexions, who professed themselves the patrons of genius, meaning thereby, fortunate emergence from obscurity. The governess, who had raised him from its deep well, descended, like the wolf, in the alternating bucket, sinking lower and lower, till he reached the summit of his wishes; and by marriage with her éleve, consigned the ambitious Zenobia to perpetual subordination in the family.

THE GONDOLA.*

THIS is one of those publications that will be attended with loss to all partics-loss of temper to the author, loss of money to the publisher, and loss of time to the public. The latter party, we suspect, will suffer least; the fraction of time which the readers, entitled to be called the public, will bestow upon the Gondola, is very small. The author is a smart, clever writer; and having succeeded in two or three sketches, straightway proceeds to substantiate his claim to authorship, by the publication of a volume. There are two very happy hits in the Gondola-the rest is all leather and prunella, which may serve for the present to bolster up the author's quality as author, but which must quickly pass away from its actual form, to serve those ulterior ends for which so many works appear, from their rapid passage through the transitory state of book, to be as it were immediately destined. The sal et piper of the retail dealer, we fear, must quickly soil the fair leaves of the Gondola. One very clever piece of narrative -worthy of Goldsmith and better times-we must snatch from the greasy fate which awaits all the rest of the volume, save, perhaps, the Sketch of Bitton. The Confessions of a Lover is in truth the history of a pick-pocket, which the author has sketched with an airy pencil.

CONFESSIONS OF A LOVER.

"Fair ladies, do not let this heading startle you. I do not mean to kiss and tell. I have no such stuff in my thoughts;' of which you may be fully convinced if you will condescend (as the tradesmen say) to favour me with your orders

'I have a tongue that scorns to speak

Of her poor master's bliss,

And clings in silence to his cheek

Mute witness of a kiss.'

• " My object is of a nobler nature. I wish, in these my confessions, to stand up as a beacon-lover, to warn those who are entering upon the sea of life that there are rocks a-head-rocks on which my little bark of love has split, and against which they must be upon their guard. I have, at least, experience to guide me; and experience in amatory matters goes a great way. My birth, parentage, and education can be of no consequence to any one, and, therefore, I may as well state them. Be it known, then, that I was born in the year 1797; that my father was a celebrated man, who bore away the palm from all competitors in the making of that necessary article called breeches, and that my mother was equally celebrated for wearing them-but only to patronize her husband's trade, I'll be bound for it, for a milder woman, excepting always when she had taken a little too much, never breathed. Of my education, perhaps, it would not become me to speak, considering the wonderful progress 1 made; but still I must say that the parish certainly did their best for me, and I must as candidly acknowledge that they never had a cleverer boy in their school. Reading, I allow, was not my forte, but I was absolute at ring-taw. Writing was well enough whilst left to my pot-hooks, but the hangers (hang 'em!) disturbed me yet this was no wonder-I was an honest, straight-forward lad, and did not like swerving from a direct line. In arithmetic I made great advances: the worst of it was, we had a very ignorant teacher, who asked me how many eight times twelve made, and I, of course, answered, two hundred and four, which know was right; he, however, was obstinate, and, I have reason to think, jealous, as I became first boy at the Jower end of the class; but, with all his spite, he could not get any one to match me at dumps. Of this enough.

"My father and mother, somehow or other, did not attend to business, and wished to travel. The English government hearing this, would by no means allow them to travel at their own expense, and voluntarily came forward, on account of my father's

The Gondola. 1 Vol. 12mo. London, Relfe, 1827.

celebrity, to defray their passage to I forget the name of the place, but it was, some Bay at the other side of the water, and I was left in the care of my aunt Sarah, a very virtuous but extremely passionate woman. I was then fifteen, and from that time may my love-adventures be dated. My aunt always expressed her dislike to see lazy he-creatures about a house, and so she had only a girl to look after her domestic affairs. Now Sasan, who was about a year older than myself, had a very proper and laudable curiosity about things in general, which my aunt, however, by no means approved of; but, as it appeared to me praiseworthy, I encouraged it. The fact is, we were admirably matched, for she would even leave her work to listen to a secret; and I, at that time, for the soul of me, could not keep one. This was attributable entirely to my youthful purity of principle, because I always argued with myself thus:- If you have a good secret, Ned, tell it; for it would be selfish indeed to confine good to your own bosom: if you have a bad one, tell it, for the sooner you get rid of evil the better.' As aunt Sarah thought it did not become me to be familiar with her domestic, Susan and I were obliged to have recourse to stratagem; and, when I had any little thing to disclose, I used to wait until I conjectured my aunt was asleep, and then creep up stairs to Susan's room. This occurred very frequently, till, one night, as the devil would have it, my aunt, by some accident, heard me, and came into the chamber. In vain Susan protested she never knew I was in the room; in vain I pretended to be walking in my sleep, aunt Sarah was inexorable. She gave my head an admonitory tap with the poker, and turned poor Susan into the street. This holds out an admirable moral lesson to young ladies and gentlemen, as it teaches them by all means to avoid telling or hearing secrets until they are quite sure that their aunts or guardians are safely snoring. I was very sorry for Susan-and so I was for my head, but, as my aunt behaved pretty well to me afterwards, I thought it only grateful to remain with her until some opportunity of bettering my condition should occur. When I had nothing to do at home, it was my custom to stroll about the more crowded thoroughfares of the metropolis, for the purpose of warning gentlemen of the danger they incurred by letting the ends of their silk handkerchiefs dangle from their coat-pockets; but, seeing that this did not reform them, and that they continued as careless as before, I resolved to strike at the root of the evil, by abstracting these tempting baits whenever I saw them thus exposed. Example, thought I, is better than precept; and these demoralizers shall find that, to indulge in the miserable vanity of exhibiting a silk handkerchief, they shall not be suffered to tempt the poor and hungry to commit sin, and teach the young idea how to steal. I looked upon this occupation as a public duty, and, like a true patriot, sought no other reward than the applause of my own conscience. My scheme for the prevention of crime succeeded admirably in those places which I most frequented, where not a handkerchief was to be seen after a little time, every man appearing to have an eye to his neighbour's hand and his own pocket.

"Carelessness of any sort I detested, and always felt determined to punish it. One day, as I was sauntering along Piccadilly, a gentleman, on a handsome bay mare, seeing, I suppose, that I was an honest-looking gentlemanly young man, requested me, very politely, to walk her up and down, whilst he went into a shop to make a purchase. was always too good-natured to refuse granting a favour, even when I expected to be paid for it, so instantly took the bridle, and led the mare to the corner of Sackville-street, where a thought suddenly struck me. This gentleman,' said I to myself, will lose his mare, if he don't mind what he is about; for it isn't every one who would be content to walk her up and down without getting on her back, and, when once there, it must be impossible to answer for the consequences.' In short, I made up my mind that he was sure to lose the mare some day or other, if not something of more value, through his confidence in strangers, and that it would be doing him a real service were I to mount her myself and ride off; for I felt assured that a man who would leave his mare with a person he knew nothing of, would be very likely to trust his whole fortune to an acquaintance; and I was determined, by making him experience a trifling loss, to put him on his guard, and save him from the pang of having, by his own imprudence, reduced his wife and family (if he happened to possess them) to beggary and despair. I never did any thing yet without having a good object in view, and it is this consoling reflection that has cheered me, when others, who could not enter into my feelings, considered that I was committing a bad action. Such are the judgments of your mindless men; but, thank my stars! I value them not a rush. As soon as the certainty that ĺ might benefit a fellow-creature flashed across me, I sprang into the saddle, and

walked the mare, carelessly, as far as Brewer-street, where I turned short round, and trotted her in good style. I rode directly to the house of a friend, who always had so much confidence in my honour that he never refused taking any thing I brought him, and exchanged the mare for 271. which made my conscience perfectly easy, as I had heard, from a child, that exchange is no robbery. Having bought a new suit of clothes, I remained at home for a fortnight after this, not wishing to appear vain by sporting them whilst the gloss was on; and, at last, when I did go ont, I found that my predilection for Piccadilly had quite worn off, and that the Strand, which I used to think very little of, had supplanted it in my affections. I left my aunt's without saying a word, as I wished to save her the pain of bidding adieu, and took ready-furnished lodgings in Cecil-street, where I passed myself off as a young military officer of fortune. This I considered a piece of justice that every man should pay to his own feelings, for is it not proverbial that self-degradation is despicable? and must it not then be evident that self-exaltation is praiseworthy? Assuredly. During the last fortnight I passed at my aunt's, I cherished a pair of moustachios, which, with a military frock-coat and gilt spurs, settled the business at once; and I honestly confess that these auxiliaries of an officer never, perhaps, had an opportunity of appearing to such advantage before; for although, as you perceive, I am rather short, Nature certainly has striven her utmost to give the world assurance of a man," by making me nearly as broad as I am long. My face, too, is naturally so engaging and well-formed, that even the ravages of the small-pox, which have left the deepest proofs of their attack, could not efface its beauty. But I will say no more on this head, lest it should be mistaken for vanity. I had only been in my lodgings two days, when I perceived a lady of very captivating appearance at an opposite window, reading, and I felt an irresistible desire to become better acquainted with her. After a time, she raised her eyes, perceived me, and, suffused with blushes, retired to the further end of the apartment. That day I saw no more of her; but the next morning I caught a glimpse of her in dishabille, and was more enraptured than ever. Two carriages stopped before the door during the morning. 'She is rich,' I exclaimed; and my love knew no bounds. By degrees, I found she looked graciously upon me, and at last smiled-actually smiled. Ho! ho!' thought I, the game is my own, if played properly;' and then ventured a nod. It was returned-as I am a Christian man it was. And now I set about bribing a servant, who undertook to be the bearer of some verses which I had copied from an old magazine, but which I passed off as my own, at the same time making suitable apologies for their being so indifferent. The following day she gave me one of her best smiles, and, thus encouraged, I ventured to solicit an interview, which after many excuses she granted. I found her very condescending, although she spoke of the Duke this, my Lord that, and Counts and Countesses with whom she was intimately acquainted; but had not been with her more than half an hour, when Captain Rwas announced. I had no time to withdraw, and so screwed up my courage, and was introduced to him as Lieutenant Thornton. He looked at me intently, which I have no doubt proceeded from admiration; and, bowing respectfully, sat down and conversed apart, in a whisper, with the lady, who, however, could not conceal the interest she took in me, for she turned every now and then to steal a side-glance, which, I need not say, was returned most tenderly. I conjectured he was telling her some ludicrous story, for they both laughed very much, and looked at me more than ever, so I laughed too, but at what, I knew no more than the dead. The conversation, at length, became general, and I was exceedingly witty, for they laughed immoderately at every thing I said.

On a sudden, the captain exclaimed, 'Oh! Maria, knowing you are fond of poetry, I copied a few verses from a book that I met with to-day, which I think will please you;' then taking out his pocket book, he handed her a paper, which she began to read. Ah!' thought I, if these verses are better than mine, I'll eat them.' When she had perused the lines, I asked, in the politest terms, whether I might be allowed to see them; determined, in my own mind, not to spare them. Graciously smiling, she gave the paper into my hands, and I was preparing a critical face for the occasion, when my eye rested upon,

'If art could ever lend a charm

To her whom Nature made so fair,-'

and I immediately recognised my own adopted, but ungrateful magazine-verses. I never was much accustomed to blushing, so I returned the accursed Bath-post sheet, and changed the conversation, but I was not near so droll as I had been before. Just, however, as I was recovering my spirits, the captain asked me, in a careless