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ma vourgneen, that I found it difficult to comprehend, that he only wanted a trilling bribe for my release. I kept assuring him that I had landed from the packet, and was looking out for an hotel to sperid the night in ; offering him, at last, half-a-crown if he would conduct me to one. The silver had a wondrous effect upon his organs of language, for he began to enumerate several; asking first, would I go to the Waterford hotel—but that, Jack, was too near the waterside: and might again bring me in contact with the pirates—then, would I go to the Hibernian! I answered eagerly, yes—but then he explained, that he could go no further than the river, for that the Hibernian was a great way over the water. I now found out what the joker meant; but was no way disposed for another sea-voyage to Hibernia just then. I despaired of getting much ont of him; and contented myself with asking by signs and words the name of the street before us. He said it was Great Britain-street, and may be it was the Enniskillen hotel I was looking for. I almost imagined him gifted with second sight, on his utterance of these two names; and though I no more thought it probable that such an hotel was to be found in these parts, than that I was then in King George's dominions ; still I resolved to avail myself of a guide endowed with so much instinct, and signified my wish to follow him.
He seized my portmanteau, and led the way, telling me that he came from the north himself--no doubt! from the North Pole, or thereabouts, I shonld think; and that there were not a finer set of men than the Engliskillers,* who were orange-men every murtherous son* of themi, and were the only people to keep down the Papishes and Crappiesavishes. I found him getting eloquent in praise of this Mohican tribe of red men, in whose bloody feats he took so barbarous a delight; and would have given him the slip, had it not been for my valise. On crossing over a long street, I read distinctly over the door of a house, “ Enniskillen Hotel,” which threw me into no sinall perplexity. Where the deuce could I be? in the States, or Great Britain, or Enniskillen, or Dublin? And yet under the peculiar circumstances in which I had arrived, it was impossible for me to inquire, without subjecting myself to the cruellest treatment as a run-away-a spyan informer-should my predominant impressions, that is, the evidence of my senses, be verified. I therefore quietly followed my guide into the passage; determined to express no suspicious curiosity, but to be regulated by what I might happen to hear. My conductor explained to the American waiter, that I was a great British jontleman, who wanted a place in the Firmonach coach; and that he had brought me there from the packet-office. The waiter bowed and scraped as soon as he heard that I was a great gentleman, and exchanging some foreign words with my guide, took charge of my luggage, requesting to know whether I would go by the Killingshandrag + coach, or by the mail. I answered, by the latter; and gave him the fare to book me in the morning ; be told me I could have supper and a bed there, and plenty of time to rest myself, if I was weary after my voyage, as the mail would not start till eight the following evening. I coincided
* Probably Enniskilleners and mother's son.--Ed.
in every thing he proposed ; and eren mustered resolution enough to ask, in an apparently indifferent manner, what o'clock it was? he answered, about one. This was rather startling to a man who had heard one o'clock after sunset so many long hours ago at sea, and never seen the day break since: however, I acquiesced in returning to sleep, as he suggested, so soon as I should have supped-breakfasted, he sbould have said. I ordered tea, with rump-steak and oyster sauce but he knew of no such steak; he had very fine oysters indeed, if I would have any. For fear of exposing my further ignorance of their cookery, I assented to the oysters, especially if he had any of the native. He brought up some as large as saucers ; and on my asking him for the native, he gave me to understand that the stuff in the decanter was the real native. I could scarce conceal my astonishment; but anxious to conciliate the good feeling of this patriot, who spoke warmly in praise of his native mountain dew, I poured out a goblet of clear crystal water, as I thought, and applying it to my lips, emptied a stout glass-full into my throat, before I was aware of its fiery nature. I really felt as if my whole inside were suddenly scalded, and my lungs melted in the caustic menstruum: as soon as I could, I roared out that I was poisoned; but the waiter said, it was nothing at all, but the goodness of the crater, (what perversion of terms ! no doubt he meant the burning lava from some volcanic crater in his native mountains.
After breakfast I really felt inclined for a doze, and telling the waiter not to call me till dimer-time, which I supposed would be about three o'clock, retired to my bed, where, for the first time since leaving London, I enjoyed the comfort of getting into bed without my clothes on. You may imagine I slept most luxuriously after my fatignes.
The waiter rapped at my door about half past two, and told me it was within a short time of dinner, as I had bespoke it. I dressed in good style, Jack, taking the precaution of changing my suit, and mounting a pair of moustaches, in which even the waiter scarce recognized me; for he asked, was I the young gentleman who had come last night, and ordered dinner at three; I told him I
but he was not satisfied till he had inquired of the chambermaid, to whom I overheard him say, that he was sure I was a foreigner, and that he had never seen any one's beard grow so fast as mine did.
After dinner I strolled out to reconnoitre the public buildings, and to try and gain some information of the place where I was, without putting so ridiculous, if not dangerous a question in plump terms to any body. The first place of note I saw, was their Newgate; I thence found my way to one of their bridges, and kept along a fine terrace raised over the river, till I came to a magnificent building, which I was told was the custom-house. Not a single vessel lay abreast of its quay, nor did any bustle appear there, more than in another place. At first I imputed this to the want of trade, but I soon amended that supposition, when I reflected upon the nature and use of duties, and the American principle of a free trade. Their custom-house is a mere ornament to the state, that imposes no import duties. Similarly their superb docks and basons, as large as the India Company's, were merely constructed to show off their blocks of fine granite, and to aniuse boys with sailing little boats in ; 'not for the detention of bonded consignments. I saw large Hocks of water-pigeons sailing in them. A little lower down the river, I perceived some business going on, and approaching, found that it was a vessel shipping pigs and cattle ; and by a board hung at her ladders, I learned that she was going to set sail for Bristol. Here then was an opportunity of probably returning to Old England ; but the fear of being asked for a passport, as well as the length of a voyage, that required such a stock of beef and pork as I saw hoisted on board, determined me to wait at least the opportunity of a steamer, and in the mean time to finish the adventure, by visiting this Enniskillen, to which I had so unaccountably been directed.
I was not quite satisfied with the observant looks of many fellows in this quarter, and began to imagine that my person had already been advertised as an eloper from the packet, and that many were on the look out to secure the reward. As I passed along, I listened, with ears cocked to both sides of the street; and though I heard many words familiar to me, yet such was the medley produced by the variety of tongues and languages, with which I knew the United States to abound, that I could not gather the sense of a single sentence, except that perpetual one of the beggars, who swarm the streets, “ A cush lo mo cree,”—“Give me a ha'penny;" and this only because they took care to repeat it in as many languages as they could, that no one might misunderstand their meaning. Of course, I opened my lips as seldom as I could, for fear of being betrayed by my Cockney accent; but one fellow, who pestered me in tolerable English, I drew under an archway, and presenting him a shilling, demanded, in an under tone, if he was really an United man, hoping to find in him a countryman. He looked most insidiously at me, and replied, “Well! since your honour” (taking me for a magistrate) “ pays so well for telling, I don't care if I confess, that I was an United man once; but am now thinking of turning my quoat, and reading my cantation." Whether he meant turning a penny by begging cant, I know not; but it was now clear to me, that I was in the United States. This fellow dodged me for a long time, and pointed me out to several importunate spies, who did all they could to provoke me to speak, which I prudently refrained from, merely handing them a few pence, by way of bribe to forbearance: at length their number increased to a mob of some twenty, which alarmed me so much, that I ventured at last to open my mouth, and call over a thing like a hackney-coach and pair-but whether of horses or bonasses I vow I do not know. Their driver was a singularly deformed beggar, with a face blue as indigo; but he understood my direction to the Enniskillen hotel, and freed me from my persecutors. As we drove on, I tried to gather some elucidation from the inscriptions over the shops; but they were generally such uncouth appellations as Martoch O'Donohoo; Eneas Macgillicuddy: coupled to certain ambitious designations of trade, such as Pantecknice, and Phusitecknicon, that I could gather but little notion of the country of the artist, or nature of his art. It had become quite dark, before I began to suspect the coachman of practising upon my ignorance. On pulling his check, and asking him whither he was driving“ To Enniskerry, to be sure," replied he ; “Where else?” I could see the villain affected misprision of my terms. However, there was no
remedy but ordering him back; so that it was near seven 'before I reached my hotel.
It was not long before the mail-coach appeared at the door, on which I read, in gilt letters, “ Enniskillen.” Every thing determined me on prosecuting my journey—there was a possibility that it might be the very place to which I had originally intended to go, though not in this roundabout way. The waiter had told me, that it was on an island—that might be Ireland—and my fare be only to the sea-port where we were to embark. But supposing we were only advancing into the interior, to New Enniskillen, and that I was now in New Dublin, the capital of Nova Hibernia, as I began to surmise; yet how could I withdraw from proceeding, without awakening mistrust? And would it be safe for me to remain in a place where I had already excited so much notice, and where every hour threatened to discover my retreat to my abductors ? Could I depend upon the watchman's honour? and might not informations at this moment be lodging against me by the rascally coachman and mendicants? These considerations, Jack, were those that influenced my advance--and though I am thereby brought into the wilds of Canada, yet who knows but that it may be all for the best? If detected in New Dublin, I might have been hung, or sent to the hulks: here, after a time, I may effect my escape to Montreal, or Quebec; and there claim, from the British Consul, to be sent back again to my native country.
We drove to the post-office, which is a sumptuous palace, in the court of which the mails assemble; but I saw nothing worth noting, except that they drive four-in-hand, like ourselves, and have their guards and coachmen tricked out in scarlet, as we have ours. the sole inside passenger, and the night was dark as pitch; so that as we proceeded through the streets, I could remark nothing but the lamps, growing gradually fainter, and more distant, till at last they ceased entirely; and it was impossible to distinguish more than the ground in advance of the horses, lighted as it was by the coachlamps. Whether the houses on each side were brick, stone, or wood, I must leave to future peregrinations to determine—but it is a monstrous shame for the apothecaries to shut up shop so soon-one would think there was a curfew law among them, for during half the night I saw no spark of light, but at the inns where we changed horses. This monotony of gloom threw me into a sound sleep, that lasted till the coachman roused me to breakfast. “ Where are we now?” exclaimed I, starting up. 66 In Cavan," returned he. “ What! is this New Cavan ?” said 1, searchingly. “ Aye! its the new Cavan, sure enough," answered he. On stepping out I discerned, in the mist of the morning, the difference between a new and old town. You will be surprised, Jack, to hear, that a church, a gaol, a barrack, a hospital, and an ion, constituted the whole of this new town. This reminded me of the Spaniards taking possession of South America, by erecting a cross for a church, and a gibbet for a jail; and then christening the infant settlement Ciudad, by some adjunct of the old continent. But, I had no idea that the United States were so newly colonized as this paucity of buildings would imply. The breakfast was a miserab!
jon makeshift of a half-starved country; and though I had it all to mi
"off, at in truth, there was no superfluity. As we advanced, I fel:
'no conMARCH, 1827
moment the dreariness increasing, wbich a man, who has been bred all his life in a populous city, must experience, on being, as it were, dropt out of a balloon into a desert. Sometimes for a mile together not a house or a human creature met the eye; nothing but mountains, heaths, downs, moors, and wilds, such as we read of in the primitive days of our Saxon ancestors. The marshes and swamps seemed fresh from chaos, and the valleys were yet undrained of the waters left by the deluge. All seemed to me one intraversible jungle. When we approached a wood, or plantation, the trees were quite dissimilar from those in our parks; they all appeared to be of the cocoa-nut or yew tribe, such as I have seen in pictures—no wonder it should be called the new world!
About eleven o'clock we crossed a bridge, and drove up a dirty street, in which the coach stopt, as I thought, to change horses. I saw my luggage taken out, and the coach emptied, without saying a word that might betray my being a stranger in the land. At length, after waiting half an hour at the office, gazed at and gazing, I inquired from a fellow in a frieze coat, whose eye had been for some time following all my motions, how soon the coach would return?“ Is your honour (very civil for a republican) “ going back?" demanded he, in reply. » "No," answered I; though without knowing any thing precise on that head. “ Becaze there is no quotch, but she, thaf goes back to Cawan, laves this the day. Myself has been thinking," continued he, after marking my stupefaction, “ thaf your honour may be the strange this gentleman as is expeck there below at the seay; and af so, I'll whip your honour, in a crack, to Bundoron, for l’ve as sweet a bit o'blood, and as nate prutty a jauntee-car, as any in the world." Here then toe was I again liable to be perplexed with that confounded identity of names in the New and Old World. These Yankee plagiarists have copied, verbatim, whole patches of the map of Great Britain ; and I do not doubt, that if I looked for a new London, or Richmond, or Thames, I should find them in some part of New England. It became, evident to me, by this man's naming the very place which was to have been the extent of my trip, that Jonathan had taken equally unwarrantable liberties with the map of Ireland, without any tenderness to copy, right, or the convenience of travellers. Some of our old cross-rop* signs, or decayed mile-stones, would be an invaluable acquisition hewa. I did not place much stress upon this fellow's bundoran; but *'.e temptation of getting to the sea, was sufficient to induce me to give up my seat in the coach, and to gain the coast at all hazards. I now state my surmise, that the only sea which he intended to designate, was one of their extensive lakes, in sight of which I every day roam; but no sail, no steam-boat, no British man of war, ever greets my eye; a few insignificant canoes, or cots as they are called, alone dark , its expanse.
But to proceed-this self-offered guide promised to drive me : such a short time, and for so reasonable a sum, to the sea-side, that I
agreed to trust myself to him, if he could but get my valise and bumbrella out of the coach-office. This he did with amazing de sterity; rancd no wonder! for I found him to be a Cherokee, or Jer. O'Keefe, “ To Eras written on the shaft of his car. This car was nothing the villaihurdle, on which we sat back to back, cantering thrigh this