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A league from Epidamnum had we sail'd, After his brother; and importun'd me
That his attendant-so his case was like,
Reft of his brother, but retain'd his nameBut longer did we not retain much hope ; Might bear him company in the quest of him ; For what obscured light the heavens did grant Whom whilst I labour'd of a love to see, Did but convey unto our fearful minds
I hazarded the loss of whom I lov'd. A doubtful warrant of immediate death; Five summers have I spent in furthest Greece, Which, though myself would gladly have em- Roaming clean through the bounds of Asia, brac'd,
And, coasting homeward, came to Ephesus, Yet the incessant weepings of my wife, 70 Hopeless to find, yet loath to leave unsought Weeping before for what she saw must come, Or that or any place that harbours men. And piteous plainings of the pretty babes, But there must end the story of my life; That mourn'd for fashion, ignorant what to fear, And happy were I in my timely death, Forc'd me to seek delays for them and me. Could all my travels warrant me they live. And this it was, for other means was none: Duke. Hapless Ægeon, whom the fates have The sailors sought for safety by our boat,
mark'd And left the ship, then sinking-ripe, to us: To bear the extremity of dire mishap! My wife, more careful for the latter-born, Now, trust me, were it not against our laws, Had fasten'd him unto a small spare mast, Against my crown, my oath, my dignity Such as seafaring men provide for storms; Which princes, would they, may not disannul, To him one of the other twins was bound, My soul should sue as advocate for thee. Whilst I had been like heedful of the other. But though thou art adjudged to the death, The children thus dispos'd, my wife and I, And passed sentence may not be recallid Fixing our eyes on whom our care was fix'd, But to our honour's great disparagement, Fasten'd ourselves at either end the mast; Yet will I favour thee in what I can : And floating straight, obedient to the stream, Therefore, merchant, I'll limit thee this day 150 Were carried towards Corinth, as we thought. To seek thy life by beneficial help: At length the sun, gazing upon the earth, Try all the friends thou hast in Ephesus ; Dispers'd those vapours that offended us, Beg thou, or borrow, to make up the sum, And by the benefit of his wished light
And live ; if no, then thou art doom'd to die. The seas wax'd calm, and we discovered Gaoler, take him to thy custody. Two ships from far making amain to us;
Gaol. I will, my lord. Of Corinth that, of Epidaurus this:
Æge. Hopeless and helpless doth Ægeon wend, But ere they came,--01 let me say no more ; But to procrastinate his lifeless end, Ereunt, Gather the sequel by that went before. Duke. Nay, forward, old man; do not break
SCENE II.--The Mart. For we may pity, though not pardon thee.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse, DROMIO of Ege. O! had the gods done so, I had not now
Syracuse, and a Merchant. Worthily term'd them merciless to us,
Mer. Therefore, giveout you are of Epidamnum, For, ere the ships could meet by twice five Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate. leagues,
100 This very day, a Syracusian merchant We were encounter'd by a mighty rock; Is apprehended for arrival here; Which being violently borne upon,
And not being able to buy out his life, Our helpful ship was splitted in the midst ; According to the statute of the town So that in this unjust divorce of us
Dies ere the weary sun set in the west. Fortune had left to both of us alike
There is your money that I had to keep. What to delight in, what to sorrow for.
Ant. S. Go bear it to the Centaur, where we Her part, poor soul ! seeming as burdened
host, With lesser weight, but not with lesser woe, And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee. Was carried with more speed before the wind, Within this hour it will be dinner-time: And in our sight they three were taken up 110 Till that, I'll view the manners of the town, By fishermen of Corinth, as we thought. Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings, At length another ship had seized on us; And then return and sleep within mine inn, And, knowing whom it was their lap to save, For with long travel I am stiff and weary. Gave healthful welcome to their shipwreck'd Get thee away. guests;
Dro. S. Many a man would take you at your And would have reft the fishers of their prey, word, Had not their bark been very slow of sail; And go indeed, having so good a mean. Eril. And therefore homeward did they bend their Ant. S. A trusty villain, sir, that very oft, course.
When I am dull with care and melancholy, Thus have you heard me sever'd from my bliss, Lightens my humour with his merry jests. That by misfortunes was my life prolong'd, What, will you walk with me about the town, To tell sad stories of my own mishaps. 120 And then go to my inn and dine with me? Duke. And, for the sake of them thou sorrow- Mer. I am invited, sir, to certain merchants, est for,
Of whom I hope to make much benefit; Do me the favour to dilate at full
I crave your pardon. Soon at five o'clock, What hath befall'n of them and thee till now. Please you, I'll meet with yon upon the mart,
£ge. My youngest boy, and yet my eldest care, And afterwards consort you till bed-time: At eighteen years became inquisitive
My present business calls me from you now.
Ant. S. Farewell till then: I will go lose myself,
Commends me to the thing I cannot get.
Dro. E. Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix;
She that doth fast till you come home to dinner,
40 Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels. Exit.
Here comes the almanac of my true date.
Dro. E. Return'd so soon! rather approach'd
The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit,
Ant. S. Stop in your wind, sir. Tell me this,
Where have you left the money that I gave you?
To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper;
Ant. S. I am not in a sportive humour now,
Dro. E. I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner.
Ant. S. Thy mistress' marks! what mistress, slave, hast thou?
Ant. S. Now, as I am a Christian, answer me, In what safe place you have bestow'd my money; Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours That stands on tricks when I am undispos'd. 80 Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me? Dro. E. 1 have some marks of yours upon my
SCENE I.-The House of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.
Adr. Neither my husband nor the slave return'd,
Luc. Perhaps some merchant hath invited him,
Time is their master, and, when they see time,
Adr. Why should their liberty than ours be
Luc. Because their business still lies out o'
Adr. Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill.
There's nothing situate under heaven's eye
Adr. This servitude makes you to keep unwed.
Luc. Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey. Adr. How if your husband start some other where?
Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders,
Luc. Till he come home again, I would forbear,
They can be meek that have no other cause.
When I desir'd him to come home to dinner, 60 He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold: "Tis dinner-time,' quoth I; 'my gold!' quoth he: 'Your meat doth burn,' quoth I; 'my gold!' quoth he:
'Will you come home?' quoth I; 'my gold!' quoth he:
Adr. Horn-mad, thou villain!
Dro. E. I mean not cuckold-mad; but, sure, I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die.
he is stark mad.
Luc. How many foud fools serve mad jealousy!
'Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?'
'The pig,' quoth I, 'is burn'd;' 'my gold!' quoth he:
'My mistress, sir,' quoth I; 'hang up thy mis
I know not thy mistress: out on thy mistress!' Luc. Quoth who?
Dro. E. Quoth my master:
'I know,' quoth he, 'no house no wife, no mis.
So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
Adr. Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.
Dro. E. Go back again, and be new beaten home?
For God's sake, send some other messenger.
Adr. His company must do his minions grace, Whilst I at home starve for a merry look. Hath homely age the alluring beauty took From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it : Are my discourses dull? barren my wit? If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd, Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard: Do their gay vestments his affections bait? That's not my fault; he's master of my state: What ruins are in me that can be found By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground Of my defeatures. My decayed fair A sunny look of his would soon repair; But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale And feeds from home: poor I am but his stale. Luc. Self-harming jealousy! fie! beat it hence. Adr. Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense.
I know his eye doth homage otherwhere,
Dro. E. And he will bless that cross with other beating:
Between you I shall have a holy head.
Adr. Hence, prating peasant! fetch thy master home.
Dro. E. Am Iso round with you as you with me, That like a football you do spurn me thus ? You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither: If I last in this service, you must case me in leather. Exit. Lur. Fie, how impatience lowereth in your face!!
Will lose his beauty and though gold bides still,
SCENE II. A public Place.
Ant. S. The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up
Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.
How now, sir! is your merry humour alter'd?
Dro. S. What answer, sir? when spake I such a word?
Ant. S. Even now, even here, not half an hour since.
Dro. S. I did not see you since you sent me hence,
Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me. Ant. S. Villain, thou didst deny the gold's receipt,
And told'st me of a mistress and a dinner;
Think'st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and that. Beating him. Dro. S. Hold, sir, for God's sake! now your jest is earnest :
Upon what bargain do you give it me?
Do use you for my fool and chat with you, Ant. S. Nay, not sound, I pray you.
Dro. S. Sure ones then.
Ant. S. Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.
Dro, S. The one, to save the money that he And fashion your demeanour to my looks, spends in tiring; the other, that at dinner they Or I will beat tbis method in your sconce. should not drop in his porridge.
Dro. S. Sconce call you it ? so you would leave Ant. S. You would all this time have proved battering, I had rather have it a head : an yon there is no time for all things. use these blows long, I must get a sconce for Dro. S. Marry, and did, sir; namely, no time my head and ensconce it too; or else I shall to recover hair lost by nature. seek my wit in my shoulders. But, I pray, sir, Ant. S. But your reason was not substantial, why am I beaten ?
4) why there is no time to recover. Ant. S. Dost thou not know?
Dro. S. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, Dro. S. Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten. and therefore to the world's end will have bale Ant. S. Shall I tell you why?
followers. Dro. S. Ay, sir, and wherefore ; for, they say, Ant. $. I knew 'twould be a bald conclusion : every why hath a wherefore,
But soft! who wafts us yonder ? Ant. S. Why, first,--for flouting me; and, then, wherefore, -
Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA. For urging it the second time to me.
Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and Dro. S. Was there ever any man thus beaten frown: out of season,
Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects, When, in the why and the wherefore is neither I am not Adriana nor thy wife. rime nor reason ?
The time was once when thou unurg'd would'st Well, sir, I thank you. Ant. S. Thank me, sir! for what?
That never words were music to thine ear, Dro. S. Marry, sir, for this something, that That never object pleasing in thine eye, you gave me for nothing.
That never touch well welcome to thy hand, Ant. S. I'll make you amends next, to give That never meat sweet-savour'd in thy taste, 120 you nothing for something. But say, sir, is it Unless I spake, or look’d, or touch'd, or carv'd dinner-time?
to thee. Dro. S. No, sir : I think the meat wants that How comes it now, my husband, O! how comes it, I have.
That thou art thus estranged from thyself? Ant. S. In good time, sir ; what's that ? Thyself I call it, being strange to me, Dro. S. Basting
60 That, undividable, incorporate, Ant. S. Well, sir, then 'twill be dry.
Am better than thy dear self's better part. Dro. S. If it be, sir, I pray you eat none of it. Ah! do not tear away thyself from me, Ant. S. Your reason ?
For know, my love, as easy may'st thou fall Dro. S. Lest it make you choleric, and pur. A drop of water in the breaking gulf, chase me another dry basting.
And take unmingled thence that drop again, iso An'. S. Well, sir, learn to jest in good time: Without addition or diminishing, there's a time for all things.
As take from me thyself and not me too. Dro. S. I durst have denied that, before you How dearly would it touch thee to the quick, were so choleric.
Should'st thou but hear I were licentious, Ant. S. By what rule, sir ?
70 And that this body, consecrate to thee, Dro. S. Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the By ruffian lust should be contaminate! plain bald pate of Father Time himself.
Would'st thou not spit at me, and spurn at me, Ant. S. Let's hear it.
And hurl the name of husband in my face, Dro. S. There's no time for a man to recover And tear the stain'd skin off my harlot-brow, his bair that grows bald by nature.
And from my false hand cut the wedding-ring, 140 Ant. S. May he not do it by fine and recovery? And break it with a deep-divorcing vow?
Dro. S. Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig and I know thou canst ; and therefore see thou do it. recover the lost hair of another man.
I am possess'd with an adulterate blot ; Ant. S. Why is Time such a niggard of hair, My blood is mingled with the crime of lust: being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement ? 8.) For if we two be one and thou play false,
Dro. S. Because it is a blessing that he be- I do digest the poison of thy flesh, stows on beasts : and what he hath scanted men Being strumpeted by thy contagion. in hair he hath given them in wit.
Keep then fair league and truce with thy true Ant. S. Why, but there's many a man hath bed; more hair than wit.
I live distain'd, thou undishonoured. Dro. S. Not a man of those but he hath the Ant. S. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know wit to lose his hair.
Ant. S. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men In Ephesus I am but two hours old, plain dealers without wit.
As strange unto your town as to your talk; Dro. S. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost : Who, every word by all my wit being scann'a, yet he loseth it in a kinel of jollity.
Want wit in all one word to understand. Ant. S. For what reason ?
Luc. Fie, brother: how the world is chang'd Dro. S. For two; and sound ones too.
When were you wont to use my sister thus ? Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell ?
Known unto these, and to myself disguis'd ! Dro. S. By me?
I'll say as they say, and persever so, Adr. By thee; and this thou didst return And in this mist at all adventures go. from him,
Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate ? That he did buffet thee, and in bis blows
Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your Denied my house for his, me for his wife,
pate. Ant. S. Did you converse, sir, with this gentle- Luc. Come, come, Antipholus ; we dine too woman?
Excunt. What is the course and drift of your compact ? Dro. S. I, sir? I never saw her till this time.
SCENE I.-A public Place.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of
Ephesus, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR. Ant. S. How can she thus then call us by our names,
Ant. E. Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse Unless it be by inspiration ?
us all ; Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours. To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave, Say that I linger'd with you at your shop Abetting him to thwart me in my mood ! To see the making of her carcanet, Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt, And that to-morrow you will bring it home. But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt. But here's a villain that would face me down Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of tbine; He met me on the mart, and that I beat him, Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine,
And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold, Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state, And that I did deny my wife and house. Makes me with thy strength to communicate: Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by If aught possess thee from me, it is dross,
this? U'surping ivy, brier, or idle moss;
Dro. E, Say what you will, sir, but I know Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion
what I know; Infect thy sap and live on thy confusion. That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand Ant. S. To me she speaks ; she moves me for to show : her theme!
If the skin were parchment and the blows you What! was I married to her in my dream,
gave were ink, Or sleep I now and think I hear all this? Your own handwriting would tell you what I What error drives our eyes and ears amiss ?
think. Until I know this sure uncertainty,
Ant. E. I think thou art an ass. I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy.
Marry, so it doth appear Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for By the wrongs I suffer and the blows I bear. dinner.
190 I should kick, being kick'd; and being at that Dro. S. O, for my beads! Icross me for a sinner. pass, This is the fairy land : 01 spite of spites, You would keep from my heels and beware of We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish sprites. If we obey them not, this will ensue,
Ant. E. You are sad, Signior Balthazar: pray They'll suckour breath, or pinch us black and blue. God, our cheer Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself and answer'st May answer my good will and your good welnot ?
come here. Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou Bal, I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your sot!
welcome dear. Dro. S. I am transformed, master, am I not? Ant. E. O Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or Ant. S. I think thou art, in mind, and so am I. fish, Dro. S. Nay, master, both in mind and in my A table-full of welcome makes scarce one dainty shape.
dish. Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form.
Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every Dro. S.
No, I am an ape.
churl affords. Luc. If thou art chang'd to aught, 'tis to an ass. Ant. E. And welcome more common, for that's Dro. S. 'Tis true; she rides me and I long for nothing but words. grass.
Bal. Small cheer and great welcome makes a 'Tis so, I am an ass ; else it could never be But I should know her as well as she knows me. Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host and more
Adr. Come, come; no longer will I be a fool, sparing guest : To put the finger in the eye and weep,
But though my cates be mean, take them in good Whilst man and master laugh my woes to scorn. part; Come, sir, to dinner. Dromio, keep the gate. Better cheer may you have, but not with better Husband, I 'll dine above with you to-day,
heart. And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks. But soft! my door is lock’d. Go bid them let Sirrah, if any ask you for your master, Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter, Dro. E. Maud, B:idget, Marian, C'icely, Gillian, Come, sister. Dromio, play the porter well.