Val. My ears are stopp'd, and cannot hear good news, So much of bad already hath possess'd them. Pre. Then in dumb silence will I bury mine, For they are harsh, untuneable, and bad. Fal. Is Silvia dead? Pre. No, Valentine. Vel. No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Silvia !— Hath she forsworn me? Pre. No, Valentine. Fal. No Valentine, if Silvia hath forsworn me!What is your news? Lawn. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are vanish'd. Pre. That thou art banish'd, O, that's the news; From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy friend. Val 0, I have fed upon this woe already, And now excess of it will make me surfeit. Deth Silvia know that I am banish'd? Pro. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom, (Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force,) A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears: Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd; With them, upon her knees, her humble self; Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them As if but now they waxed pale for woe: But neither bended knees, pure hands held up, Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears, Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire; But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die. Besides, her intercession chaf'd him so, When she for thy repeal was suppliant, That to close prison he commanded her, With many bitter threats of 'biding there. Val. No more; unless the next word that thou speak'st, Have some malignant power upon my life: As ending anthem of my endless dolour. Pro. Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, And study help for that which thou lament'st. Time is the nurse and breeder of all good. Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love; Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life. Hope is a lover's staff; walk hence with that, And manage it against despairing thoughts. Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence; Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver'd Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love. The time now serves not to expostulate: Come, I'll convey thee through the city gate; And, e'er I part with thee, confer at large Of all that may concern thy love-affairs: As thou lov❜st Silvia, though not for thyself, Regard thy danger, and along with me. Vel. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy, Bid him make haste, and meet me at the north-gate. Pre. Go, sirrah, find him out.-Come, Valentine. Vel. O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine! [Exeunt Val. and Pro. Lawn. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but that woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milk-maid: yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. The bath more qualities than a water-spaniel,-which is much in a bare Christian. Here is the cat-log [pull. ing out a paper] of her conditions. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore, is she better than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Enter Speed. Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership? Laun. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea. Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word: What news then in your paper? Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st. Speed. Let me read them. Laun. Fie on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not read. Speed. Thou liest, I can. Laun. I will try thee: Tell me this: Who begot thee? Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather. Laun. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother: this proves, that thou canst not read. Speed. Come, fool, come: try me in thy paper. Laun. There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed. Speed. Imprimis, She can milk. Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And thereof comes the proverb, Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, She can sew. Laun. That's as much as to say, Can she so? Speed. Item, She can knit. Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock? Speed. Item, She can wash and scour. Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin. Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, Bastard virtues ; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kiss'd fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on. Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth, Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts. Speed. Item, She is curst. Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Speed. Item, She will often praise her liquor. 1 Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, She is too liberal. Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair, that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs,— Laun. That's monstrous: O, that that were out! Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious: Well, I'll have her: And if it be a match, as nothing is impossible, Speed. What then? Laun. Why, then I will tell thee,-that thy master stays for thee at the north gate. Speed. For me? Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn. Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? 'pox of your love-letters! [Exit. Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my let- || ter: An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets!-I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correc [Exit. tion. SCENE II-The same. A room in the Duke's palace. Enter Duke and Thurio; Proteus behind. Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that she will love you, Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight. Thu. Since his exile she hath despis'd me most, Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly 1 would effect The match between sir Thurio and my daughter. Pro. I do, my lord. Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. || What might we do, to make the girl forget Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him. Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage Your slander never can endamage him ; Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord: if I can do it, Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, You must provide to bottom it on me: As you in worth dispraise sir Valentine. Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind: Because we know, on Valentine's report, You are already love's firm votary, And cannot soon revolt and change your mind. Duke. Ay, much the force of heaven-bred poesy. For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews; After your dire-lamenting elegies, Visit by night your lady's chamber-window, With some sweet concert: to their instruments Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in love Let us into the city presently To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music : I have a sonnet, that will serve the turn, To give the onset to thy good advice. Duke. About it, gentlemen. Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper And afterward determine our proceedings. Duke. Even now about it; I will pardon you. [Ex ACT IV. SCENE I-A Forest, near Mantua. Enter certain Outlaws. 1 Outlaw. FELLOWS, stand fast; I see a passenger. Are you content to be our general ? And live, as we do, in this wilderness? 3 Out. What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our consort? Say, ay, and be the captain of us all : We'll do thee homage, and be rul'd by thee, 2 Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down with 'em. Love thee as our commander, and our king. 2 Out. For what offence? Val. For that which now torments me to rehearse: I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent ; 1 Out. Why ne'er repent it, if it were done so : But were you banish'd for so small a fault? Fal. I was, and held me glad of such a doom. 1 Out. Have you the tongues? Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy; Or else I often had been miserable. 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar, This fellow were a king for our wild faction. 1 Out. We'll have him: sirs, a word, Speed. Master, be one of them; It is an honourable kind of thievery. 2 Out. Tell us this: Have you any thing to take to? Vel. Nothing, but my fortune. 3 Out. Know then, that some of us are gentlemen, Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth Thrust from the company of awful men: Myself was from Verona banished, For practising to steal away a lady, An heir, and near allied unto the duke, 2 Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman, Whom, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart. 1 Out. And I, for such like petty crimes as these. With goodly shape; and by your own report As we do in our quality much want ; 2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man, Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you: 1 Out. But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou dy'st. 2 Out. Thou shalt not live to brag what we have offer'd. Val. I take your offer, and will live with you; Provided that you do no outrages On silly women, or poor passengers. 3 Out. No, we detest such vile, base practices. Come, go with us, we'll bring thee to our crews, And shew thee all the treasure we have got; Which, with ourselves, all rest at thy dispose. [Exe. Enter SCENE II-Milan. Court of the Palace. Proteus. Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, I have access my own love to prefer: Enter Thurio, and Musicians. Thu. Ay, but, I hope, sir, that you have not here. Pro. Ay, Silvia,-for your sake. Thu. I thank you for your own.-Now, gentlemen, Let's tune, and to it lustily a while. Enter Host at a distance; and Julia in boy's clothes. Host. Now, my young guest, methinks you're ally. cholly; I pray you, why is it? Jul. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry. Host. Come, we'll have you merry: I'll bring you where you shall hear music, and see the gentleman that you ask'd for. Jul. But shall I hear him speak? Then to Silvia let us sing, That Silvia is excelling ; Host. How now? are you sadder than you were before? How do you, man? the music likes you not. Jul. You mistake; the musician likes me not. Jul. He plays false, father. Host. How? out of tune on the strings? Jul. Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my very heart-strings. Host. You have a quick ear. Jul. Ay, I would I were deaf! it makes me have a slow heart. Host. I perceive, you delight not in music. Jul. Not a whit, when it jars so. Host. Hark, what fine change is in the music! Host. You would have them always play but one Pro. One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's truth, You'd quickly learn to know him by his voice. Sil. Sir Proteus, as I take it. Pro. Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant. Sil. What is your will? Pro. That I may compass yours. Sil. You have your wish; my will is even this, That presently you hie you home to bed. Thou subtle, perjur'd, false, disloyal man! That hast deceived so many with thy vows? Jul. [Aside. Sil. Say, that she be; yet Valentine, thy friend, Survives; to whom, thyself art witness, I am betroth'd: And art thou not asham'd [Exeunt Proteus; and Silvia, from above. Jul. Host, will you go? Host. By my hallidom, I was fast asleep. Jul. Pray you, where lies sir Proteus ? Host. Marry, at my house: Trust me, I think, 'tis almost day. Jul. Not so; but it hath been the longest night That e'er I watch'd, and the mast heaviest. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-The same. Enter Eglamour. Egl. This is the hour that madam Silvia Entreated me to call, and know her mind; There's some great matter she'd employ me in.Madam, madam! Silvia appears above at her window. Sil. Who calls? Egl. Your servant, and your friend; One that attends your ladyship's command. Sil. Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good morrow. Egl. As many, worthy lady, to yourself. I am thus early come, to know what service Sil. O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman, As full of sorrows as the sea of sands, SCENE IV.-The same. Enter Launce, with his dog. Laun. When a man's servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it! I have taught him-even as one would say precisely, Thus I would teach a dog. I was sent to deliver him, as a present to mistress Silvia, from my master; and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber, but he steps me to her trencher, and steals her capon's leg. O, 'tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep himself in all companies! I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than be, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as I live, he had suffered for't: you shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentlemen-like dogs, under the duke's table: he had not been there (bless the mark) a pissing while; but all the chamber smelt tim Out with the dog, says one; What cur is that? says another; Whip him out, says the third; Hang him ap, says the duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab; and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs: Friend, quoth I, you mean to whip the dog? Ay, marry, do I, quoth he. You do him the more wrong, quoth I; 'twas I did the thing you wot of. He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for their servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, oth erwise he had been executed: I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffer ed for't: thou think'st not of this now!-Nay, I remember the trick you served me, when I took my leave of madam Silvia; did not I bid thee still mark me, and do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my leg and make water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst thou ever see me do such a trick? Enter Proteus and Julia. Pro. Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well, Where have you been these two days loitering? Pro. But she receiv'd my dog? Laun. No, indeed, she did not: here have I brought him back again. Pro. What, didst thou offer her this from me? Laun. Ay, sir; the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman's boys in the market-place; and then I offered her mine own; who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater. Pro. Go, get thee hence, and find my dog again, Away, I say: Stay'st thou to vex me here? -Sebastian, I have entertained thee, She loved me well, deliver'd it to me. Jul. It seems, you loved her not, to leave her token : She's dead, belike. Pro. Jul. Alas! Not so; I think, she lives. Pro. Why dost thou cry, alas? Jul. Because, methinks, that she loved you as well She dreams on him that has forgot her love; Pro. Well, give her that ring, and therewithal [To Launce.-Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you, be my mean Pre. And what says she, to my little jewel? Loun. Marry, she says, your dog was a cur; and you, currish thanks is good enough for such a present. tells Jul. From my master, sir Proteus, madam. |