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Oli. 'Twas I; but 'tis not I. I do not shame To tell you what I was, since my conversion So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am.
Ros. But, for the bloody napkin ? Oli. By and by. When from the first to last, betwixt us two, 140 Tears our recountments had most kindly bath'd, As how I came into that desert place :In brief, he led me to the gentle duke, Who gave me fresh array and entertainment, Committing me unto my brother's love; Who led me instantly unto his cave, There stripp'd himself; and here, upon his arm, The lioness had torn some flesh away, Which all this while had bled; and now he fainted,
And cried, in fainting, upon Rosalind.
He sent me hither, stranger as I am,
To tell this story, that you might excuse
Oli. Many will swoon when they do look on blood.
Cel. There is more in it. Cousin Ganymede! Oli. Look, he recovers.
Ros. I would I were at home. Cel. We'll lead you thither. I pray you, will you take him by the arm? Oli. Be of good cheer, youth. You a man! You lack a man's heart.
Ros. I do so, I confess it. Ah, sirrah! a body would think this was well counterfeited. I pray you, tell your brother how well I counterfeited. Heigh-ho! Oli. This was not counterfeit there is too great testimony in your complexion that it was a passion of earnest.
Ros. Counterfeit, I assure you.
Oli. Well then, take a good heart and counterfeit to be a man.
Ros. So I do; but, i' faith, I should have been a woman by right.
Cel. Come; you look paler and paler: pray you, draw homewards. Good sir, go with us.
Oli. That will I, for I must bear answer back How you excuse my brother, Rosalind.
Ros. I shall devise something. But, I pray you, commend my counterfeiting to him. Will you go? Exeunt.
Will. Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
Touch. Why, thou sayest well. I do now remember a saying, 'The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.' The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do love this maid?
Will. I do, sir.
Touch. He, sir, that must marry this woman. / They are in the very wrath of love, and they will Therefore, you clown, abandon--which is in the together : clubs cannot part them. vulgar, leave-the society,-which in the boorish Orl. They shall be married to-morrow, and I is, company,- of this female, --which in the will bid the duke to the nuptial. But, O! how common is, woman; which together is, abandon bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through the society of this female, or, clown, thou another man's eyes. By so much the more shall perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; I to-morrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate by how much I shall think my brother happy in thy life unto death, thy liberty into bondage. having what he wishes for. I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, Ros. Why then, to morrow I cannot serve your or in steel ; I will bandy with thee in faction; turn for Rosalind ? I will o'er-run thee with policy; I will kill thee Orl. I can live no longer by thinking. a hundred and fifty ways: therefore tremble, Ros. I will weary you then no longer with and depart.
64 idle talking. Know of me then, for now I speak Aud. Do, good William.
to some purpose, that I know you are a gentleWill. God rest you merry, sir.
Exit. man of good conceit. I speak not this that you
should bear a good opinion of my knowledge, Enter CORIN.
insomuch I say I know you are ; neither do I Cor. Our master and mistress seek you: come, labour for a greater esteem than may in some away, away!
little measure draw a belief from you, to do Touch. Trip, Audrey ! trip, Audrey! I attend, yourself good, and not to grace me. Believe then, I attend.
you please, that I can do strange things. I have, since I was three year old, conversed with
a magician, most profound in his art and yet SCENE II. - Another Part of the Forest.
not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near Enter ORLANDO and OLIVER.
the heart as your gesture cries it out, when your
brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her. I Orl. Is 't possible that on so little acquaintance know into what straits of fortune she is driven ; you should like her? that but seeing, you should and it is not impossible to me, if it appear not love her? and loving, woo? and wooing, she inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes should grant? and will you persever to enjoy her? | to-morrow, human as she is, and without any
Oli. Neither call the giddiness of it in ques- danger. tion, the poverty of her, the small acquaintance, Orl. Speakest thou in sober meanings ? my sudden wooing, nor her sudden consenting ; Ros. By my life, I do ; which I tender dearly, but say with me, I love Aliena ; say with her, though I say I am a magician. Therefore, put that she loves me ; consent with both, that we you in your best array ; bid your friends ; for if may enjoy each other: it shall be to your good; you will be married to-morrow, you shall; and for my father's house and all the revenue that to Rosalind, if you will. Look, here comes a was old Sir Rowland's will I estate upon you, lover of mine, and a lover of hers. and here live and die a shepherd. Ort. You have my consent. Let your wedding
Enter Silvius and PHEBE. be to-morrow: thither will I invite the duke and
Phe. Youth, you have done me much ungenall's contented followers. Go you and prepare tleness, Aliena; for look you, here comes my Rosalind. To show the letter that I writ to you. Enter ROSALIND.
Ros. I care not if I have : it is my study
To seem despiteful and ungentle to you. Ros. God save you, brother.
You are there follow'd by a faithful shepherd : Oli. And you, fair sister.
Exit. Look upon him. love him ; he worships you. Ros. O! my dear Orlando, how it grieves me Phe. Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf,
to love. Orl. It is my arm.
Sil. It is to be all made of sighs and tears; Ros. I thought thy heart had been wounded And so am I for Phebe. with the claws of a lion.
Phe. And I for Ganymede. Orl. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady. Orl. And I for Rosalind.
Ros. Did your brother tell you how I counter- Ros. And I for no woman. feited to swoon when he showed me your hand- Sil. It is to be all made of faith and service ; kercher ?
And so am I for Phebe. Orl. Ay, and greater wonders than that.
Phe. And I for Ganymede. Ros. O! I know where you are. Nay, 'tis Orl. And I for Rosalind. true : there was never any thing so sudden but Ros. And I for po woman. the fight of two rams, and Cæsar's thrasonical Sil. It is to be all made of fantasy, brag of 'I came, saw, and overcame': for your All made of passion, and all made of wishes ; brother and my sister no sooner met but they All adoration, duty, and observance ; looked ; no sooner looked but they loved ; no All humbleness, all patience, and impatience ; sooner loved but they sighed ; no sooner sighed All purity, all trial, all obeisance; but they asked one another the reason; no sooner And so am I for Phebe. knew the reason but they sought the remedy : Phe. And so am I for Ganymede. and in these degrees have they made a pair of Orl. And so am I for Rosalind. stairs to marriage which they will climb incon- Ros. And so am I for no woman. tinent, or else be incontinent before marriage. Phe. If this beso, why blame you me to love you!
Sil. If this be so, why blame you me to love you? Touch. Truly, young gentlemen, though there Orl. If this be so, why blame you me to love was no great matter in the ditty, yet the note you?
was very untuneable. Ros. Who do you speak to, Why blame you First Page. You are deceived, sir: we kept me to love you ?'
110 time; we lost not our time. Orl. To her that is not here, nor doth not hear. Touch. By my troth, yes ; I count it but time
Ros. Pray you, no more of this : 'tis like the lost to hear such a foolish song. God be wi' howling of Irish wolves against the moon. To you; and God mend your voices! Come, Audrey. SILVIUS. I will help you, if I can : To PHEBE. I
Exeunt. would love you, if I could. To-morrow meet me all together. To PHEBE. I will marry you,
SCENE IV.-Another Part of the Forest. if ever I marry woman, and I'll be married to
Enter DUKE Senior, AMIENS, JAQUES, ORmorrow : To ORLANDO. I will satisfy you, if ever
LANDO, OLIVER, and CELIA. I satisfied man, and you shall be married to. morrow: TO SILVIUS. I will content you, if
Duke S. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the what pleases you contents you, and you shall be
boy married to-morrow. To ORLANDO. "As you love can do all this that he hath promised ? Rosalind, meet : To SILVIUS. As you love Phebe,
Orl. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes meet: and as I love no woman, I'll meet. So fare you well: I have left you commands.
As those that fear they hope, and know they fear. Sil. I'll not fail, if I live.
Enter ROSALIND, SILVIUS, and PHEBE. Phe. Nor I.
Ros. Patience once more, whiles our compact Orl. Nor I.
You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, SCENE III.- Another Part of the Porest.
You will bestow her on Orlando here!
Duke S. That would I, had I kingdoms to Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY.
give with her. Touch. To-morrow is the joyful day, Audrey ; Ros. And you say you will have her, when I to-morrow will we be married.
bring her ? Aud. I do desire it with all my heart, and I Orl. That would I, were I of all kingdoms king. hope it is no dishonest desire to desire to be a Ros. You say you 'll marry me, if I be willing? woman of the world. Here come two of the Phe. That will i, should I die the hour after. banished duke's pages.
Ros. But if you do refuse to marry me,
You'll give yourself tothis most faithfulshepherd?
Phe. So is the bargain. First Page. Well met, honest gentleman. Ros. You say, that you 'll have Phebe, if she
Touch. By my troth, well met. Come, sit, sit, will ? and a song:
Si. Though to have her and death were both Second Page. We are for you: siti' the middle. one thing.
First Page. Shall we clap into't roundly, with- Ros. I have promised to make all this matter out hawking or spitting, or saying we are hoarse, even. which are the only prologues to a bad voice ? Keep you your word, O duke, to give your
Second Page. I' faith, i' faith; and both in a daughter; tune, like two gipsies on a horse.
You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter; » It was a lover and his lass,
Keep you your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me, With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd; That o'er the green corn-field did pass,
Keep your word, Silvius, that you 'll marry her, In the spring time, the only pretty ring time,
If she refuse me: and from hence I go,
To make these doubts all even.
Esceunt ROSALIND and CELIA.
Duke S. I do remember in this shepherd boy Between the acres of the rye,
Some lively touches of my daughter's favour. With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
Orl. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him, These pretty country folks would lie,
Methought he was a brother to your daughter; In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born, When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding ; And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments Sweet lovers love the spring.
Of many desperate studies by his uncle, This carol they began that hour,
Whom he reports to be a great magician, With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
Obscured in the circle of this forest,
Enter ToucHSTONE and AUDREY.
Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and Sweet lovers love the spring.
these couples are coming to the ark. Here comes
a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues And therefore take the present time,
are called fools. With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino, Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all! Por love is crowned with the prime
Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome. This In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding ; often met in the forest : he hath been a courtier, Sweet lovers love the spring.
39 he swears.
Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one.
Jaq. And how was that ta'en up?
Touch. Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause.
Jaq. How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow.
Duke S. I like him very well.
Touch. God 'ild you, sir; I desire you of the like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear and to forswear, according as marriage binds and blood breaks. A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own: a poor humour of mine, sir, to take that that no man else will. Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house, as your pearl in your foul oyster.
Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.
Touch. According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases.
Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause?
Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed:-bear your body more seeming, Audrey :-as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard: he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is called the retort courteous.' If I sent him word again it was not well cut, he would send me word he cut it to please himself: this is called the ' 'quip modest.' If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment: this is called the 'reply churlish.' If again, it was not well cut. he would answer, I spake not true: this is called the reproof valiant.' If again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lie: this is called the 'countercheck quarrelsome': and so to the 'lie circumstantial,' and the 'lie direct.'
Jaq. And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut?
Touch. I durst go no further than the 'lie circumstantial,' nor he durst not give me the 'lie direct'; and so we measured swords and parted.
Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie?
Touch. O sir, we quarrel in print; by the book, as you have books for good manners: I will name you the degrees. The first, the 'retort courteous'; the second, the 'quip modest'; the third, the 'reply churlish'; the fourth, the 'reproof valiant'; the fifth, the 'countercheck quarrelsome'; the sixth, the 'lie with circumstance'; the seventh, the 'lie direct.' All these you may avoid but the 'lie direct'; and you may avoid that too, with an 'if.' I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an 'if,' as if you said so, then I said so': and they shook hands and swore brothers. Your 'if' is the only peacemaker; much virtue in 'if.' 110
Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at any thing, and yet a fool. Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-horse,
and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit.
Enter HYMEN, leading ROSALIND in woman's
Hym. Then is there mirth in heaven,
Good duke, receive thy daughter;
That thou might'st join her hand with his,
Ros. To DUKE S. To you I give myself, for I am yours.
To ORLANDO. To you I give myself, for I am
Duke S. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
Phe. If sight and shape be true,
Why then, my love adieu!
Ros. To DUKE S. I'll have no father, if you be not he:
ORLANDO. I'll have no husband, if you be
To PHEBE. Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not
Shall share the good of our returned fortune,
To TOUCHSTONE. And you to wrangling; for thy loving voyage
Is but for two months victuall'd. pleasures:
The duke hath put on a religious life,
Jaq. To him will I out of these convertites There is much matter to be heard and learn'd. To DUKE S. You to your former honour I bequeath;
Your patience and your virtue well deserve it : To ORLANDO. You to a love that your true faith doth merit:
To OLIVER. You to your land, and love, and great allies:
To SILVIUS. You to a long and well-deserved bed:
So, to your
I am for other than for dancing measures.
Jaq. To see no pastime, I: what you would have I'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave. Exit. Duke S. Proceed, proceed: we will begin these rites,
As we do trust they'll end, in true delights.
SPOKEN BY ROSALIND.
It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue ; but it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord the prologue. If it be true that good wine needs no bush, 'tis true that a good play needs no epilogue; yet to good wine they do use good bushes, and good plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues. What a case am I in then, that am neither a good epilogue, nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalf of a good play! I am not furnished like a beggar, therefore to beg will not become me my way is to conjure you; and I'll begin with the women. I charge you, O women! for the love you bear to men, to like as much of this play as please you: and I charge you, O men! for the love you bear to women, as I perceive by your simpering none of you hates them, that between you and the women the play may please. If I were a woman I would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions that liked me, and breaths that I defied not; and I am sure, as many as have good beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make court'sy, bid me farewell.