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Weigh what convenience, both of time and | But our cold maids do dead men's fingers call
May fit us to our shape: if this should fail,
And, mermaid-like, awhile they bore her up:
Laer. Too much of water hast thou, poor
And therefore I forbid my tears: But yet
The woman will be out .-Adieu, my lord!
SCENE I-A Church-yard. Enter Two Clowns, with Spades, &c. 1 Clo, Is she to be buried in christian burial, that wilfully seeks her own salvation?
2 Clo. I tell thee, she is; therefore make her grave straight : the crowner hath set on her, and finds it christian burial.
2 Clo. Will yon ha' the truth on't?. If this had not been a gentlewoman, she should have been buried out of christian burial.
1 Clo. Why, there thou say'st: And the more pity; that great folks shall have countenance in this world to drown or hang themselves, more than their even christian. Come, my spade. There is no ancient gentlemen but
1 Clo. How can that be, unless she drown-gardeners, ditchers, and grave-makers; they ed herself in her own defence?
2 Clo. Why, 'tis found so.
hold up Adam's profession.
2 Clo. Was he a gentleman ?
1 Clo. He was the first that ever bore arms. 2 Clo. Why, he had none.
1 Clo. It must be se offendendo; it cannot be else. For here lies the point: If I drown myself wittingly, it argues an act: and an act 1 Clo. What, art a heathen? How dost thou hath three branches; it is, to act, to do, and understand the scripture? The scripture says, to perform: Argal, she drowned herself wit-Adam digged; Could he dig without arms? tingly. I'll put another question to thee: if thou an2 Clo. Nay, but hear you, goodman delver.swerest me not to the purpose, confess thy1 Clo. Give me leave. Here lies the water; good here stands the man; good: If the man go to this water, and drown himself, it is, will he, nill he, he goes; mark you that: but if the water come to him, and drown him, he drowns not himself: Argal, he, that is not guilty of his own death, shortens not his own life.
2 Clo. But is this law?
1 Clo. Ay, marry is't; crowner's-quest law.
2.Clo. Go to.
1 Co. What is he, that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter?
2 Clo. The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.
1 Clo. I like thy wit well, in good faith; the gallows does well: But how does it well? it does well to those that do ill: now thou dost
As fire-arms sometimes burst in proving their strength.
+ Skill. Orchis morio mas. 55 Immediately.
Presented. ** Licentious.
ill, to say, the gallows is built stronger than he church; argal, the gallows may do well to thee. To't again: come.
2 Clo. Who builds stronger than a mason, a shipwright, or a carpenter?
I Clo. Ay, tell me that, and unyoke*.
2 Clo. Mass, I cannot tell.
Enter HAMLET and HORATIO, at a distance.
1 Clo. Cudgel thy brains no more about it; for your dull ass will not mend his pace with beating; and when you are asked this question next, say, a grave-maker; the houses that he makes, lasts till doomsday. Go, get thee to Yaughan, and fetch me a stoup of liquor. [Exit 2 Clown.
1 Clown digs, and sings.. In youth when I did love, did lovet, Methought it was very sweet, To contract, 0, the time, for, ah, my behove O, methought, there was nothing meet. Ham. Has this fellow no feeling of his bu siness? he sings at grave-inaking.
Hor. Custom hath made it in him a property of easiness.
Ham. 'Tis e'en so: the hand of little employnient hath the daintier sense. 1 Clo. But age, with his stealing steps, Hath claw'd me in his clutch, And hath shipped me into the land, As if I had never been such. Throws up a scull. Ham. That scull had a tongue in it, and could sing once: How the knave jowls it to the ground, as if it were Cain's jaw-bone, that did the first murder! This might be the pate of a politician, which this ass now o'er-reaches; one that would circumvent God, might it not?
Hor. It might, my lord.
Ham. Or of a courtier; which would say, Good-morrow, my sweet lord! How dost thou, good lord? This might be my lord such-aone, that praised my lord such-a-one's horse, when he meant to beg it; might it not?
Hor. Ay, my lord.
Ham. Why, e'en so: and now my lady Worm's; chapless, and knocked about the mazzard with a sexton's spade: Here's fine revolution, an we had the trick to see't. Did these bones cost no more the breeding, but to play at loggatst with them? mine ache to think on't.
dits now, his quillets, his cases, his tenures, and his tricks? why does he suffer this rude knave now to knock him about the sconce T with a dirty shovel, and will not tell him of his action of battery? Humph! This fellow might be in's time a great buyer of land, with his statutes, his recognizances, his fines, his double vouchers, his recoveries: Is this the fine of his fines, and the recovery of his recoveries, to have his fine pate full of fine dirt? will his vouchers vouch him no more of his purchases, and double ones too, than the length and breadth of a pair of indentures? The very conveyances of his lands will hardly lie in this box? and must the inheritor himself have no more? ha?
Hor. Not a jot, my lord.
Ham. Is not parchment made of sheepskins?
Hor. Ay, my lord, and of calves'-skins too. Ham. They are sheep, and calves, which seek out assurance in that. I will speak to this fellow-Whose grave's this, sirrah?
1 Clo. Mine, sir.
O, a pit of clay for to be made [Sings. For such a guest is meet.
Ham. I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.
1 Clo. You lie out on't, sir, and therefore it is not your's: for my part, I do not lie in't, yet it is mine.
Ham. Thou dost lie in't, to be in't, and say it is thine: 'tis for the dead, not for the quick; therefore thou liest.
1 Clo. 'Tis a quick lie, sir; 'twill away again, from me to you.
Ham. What man dost thou dig it for?
1 Clo. For none neither.
Ham. Who is to be buried in't?
1 Clo. One, that was a woman, sir; but, rest her soul, she's dead.
Ham. How absolute the knave is! we must speak by the card **, or equivocation will undo us. By the Lord, Horatio, these three years I have taken note of it; the age is grown so picked, that the toe of the peasant comes so near the heel of the courtier, he galls his kibe. -How long hast thou been a grave-maker?
1 Clo. Of all the days i'the year, I came to't that day that our last king Hamlet overcame Fortinbras.
Ham. How long's that since?
1 Clo. Cannot you tell that? every fool can tell that: It was that very day that young A pick-axe, and a spade, a spade, [Sings. Hamlet was born: he that is mad, and sent For-and a shrouding-sheet:
O, a pit of clay for to be made
[Throws up a scull. Ham. There's another: Why may not that be the scull of a lawyer? Where be his quid
Ham. Ay, marry, why was he sent into England?
I Clo. Why, because he was mad: he shall recover his wits there; or, if he do not, 'tis no great matter there.
The song entire is printed in Percy's Reliques of Ancient English Poetry,
Vol. I.; it was written by Lord Vaux.
hood to lead it: As thus; Alexander died,
1 Clo. Twill not be seen in him there: there Alexander was buried, Alexander returneth the men are as mad as he.
Ham. How came he mad?
1 Clo. Very strangely, they say.
Ham. How strangely?
1 Clo. 'Faith, e'en with losing his wits.
1 Clo. Why, here in Denmark; I have been sexton here man and boy, thirty years. Ham. How long will a man lie i'the earth ere he rot?
1 Clo. 'Faith, if he be not rotten before he die, (as we have many pocky corses now-adays, that will scarce hold the laying in,) he will las. you some eight year, or nine year : a tanner will last you nine year.
Hum. Why he more than another?
1 Clo. Why, sir, his hide is so tanned with his trade, that he will keep out water a great while; and your water is a sore decayer of your whoreson dead body. Here's a scull now hath lain you i'the earth three-and-twenty years.
Ham. Whose was it?
1 Clo. A whoreson mad fellow's it was; Whose do you think it was?
Ham. Nay, I know not.
1 Clo. A pestilence on him for a mad rogue! he poured a flagon of Rhenish on my head once. This same scull sir, was Yorick's scull, the king's jester.
1 Clo. E'en that.
[Takes the scull.
Ham. Alas! poor Yorick !-I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips, that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one, now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen? Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must come make her laugh at that.-Pr'ythee, Horatio, tell me one thing.
Hor. What's that, my lord?
Ham. Dost thou think, Alexander look'd o'this fashion i'the earth?
Hor. E'en so.
Ham. And smelt so? pah!
[Throws down the scull.
Hor. E'en so, my lord. Ham. To what base uses we may return, Horatio! Why may not imagination trace the noble dust of Alexander, till he find it stopping a bung-hole?
Hor. Twere to consider too curiously, to consider so?
Ham. No faith, not a jot; but to follow him thither with modesty enough, and likeli
to dust; the dust is earth; of earth we make loam: And why of that loam, whereto he was converted, might they not stop a beer-barrel? Imperious+ Cæsar, dead, and turn'd to clay, Might stop a hole to keep the wind away: O, that the earth, which kept the world in awe, Should patch a wall to expel the winter's flaw !! But soft! but soft! aside:-Here comes the king.
Enter Priests, &c., in Procession; the Corpse of OPHELIA, LA ERTES, and Mourners fol lowing; King, Queen, their Trains, &c. The Queen, the courtiers: Who is this they follow? [token, And with such maimed rites! This doth beThe corse, they follow, did with desperate hand Fordo || its own life. 'Twas of some estate ¶. Couch we a while, and mark.
[Retiring with HORATIO. Laer. What ceremony else? Ham.
That is Laertes,
A very noble youth: Mark.
Yet here she is allow'd her virgin crants ++,
Laer. Must there no more be done?
And from her fair and unpolluted flesh,
What, the fair Ophelia!
I hoped, thou shouldst have been my Hamlet's
Countenance, complexion. + Imperial.
Ham. [Advancing.] What is he, whose grief
Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sor- | You do remember all the circumstance?
[stand Conjures the wand'ring stars, and makes them Like wonder-wounded hearers? this is I, Hamlet the Dane. [Leaps into the Grave. Laer. The devil take thy soul! [Grappling with him.
Ham. Thou pray'st not well.
I pr'ythee take thy fingers from my throat;
Hamlet, Hamlet! Good my lord, be quiet. [The Attendants part them and they come out of the Grave.
Ham. Why, I will fight with him upon this Until my eyelids will no longer wag. [theme, Queen. O my son! what theme? [thers Ham. I loved Ophelia; forty thousand broCould not, with all their quantity of love Make up my sum.-What wilt thou do for her? King. O, he is mad, Laertes.
Queen. For love of God, forbear him. Ham. 'Zounds, show me what thou'lt do: Wou'lt weep? woul't fight? woul't fast? woul't tear thyself?
Woul't drink up Esil? eat a crocodile?
Hear you, sir; What is the reason that you use me thus? I loved you ever: But it is no matter; Let Hercules himself do what he may,
The cat will mew, and dog will have his day. [Exit. King. I pray thee, good Horatio, wait upon him. [Exit HORATIO. Strengthen your patience in our last night's speech; [To LAERTES. We'll put the matter to the present push.Good Gertrude, set some watch over your son. This grave shall have a living monument: An hour of quiet shortly shall we see; fill then, in patience our proceeding be.
Hor. Remember it, my lord! [fighting, Ham. Sir, in my heart there was a kind of That would not let me sleep: methought, I lay Worse than the mutines in the bilboes §. Rashly,
And praised be rashness for it,- Let us know,
There's a divinity that shapes our ends,
That is most certain.
Ham. Up from my cabin, My sea-gown scarf'd about me, in the dark Groped I to find out them: had my desire; Finger'd their packet; and, in fine, withdrew To inine own room again: making so bold, My fears forgetting manners, to unseal Their grand commission; where I found, HoA royal knavery; an exact command,- [ratio, Larded with many several sorts of reasons, Importing Denmark's health,and England's too, With, ho! such bugs** and goblins in my life, That, on the supervise tt, no leisure bated, No, not to stay the grinding of the axe, My head should be struck off. Hor. Is't possible? Ham. Here's the commission; read it at more leisure.
But wilt thou hear now how I did proceed? Hor. Ay, 'beseech you.
Ham. Being thus benetted round with vilOr I could make a prologue to my brains, They had begun the play;-I sat me down; Devised a new commission; wrote it fair: I once did hold it, as our statists 5 do,. A baseness to write fair, and labour'd much How to forget that learning; but, sir, now It did me yeoman's service: Wilt thou know The effect of what I wrote?
Without debatement further, more, or less,
How was this seal'd? Ham. Why, even in that was heaven ordiI had my father's signet in my purse, [nant; Which was the model *** of that Danish seal: Folded the writ up in form of the other; Subscribed it; gave't the impression; placed it safely, [day The changeling never known: Now, the next Ham. So much for this, sir: now shall you Was our sea-fight; and what to this was se see the other;
SCENE II. A Hall in the Castle. Enter HAMLET and HORATIO.
Thou know'st already.
Eisel is vinegar; but Mr. Steevens conjectures the word should be Weisel, a river which alls into the Baltic ocean. Mutineers. Fetters and handcuffs brought from Bilboa, in Spain. Fail. Statesmen.
Looking over. Before.
*** Copy. ttt Following
Osr. Nay, good my lord; for my ease, in good faith. Sir, here is newly come to court, Laertes: believe me, an absolute gentleman, full of most excellent differences ¶, of very soft society, and great showing: Indeed, to speak feelingly of him, he is the card ** or calendar of gentry, for you shall find in him the continent + of what part a gentleman would see.
Hor. So Guildenstern and Rosencrantz go to't. [employment; Ham. Why, man, they did make love to this They are not near my conscience; their defeat Does by their own insinuation grow: 'Tis dangerous, when the baser nature comes Between the pass and fell incensed points Of mighty opposites. Hor. Why, what a king is this! Ham. Sir, his definement suffers no perdiHam. Does it not, think thee, stand me now tion in you;-though, I know, to divide him upon? [mother; inventorily, would dizzy the arithmetic of me. He that hath kill'd my king, and whored my mory; and yet but raw neither, in respect of Popp'd in between the election and my hopes; his quick sail. But, in the verity of extolment, Thrown out his angle for my proper life, I take him to be a soul of great article; and his And with such cozenage; is't not perfect con-infusion of such dearth and rareness, as, to science, [damn'd, make true diction of him, his semblable is his To quit him with this arm? and is't not to be mirror; and, who else would trace him, his To let this canker of our nature come umbrage, nothing more #. In further evil?
[England, Hor. It must be shortly known to him from What is the issue of the business there.
Ham. It will be short: the interim is mine;
Peace; who comes here?
Osr. Your lordship is right welcome back to
Ham. I humbly thank you, sir.-Dost know this water-fly ?
Hor. No, my good lord. Ham. Thy state is the more gracious; for 'tis a vice to know him: He hath much land, and fertile: let a beast be lord of beasts, and his crib shall stand at the king's mess: 'Tis a chough; but, as I say, spacious in the possession of dirt.
Osr. Sweet lord, if your lordship were at leisure, I should impart a thing to you from his majesty.
Ham. I will receive it, sir, with all diligence of spirit: Your bonnet to his right use; 'tis for the head.
Osr. I thank your lordship, 'tis very hot. Ham. No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.
Osr. It is indifferent cold, my lord, indeed. Ham. But yet, methinks it is very sultry and hot; or my complexion
Osr. Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry, as 'twere,-I cannot tell how-My lord, his majesty bade me signify to you, that he has laid a great wager on your head: Sir, this is the matter,
Osr. Your lordship speaks most infallibly of
Osr. I know, you are not ignorant-
Osr. You are not ignorant of what excellence Laertes is
Ham. I dare not confess that, lest I should compare with him in excellence; but, to know a man well, were to know himself.
Osr. I mean, sir, for his weapon; but in the imputation laid on him by them, in his meed¶¶ he's unfellowed.
Ham. What's his weapon?
Ham. That's two of his weapons: but, well. Osr. The king, sir, hath wagered with him six Barbary horses: against the which he has impawned *** as I take it, six French rapiers and poniards, with their assigns, as girdle, hangers ttt, and so: Three of the carriages, in faith, are very dear to fancy, very responsive to the hilts, most delicate carriages, and of very liberal conceit.
Ham. What call you the carriages? Hor. I knew, you must be edified by the margent, ere you had done.
Osr. The carriages, sir, are the hangers. Ham. The phrase would be more german $$$ to the matter, if we could carry a cannon by [HAMLET moves him to put on his Hat. our sides; I would, it might be hangers till then.
Ham. I beseech you, remember
*Requite. + For count some Editors read court. A bird like a jackdaw. The affected phrase of the time. * Compass or chart. The country and pattern for imitation. of the court jargon of that time. » Mentioning.
Waterflies are gnats. Distinguishing excellencies. This speech is a ridicule ¶ Praise.
*** Imponed, put down, staked. + That part of the belt by which the sword was suspended. Margin of a book which contains explanatory notes. $$$ A-kin.