'Well, I took the Fulham stage, and, arriving, made straight for the lodgings of the reverend gentleman. "Sir," said I, on finding that worthy gent, he was drinking warm brandy-andwater, Sam, at two o'clock in the day, or at least the room smelt very strongly of that beverage—"Sir," says I, "you were tried for forgery in the year '14, at Lancaster assizes."

"And acquitted, sir. My innocence was by Providence made clear," said Wapshot.

"But you were not acquitted of embezzlement in '16, sir," says I, "and passed two years in York gaol in consequence." I knew the fellow's history, for I had a writ out against him when he was a preacher at Clifton. I followed up my blow. "Mr. Wapshot," said I, "you are making love to an excellent lady now at the house of Mr. Brough; if you do not promise to give up all pursuit of her, I will expose you.'

""I have promised," said Wapshot, rather surprised, and looking more easy. "I have given my solemn promise to Mr. Brough, who was with me this very morning, storming, and scolding, and swearing. O, sir, it would have frightened you to hear a Christian babe like him swear as he did."

"Mr. Brough been here?" says I, rather astonished. ""Yes; I suppose you are both here on the same scent," says Wapshot. "You want to marry the widow with the Slopperton and Squashtail estate, do you? Well, well, have your way. I've promised not to have anything more to do with the widow, and a Wapshot's honour is sacred.”

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"I suppose, sir," says I, "Mr. Brough has threatened to kick you out of doors if you call again."

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"You have been with him, I see," says the reverend gent, with a shrug; and then I remembered what you had told me of the broken seal of your letter, and have not the slightest doubt that Brough opened and read every word of it.

'Well, the first bird was bagged: both I and Brough had had a shot at him. Now I had to fire at the whole Rookery; and off I went, primed and loaded, sir-primed and loaded.

'It was past eight when I arrived, and I saw, after I passed the lodge-gates, a figure that I knew walking in the shrubbery— that of your respected aunt, sir; but I wished to meet the amiable ladies of the house before I saw her, because, look, friend Titmarsh, I saw by Mrs. Hoggarty's letter, that she and they were at daggers drawn, and hoped to get her out of the house at once by means of a quarrel with them.'

I laughed, and owned that Mr. Smithers was a very cunning fellow.

'As luck would have it,' continued he, 'Miss Brough was in the drawing-room twangling on a guitar, and singing most atrociously out of tune; but as I entered at the door, I cried "Hush!" to the footman, as loud as possible, and then stood stock-still, and then walked forward on tiptoe lightly. Miss B. could see in the glass every movement that I made; she pretended not to see, however, and finished the song with a regular roulade. ""Gracious Heaven!" said I, "do, madam, pardon me for interrupting that delicious harmony,-for coming unaware upon it, for daring uninvited to listen to it."

""Do you come for mamma, sir?" said Miss Brough, with as much graciousness as her physiognomy could command. "I am Miss Brough, sir.”

""I wish, madam, you would let me not breathe a word regarding my business until you have sung another charming strain."

'She did not sing, but looked pleased, and said, what is your business?"

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"La sir,

"My business is with a lady, your respected father's guest in this house."

""Oh, Mrs. Hoggarty!" says Miss Brough, flouncing towards the bell, and ringing it. "John, send to Mrs. Hoggarty, in the shrubbery; here is a gentleman who wants to see her."

"I know," continued I, "Mrs. Hoggarty's peculiarities as well as any one, madam; and aware that those and her education are not such as to make her a fit companion for you: I know you do not like her: she has written to us in Somersetshire that you do not like her.”

"What! she has been abusing us to her friends, has she?" cried Miss Brough (it was the very point I wished to insinuate). "If she does not like us, why does she not leave us?"

""She has made rather a long visit," said I; "and I am sure that her nephew and niece are longing for her return. Pray, madam, do not move, for you may aid me in the object for which I come.

'The object for which I came, sir, was to establish a regular battle-royal between the two ladies, at the end of which I intended to appeal to Mrs. Hoggarty, and say that she ought really no longer to stay in a house with the members of which she had such unhappy differences. Well, sir, the battle-royal was fought, Miss Belinda opening the fire, by saying, she understood Mrs. Hoggarty had been calumniating her to her friends. But though at the end of it Miss rushed out of the room in a rage, and vowed she would leave her home unless that odious woman

left it, your dear aunt said, "Ha, ha! I know the minx's vile stratagems; but thank Heaven, I have a good heart, and my religion enables me to forgive her. I shall not leave her excellent papa's house, or vex by my departure that worthy, admirable man."

"Your

'I then tried Mrs. H. on the score of compassion. niece," said I, "Mrs. Titmarsh, madam, has been of late, Sam says, rather poorly,-qualmish of mornings, madam,a little nervous, and low in spirits,-symptoms, madam, that are scarcely to be mistaken in a young married person."

'Mrs. Hoggarty said she had an admirable cordial that she would send Mrs. Samuel Titmarsh, and she was perfectly certain it would do her good.

'With very great unwillingness, I was obliged now to bring my last reserve into the field, and may tell you what that was, Sam, my boy, now that the matter is so long passed. "Madam," said I, "there's a matter about which I must speak, though indeed I scarcely dare. I dined with your nephew yesterday, and met at his table a young man a young man of low manners, but evidently one who has blinded your nephew, and I too much fear has succeeded in making an impression upon your niece. His name is Hoskins, madam; and when I state that he who was never in the house during your presence there, has dined with your too-confiding nephew sixteen times in three weeks, I may leave you to imagine what I dare not dare not imagine myself."

'The shot told. Your aunt bounced up at once, and in ten minutes more was in my carriage, on our way back to London. There, sir, was not that generalship?'

'And you played this pretty trick off at my wife's expense, Mr. Smithers,' said I.

'At your wife's expense, certainly, but for the benefit of both of you.'

'It's lucky, sir, that you are an old man,' I replied, and that the affair happened ten years ago; or, by the Lord, Mr. Smithers, I would have given you such a horsewhipping as you never heard of!'

But this was the way in which Mrs. Hoggarty was brought back to her relatives; and this was the reason why we took that house in Bernard Street, the doings at which must now be described.

CHAPTER X

OF SAM'S PRIVATE AFFAIRS, AND OF THE FIRM OF

BROUGH AND HOFF

WE took a genteel house in Bernard Street, Russell Square; and my aunt sent for all her furniture from the country, which would have filled two such houses, but which came pretty cheap to us young housekeepers, as we had only to pay the carriage of the goods from Bristol.

When I brought Mrs. H. her third half-year's dividend, having not for four months touched a shilling of her money, I must say she gave me £50 of the £80, and told me that was ample pay for the board and lodging of a poor old woman like her, who did not eat more than a sparrow.

I have myself, in the country, seen her eat nine sparrows in a pudding; but she was rich, and I could not complain. If she saved £600 a year, at the least, by living with us, why all the savings would one day come to me; and so Mary and I consoled ourselves, and tried to manage matters as well as we might. It was no easy task to keep a mansion in Bernard Street, and save money out of £470 a year, which was my income. But what a lucky fellow I was to have such an income!

As Mrs. Hoggarty left the Rookery in Smithers's carriage, Mr. Brough, with his four greys, was entering the lodge gate; and I should like to have seen the looks of these two gentlemen, as the one was carrying the other's prey off, out of his own very den, under his very nose.

He came to see her the next day, and protested that he would not leave the house until she left it with him: that he had heard of his daughter's infamous conduct, and had seen her in tears' in tears, madam, and on her knees, imploring Heaven to pardon her!' But Mr. B. was obliged to leave the house without my aunt, who had a causa major for staying, and hardly allowed poor Mary out of her sight,-opening every one of the letters that came into the house directed to my wife, and suspecting hers to everybody. Mary never told me of all this pain for many, many years afterwards; but had always a smiling face for her husband when he came home from his work. As for poor Gus, my aunt had so frightened him, that he never once showed his nose in the place all the time we lived there; but used to be content with news of Mary, of whom he was as fond as he was of me.

Mr. Brough, when my aunt left him, was in a furious illhumour with me. He found fault with me ten times a day, and openly, before the gents of the office; but I let him one day know pretty smartly that I was not only a servant, but a considerable shareholder in the Company; that I defied him to find fault with my work or my regularity, and that I was not minded to receive any insolent language from him or any man. He said it was always so; that he had never cherished a young man in his bosom but the ingrate had turned on him; that he was accustomed to wrong and undutifulness from his children, and that he would pray that the sin' might be forgiven me. Α moment before he had been cursing and swearing at me, and speaking to me as if I had been his shoe-black. But, look you, I was not going to put up with any more of Madam Brough's airs, or of his. With me they might act as they thought fit; but I did not choose that my wife should be passed over by them as she had been in the matter of the visit to Fulham.

Brough ended by warning me of Hodge and Smithers. 'Beware of these men,' said he; 'but for my honesty, your aunt's landed property would have been sacrificed by these cormorants; and when, for her benefit-which you, obstinate young man, will not perceive-I wished to dispose of her land, her attorneys actually had the audacity--the un-Christian avarice I may say to ask 10 per cent commission on the sale.'

There might be some truth in this, I thought; at any rate, when rogues fall out, honest men come by their own: and now I began to suspect, I am sorry to say, that both the attorney and the director had a little of the rogue in their composition. It was especially about my wife's fortune that Mr. B. showed his cloven foot; for proposing, as usual, that I should purchase shares with it in our Company, I told him that my wife was a minor, and as such her little fortune was vested out of my control altogether. He flung away in a rage at this; and I soon saw that he did not care for me any more, by Abednego's manner to me. No more holidays, no more advances of money, had I; on the contrary, the private clerkship at £150 was abolished, and I found myself on my £250 a year again. Well; what then? it was always a good income, and I did my duty, and laughed at the director.

About this time, in the beginning of 1824, the Jamaica Ginger Beer Company shut up shop-exploded, as Gus said, with a bang! The Patent Pump shares were down to £15 upon a paid-up capital of £65. Still ours were at a high premium; and the Independent West Diddlesex held its head up as proudly as any