Dogb. Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will; much more a man who hath any honesty in him. Verg. If you heara child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse, and bid her still it. Conr. No; 'twas the vane on the house. Bora. Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is? how giddily he turns about all the hot bloods, between fourteen and five and thirty? some 2 Watch. How, if the nurse be asleep, and will not time, fashioning them like Pharaoh's soldiers in the hear us? Dogb. Why then, depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying: for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer a calf when he bleats. Verg. 'Tis very true. Dogb. This is the end of the charge. You, constable, are to present the prince's own person; if you meet the prince in the night, you may stay him. Verg. Nay, by'r lady, that, I think, he cannot. Dogb. Five shillings to one on't, with any man that knows the statues, he may stay him: marry, not without the prince be willing: for, indeed, the watch ought to offend no man; and it is an offence to stay a man against his will. Verg. By'r lady, I think, it be so. Dogb. Ha, ha, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me : keep your fellows' counsels and your own, and good night.-Come, neighbour." 2 Watch. Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us go sit here upon the church-bench till two, and then all to bed. reechy painting; sometime, like god Bel's priests in the old church window; sometime, like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry, where his cod-piece seems as massy as his club? Conr. All this I see; and see, that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man: But art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion? Bora. Not so neither: but know, that I have tonight wooed Margaret, the lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the name of Hero; she leans me out at her mistress's chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good-night-1 tell this tale vilely :-I should first tell thee, how the Prince, Claudio, and my master, planted, and placed, and possessed by my master Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter. Conr. And thought they, Margaret was Hero? Bora. Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio; but the devil my master knew she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villany, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore he would meet her as he was appointed, next Dogb. One word more, honest neighbours: I pray you, watch about signior Leonato's door; for the wed-morning at the temple, and there, before the whole ding being there to-morrow, there is a great coil tonight: Adieu, be vigitant, I beseech you. [Exe. Dogb. and Verg. Enter Borachio and Conrade. Bora. What! Conrade, Watch. Peace, stir not. Bora. Conrade, I say! Conr. Here, man, I am at thy elbow. Aside. Bora. Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought, there would a scab follow. Conr. I will owe thee an answer for that; and now forward with thy tale. Bora. Stand thee close then under this pent-house, for it drizzles rain; and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee. Watch. [Aside.] Some treason, masters; yet stand close. Bora. Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats. Conr. Is it possible that any villany should be so dear? Bora. Thou shouldst rather ask, if it were possible any villany should be so rich; for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will. Conr. I wonder at it. Bora. That shows, thou art unconfirmed: Thou knowest, that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is nothing to a man. Conr. Yes, it is apparel.. Conr. Yes, the fashion is the fashion. Bora. Tush! I may as well say, the fool's the fool. But seest thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is? Watch. I know that Deformed; he has been a vile thief this seven year; he goes up and down like a gen tleman: I remember his name. Bora. Didst thou not hear somebody? congregation, shame her with what he saw over-night, and send her home again without a husband. 1 Watch. We charge you in the Prince's name, stand. 2 Watch. Call up the right master constable: We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the commonwealth. 1 Watch. And one Deformed is one of them; I know him, he wears a lock. [Exit Ursula. Mar. Troth, I think, your other rabato were better. Hero. No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this. Mar. By my troth, it's not so good; and I warrant, your cousin will say so. Hero. My cousin's a fool, and thou art another; I'll wear none but this. Mar. I like the new tire within excellently, if the hair were a thought browner: and your gown's a most rare fashion, i'faith. I saw the dutchess of Milan's gown, that they praise so. Hero. O, that exceeds, they say. Mar. By my troth, it's but a night-gown in respect of yours: Cloth of gold, and cuts, and laced with silver; set with pearls, down sleeves, side-sleeves, and skirts round, underborne with a bluish tinsel: but for a fine, quaint, graceful, and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on't. Here. God give me joy to wear it, for my heart is exceeding heavy! Mar. "Twill be heavier soon, by the weight of a man. Hers. Fie upon thee! art not ashamed? Mer. Of what, lady? of speaking honourably? Is not marriage honourable in a beggar? Is not your lord honourable without marriage? I think, you would have me say, saving your reverence,-a husband: an bad thinking do not wrest true speaking, I'll offend no body: Is there any harm in-the heavier for a husbend! None, I think, an it be the right husband, and the right wife; otherwise 'tis light, and not heavy: Ask my lady Beatrice else, here she comes. Enter Beatrice. Hera Good-morrow, coz. Beat. Good-morrow, sweet Hero. Hers. Why, how now! do you speak in the sick rube? Best. I am out of all other tune, methinks. Mer. Clap us into-Light a love; that goes witheut a burden; do you sing it, and I'll dance it. Beat. Yea, Light o' love, with your heels!-then if your husband have stables enough, you'll see he shall tark no barns. Mar. O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with my heels. Beat. "Tis almost five o'clock, cousin; 'tis time you were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill: hey ba! Mar. For a hawk, a horse, or a husband? Best. For the letter that begins them all, H. Mar. Well, an you be not turned Turk, there's no more sailing by the star. Beat. What means the fool, trow? Mar. Nothing I; but God send every one their heart's desire! Here. These gloves the count sent me, they are an excellent perfume. Beat. I am stuffed, cousin, I cannot smell. Mar. A maid, and stuffed! there's goodly catching of cold. Dogb. Marry, this it is, sir. Leon. What is it, my good friends? Dogb. Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt, as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest, as the skin between his brows. Verg. Yes, I thank God, I am as honest as any man living, that is an old man, and no honester than I. Dogb. Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges. Leon. Neighbours, you are tedious, Dogb. It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor duke's officers; but, truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find in my heart to bestow it all of your worship. Leon. All thy tediousness on me! ha! Dogb. Yea, an 'twere a thousand times more than 'tis: for I hear as good exclamation on your worship, as of any man in the city; and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it. Verg. And so am I. Leon. I would fain know what you have to say. Verg. Marry, sir, our watch to-night, excepting your worship's presence, have ta'en a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina. Dogb. A good old man, sir; he will be talking; as they say, When the age is in, the wit is out: God help Beat. O, God help me! God help me! how long us! it is a world to see!- Well said, i'faith, neighbour have you profess'd apprehension? Mar. Moral? no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I meant, plain holy-thistle. You may think, perchance, that I think you are in love: nay, by'r la dy, I am not such a fool to think what I list; nor I list not to think what I can; nor, indeed, I cannot think, if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you are in love, or that you will be in love, or that you can be in love: yet Benedick was such another, and now is he become a man: he swore he would never marry; and yet now, in despite of his heart, he eats his meat without grudging: and how you may be converted, I know not; but methinks, you look with your eyes as other women do. Verges:-well, God's a good man; an two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind :-An honest soul, i'faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever broke bread : but, God is to be worshipped: All men are not alike; alas good neighbour! Leon. Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you. Dogb. Gifts, that God gives. Leon. I must leave you. Dogb. One word, sir: our watch, sir, have, indeed, comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your wor ship. Leon. Take their examination yourself, and bring it me; I am now in great haste, as it may appear unto you. Dogb. It shall be suffigance. Leon. Drink some wine ere you go: fare you well. Enter a Messenger. Mess. My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband. Leon. I will wait upon them; I am ready. [Exe. Leon. and Messenger. Dogb. Go, good partner, go, get you to Francis Sea Hero. None, my lord. Friar. Know you any, count? Leon. I dare make his answer, none. Claud. O, what men dare do! what men may do! what men daily do! not knowing what they do! Benc. How now! Interjections? Why, then some be of laughing, as, ha! ha! he! Claud. Stand thee by, friar:-Father, by your leave; Leon. As freely, son, as God did give her me. May counterpoise this rich and precious gift? D. Pedro. Nothing, unless you render her again. ness. There, Leonato, take her back again; Give not this rotten orange to your friend; She's but the sign and semblance of her honour :- To witness simple virtue? Would you not swear, And so extenuate the forehand sin: I never tempted her with word too large; Hero. And seem'd I ever otherwise to you? Claud. Out on thy seeming! I will write against it: You seem to me as Dian in her orb; As chaste as is the bud ere it be blown; But you are more intemperate in your blood Hero. Is my lord well, that he doth speak so wide? And, by that fatherly and kindly power Leon. I charge thee do so, as thou art my child. Claud. To make you answer truly to your name. Hero. Is it not Hero? Who can blot that name With any just reproach? Claud. Marry, that can Hero; Hero. I talk'd with no man at that hour, my lord. D. John. Not to be married, To turn all beauty into thoughts of harm, Not knit my soul to an approved wanton. Claud. I know what you would say; If I have You'll say, she did embrace me as a husband, Leon. Hath no man's dagger here a point for me? [Hero swoons. Beat. Why, how now, cousin? wherefore sink you down? D. John. Come, let us go: these things, come thus to light, Friar. Have comfort, lady. Leon. Dost thou look up? Cry shame upon her? Could she here deny This shame derives itself from unknown loins? Hath drops too few to wash her clean again ; made, Which was before barr'd up with ribs of iron! For I have only been silent so long, And given way unto this course of fortune, Leon. A sin of perjury; she not denies it: Friar. Lady, what man is he you are accus'd of? Hero. They know, that do accuse me; I know none: If I know more of any man alive, Than that which maiden modesty doth warrant, Friar. There is some strange misprision in the princes. Bene. Two of them have the very bent of honour; And if their wisdoms be misled in this, The practice of it lives in John the bastard, Leon. I know not; If they speak but truth of her, Nor fortune made such havoc of my means, Leon. What shall become of this? What will this That what we have we prize not to the worth, Than when she liv'd indeed :-then shall he moura, Come, lady, die to live: this wedding day, Perhaps, is but prolong'd; have patience, and endure. [Exc. Friar, Hero, and Leon. Bene. Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while? Beat. Yea, and I will weep a while longer. Bene. I will not desire that. Beat. You have no reason, I do it freely. Bene. Surely, I do believe your fair cousin is wrong'd. Beat. Ah, how much might the man deserve of me that would right her! Benc. Is there any way to show such friendship? Beat. A very even way, but no such friend. Bene. May a man do it? Beat. It is a man's office, but not yours. Bene. I do love nothing in the world so well as you ; Is not that strange? Beat. As strange as the thing I know not: It were as possible for me to say, I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing :-I am sorry for my cousin. Bene. By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me. -Beat. Do not swear by it, and eat it. Bene. I will swear by it, that you love me; and I will make him eat it, that says, I love not you. Beat Will you not eat your word? Bene. With no sauce that can be devised to it: I protest, I love thee. Beat. Why then, God forgive me! Beat. You have staid me in a happy hour; I was about to protest, I loved you. Bene. And do it with all thy heart. Beat. I love you with so much of my heart, that none is left to protest. Bene. Come, bid me do any thing for thee. Bene. Ha! not for the wide world. Beat. You kill me to deny it: Farewell. Bene. Tarry, sweet Beatrice. Beat. I am gone, though I am here ;-There is no love in you:-Nay, I pray you, let me go. Bene. Beatrice, Beat. In faith, I will go. Bene. We'll be friends first. Beat. You dare easier be friends with me, than fight with mine enemy. Benc. Is Claudio thine enemy? Beat. Is he not approved in the height a villain, that bath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman?-0, that I were a man !-What! bear her in frand until they come to take hands; and then with public accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour, O God, that I were a man! I would cat his heart in the market-place. Bene. Hear me, Beatrice ; Beat. Talk with a man out at a window ?-a proper saying! Bene. Nay, but, Beatrice ; Beat. Sweet Hero!-she is wronged, she is slander, ed, she is undone. Bene. Beat Beat. Princes, and counties! Surely, a princely testimony, a goodly count-confect; a sweet gallant, surely! O that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into courtesies, valour into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones too: he is now as valiant as Hercules, that only tells a lie, and swears it :-I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving. Bene. Tarry, good Beatrice: By this hand, I love thee. Beat. Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it. Bene. Think you in your soul the count Claudio hath wronged Hero? Beat. Yea, as sure as I have a thought, or a soul. Bene. Enough, I am engaged, I will challenge him; I will kiss your hand, and so leave you: By this hand, Claudio shall render me a dear account: As you hear of me, so think of me. Go, comfort your cousin: I must say, she is dead; and so, farewell. [Exeunt. SCENE II-A Prison. Enter Dogberry, Verges, and Sexton, in gowns ; and the Watch, with Conrade and Borachio. Dogb. Is our whole dissembly appeared? Dogb. Marry, that am I and my partner. Verg. Nay, that's certain; we have the exhibition to examine. Sexton. But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them come before master constable. Dogb. Yea, marry, let them come before me.-What is your name, friend? Bora. Borachio. Dogb. Pray write down, Borachio.-Yours, sirrah? Conr. I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Courade. Dogb. Write down, master gentleman Conrade.Masters, do you serve God? Bora. Conr. Yea, sir, we hope. Dogb. Write down, that they hope they serve God: -and write God first; for God defend but God should go before such villains !-Masters, it is proved already, that you are little better than false knaves; and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves? Conr. Marry, sir, we say we are none. Dogb. A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you; but I will go about with him.-Come you hither, sirrah; a word in your ear, sir; I say to you, it is thought you are false knaves. Bora. Sir, I say to you, we are none. Dogb. Well, stand aside.-'Fore God, they are both in a tale: Have you writ down, that they are none? Sexton. Master constable, you go not the way to examine; you must call forth the watch that are their accusers. Dogb. Yea, marry, that's the eftest way:-Let the watch come forth.-Masters, I charge you in the prince's name, accuse these men. 1 Watch. This man said, sir, that Don John, the prince's brother, was a villain. |