(So that his gaines, by greedy guyles be got)
Him can I compt, a Peasant in his place.
Al officers, all aduocates at lawe,
Al men of arte, which get goodes greedily,
Must be content, to take a Peasants rome.

A straunge deuise, and sure my Lord wil laugh, To see it so, desgested in degrees.

But he whieh can, in office drudge, and droy,
And craue of al, (although euen now a dayes,
Most officers, commaund that should be cravde)
He that can share from euery pention payde
A Peeter peny weying halfe a pounde,
He that can plucke, sir Bennet by the sleeue,
And finde a fee, in his pluralitie,

He that can winke at any foule abuse,

As long as gaines, come trauling in therwith,
Shal such come see themselues in this my glasse?
Or shal they gaze, as godly good men do?
Yea let them come: but shal I tell you one thing?
How ere their gownes, be gathred in the backe,
With organe pipes, of old king Henries clampe,
How ere their cappes, be folded with a flappe,
How ere their beards, be clipped by the chinne,
How ere they ride, or mounted are on mules,
I compt them worse, than harmless homely hindes,
Which toyle in dede, to serue our common vse.

Strange tale to tel: all officers be blynde,
And yet their one eye, sharpe as Linceus sight,
That one eye winks, as though it were but blynd,
That other pries and peckes in euery place.
Come naked neede? and chance to do amisse?
He shal be sure, to drinke upon the whippe.
But priuie gaine, (that bribing busie wretch)
Can finde the meanes, to creepe and couch so low,
As officers, can neuer see him slyde,

Nor heare the trampling of his stealing steppes.
He comes (I thinke) vpon the blinde side still.

These things (my Lord) my glasse now sets to show,
Whereas long since, all officers were seene
To be men made, out of another moulde.
Epamynond, of whom I spake before
(Which was long time, an officer in Thebes)
And toylde in peace, as wel as fought in warre,
Would neuer take, or bribe, or rich reward.
And thus he spake, to such as sought his helpe:
If it be good, (quoth he) that you desire,
Then wil I do it, for the vertues sake:
If it be badde, no bribe can me infecte.
If so it be, for this my common weale,
Then am I borne, and bound by duetie both
To see it done, withouten furder words.
But if it be, vnprofitable thing,
And might empaire, offende, or yeld anoy
Vnto the state, which I pretende to stay,
Then al the gold (quoth he) that growes on earth
Shal neuer tempt, my free consent thereto.

How many now, wil treade Zeleucus steps?
Or who can byde, Cambyses cruel dome?
Cruel? nay iust, (yea softe and peace good sir)
For Iustice sleepes, and Troth is iested out.
O that al kings, would (Alexander like)
Hold euermore, one finger streight stretcht out,
To thrust in eyes, of all their master theeues. 17
But Brutus died, without posteritie,
And Marcus Crassus had none issue male,

17 False judges.

Cicero slipt, vnsene out of this world,
With many mo, which pleaded romaine pleas, 18
And were content, to vse their eloquence,
In maintenance, of matters that were good.
Demosthenes, in Athens vsde his arte,

(Not for to heape, himselfe great hourds of gold
But) stil to stay, the towne from deepe deceite
Of Philips wyles, which had besieged it.
Where shal we reade, that any of these foure
Did euer pleade, as carelesse of the trial?
Or who can say, they builded sumpteously?
Or wroong the weake, out of his own by wyles?
They were (I trowe) of noble houses borne,
And yet content, to use their best deuoire,
In furdering, eche honest harmelesse cause.
They did not rowte (like rude vnringed swine)
To roote nobilitie from heritage.

They stoode content, with gaine of glorious fame,
(Bycause they had, respect to equitie)
To leade a life, like true Philosophers.
Of all the bristle bearded Aduocates
That euer lorde their fees aboue the cause,
I cannot see (scarce one) that is so bolde
To shewe his face, and fayned Phisnomie
In this my glasse: but if he do (my Lorde)
He shewes himselfe, to be by uery kinde
A man which meanes, at euery time and tide,
To do smal right, but sure to take no wrong.

And master Merchant, he whose trauail ought Commodiously, to doe his countrie good, And by his toyle, the same for to enriche, Can finde the meane, to make Monopolyes Of euery ware, that is accompted strange. And feeds the vaine, of courtiers vaine desires Vntil the court, haue courtiers cast at heele, "Quia non habent vestes Nuptrales."

O painted fooles, whose hairbrainde heads must

haue

More clothes attones, than might become a king:
For whom the rocks, in forain realmes must spin,
For whom they carde, for whom they weaue their
For whom no wool, appeareth fine enough, [webbes
(I speake not this by English courtiers
Since English wool, was euer thought most worth)
For whom al seas, are tossed to and fro,
For whom these purples come from Persia,
The crimosine, and liuely red from Inde:
For whom soft silks, do sayle from Sericane,
And al queint costs, do come from fardest coasts:
Whiles in meane while, that worthy Emperour,
Which rulde the world, and had all welth at wil,
Could be content, to tire his wearie wife,
His daughters and, his niepces everychone,
To spin and worke the clothes that he shuld weare,
And neuer carde, for silks or sumpteous cost,
For cloth of gold, or tinsel figurie,

For Baudkin, broydrie, cutworks, nor conceits.
He set the shippes, of merchantmen on worke,
With bringing home, oyle, graine, and savrie salt
And such like wares, as serued common vse.

Yea for my life, those merchants were not woont To lend their wares, at reasonable rate, (To gaine no more, but Cento per cento) To teach yong men, the trade to sel browne paper, Yea Morrice bells, and byllets too sometimes,

18 Advocates.

That sit in office or Authoritie.

Pray, pray, (my priests) that neither loue nor mede
Do sway their minds, from furdering of right,
That they be not, too saintish nor too sowre,
But beare the bridle, euenly betwene both,
That stil they stoppe, one eare to heare him speake,
Which is accused, absent as he is:

That euermore, they mark what moode doth moue
The mouth which makes, the information,
That faults forpaste (so that they be not huge,
Nor do exceed, the bonds of loyaltie)
Do neuer quench, their charitable minde,
When as they see, repentance hold the reines
Of heady youth, which wont to runne astray.
That malice make, no mansion in their minds,
Nor enuy frete, to see how vertue clymes.
The greater Birth, the greater glory sure,
If deeds mainteine, their auncestors degree.

Shrinke not to say, that some do (Romainelike)
Esteme their pall, and habyte ouermuche.
And therefore pray (my priests) lest pride preuaile.
Pray that the soules, of sundrie damned gosts,
Do not come in, and bring good euidence
Before the God, which iudgeth al mens thoughts,
Of some whose welth, made them neglect their
charge

Til secret sinnes (untoucht) infecte their flocks
And bredde a scab, which brought the shep to bane.
Some other ranne, before the greedy woolfe,
And left the folde, vnfended from the fox [eares.
Which durst not barke, nor bawle for both theyr
Then pray (my priests) that such no more do so.

Pray for the nources, of our noble Realme, I meane the worthy Vniuersities, (And Cantabridge, shal haue the dignitie, Wherof I was, vnworthy member once) That they bring vp' their babes in decent wise: That Philosophy, smel no secret smoke, Which Magike makes, in wicked mysteries: That Logike leape, not ouer euery stile, Before he come, a furlong neare the hedge, With curious Quids, to maintain argument. That Sophistrie, do not deceiue it selfe, That Cosmography keepe his compasse wel, And such as be, Historiographers, Trust not to much, in euery tatlyng tong, Nor blynded be, by partialitie.

That Phisicke, thriue not ouer fast by murder:
That Numbring men, in al their euens and odds
Do not forget, that only Vnitie
Vnmeasurable, infinite and one.
That Geometrie, measure not so long,
Til al their measures out of measure be
That Musike with, his heauenly harmonie,
Do not allure, a heauenly minde from heauen,
Nor set mens thoughts, in worldly melodie,
Til heauenly Hierarchies be quite forgot :
That Rhetorick, learne not to ouerreache:
That Poetrie, presume not for to preache,
And bite mens faultes, with Satyres corosiues,
Yet pamper up hir owne with pultesses:
Or that she dote not vppon Erato,
Wherin should inuoke the good Caliope:
That Astrologie, looke not ouer high,
And light (meane while) in euery pudled pit :
That Grammer grudge not at our English tong,
Bycause it stands by Monosyllaba,
And cannot be declind as others are.
Pray thus (my priests) for vniuersities.
And if I haue forgotten any Arte,
Which hath bene taught, or exercised there,
Pray you to God, the good be not abusde,
With glorious shewe, of ouerloding skill.

Now these be past, (my priests) yet shal you pray
For common people, eche in his degree,
That God vouchsafe to graunt them al bis grace.
Where should I now beginne to bidde my beades?
Or who shal first be put in common place?
My wittes be wearie, and my eyes are dymme,
I cannot see who best deserues the roome,
Stand forth good Peerce, thou plowman by thy name,
Yet so the Sayler saith I do him wrong:
That one contends, his paines are without peare,
That other saith, that none be like to his,
In dede they labour both exceedingly.
But since I see no shipman that can liue
Without the plough, and yet I many see
Which liue by lande, that neuer saw the seas:
Therefore I say, stand forth Peerce plowman first,
Thou winst the roome, by verie worthinesse.

Behold him (priests) and though he stink of sweat Disdaine him not: for shal I tel you what? Such clime to heauen, before the shauen crownes : But how? forsooth, with true humilytie. Not that they hoord, their grain when it is cheape, Nor that they kill, the calfe to haue the milke, Nor that they set, debate betwene their lords, By earing vp the balks, that part their bounds: Nor for because, they can both crowche and creep (The guilefulst men, that euer God yet made) When as they meane, most mischiefe and deceite, Nor that they can, crie out on landelordes lowde, And say they racke, their rents an ace to high, When they themselues, do sel their landlords lambe For greater price than ewe was wont be worth. I see you Peerce, my glasse was lately scowrde. But for they feed, with frutes of their gret paines, Both King and Knight, and priests in cloyster pent: Therefore I say, that sooner some of them

Shal scale the walles which leade vs vp to heauen, Than cornfed beasts, whose bellie is their God, Although they preach, of more perfection.

And yet (my priests) pray you to God for Peerce, As Peerce can pinch, it out for him and you.

I tell thee (priest) when shoomakers make shoes, That are wel sowed, with neuer a stitch amisse, And vse no crafte, in vttring of the same: When Taylours steale, no stuffe from gentlemen, When Tanners are, with Corriers wel agreede, And both so dresse their hydes, that we go dry: When Cutlers leaue, to sel old rustie blades, And hide no crackes, with soder nor deceit : When tinkers make, no more holes than they founde, When thatchers thinke, their wages worth their worke, When colliers put no dust into their sacks, When maltemen make, vs drink no firmentie, When Davie Diker diggs, and dallies not, When smithes shoo horses, as they would be shod, When millers, toll not with a golden thumbe, When bakers make, not barme beare price of wheat, When brewers put, no bagage in their beere, When butchers blowe, not ouer al their fleshe, When horsecorsers, beguile no friendes with Jades, When weauers weight, is found in huswiues web. (But why dwel I, so long among these lowts?)

When mercers make, more bones to swere and lye, When vintners mix, no water with their wine, When printers passe, none errours in their bookes, When hatters vse, to bye none olde cast robes. When goldsmithes get, no gaines by sodred crownes, When vpholsters, sel fethers without dust, When pewterers, infect no tin with leade, When drapers draw, no gaines by giuing day, When perchmentiers, put in no ferret silke, When Surgeons heale, al wounds without delay. (Tush these are toys, but yet my glas sheweth al.)

When purveyours, prouide not for themselues, When Takers, take no brybes, nor vse no brags, When custumers, conceale no covine vsde, When Searchers see, al corners in a shippe, (And spie no pens by any sight they see) When shrives do serue, al processe as they ought, When baylifes strain, none other thing but strays, When auditours, their counters cannot change, When proude surueyours, take no parting pens, When siluer sticks rot on the Tellers fingers, And when receiuers, pay as they receiue, When al these folke, haue quite forgotten fraude. (Againe (my priests) a little by your leaue) When Sicophants, can finde no place in courte, But are espied, for Ecchoes, as they are, When roysters ruffle not aboue their rule, Nor colour crafte, by swearing precious coles: When Fencers fees, are like to apes rewards, A peece of breade, and therwithal a bobbe

When Lais liues, not like a ladies peare,

Nor vseth art, in dying of hir heare.
When al these thinges, are ordred as they ought,
And see themselues, within my glasse of steele,
Euen then (my priests) may you make holyday
And pray no more but ordinarie prayers.

And yet therin, I pray you (my good priests) Pray stil for me, and for my Glasse of steele That it (nor I) do any minde offend,

Bycause we shew, all colours in their kinde.
And pray for me, that (since my hap is such
To see men so) I may perceiue myselfe.
O worthy words, to end my worthlesse verse,
Pray for me Priests, I pray you pray for me.

FINIS.

Tam Marti, quam Mercurio.

EPILOGUS.

ALAS (my lord) my hast was al to hote I shut my glasse, before you gasde your fill, And at a glimse, my seely selfe haue spied, A stranger trowpe, than any yet were sene : Behold (my lorde) what monsters muster here, With Angels face, and harmefull helish harts, With smyling lookes, and depe deceitfull thoughts, With tender skinnes, and stony cruel mindes, With stealing steppes, yet forward feete to fraude. Behold, behold, they neuer stand content, With God, with kinde, with any help of Arte, But curle their locks, with bodkins and with braids, But dye their heare, with sundry subtill sleights, But paint and slicke, til fayrest face be foule, But bumbast, bolster, frisle, and perfume: They marre with muske, the balm which nature made, And dig for death, in dellicatest dishes. The yonger sorte, come pyping on apace, In whistles made of fine enticing wood, Til they haue caught, the birds for whom they bryded. The elder sorte, go stately stalking on, And on their backs, they beare both land and fee, Castles and towres, revenewes and receits, Lordships, and manours, fines, yea farmes and al. What should these be? (speake you my louely lord) They be not men: for why? they haue no beards. They be no boyes, which weare such side long gowns. They be no Gods, for al their gallant glosse. They be no diuels (I trow) which seeme so saintish. What be they? women? masking in mens weedes? With dutchkin dublets, and with ierkins iaggde? With Spanish spangs, and ruffes fet out of France, With high copt hattes, and fethers flaunt a flaunt? They be so sure euen Wo to Men in dede. Nay then (my lorde) let shut the glasse apace, High time it were, for my pore Muse to winke, Since al the hands, al paper, pen, and inke, Which euer yet, this wretched world possest, Cannot describe, this Sex in colours dewe, No, no (my Lorde) we gased haue inough, (And I too much, God pardon me therfore) Better loke of, than loke an ace to farre: And better mumme, than meddle ouermuch. But if my Glasse, do like my louely lorde, We wil espie, some sunny Sommers day, To loke againe, and see some semely sights. Meane while, my Muse, right humbly doth besech, That my good lorde, accept this ventrous verse, Vntil my braines, my better stuffe deuise.

FINIS.

Tam Marti, quam Mercurio.