"So they have left off applying to me," said Lady Plinlimmon, "which I am rather glad of, for I do not admire any of the race. Such proud, stiff, disagreeable people! Lady Margaret has all the Clanalpin pride about her. Shall we have them?" "What say you, Lady Bellamont?" said the Duchess of Stavordale.

"Oh! for one subscription, I think we may admit them."

"Mr. Adolphus Frederic Carlton is on my list," said Lady Rochefort; "he is a tall spindle-shanks of a youth, but he is a protégé of one of the royal dukes, and an inimitable waltzer."

"Then he will do," said the Duchess; "for good dancers, I am sure, are always acceptable."

"Colonel, Mrs., and Miss Smythe," said Lady Hauton. be, I wonder?",

Who on earth can they

"That broad name of Smith covers such a multitude of sins," said the still broader Duchess of Stavordale.

"Oh! but these people are distinguished by a y, and a final e to their name. They are Lincolnshire people, and applied to me last year, but they were too late," said Lady Rochefort.

There is no need to have Colonel Smythe, at least," said Lady Hauton, "even if we agree to the wife and daughter, for papas are of no use. What is the girl like?": "Well-looking, and well-dressed," said Lady Rochefort.

"About what age?"

"Oh! under twenty, certainly; has been brought up abroad."

"Has she much tournure?"

"Quite Parisian."

"Dances well?"

In perfection: I can assure your ladyship she is a distinguée."

"And nothing disgraceful-looking about the mother?"

Quite the contrary; a very fashionable-looking chaperon, d'un certain age, with

a Frenchified cap, and a large Indian shawl."

"Oh, very well! then we will have them."

"Who comes next? Sir George, Lady, and two Miss Cottons. Who and what are they?"

Oh, I know them, said Lady Rochefort: "positively I bar them and the Balls. I will not be worsted by them this year, though they did overturn all my plans last season. They got on your list, Lady Bellamont."

"I think I remember them now,' ," said her ladyship of Hauton: "Two vastly odd-looking little girls, in dirty striped red gowns. I will not admit them on my books again, that's poz."

"But I have promised them," said Lady Bellamont.

"Oh! never mind: break your promise; but don't let us have such shabby girls, with their ugly mamma, and that gouty old gentleman :-too much of a good thing by, half."

"Lord and Lady Glenmore have written to me," said Lady Plinlimmon: "No, no! I see it is Lord and Lady Luxmore."

"Oh; admit them, of course," replied Lady Hauton; "but Lady Rochefort, I think, was applied to for Lady Glenmore."

"Yes, that I was," returned the Viscountess. "Lord Hazlemere came to me about it; he was anxious in the extreme to please his aunt.'

"What! the beautiful Rosa Danvers!" said the Duchess; "she will be an object of great attraction everywhere, from her youth, and the oddity of her marriage with so old a man. We must certainly have her."

"The Ladies Buller," said Lady Bellamont, "are the next."

"Oh! refuse them," said Lady Hauton," till they get some new turbans; those things they wear look so very strange.'

"I think your Ladyship makes a point of refusing every body I propose!" said Lady Bellamont, rather tartly.

"Why you always show up such a list of worthies," said Lady Hauton. "Almack's would be a mere receptacle for quizzes, if we admitted all your friends."

Lady Bellamont looked furiously angry, particularly as Lady Rochefort joined in the laugh against her and her protégées.

"I think," said the Duchess, we behave very ill to Madame de Wallenstein; for this debate cannot be very amusing to her. Perhaps she may have some friend to propose?"

Your Grace is very kind," returned the Baroness; "I was just going to name Lady and Miss Birmingham, and Miss Mildmay."

A look of dismay pervaded every face.

"What! the great Pitt man's wife and daughter," said Lady Rochefort.

"I never heard that Sir Benjamin Birmingham was a Pitt man," replied Madame de Wallestein; "he was formerly a great West India merchant, and he is now tenant to my brother, Sir Edmund Montague, for Atherford Abbey. I promised to send them vouchers my word is engaged."

"And Miss Mildmay; that is your pretty friend, of course?" "Pardonnez moi, c'est sa sœur," said the Baroness.

"And is she as handsome as the one who is staying with you?"?

"Oh, no! certainly not; but she is extremely amiable."

"Oh! cela va sans dire," said Lady Rochefort. "Ugly girls must be amiable to pass; but, as these Miss Mildmays are quite unknown to us, I think it will be very liberal if we admit one of them, and, of course, the beauty. What say you, Lady Plinlimmon ?"

Why, certainly but yet, as the Baronness de Wallestein's friends—” "But, you know," said Lady Rochefort, "Lady Hauton always says that friendship must be entirely done away with in these cases."

The Miss Mildmays I know nothing about," said the Duchess; "but I am sure the Birminghams are not desirable. My friend Lady Norbury was hoping only yesterday that they might be excluded; because, if money was once to get people into Almack's, there would be an end directly to all hope of its continuing good company."

66

Lady Birmingham is very vulgar, assurément," said the Baroness: "but her daugliter is a charming person, and du meilleur ton.'

Her pedigree must, however, be always a great objection," said Lady Rochefort; "and to you, Madame de Wallestein, who have always frequented the best society on the Continent—”

"Are any of the Birminghams city people?" enquired Lady Bellamont.

The Viscountess coloured, and looked very angry.

"This is too absurd, really," said Lady Hauton, with her usual air of superiority. "What useless nicety! with the fortune Miss Birmingham will inherit, there is no rank in the peerage to which she may not aspire; methinks it would be wiser to make up to her."

Make up to a Birmingham! good Heavens! what degradation!” exclaimed the incensed matrons, in chorus.

"Je suis fachée, on ne peut plus, d'être la cause de cette petite discussion, mais j'ai promise à mes amies, et il faut, ou que j'acquitte mu parole, ou que je cède ma place."

Impossible, my dear Madame de Wallestein; such a thing must not even be thought of. Lady and Miss Birmingham shall be admitted," said Lady Hauton. "Then, if they are to have vouchers, I must insist on my friends the Tooleys being accepted also," said Lady Bellamont.

"Oh, keep them for the next subscription; don't let us monopolize all the Lions for the same set. And really the Tooleys ought not to be named with the Birminghams; they are very common-place humdrums, while the others are certainly, though secondary stars, yet of great brilliancy. Rich gilding will always attract. We shall all live to see Lady Birmingham, and her house, and her parties, decided ton; for what will not gold buy in these days?-rank, power, fashion, nay, even consideration. In this mercantile age, Birmingham is likely to become the emporium of trade.

I shall prove a true prophetess, you will see ; qu'en dites-vous, ma chère amie ?” turning

to the Baroness.

"Indeed, I think Miss Birmingham will be admired for herself alone. She hardly wants the gilding you talk of."

"If we are to yield," said Lady Plinlimmon, " perhaps the less we say the better." Mercantile influence then, it seems, is to carry all before it," said the Duchess, "in fashion as well as in politics, and under aristocratic patronage too!

"C'est la marche du siècle," said Lady Hauton. "So then it is decided, Madame de Wallestein; the Birminghams are to have vouchers."

"I will not give up," said Bellamont, angrily; " I beg to observe, that I do not agree to their admission."

Unluckily, your ladyship's single vote against five will not do much; I fear the ayes have it," said Lady Hauton, with a smile.

Suppose you enter a dissentient

protest in the journal of our proceedings; it would prove to after ages the incorrupti bility of the house of Hare-proof against gold in any shape ;-though a little, it is well known, might be very acceptable," whispered her ladyship to her friend Lady Rochefort.

"

Well," said the Duchess, "let us proceed: we have staid long enough at Birmingham to have doubled our capital; yet that is not the case, for my stock of men is very low indeed."

My list is quite full," said Lady Rochefort; "but nothing new. Lady Plinlimmon and Lady Bellamont were both rather deficient in those most indispensable necessaries."

"So much hunting still going on in the country!" was observed in various tones,; but all pathetic ones.

Lady Hauton then presented a number of visiting tickets. Sundry young lordlings were all approved of nem. con. Indeed, "the Countess," as her ladyship was usually denominated, was so very despotic, that no one ventured to disapprove of any person she protected. The Baroness then read over a list of French and German Marquises, Counts, and Chevaliers, with here and there one or two Italian Princes or Ducs, who had applied to her.

Lady Hauton was delighted: such a great foreign connexion must prove of infinite advantage to the society: it was opening Almack's to the Continent; it was strengthening the coalition by an alliance with foreign powers.

We have wholly neglected the love-stories, for which we beg the pardon of all young ladies. There is the history of Lionel Montague and Barbara Birmingham, and also that of Louisa Mildmay and Lord George Fitzallan, each written in the most approved fashion. Their characters are all varied, the difficulties they meet with just serve to excite a gentle agitation in their amiable hearts, and the denouë ments are decidedly happy. Love-stories, in conjunction with dance, dress, rank, and fashion-delicious!-all young hearts, at the bare thought, flutter with a violence ominous, to staylaces and boddices..

DIARY

FOR THE MONTH OF DECEMBER.

5th. The proposition of Mr. Hume, that the Half-pay List should be relieved by the appointment of its Officers to full pay as vacancies occurred, gave rise to a curious debate. The intended inroad on Royal and Parliamentary patronage was of too serious a nature to pass unopposed; the measure might save the country some thousands a year; it might raise some hundreds of meritorious officers from undeserved obscurity; it might restore to the public service those whose wellearned experience might be most useful to the country-but what of that? It would limit the patronage of the Duke of York, and impede the promotion of the sons, nephews, and grandsons of Peers, Peers' butlers, Peeresses' waiting-maids, cousins of Honourable Members, protégés of Army Agents and War-office Clerks, and the rest of the young brood of aspirants, who, in the opinion of the privileged few, are primarily entitled to feed upon the country. Lord Palmerston, who, as we all know, has as strong a feeling for kith and kind as if he had been born north of Tweed-(witness the case of Mr. Sullivan,* of

Perhaps some of our correspondents may be able to inform us of the exact number of clerks and other officers, who have been displaced, to make room for this favourite of Fortune and the Secretary at War.

which we have as yet seen no parliamentary notice)-Lord Palmerston, the Secretary at War, warmly opposed the measure; and his argument was not devoid of that ingenious art of blinking a question, which passes for reasoning with seven-tenths of the House of Commons. "It would be a great hardship," he says, "to call Officers from their wives and families, to tear them from the pursuits in which they are now happily settled:" very true, my Lord; but have you asked them the question? are all the half-pay Officers married? are they all provided with shops, farms, or public-houses? are there none who haunt the patience-chamber of the Horse Guards in vain solicitation for employment? to say nothing of the hundreds who have retired in utter despair of justice. It is very hard, as you allow, that a Lieutenant of some fifteen or twenty years' service, a Subaltern who has fought through the Peninsula, should return to the Army, the last of a list of boys; that he should fall into the rear of a company commanded by a Captain who has never heard the whistle of a shot. But who created the hardship? your own system. If the Horse Guards conclave (for we are far from attributing to the Commander-in-Chief all that is done in his name) had pursued the fair course which common justice would have pointed out, this hardship never would have arisen; the reduced Officers (we do not speak of those who have voluntarily retired or exchanged) would have been offered the option of returning to the service; and that they should have this option, was distinctly held out, as we are informed, to the Lieutenants who were reduced in 1816-17. The evil then would not have arisen, it is now perhaps irremediable; but is the Secretary at War entitled to vindicate the continuance of an existing abuse by alleging an evil of his own creation? Is he indeed sincere in offering this hardship as a reason for the permanent exclusion of the half-pay? is he really influenced by a tender consideration for the feelings and interests of the reduced Öfficers? if so, let these gentlemen be heard from themselves: open a book at the Horse Guards, in which every Officer who is desirous of returning to the service may inscribe his name-present that book at the beginning of every Session to the House of Commons, that the people may judge how careful you are of their purse, how impartial you are in distributing justice to those who are placed under your protection. Some individual perhaps may enter his name whom you deem unfit to be restored-he has therefore dared you to disclose his alleged disqualification; will you shrink from the inquiry?

We fear this project of ours, however reasonable it may appear to the public, will find few supporters at Whitehall; yet we will broach another. It is a sad reproach to your system, to see an often wounded, almost grey-headed Subaltern, in serrefile of your favoured boys.— Form regiments, then, in the nature of Veteran Battalions, and place your older Officers in them, till opportunities offer of restoring them to their proper places in the line; this mode will save them from degradation, and you from reproach.

We once heard of a project for the formation of a Royal Guard, in which every private should be a half-pay Officer; it was urged, that great benefit would arise to the service, by thus bringing the merits of its Officers under the personal notice of Royalty. The projector may have been a very good judge of pipeclay; but he must have known

very little of the more hidden machinery of military management, if he expected success. We have already said that we do not expect immediate alteration, and yet we shall not relax in our efforts to expose the system: the most rooted abuses will give way before the oft-repeated expression of public opinion-we do not see the impression which each drop of water makes upon the stone; but we know that a hole will be worn in granite by its continued action.

The debate which occasioned these observations presented a peculiarity which might induce an utter hopelessness of military reform. All parties in the House agreed in praising the Duke of York's military government; that is to say, each Honourable Member recollected how kind his Royal Highness had been to his brother Dick or his cousin Tom;-they could see no harm in parliamentary interest, provided the patronage were tolerably equally distributed on both sides of the House, a capital policy, and highly illustrative of our system! If all heads of departments were to follow this example, the seats of the Ministry might be held in perpetuity-give one third of your patronage to the Opposition, and every abuse shall find an advocate in the ranks of your pretended enemies. The people may occasionally be amused by a debate, (a political sham-fight, in which some unsatisfied reformer may fire a shot, or some awkward recruit his ramrod, to the discomfort of an under secretary, chairman, or commissioner;) but you need never fear the support of a majority: if your ranks are thinned, as all. ranks must be, by deaths and retirements, you may always recruit them by deserters, who have already received earnest of their bounty money. But to return to our more immediate subject. Let us consider what will be the probable state of the Army in the event of War-will the country derive the benefit it has a right to calculate upon from the experience of its Officers? we think not. The number of experienced Officers now on full pay is infinitely less than even we had calculated ;taking the ten first regiments of the line by way of example, we find that out of 177 Lieutenants, 129 have been promoted to that rank since the year 1815. Some of these may indeed have seen some little service as Ensigns, but the number must be very small; the Ensigns themselves can have seen more-thus we have two thirds, at least, of our Subalterns, absolute novices in the art and practice of war.

It is more extraordinary to find, that of the Officers who were present at the battle of Waterloo,* only fourteen are to be found in the tent regiments, giving an average total of 140 for the Line.

We instance this battle, not because it afforded many useful points for experience or instruction; but because the Officers who were present at it were, for a time, the. objects of most special favour and undue preference. Those who had fought in twenty battles throughout Spain and Portugal, who had sustained the long and often repeated hardships of those memorable campaigns,-were utterly neglected for the boys (we speak it to their credit) who got out of their beds to fight for three days in the Netherlands. It was reasonable enough that Ministers should estimate a battle by its political consequences; but the Commander-in-Chief should have taken a more professional view of the subject: he must have known, that more merit is sometimes shown in defeat than in victory-that more military lessons must have been learnt in the retreat from. Burgos, than in the advance on Paris-and though he might have been compelled to join in placing a medal at the button-hole, or a W to the name of the more favoured Officers, to the exclusion and consequent mortification of those who had deserved at least equal honours,-he, at any rate, should have taken care, that what was wanted in show should be made up in substance; that what was withheld in decoration should