CLXV. ROBIN ROUGHHEAD.-SCENE II. CHARACTERS.-Robin Roughhead; Snacks; and villagers. Robin. Ah! work, work, work! all day long, and no such thing as stopping a moment to rest! for there's old Snacks, the steward, always upon the lookout; and if he sees one, slap he has it down in his book, and then there's sixpence gone, plump. I do hate that old chap, and that's the truth on 't. Now, if I was lord of this place, I'd make one rule; there should be no such thing as work: it should be one long holiday all the year round. Your great folks have strange whims in their heads, that's for sartin. I don't know what to make of 'um, not I. Now there's all yon great park there, kept for his lordship to look at, and his lordship has not seen it these twelve years. Ah! if it was mine, I'd let all the villagers turn their cows in there, and it should not cost them a farthing; then, as the parson said last Sunday, I should be as rich as any in the land, for I should have the blessings of the poor. Dang it! here comes Snacks. Now I shall get a fine jobation, I suppose. (Enter Snacks, bowing very obsequiously. Robin takes his hat off, and stands staring at him.) I be main tired, Master Snacks; so I stopt to rest myself a little. I hope you'll excuse it. (Aside.) I wonder what the dickens he's a grinning at. Snacks. Excuse it! I hope your lordship's infinite goodness and condescension will excuse your lordship's most obsequious, devoted, and humble servant, Timothy Snacks, who is come into the presence of your lordship, for the purpose of informing your lordship Rob. Lordship! he, he, he! Wall! I never knew as I had a hump before. Why, Master Snacks, you grow funny in your old age. Snacks. No, my lord, I know my duty better. I should never think of being funny with a lord. Rob. What lord? Oh, you mean the Lord Harry, I suppose. No, no, must not be too funny with him, or he'll be after playing the very deuce with you. Snacks. I say, I should never think of jesting with a person of your lordship's dignified character. Rob. Dig-dig-what? Why, now I look at you, I see how it is; you are mad. I wonder what quarter the moon's in. Dickens! how your eyes do roll! I never saw you so before. How came they to let you out alone? Snacks. Your lordship is most graciously pleased to be facetious. Rob. Why, what gammon are you at? Don't come near me, for you've been bit by a mad dog; I'm sure you have. Snacks. If your lordship would be so kind as to read this letter, it would convince your lordship. Will your lordship condescend? Rob. Why, I would condescend, but for a few reasons, and one of 'em is, I can't read. Snacks. I think your lordship is perfectly right; for these pursuits are too low for one of your lordship's nobility. Rob. Lordship, and lordship again! I'll tell you what, Master Snacks; let's have no more of your fun, for I won't stand it any longer, for all you be steward here: my name's Robin Roughhead; and if you don't choose to call me by that name, I shan't answer you, that's flat. (Aside.) I don't like him well enough to stand his jokes. Snacks. Why, then, Master Robin be so kind as to attend, while I read this letter. (Reads.) "Sir, This is to inform you, that my Lord Lackwit died this morning, after a very short illness; during which he declared that he had been married, and had an heir to his estate. The woman he married was commonly called or known by the name of Roughhead. She was poor and illiterate, and through motives of false shame, his lordship never acknowledged her as his wife. She has been dead some time since, and left behind her a son, called Robin Roughhead. Now, this said Robin is the legal heir to the estate. I have therefore sent you the necessary writings to put him into immediate pos session, according to his lordship's last will and testament. Yours to command, "KIT CODICIL, Att'y at Law." Rob. What! what! all mine? The houses, the trees, the fields, the hedges, the ditches, the gates, the horses, the dogs, the cats, and the hens, and the cows, and the pigs, and the-what! are they, are they all mine?--and I, Robin Roughhead, am the rightful lord of all this estate? Do n't keep me a minute, now, but tell me, is it so? Make haste, tell me, quick, quick! Set the -go, get Call all Snacks. I repeat it, the whole estate is yours. Rob. Huzza! huzza! (Catches off Snacks' hat.) bells a-ringing. Set the ale a-running. Setmy hat full of guineas to make a scramble with. the tenants together. I'll lower their rents--I ’ll— Snacks. I hope your lordship will do me the favor to— Rob. Why, that may be as it happens. I can't tell. (Carelessly.) Snacks. Will your lordship dine at the castle to-day? Rob. Yes. Snacks. What would your lordship choose for dinner? Rob. Beef-steaks and onions, and plenty of 'em. Snacks. Beef-steaks and onions! What a dish for a lord! (Aside.) He'll be a savory bit for my daughter, though. Rob. What are you at there, Snacks? Go, get me the guineas; make haste. I'll have the scramble, and then I'll go to Dolly and tell her the news. Snacks. Dolly! Pray, my lord, who's Dolly? Rob. Why, Dolly is to be my lady, and your mistress, if I find you honest enough to keep you in my employ. Snacks. (Aside.) He rather smokes me. I have a beauteous daughter, who is allowed to be the very pink of perfection. Rob. Hang your daughter! I have got something else to think of. Don't talk to me of your daughter. Stir your stumps, and get the money. Snacks. I am your lordship's most obsequious. (Aside.) Bless me, what a peer of the realm! (Exit.) Rob. Ha ha ha! What work I will make in the vil lage! Work! no, there shall be no such thing as work; it shall be all play. Where shall I go to? I'll go to -no, I won't go there. I'll go to Farmer Hedgestakes, and tell himno, I'll not go there, I'll go-I'll go no where; yes, I will; I'll go everywhere; I'll be neither here nor there, nor anywhere else. How pleased Dolly will be when she hears (Enter Villagers, shouting.) Dick, Tom, Jack, how are you, my lads? Here's news for you! Come, stand round, make a ring, and I'll make a bit of a speech to you. (They all get round him.) First of all, I suppose Snacks has told you that I'm your landlord? Villagers. We are all glad of it. Rob. So am I; and I'll make you all happy. I'll lower all your rents. All. Huzza! long live Lord Robin ! Rob. You shan't pay no rent at all. All. Huzza! huzza! long live Lord Robin! Rob. I'll have no poor people in the parish, for I'll make 'em all rich; I'll have no widows, for I'll marry 'em all. (All shout.) I'll have no orphan children, for I'll father 'em all myself; and if that's not doing as a lord should do, then I say I know nothing about the matter, that's all. All. Huzza! huzza! (Enter Snacks.) Snacks. I have brought your lordship the money. (Aside.) He means to make 'em fly; so I have taken care the guineas shall be all light. Rob. Now, then, young and old, great and small, little and tall, merry men all, here's among you. (Throws the money; they scramble.) Now you've got your pockets filled, come to the castle, and I'll fill all your mouths for you. (Villagers carry him off, shouting. Snacks follows.) CLXVI.-ROBIN ROUGHHEAD.-SCENE. III. CHARACTERS.-Robin; Snacks; and servant. (Robin sitting, and Snacks waiting on him. Enter servant.) Serv. PLEASE you, Master Snacks, here's John the carter says he's so lame he can't walk, and he hopes you'll let him have the pony, to-morrow, to ride by the wagon. Snacks. Can't walk, can't he? Lame, is he? Serv. Yes, sir. Snacks. And what does he mean by being lame at this busy time? Tell him he must walk. 'Tis my will. The Rob. (Aside to Servant.) You, sir, bring me John's whip, will you? (Exit Servant.) That's right, Snacks. lazy fellow, what business has he to be lame? Snacks. Oh, please your lordship, 'tis as much as I can do to keep these fellows in order. Rob. Oh, they are sad dogs. Not walk, indeed! I never heard of such impudence. Snacks. Oh, shameful, shameful! If I were behind him, I'd make him walk. (Enter Servant, with a whip, which he gives to Robin.) Rob. Come, Snacks, dance me a hornpipe. Snacks. What! Rob. A hornpipe. Snacks. A hornpipe! I can't dance, my lord. Rob. Come, none of your nonsense. I know you can dance. Why, you was made for dancing; there's a leg and foot. Come, begin! Snacks. Here's no music. Rob. Is n't there? Then I'll soon make some. Look ye, here's my fiddlestick. How d'ye like it? Come, Snacks, you must dance. 'Tis my will. (Whips him.) Snacks. Indeed, I'm not able. Rob. Not able? you must dance. Oh, shameful! shameful! Come, come, 'Tis my will. (Whips him.) Snacks. Must I? Then here goes. (Hops about.) Rob. What! d'ye call that dancing fit for a lord? Come, quicker, quicker. (Whips Snacks round the stage, who roars |