one who enters a picture gallery, quite unabashed at the glances of the portraits, yet reverentially, and with the hope of gratification in his aspect. Life would have been a blank to him without society, and no one could more strictly worship the rules that tend to refine it. But, nevertheless, he was the veriest republican in conviviality that could be; for he admitted of no degrees in a drawing-room. He instantly levelled himself to the smallest in company, and paid no more deference to the highest pretensions than to the most unassuming claims; not even to fine women would he allow one jot more superiority than to the humblest candidate in the room. He deemed it a sneaking part to ingratiate himself with the weaker vessel; for he had no questionable maxims to inculcate, no ulterior views beyond mere cheerfulness; therefore, he did not seek tools in the other sex, but companions; and in the simplicity of his heart contended, that they were not to be looked upon as grown children, and that those foibles ought not to be flattered which have induced men of gallantry to rank them as such.

Sam was further distinguished from a man of gallantry in being cruelly deficient in answering the minauderies of the fair, who tried to make him one. A lady's fan or glove might drop twenty times without creating a pause in his conversation; if it was more inconvenient for the lady to stoop, he would pick it up, and present it, but always without compliment or parenthesis; for he hated breaks in a dialogue, especially if they were artfully introduced; it was like the wilful snapping of a guitar-string in the midst of a melody. Again, his service to the ladies always went to the extent required, and no farther; if a lady fainted, he would chuck the due portion of cold water in her face, and then consign her to female hands, without hanging over her to stamp his imagination with monumental images, and to compose premature elegies. It was, therefore, time lost to try tricks with one who had such discretion as always to render the legally prescribed service, and no more. In cases of suffering, it mattered little whether it were an angelic creature or a puppy-dog; Sam's act was still that of a kind physician, whatever degree of anxiety he might feel for one more than the other. Some looked upon him as cold-hearted, because, while others turned with paraded solicitude, Sam had only done the needful, and made no more of the accident than it was worth, refusing to squander lavishly upon one object an overabundant stock of that sympathy that belonged in common to all suffering creation.

One would have thought that this defect of politesse, or rather this impartial urbanity of manner, would have excluded him from general favour; but it was no such thing. It caused him to steer clear of the shoals upon which others founder; for, thanks to the good sense of the softer sex, he was a more general favourite than half the cajoling, intriguing fellows that buzzed about them. Neither were there any jealousies in regard to one who seemed to have no exclusive partialities. No husband or brother secretly cursed him for his insinuating ways; no wife looked askance at him for seducing her husband from home. He was the friend of both sides of the house at once, and little miffs were sure to be forgotten the moment Sam's honest face illumined the hearth; not that he ever sat as umpire in family differences, but he had the enviable power of drawing off the thoughts from gloating upon

morbid fancies; of introducing a new train of pleasurable ideas; and of reconciling every one to himself, by calling forth his powers of amusing, till he made the very heart swell with the buoyancy of selfsatisfaction, and then rise into the heavens with the expansion of benevolence.

But though in company he professed liberty and equality in their greatest latitude, he was not free from an involuntary preference to the society of ladies; they were, in truth, the aristocrats of his community. But there was nothing crafty or political in his devotion; no compromise of principle; no hope of reward for allegiance; no hankering after loaves and fishes. He did not court them as rulers of the roast or comptrollers of the tea-pot; and though a constant diner-out, he never purchased a dinner by adulation to any of them. Aware of his bias towards female society, he did all in his power to restrain it ; but what could he do? The old man was strong in him, and his early prejudices, like those of a forsaken creed, were active long after his abjuration. Besides, there was something in the intellect of both sexes which divided his ideas, about the majesty of the people and the vox Dei, which his republican soul heard and felt in mixed assemblies. He thought it might be that there was one set of ideas in men, and another in women; and that these, like the opposite electricities, attracted each other, while, on the contrary, there existed a repulsive influence within certain bounds, between ideas emanating from the same In his heart he doubted not but that his submissiveness was compensated by an equal deference on the part of the adverse sex, and he the less reluctantly paid his qualified homage to the petticoated half of the world.

sex.

It was a bright evidence of the goodness of the human heart, that such a disposition should make its way as rapidly as it did; but it was no less strong presumption of the fickleness of that heart, that it should so quickly withdraw its kindness from the object it had cherished. How it came about, poor Sam! that thou wert all at once forsaken, thy pleasant ways forgotten, and no pleader left to remind the ungrateful of the good that thou hadst done them, is a tale that will not throw credit upon any one. It is a tale that thou never wouldst have told of thy fellow man. And though thy big heart must have often swollen with the sense of unmerited neglect, no one ever heard thy complaint, or ever found out that thou hadst conceived bitterness for their ungrateful desertion! Wherever thou art, oh! become not a misanthrope, but continue to dispense those gentle charities of which nature made thee her almoner! and though it is a something to have the heartstrings wrung from the objects round which they had twined, yet remember that a spirit like thine is made to diffuse itself largely, and to sow blessings with a liberal hand on every, however barren, soil! What better comfort canst thou promise to thyself? What more healing balm ?

We have undertaken to relate Sam's fall, and, as historians, shall do our best to account for the circumstance; but when it comes to the point, there is something so odd and capricious in the world's proceeding, that we dread, for the sake of our own credit, to give the statement, and to draw our own conclusions, lest the accused world should start up, and deny the imputation, and dare us to the proofs. The

facts, however, are undeniable. Sam has fallen from the sphere in which he shone, and no one knows what has become of this general guest since the time in which his welcome was withdrawn. They saw the last of poor Sam when they discarded him; no one could give a better reason for this cruel conspiracy than his neighbour, and that was at best a pitiful acquiescence in the sentiments of others.

To go back to the origin of this confederacy, we must record the existence of two beings, as ill-organized for social intercourse as Sam was harmoniously adapted to that end. They were a brother and sister, of the name of Trapp, who had pushed their way into this pleasant throng, and strove hard against the stream to maintain their footing there; for neither had a coalescing turn, and both had mean and furtive designs. They began by courting Sam's society, as a steppingstone to other connexions, and their attentions increased, in proportion as they found it a passport to general notice. Sam was deceived by their civilities. While drinking Trapp's claret, he could not conscientiously suspect, that Trapp was merely using him as a stalkinghorse; but, as an open-hearted man, he fancied that these demonstrations proceeded from growing inclination, and he sought to requite them by a corresponding good-will. When his more mistrusting friends refused to chime in with his new associates, he did all that could be expected from a warm-hearted ally, and at length, by dint of good turns, brought the Trapps to be tolerated among his sect.

It may be that he outstepped the bounds of prudence in prosecuting a good intention, and that he showed himself too warm an advocate in the cause of persons whom he knew so little of; and it might be that this uncalled-for good helped to rivet the suggestions that were afterwards flung out, of Sam's partiality to Miss Trapp, a lady who must now come forward, to yield a clue to the explanation sought. And so, Alicia Trapp, spinster, step forth! cull up your best looks, and put on your most imposing attire, and stand at the bar of good-fellowship, and state why as genial a companion as ever lived should be blackbeaned at your request? But, first of all, dismiss that tall, bambooed footman, who stalks behind you, like the guardian giant of a damsel in chivalrous romance, and seems to intimate that you cannot cross the street without danger to your charms! Be assured that you are safe in this refined and discerning age! And now, if you would but raise that deep veil of yours for one instant till we have inspected those formidable features, you may, with the full sanction of the whole court, drop it again for ever! As for your mincing step, retain it, in God's name, with the rest of those acquired graces to which it is so much akin; and continue wisely to study every affected air that can possibly disguise the whim of nature, who was certainly doing journeywork for some Dutch virtuoso when she compounded your ensemble ! But forbear to prejudice your own case in those gruff gutturals; fee a practitioner to relate the facts, and save your modesty the repetition of those sundry little attentions with which you would have grafted Sam's juicy heart upon the withered core of your own; by the enumeration and perversion of which you would have persuaded the world that Sam had trifled with your affections, when the truth is, that you have none to trifle with; that you but gave in a most fraudulent schedule, when you returned advances of the same to the account of honest Sam.

Your heart did not break through his default, for why? There were never any issues, nor any outlays of feeling that could have caused a failure in that lifeless concern.

It argues more for Sam's good nature than a host of assertions, that he could have been suspected of an attachment to Miss Trapp, for there were so many contrasts between them, that it must have puzzled the best casuist, to find any one cause of affinity or mutual attraction, between two beings of such opposite elements. The most obvious of these contrasts, arose from her snarlish disposition, which loved to gather food to growl over, from all the repositories of scandal in the parish. Of course she collected the garbage of The Age and Bull, as if it formed the substance of mental recreation in this life. She flitted and buzzed about like a large blue-bottle fly, leaving nothing but corruption wherever she alit; and it was as much as Sam could do, to neutralize the effects of her tainting touch. But he did often stop the excursive career of the plague which she had spread; and by confining it to one spot, by sifting and fumigating the infected object, he frequently removed the danger; and proved that the only quarantine to be enforced, was a rigid abstinence from such sources of calumny. As this was reading a lecture to one, at least his equal, if not his senior, it could only be done, with effect, in the most persuasive terms of friendly advice; and there was something so mitigating in Sam's reproofs, that Miss Trapp could not but feel consoled, even when cheated of the pleasure of rending a character piece-meal, and shamed into acknowledging the badness of her authority. The more she admitted, the more Sam seasoned his rhetoric with the spice of commendation, till at last she became as docile as a tame rattle-snake, that parts with its venom as often as the Faquir presents the cottonball for its imbibition, and then becomes, for a time, a safe playfellow. But if Sam gloried in extracting the poison, and began to feel some interest towards his pupil, for so easily unlearning a vice; his false pupil no less gloried in duping her master, and in retaining all the time that appetite for detraction which was nothing short of her ruling passion. Beware, my honest fellow, of the concentration of that venom which is gathering but a keener virus from every disappointed stroke; and remember, that the viper first stings the bosom that has sheltered it! But thou wast all unaware and unguarded! else what could induce thee to dance twice running, the same night, with Alicia Trapp? Was it because no one else would offer, and she sat like a Hindoo, who has lost his caste, looking desolately on the sports of his nation? Another evening too, what could betray thee to lead Miss Trapp to the piano, and to beg her to play, for she could thrum. mechanically, and execute without taste or feeling? And if a bevy of disappointed girls did mar all thy good nature, by persuading the player to add her croak to the jingle of wood and wire-what mighty onus lay on thee to foil their malice, and to drag their expected butt from the round stool, lest she should commit herself again? And to do it under pretence of consulting her upon a literary morceau !—as if her judgment were of value!-and as if thy appeal to it would not turn sour upon other hearts, as much as it proved luscious and intoxicating to the brain of Alicia! Where was thy Mentor then? Where was the ægis large enough to shield thee from jealous shafts?

No where; as long as thy most deadly foe continued under the same protecting orb with thee.

Next morning, at the breakfast table, Mr. Trapp opened his lips in a very unusual manner, to commence a fraternal objurgation, in the peremptory tone, which persons of that degree of consanguinity think themselves authorised to assume. "Upon my soul, Alicia, it will not do; it does not please me at all-something too particular in Mr. Debonair's attentions-talked of openly-ought to keep a sharp look out-demand an explanation-honour concerned-imperative sense of duty;" the gaps being filled up with mouthfuls of sausage and buttered toast; the whole making not a very connected, but a clearly intelligible discourse to the ears of his fair sister. Now this, however it might be intended, was one of the kindest speeches that had ever been addressed to her by her brother. It assumed the possibility of an event highly flattering to her charms, such as they were. Hitherto there had been a perfect amnesty of quizzing, on love affairs, between brother and sister, from very sincerity of soul, because each thought the other too little prepossessing to afford matter for a good hit; so that, joke or no joke, it was very complimentary in the brother to take it up in this way, and to announce it, however hypocritically, as an article of his faith, that she had at length achieved a conquest. It only remained for her, if she wished to prolong this most relishing remonstrance, to put on a conscious appearance, that her judge might be severe in proportion to her confusion, and charge her with more than the evidence warranted. She accordingly jingled the cups and saucers; allowed the teapot to run over; heaved a sigh of severalhorse power; hid her face in her muslin, and blushed, as it were, behind the curtain; then threw her eyes directly on the carpet, with so much of the air of a convicted culprit, that an ordinary justice of the peace would have been satisfied of her guilt, and have immediately set about saddling somebody with the dreaded incumbrance on the parish. But Trapp (Lord mend him!) had not faith, hope, or charity enough, to believe in his sister's frailty; he was a very infidel as to her powers of temptation, by which reason the scène was lost upon him. But though he was quite free from good-natured credulity in the womanly complexion and seductiveness of his sister, his disbelief did not shake the orthodoxy of the tenets which he had adopted, and which he was determined to maintain, if possible, with parchment or pistol, according as he found his opponent ill-disposed to either of those modes of settling the controversy. The assumptions that he had made of Sam's giddiness were very liberal, and the conclusions he had drawn on that head, most logical. But as part of this inference was founded upon intuitive, as well as demonstrative knowledge, we must beg leave to borrow a loose leaf from the scrap-book of Mr. Trapp's conscience, which fell out one day, as he was canvassing his grievances to us. The inscribed syllogism ran thus:-Debonair takes me for an honest fellow-therefore, Debonair is a fool. If Debonair can be gulled in so plain a humbug, he may easily be caught in a more complex noose:-Ergo, &c. As to his sister, the sorites might be disentangled thus:-Alicia must be got rid of: none but a fool will have her: no one ever endured her so long as Debonair. Debonair is a most consummate fool; ut suprà :-Ergo, Debonair must have her.