Plays and Poems

Pan. That's true; make no question of that. 'Two-and-fifty hairs,' quoth he, and one white: that white hair is my father, and all the rest are his sons.' 'Jupiter!' quoth she, which of these hairs is Paris my husband?' 'The forked one,' quoth he; 'pluck 't out, and give it him.' But there was such laughing, and Helen so blushed, and Paris so chafed, and all the rest so laughed, that it passed.

Cres. So let it now, for it has been a great while going by.

Pan. Well, cousin, I told you a thing yesterday; think on 't.

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devil come to him, it's all one: by God's lid, it does one's heart good. Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris.

PARIS passes over.

Look ye yonder, niece; is 't not a gallant man too, is 't not? Why, this is brave now. Who said he came hurt home to-day he's not hurt: why, this will do Helen's heart good now, ba! Would I could see Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon.

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HELENUS passes over.

TROILUS passes over.

Pan. Where? yonder? that 's Deiphobus. "Tis Troilus! there's a man, niece! Hem! Brave Troilus! the prince of chivalry! Cres. Peace! for shame, peace!

Pan. Mark him; note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon him, niece: look you how his sword is bloodied, and his helm more hacked

than Hector's; and how he looks, and how he goes. O admirable youth! he ne'er saw threeand-twenty. Go thy way, Troilus, go thy way! Had I a sister were a grace, or a daughter a goddess, he should take his choice. O admirable man! Paris? Paris is dirt to him; and, I warrant, Helen, to change, would give an eye to boot.

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Cres. Here come more.

Soldiers pass over.

Pan. Asses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran! porridge after meat! I could live and die i' the eyes of Troilus. Ne'er look, ne'er look; the eagles are gone: crows and daws, crows and daws! I had rather be such a man as Troilus than Agamemnon and all Greece. s

Cres. There is among the Greeks Achilles, a better man than Troilus.

Pan. Achilles! a drayman, a porter, a very camel.

Cres. Well, well.

Pan. 'Well, well!' Why, have you any discretion? have you any eyes? Do you know what a man is? Is not birth, beauty, good shape, discourse, manhood, learning, gentleness, virtue, youth, liberality, and so forth, the spice and salt that season a man?

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Cres. Ay, a minced man: and then to be baked with no date in the pie, for then the man's date's out.

Pan. You are such a woman! one knows not at what ward you lie.

Cres. Upon my back, to defend my belly; upon my wit, to defend my wiles; upon my secrecy, to defend mine honesty: my mask, to defend my beauty; and you, to defend all these:

and at all these wards I lie, at a thousand | To find persistive constancy in men: watches.

Pan. Say one of your watches.

Cres. Nay, I'll watch you for that; and that's one of the chiefest of them too: if I cannot ward what I would not have hit, I can watch you for telling how I took the blow; unless it swell past hiding, and then it's past watching. Pan. You are such another!

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Pan. Where?

Boy. At your own house; there he unarms him.

Enter TROILUS's Boy.

Nest. With due observance of thy god-like seat,

Boy. Sir, my lord would instantly speak with Great Agamemnon, Nestor shall apply
you.
Thy latest words. In the reproof of chance
Lies the true proof of men: the sea being smooth,
How many shallow bauble boats dare sail
Upon her patient breast, making their way
With those of nobler bulk!

But let the ruffian Boreas once enrage
The gentle Thetis, and anon behold
The strong-ribb'd bark through liquid mountains
cut,

Bounding between the two moist elements,
Like Perseus' horse: where's then the saucy boat
Whose weak untimber'd sides but even now
Co-rivall'd greatness? Either to harbour fled,
Or made a toast for Neptune. Even so
Doth valour's show and valour's worth divide
In storms of fortune; forin her ray and brightness
The herd hath more annoyance by the breeze
Than by the tiger; but when the splitting wind
Makes flexible the knees of knotted oaks,
And flies fled under shade, why then, the thing
of courage,

Pan. Good boy, tell him I come. Exit Boy. I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece. Cres. Adieu, uncle.

Pan. I'll be with you, niece, by and by.

Cres. To bring, uncle?

Pan. Ay, a token from Troilus.

Cres. By the same token, you are a bawd.
Exit PANDARUS.
Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love's full sacrifice,
He offers in another's enterprise ;
But more in Troilus thousand-fold I see
Than in the glass of Pandar's praise may be.
Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing:
Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing:
That she belov'd knows nought that knows not
this:

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Men prize the thing ungain'd more than it is:
That she was never yet that ever knew
Love got so sweet as when desire did sue.
Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:
Achievement is command; ungain'd, beseech:
Then though my heart's content firm love doth
bear,
Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear.
Exeunt.

SCENE III.-The Grecian Camp. Before
AGAMEMNON'S Tent.

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Sennet. Enter AGAMEMNON, NESTOR, ULYSSES,
MENELAUS, and Others.

Agamemnon,

Thou great commander, nerve and bone of Greece,
Heart of our numbers, soul and only spirit,
In whom the tempers and the minds of all
Should be shut up, hear what Ulysses speaks.
Besides the applause and approbation
The which, To AGAMEMNON most mighty for
thy place and sway,

To NESTOR. And thou most reverend for thy stretch'd-out life,

Agam. Princes,

What grief hath set the jaundice on your cheeks?
The ample proposition that hope makes
In all designs begun on earth below

I give to both your speeches, which were such
As Agamemnon and the hand of Greece
Should hold up high in brass; and such again
As venerable Nestor, hatch'd in silver,
Should with a bond of air, strong as the axletree
Fails in the promis'd largeness: checks and On which heaven rides, knit all the Greekish

disasters

ears

The fineness of which metal is not found
In fortune's love; for then the bold and coward
The wise and fool, the artist and unread,
The hard and soft, seem all affin'd and kin:
But, in the wind and tempest of her frown,
Distinction, with a broad and powerful fan,
Puffing at all, winnows the light away;
And what hath mass or matter, by itself
Lies rich virtue and unmingled.

Do you with cheeks abash'd behold our works,
And think them shames? which are indeed

nought else

But the protractive trials of great Jove

As rous'd with rage, with rage doth sympathize,
And with an accent tun'd in self-same key,
Retorts to chiding fortune.

Ulyss.

Grow in the veins of actions highest rear'd;
As knots, by the conflux of meeting sap,
Infect the sound pine and divert his grain
Tortive and errant from his course of growth.
Nor, princes, is it matter new to us
That we come short of our suppose so far
That after seven years' siege yet Troy walls stand;
Sith every action that hath gone before,
Whereof we have record, trial did draw
Bias and thwart, not answering the aim,
And that unbodied figure of the thought

That gave't surmised shape. Why then, you The specialty of rule hath been neglected:

princes,

And, look, how many Grecian tents do stand
Hollow upon this plain, so many hollow factions.
When that the general is not like the hive
To whom the foragers shall all repair,

What honey is expected? Degree being vizarded,

To his experienc'd tongue, yet let it please both,
Thou great, and wise, to hear Ulysses speak.

Agam. Speak, Prince of Ithaca; and be 't of
less expect

That matter needless, of importless burden,
Divide thy lips, than we are confident,
When rank Thersites opes his mastick jaws,
We shall hear music, wit, and oracle.

Ulyss. Troy, yet upon his basis, had been down, And the great Hector's sword had lack'da master, But for these instances.

Which is the ladder to all high designs,
The enterprise is sick. How could communities,
Degrees in schools, and brotherhoods in cities,
Peaceful commerce from dividable shores,
The primogenitive and due of birth,
Prerogative of age, crowns, sceptres, laurels,
But by degree, stand in authentic place?
Take but degree away, untune that string,
And, hark! what discord follows; each thing

meets

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In mere oppugnancy: the bounded waters
Should lift their bosoms higher than the shores,
And make a sop of all this solid globe:
Strength should be lord of imbecility,
And the rude son should strike his father dead:
Force should be right; or rather, right and
wrong,
Between whose endless jar justice resides,
Should lose their names, and so should justice too.
Then every thing includes itself in power,
Power into will, will into appetite;
And appetite, an universal wolf,
So doubly seconded with will and power,
Must make perforce an universal prey,
And last eat up himself. Great Agamemnon,
This chaos, when degree is suffocate,
Follows the choking.

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And this neglection of degree it is
That by a pace goes backward, in a purpose
It hath to climb. The general's disdain'd
By him one step below, he by the next,
That next by him beneath; so every step,
Exampled by the first pace that is sick
Of his superior, grows to an envious fever
Of pale and bloodless emulation :
And 'tis this fever that keeps Troy on foot,
Not her own sinews. To end a tale of length,
Troy in our weakness lives, not in her strength.
Nest. Most wisely hath Ulysses here discover'd
The fever whereof all our power is sick.

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Aam. The nature of the sickness found, Ulysses, What is the remedy? Ulyss. The great Achilles, whom opinion

Lies mocking our designs. With him Patroclus
Upon a lazy bed the livelong day
Breaks scurril jests,

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And then, forsooth, the faint defects of age
Must be the scene of mirth; to cough and spit,
And with a palsy-fumbling on his gorget,
Shake in and out the rivet; and at this sport
Sir Valour dies; cries 'O! enough, Patroclus,
Or give me ribs of steel; I shall split all
In pleasure of my spleen.' And in this fashion,
All our abilities, gifts, natures, shapes,
Severals and generals of grace exact,
Achievements, plots, orders, preventions,
Excitements to the field, or speech for truce,
Success or loss, what is or is not, serves
As stuff for these two to make paradoxes.

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Nest. And in the imitation of these twain,
Who, as Ulysses says, opinion crowns
With an imperial voice, many are infect.
Ajax is grown self-will'd, and bears his head
In such a rein, in full as proud a place

As broad Achilles; keeps his tent like him; 199
Makes factious feasts; rails on our state of war,
Bold as an oracle, and sets Thersites,

A slave whose gall coins slanders like a mint,
To match us in comparisons with dirt;
To weaken and discredit our exposure,
How rank soever rounded in with danger.

Ulyss. They tax our policy, and call it cowardice;

Count wisdom as no member of the war ;
Forestall prescience, and esteem no act
But that of hand: the still and mental parts,
That do contrive how many hands shall strike.
When fitness calls them on, and know by

crowns

The sinew and the forehand of our host,
Having his ear full of his airy fame,
Grows dainty of his worth, and in his tent

measure

Of their observant toil the enemies' weight,-
Why, this hath not a finger's dignity.
They call this bed-work, mappery, closet-war ;
So that the ram that batters down the wall,
For the great swing and rudeness of his poise,
They place before his hand that made the
engine,

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Or those that with the fineness of their souls If there be one among the fair'st of Greece By reason guide his execution.

That holds his honour higher than his ease, Nest. Let this be granted, and Achilles' horse That seeks his praise more than he fears his Makes many Thetis' sons.

A tucket. peril, Agam. What trumpet ? look, Menelaus. That knows his valour, and knows not his fear, Men. From Troy.

That loves his mistress more than in confession,

With truant vows to her own lips he loves, Enter NEAS.

And dare avow her beauty and her worth Agam. What would you 'fore our tent? In other arms than hers,—to him this challenge. Æne. Is this great Agamemnon's tent, I pray Hector, in view of Trojans and of Greeks, you?

Shall make it good, or do his best to do it, Agam. Even this.

He hath a lady, wiser, fairer, truer,
Æne. May one, that is a herald and a prince, Than ever Greek did compass in his arms
Do a fair message to his kingly ears?

And will to morrow with his trumpet call,
Agam. With surety stronger than Achilles' arm Midway between your tents and walls of Troy,
'Fore all theGreekish heads, which with one voice To rouse a Grecian that is true in love:
Call Agamemnon head and general.

221 If any come, Hector shall honour him ; Ene. Fair leave and large security. How may If none, he'll say in Troy when he retires, A stranger to those most imperial looks

The Grecian dames are sunburnt, and not worth Know them from eyes of other mortals ? The splinter of a lance. Even so much. Agam.

How ! Agam. This shall be told our lovers, Lord & ne. Ay;

Æneas; I ask, that I might waken reverence,

If none of them have soul in such a kind, And bid the cheek be ready with a blush We left them all at home: but we are soldiers; Modest as morning when she coldly eyes And may that soldier a mere recreant prove, The youthful Phoebus.

That means not, hath not, or is not in love! Which is that god in office, guiding men ? If then one is, or hath, or means to be, Which is the high and mighty Agamemnon ? That one meets Hector; if none else, I am he. Agam. This Trojan scorns us; or the men of Nest. Tell him of Nestor, one that was a man Troy

When Hector's grandsire suck'd: he is old now; Are ceremonious courtiers.

But if there be not in our Grecian host E ne. Courtiers as free, as debonair, unarm’d, One noble man that hath one spark of fire As bending angels; that's their fame in peace: To answer for his love, tell him from me But when they would seem soldiers, they have I'll hide my silver beard in a gold beaver, galls,

And in my vantbrace put this wither'd brawn ; Good arms, strong joints, true swords; and, And, meeting him, will tell him that my lady Jove's accord,

Was fairer than his grandam, and as chaste Nothing so full of heart. But peace, Æneas ! As may be in the world : his youth in flood, Peace, Trojan! lay thy finger on thy lips. I'll pawn this truth with my three drops of blood. The worthiness of praise distains his worth, 240 Ēne. Now heavens forbid such scarcity of If that the prais'd himself bring the praise forth; youth! But what the repining enemy commends,

Ulyss. Amen. That breath fame blows; that praise, sole pure, Agam. Fair Lord Æneas, let me touch your transcends.

hand ; Agam. Sir, you of Troy, call you yourself To our pavilion shall I lead you first. Æneas?

Achilles shall have word of this intent; Æne. Ay, Greek, that is my name.

So shall each lord of Greece, from tent to tent: Agam. What's your affair, I pray you? Yourself shall feast with us before you go, Æne. Sir, pardon ; 'tis for Agamemnon's ears. And find the welcome of a noble foe. Agam. He hears nought privately that comes

Exeunt all but ULYSSES anıl NESTOR. from Troy.

Ulyss. Nestor! Æne. Nor Í from Troy come not to whisper Nest. What says Ulysses ? him:

Ulyss. I have a young conception in my brain; I bring a trumpet to awake his ear,

Be you my time to bring it to some shape. To set his sense on the attentive bent,

Nest. What is 't ? And then to speak.

Ulyss. This 'tis : Agam.

Speak frankly as the wind : Blunt wedges rive hard knots: the seeded pride It is not Agamemnon's sleeping hour;

That hath to this maturity blown up That thou shalt know, Trojan, he is awake, In rank Achilles must or now be cropp'd, He tells thee so himself,

Or, shedding, breed a nursery of like evil, Æne.

Trumpet, blow loud, To overbulk us all. Send thy brass voice through all these lazy tents; Nest.

Well, and how ? And every Greek of mettle, let him know,

Ulyss. This challenge that the gallant Hector What Troy means fairly shall be spoke aloud. sends,

Trumpet sounds. However it is spread in general name, We have, great Agamemnon, here in Troy Relates in purpose only to Achilles. A prince call'd Hector, Priam is his father, Nest. The purpose is perspicuous even as subWho in this dull and long-continued truce

stance, Is rusty grown: he bade me take a trumpet, Whose grossness little characters sum up: And to this purpome speak: Kings, princes, lords! And, in the publication, make no strain,

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But that Achilles, were his brain as barren | To Agamemnon: go we to him straight. As banks of Libya, though, Apollo knows, Two curs shall tame each other: pride alone 'Tis dry enough, will, with great speed of judg. Must tarre the mastiff's on, as 'twere their bone. ment,

Exeunt. Ay, with celerity, find Hector's purpose Pointing on him. Ulyss. And wake him to the answer, think

ACT II. Nest. Yes, 'tis most meet : whom may you else

SCENE I. - A Part of the Grecian Camp. oppose,

Enter AJAX and THERSITES.
That can from Hector bring his honour off,
If not Achilles ? Though 't be a sportful combat, Ajax. Thersites!
Yet in the trial much opinion dwells;

Ther. Agamemnon, how if he had boils ? full,
For here the Trojans taste our dear'st repute all over, generally ?
With their fin'st palate: and trust to me, Ulysses, Ajax. Thersites!
Our imputation shall be oddly pois'd

Ther. And those boils did run? say so: did In this wild action ; for the success,

not the general run then ? were not that a Although particular, shall give a scantling 340 botchy core ! Of good or bad unto the general ;

Ajax. Dog! And in such indexes, although small pricks Ther. Then would come some matter from him : To their subsequent volumes, there is seen I see none now. The baby figure of the giant mass

Ajax. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not Of things to come at large. It is suppos'd hear ? Feel then.

Strikes him. He that meets Hector issues from our choice; Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou And choice, being mutual act of all our souls, mongrel beef-witted lord ! Makes merit her election, and doth boil,

A jar. Speak then, thou vinewedst leaven, As 'twere from forth us all, a man distill'd speak : I will beat thee into handsomeness. Out of our virtues; who miscarrying,

Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and What heart receives from hence the conquering holiness : but I think thy horse will sooner con part,

an oration than thou learn a prayer without book, To steel a strong opinion to themselves ? Thou canst strike, canst thou ? a red murrain o' Which entertain'd, limbs are his instruments, thy jade's tricks! In no less working than are swords and bows Ajax. Toadstool, learn me the proclamation, Directive by the limbs.

Ther. Dost thou think I have no sense, thou Ulyss. Give pardon to my speech :

strikest me thus ? Therefore 'tis meet Achilles meet not Hector. Ajax. The proclamation! Let us like merchants show our foulest wares, Ther. Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think. And think perchance they 'll sell; if not,

Ajax. Do not, porpentine, do not : my fingers The lustre of the better yet to show

360 itch. Shall show the better. Do not consent

Ther. I would thou didst itch from head to That ever Hector and Achilles meet ;

foot, and I had the scratching of thee; I would For both our honour and our shame in this make thee the loathsomest scabin Greece. When Are dogg'd with two strange followers.

thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikest as Nest. I see them not with my old eyes : what slow as anotber. are they?

Ajax. I say, the proclamation ! Ulyss. What glory our Achilles shares from Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hoor Hector,

on Achilles, and thou art as full of envy at his Were he not proud, we all should wear with greatness as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty, him :

ay, that thou barkest at him. But he already is too insolent;

Ajax. Mistress Thersites! And we were better parch in Afric sun

T'her. Thou should'st strike him.
Than in the pride and salt scorn of his eyes, 370 AjaxCobloaf!
Should he 'scape Hector fair : if he were foild, Ther. He would pun thee into shivers with his
Why then we did our main opinion crush fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit.
In taint of our best man. No; make a lottery ; Ajax. You whoreson cur ! Beating him.
And by device let blockish Ajax draw

Ther. Do, do.
The sort to fight with Hector : among ourselves Ajax. Thou stool for a witch !
Give him allowance as the worthier man,

Ther. Ay, do, do ; thou sodden-witted lord ! For that will physic the great Myrmidon thou hast no more brain than I have in mine Who broils in loud applause ; and make him fall elbows; an assinego may tutor thee, thou scurty, His crest that prouder than blue Iris bends. valiant ass! thou art here but to thrash Trojans; If the dull brainless Ajax come safe off, 380 and thou art bought and sold among those of We'll dress him up in voices : if he fail, any wit, like a barbarian slave. If thou use to Yet go we under our opinion still

beat me, I will begin at thy heel, and tell what That we have better men. But, hit or miss, thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou! Our project's life this shape of sense assumes : Ajax. You dog! Ajax employ'd plucks down Achilles' plumes. Ther. You scurvy lord! Nest. Ulysses,

Ajar. You cur!

Beating him, Now I begin to relish thy advice ;

Ther. Mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, And I will give a taste of it forthwith

camel ; do, do.

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