lodgings, Says one of 'em to me, Would your honour bave a coach?. -No, man, said I, not now (with all the civility imaginable)-I'll carry you and your Doll too? (said he) miss Margery, for the same price.-Upon which the masculine beasts about us fell a laughing; then I turn'd round in a great passion, curse me, (says I) fellow, but I'll trounce thee.And as I was holding out my hand in a threatening poster-thus-he makes a cut at me with his whip, and striking me over the nail of my little finger, it gave me such exquisite torter that I fainted away; and while I was in this condition, the mob pick'd my pocket of my purse, my scissars, my mocco smelling-bottle, and my huswife? Bid. I shall laugh in his face. [Aside.] I am afraid you are in great pain; pray sit down, Mr Fribble, but I hope your hand is in no danger. [They sit. Frib. Not in the least, maam; pray don't be apprehensive-A milk-poultice, and a gentle sweat to-night, with a little manna in the morning, I am confident, will relieve me entirely. Bid. But pray, Mr Fribble, do you make use of à huswife?! Frib. I can't do without it, maam; there is a club cũ us, all young bachelors, the sweetest society in the world; and we meet three times a week at each others lodgings, where we drink tea, hear the chat of the day, invent fashions for the ladies, make models of 'em, and cut out patterns in paper. We were the first inventors of knotting, and this fringe is the original produce and joint labour of our little community. Bid. And who are your pretty set, pray? Frib, There's Phil Vbiffle. Jacky Wagtail, my lord Trip, Billy Dimple, Sir Dilbery D ddle, and your humbleBid. What a sweet collection of happy creatures! Frib. Indeed and so we are, missBut a prodigious fracas disconcerted us some time ago at Billy Dimple'sthree drunken naughty women of the town burst into our club-room, curst us all, threw down the china, broke six looking-glasses, scalded us with the slop-bason, and scrat poor Phil Whiffle's cheek in such a manner that he has kept his bed these three weeks. Bid. Indeed, Mr Fribble, I think all our sex have great reason to be angry; for if you are so happy now you are VOL. I. Ꭰ bachelors 'bachelors, the ladies may wish and sigh to very little purpose. Frib. You are mistaken, I assure you; I am prodigiously rallied about my passion for you, I can tell you that, and am look'd upon as lost to our society already; he, he, he! Bid. Pray, Mr Fribble, now you have gone so far, don't think me impudent if I long to know how you intended to use the lady who shall be honour'd with your affections? Frib. Not as most other wives are used, I assure you; all the domestic business will be taken off her hands; I shall make the tea, comb the dogs, and dress the children myself; so that tho' I'm a commoner, Mrs Fribble will lead the life of a woman of quality! for she will have nothing to do, but lie in bed, play at cards, and scold the ser vants. Bid. What a happy creature she must be ! Frib. Do you really think so? then pray let me have a little serous talk with you.- Though my passion is not of a long standing, I hope the sincerity of my inten tions Bid. Ha, ha, ha! Trib. Go thou wild thing. [Pats ber.] The devil take me but there is no talking to you.-How can you use me in this barbarous manner! if I had the constitution of an alderman it would sink under my sufferings.-Hooman nater can't support it.- Bid. Why, what would you do with me, Mr Fribble? Frib. Well, I vow I'll beat you if you talk so————— -Don't look at me in that manner-Flesh and blood can't bear it —I could—but I won't grow indecent Bid. But pray, Sir, where are the verses you were to write upon me? I find if a young lady depends too much upon such fine gentlemen as you, she'll certainly be disappointed. Frib. I vow, the flutter I was put into this afternoon has quite turn'd my senses-here they are tho'-and I believe you'll like 'em. Bid. There can be no donbt of it. [Curtseys. Frib. I protest, miss, I don't like that curtsy-Look at me, and always rise in this manner. [Shews her.] But, my dear creteer, who put on your cap to-day? They have ade made a fright of you, and it is as yellow as old lady Crow-When we are settled, I'll dress your heads foot's neck. myself. Bid. Pray read the verses to me, Mr Fribble. Frib. I obey-Hem !-William Fribble, Esq; to miss Biddy Bellair-greeting. No ice so bard, so cold as I, 'Till warm'd and soften'd by your eye: -in the mind; Then take with me Love's better part, How do you like 'em? Bid. Ha, ha, ha! I swear they are very pretty-but I don't quite understand 'em. Frib. These light pieces are never so well understood in reading as singing; I have set 'em myself, and will endea vour to give 'em you La-la-l have an abominable cold, and can't sing a note: however the tune's nothing, the manner's all. No ice so hard, &c. Enter TAG, running. [Sings. T Tag. Your aunt, your aunt, your aunt, madam! Frib. What's the matter? Bid. Hide, hide Mr Fribble, Tag, or we are ruin'd. Frib. Oh! for heaven's sake, put me any where, so I don't dirty my cloths. Bid. Put him into the store-room Tag, this moment. Frib. Is it a damp place, Mrs Tag? The floor is boarded, I hope? Tag. Indeed it is not, Sir. Frib. What shall I do? I shall certainly catch my death! where's my cambric handkerchief, and my salts? I shall certainly have my hysterics! [Runs out. Bid. In, in, in- -So now let the other come as soon as he will; I do not care if I had twenty of 'em, so they would but come one-after another. Enter TAG. Was my aunt coming? Tag. No, 'twas Mr Flash, I suppose, by the length of his stride, and the cock of his hat. He'll be here this minute-What shall we do with him? Bid. I'll manage him, I warrant you, and try his courage; be sure you are ready to second me-we shall have pure sport. Tag. Hush! here he comes. Enter FLASH, singing. Flash. Well, my blossom, here am I! what hopes for a poor dog, eh? how! the maid here! then I've lost the town, dammee! not a shilling to bribe the governor; she'll spring a mine, and I shall be blown to the devil. Bid. Don't be asham'd, Mr Flash; I have told Tag the whole affair, and she's my friend I can assure you. Flash. Is she? then she won't be mine, I am certain. [Aside.] Well, Mrs Tag, you know, I suppose, what's to be done this young lady and I have contracted ourselves; and so, if you please to stand bride-maid, why, we'll fix the wedding-day directly. Tag. The wedding-day, Sir? Flash. The wedding-day, Sir? Ay, Sir, the weddingday, Sir; what have you to say to that, Sir? Bid. My dear Captain Flash, don't make such a noise you'll wake my aunt. Flash. And suppose I did, Child, what then? Bid. She'd be frighten'd out of her wits. Flash. At me, Miss! frighten'd at me? Tout au contraire, I assure you; you mistake the thing, child; I have some reason to believe, I am not quite so shocking. [Affectedly. Tag. Indeed, Sir, you flatter yourself—But pray, Sir, what are your pretensions? Flash. The lady's promises, my own passion, and the best mounted blade in the three kingdoms. If any man can produce a better title, let him take her; if not, the d-l mince me if I give up an atom of her. Bid. He's in a fine passion, if he would but hold it. Tag. Tag. Fray, Sir, hear reason a little. Flash. I never do, Madam; it is not my method of proceeding; here is my logic! [Draws bis sword.] Sa, sa, -my best argument is cart over arm, madam, ha, ha, [lunges.] and if he answers that, madam, through my small guts, my breath, blood, and mistress, are all at his service-Nothing more, madam. Bid. This 'll do, this 'll do. Tag. But Sir, Sir, Sir? Flash. But madam, madam, madam: I profess blood, madam, I was bred up to it from a child; I study the book of fate, and the camp is my university; I have attended the lectures of Prince Charles upon the Rhine, and Bathiani upon the Po, and have extracted knowledge from the mouth of a cannon;, I'm not to be frighten'd with squibs, madam, no, no. Bid. Pray, dear Sir, don't mind her, but let me prevail with you to go away this time-Your passion is very fineto be sure, and when my aunt and Tag are out of the way, I'll let you know when I'd have you come again. Flash. When you'd have me come again, child? And suppose I never would come again, what do you think of that now, ha? You pretend to be afraid of your aunt; your aunt knows what's what, too well to refuse a good match when 'tis offer'd-Lookee, miss, I'm a man of honour, glory is my aim, I have told you the road I am in, and do you see here, child, [Shewing his sword.] no tricks upon travellers. Bid. But pray, Sir, hear me. Flash. No, no, no, I know the world, madam: I am as well known at Covent-Garden as the dail, madam: I'll break a lamp, bully a constable, bam a justice, or bilk a box-keeper, with any man in the liberties of Westminster; what do you think of me now, madam? Bid. But pray, Sir, hear me. Flash. Come, come, come, few words are best, somebody's happier than somebody, and I'm a poor silly fellow; ha, ha,- -That's all-Look you, child, to be short, (for I'm a man of reflection) I have but a bagatelle to say to you: I am in love with you up to hell and desperation; may the sky crush me if I am not- -But since there is another more fortunate than I, adieu, Biddy! prosperity to the happy rival, patience to poor Flash; but the first |