SCENE I.- Windsor. Before PAGE'S House. Shal. Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, and coram. Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-alorum. Sten. Ay, and rato-lorum too; and a gentleman born, Master parson; who writes himself armigero, in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, armigero. Shal. Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years. Slen. All his successors gone before him hath done't; and all his ancestors that come after him may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. Shal. It is an old coat. Evans. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love. 21 Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat. Slen. I may quarter, coz. Shal. You may, by marrying. Evans. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it. Evans. Yes, py 'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my penevolence to make atonements and compremises between you. Shal. The Council shall hear it; it is a riot. Evans. It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot. The Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that. 40 Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it. and end it; and there is also another device in Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman. 50 Evans. It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his death's-bed,-Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!-give, when she is able motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, to overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page. Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hun. dred pound? Evans. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. 61 has good gifts. Evans. Seven hundred pounds and possi. bilities is goot gifts. Shal. Well, let us see honest Master Page. liar as I do despise one that is false; or as I and Justice Shallow; and here young Master 81 Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you. Evans. It is spokeasa Christians ought to speak. Shal. He hath wronged me, Master Page. Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed: is not that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he hath; at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged. Page. Here comes Sir John. 111 Pist. He hears with ears. Evans. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He hears with ear'? Why, it is affectations. Fal. Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else, of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. Fal. Is this true, Pistol? Evans. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and master mine, I combat challenge of this latten bilbo: Nym. Be avised, sir, and pass good humours. I will say 'marry trap' with you, if you run the nut-hook's humour on me that is the very note Enter Sir JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, gether an ass. and PISTOL. Ful. Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king? Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge. Fal. But not kissed your keeper's daughter? Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answered. Fal. I will answer it straight: I have done all this. That is now answered. 120 Shal. The Council shall know this. Fal. 'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel: you'll be laughed at. Evans. Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts. Fal. Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your head: what matter have you against me? Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket. Bard. You Banbury cheese! Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Pist. How now, Mephostophilus! Slen. Ay, it is no matter. 139 Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! that's my humour. Slen. Where's Simple, my man? can you tell, cousin? 140 Evans. Peace! I pray you. Now let us understand: there is three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. 180 Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John? Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Evans. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is! Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and so conclusions passed the careires. Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter. I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. 192 Evans. So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it. Enter ANNE PAGE, with wine; Mistress FORD and Mistress PAGE following. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. Exit ANNE PAGE. 200 Slen. O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page. Page. How now, Mistress Ford! Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress. Kissing her. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness. Exeunt all but SHALLOW, SLENDER, and EVANS. Slen. I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of Songs and Sonnets here. Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable : if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Slen. So I do, sir. Evans. Give ear to his motions, Master Slender. I will description the matter to you, if you pe capacity of it. Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says. Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come. Slen. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank I I pray you pardon me; he's a justice of peace bruised my shin the other day with playing at in country, simple though I stand here. Evans. But that is not the question; the question is concerning your marriage. 231 Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. Evans. Marry, is it, the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page. Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands. Evans. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth: therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid? Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Sten. I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do reason. Evans. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her. Shal. That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? 250 Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid? sword and dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town? 302 talked of. Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them You Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England. are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not ? Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. Slen. That's meat and drink to me, now: I have seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women, indeed, cannot th abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough things. Re-enter PAGE, Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. but if there be no great love in the beginning, Anne. Not I, sir; pray you, keep on. ance, when we are married and have more yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaint- will not do you that wrong. Slen. Truly, I will not go first truly, la! I occasion to know one another: I hope, upon Anne. I pray you, sir. familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than trouble say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. some. You do yourself wrong, indeed, la! Exeunt. Evans. It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in the ort 'dissolutely': the ort is, according to our meaning, 'resolutely.' His meaning is good. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la! Re-enter ANNE PAGE. 270 Shal. Here comes fair Mistress Anne. Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne! Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company. Evans. Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your Shal. I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne. | master's desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray you, be gone: I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come. Exeunt. SCENE III. -A Room in the Garter Inn. Fal. Mine host of the Garter! scholarly and wisely. Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers. Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot. Pal. I sit at ten pounds a week. Host. I have spoke; let him follow. TO BARD. Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; follow. Exit. Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well, out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? Fal. Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her husband's purse; he hath a legion of angels. Pist. As many devils entertain, and 'To her, boy,' say I. me good eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious œilliades: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. Nym. I thank thee for that humour. Fal. O! she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass. Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford. We will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, 80 And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer takeall! Nym. I will run no base humour: here, take the humour-letter. I will keep the haviour of reputation. Fal. To ROBIN. Hold, sirrah, bear you these Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores. Pist. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. By welkin and her star! Pist. With wit or steel? Nym. With both the humours, I: 100 His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous: that is my true humour. Pist. Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second thee; troop on. Exeunt. 111 SCENE IV. A Room in Doctor CAIUS'S House. Quick. What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith, and find anybody in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for 't soon at night, i' faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. Exit RUGBY. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate: his worst fault Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her; and is, that he is given to prayer; he is something here another to Page's wife, who even now gave | peevish that way, but nobody but has his fault; Nym. The humour rises; it is good humour me the angels. 61 45 Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her toQuick. Peace, I pray you. 80 Quick. And Master Slender's your master? Sim. Ay, forsooth. Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife? 21 Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard, a Cain-coloured beard. Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? Sim. Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and his head: he hath fought with a warrener. Quick. How say you? O! I should remember him: does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait ? Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. 31 Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert, a box, a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box. Quick. Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you. Aside. I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found the young man he would have been horn-mad. 51 Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais à la cour, la grande affaire. Quick. Is it this, sir? Caius. Ouy; mettez le au mon pocket; dépêchez, quickly. Vere is dat knave Rugby? Quick. What, John Rugby! John! Rug. Here, sir. Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. 61 Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublié ? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. Quick. Ay me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad. Caius. O diable! diable! vat is in my closet? Pulling SIMPLE out. Villain! larron! Rugby, my rapier! Quick. Good master, be content. Caius. Verefore shall I be content-a? 70 Quick. The young man is an honest man. Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. Quick. I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic; hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh, Caius. Peace-a your tongue! Speak-a your tale. Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been throughly moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master, -I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself, Sim. "Tis a great charge to come under one body's hand. 101 Quick. Are you avised o' that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding, to tell you in your ear, I would have no words of it, my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, that's neither here nor there. Caius. You jack'nape, give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat in de Park; and I vill teach a scurvy jacka-nape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here: by gar, I vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. Exit SIMPLE, Quick. Alas! he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a vor dat: do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jartiere to measure our weapon. By gar, I vill myself have Anne Page. Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer! for it. |