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THE TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA
DRAMATIS PERSON Æ. DUKE OF MILAN, Futher to Silvia.
LAUNCE, the like to Proteus. VALENTINE, the tico Gentlemen.
PANTHINO, Servant to Antonio. PROTEUS,
Host, where Julia lodges. ANTONIO, Father to Proteus.
Outlaws, with Valentine. THURIO, a foolish Riral to Valentine.
JULIA, beloved of Protcus. EGLAMOUR, Agent for Silria in her escape.
SILVIA, beloved of Valentine. SPEED, a clownish Serrant to Valentine.
LUCETTA, Waiting-woman to Julia.
Pro. So, by your circumstance, you call me fool. SCENE 1.- Verona : an open Place.
Val. So, by your circumstance, I fear you 'll
prove. Enter VALENTINE and PROTEUS.
Pro. "Tis love you cavil at: I am not Love.
The eating canker dwells, so eating love
Val. And writers say, as the most forward bud
And all the fair effects of future hopes. Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee Some rare note-worthy object in thy travel : That art a votary to fond desire ? Wish me partaker in thy happiness
Once more adieu! My father at the road When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd. danger,
Pro. And thither will I bring thee, Valentine. If ever danger do environ thee,
Val. Sweet Proteus, no ; now let us take our Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers,
leave. For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine.
To Milan let me hear from thee by letters Val. And on a love-book pray for my success ? Of thy success in love, and what news else Pro. Upon some book I love I'll pray for thee. Betideth here in absence of thy friend ;
l'al. That's on some shallow story of deep love, And I likewise will visit thee with mine. How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont. Pro. All happiness bechance to thee in Milan!
Pro. That's a deep story of a deeper lore, Val. As much to you at home! and so, farewell. For he was more than over shoes in love.
Erit. Val. "Tis true ; for you are over boots in love, Pro. He after honour hunts, I after love: And yet you never swum the Hellespont. He leaves his friends to dignify them more ; Pro. Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots. I leave myself, my friends and all, for love. l'al. No, I will not, for it boots thee not. Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphos'd me; Pro.
What ? Made me neglect my studies, lose my time, Val. To be in love, where scorn is bonght with War with good counsel, set the worli at nought, groans ;
Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with Coy looks with heart-sore sighs; one fading thought. moment's mirth
Speed. Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my If lost, why then a grievous labour won:
master? However, but a folly bought with wit,
Pro. But now he parted hence to embark for Or else a wit by folly vanquished.
Speed. Twenty to one then he is shipp'dalready, Pro. Why? Could'st thou perceive so much And I have play'd the sheep in losing him. from her ?
Pro. Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray, Speed. Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from An if the shepherd be a while away.
her; no, not so much as a ducat for delivering Speed. You conclude that my master is a
And being so hard to me that shepherd then and I a sheep?
brought your mind, I fear she'll prove as hard Pro. I do.
to you in telling your mind. Give her no token Speed. Why then my horns are his horns, but stones, for she's as hard as steel. whether I wake or sleep.
Pro. What! said she nothing? Pro. A silly answer and fitting well a sheep. Speed. No, not so muc as .Take this for thy Speed. This proves me still a sheep.
pains.' To testify your bounty, I thank you, Pro. True, and thy master a shepherd. you have testerned me; in requital whereof, Speed. Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance. henceforth carry your letters yourself. And so, Pro. It shallgo hard but I'll proveit by another. sir, I 'll commend you to my master.
Speed. The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not Pro. Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from the sheep the shepherd ; but I seek my master, wreck, and my master seeks not me: therefore I am no Which cannot perish, having thee aboard, sheep.
89 Being destin'd to a drier death on shore. Pro. The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd,
Exit SPEED. the shepherd for food follows not the sheep; thou I must go send some better messenger : for wages followest thy master, thy master for I fear my Julia would not deign my lines, wages follows not thee: therefore thou arta sheep. Receiving them from such a worthless post. Speed. Such another proof will make me cry
Erit. baa.' Pro. But dost thou hear? gavest thou my letter
SCENE II.-The Same. JULIA's Garden. to Julia ? Speed. Ay, sir : I, a lost mutton, gave your
Enter JULIA and LUCETTA. letter to her, a laced mutton; and she, a laced Jul. But say, Lucetta, now we are alone, mutton, gave me, a lost mutton, nothing for my Would'st thou then counsel me to fall in love? labour.
Luc. Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedPro. Here's too small a pasture for such store fully. of muttons.
Jul. Of all the fair resort of gentlemen Speed. If the ground be overcharged, you were That every day with parle encounter me, best stick her.
In thy opinion which is worthiest love ? Pro. Nay, in that you are astray: 'twere best Luc. Please you repeat their names, I'll show pound you.
Speed. Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve According to my shallow simple skill. me for carrying your letter.
Jul. What think'st thou of the fair Sir Pro. You mistake : I mean the pound,--a Eglamour ? pinfold.
Luc. As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine Speed. From a pound to a pin? fold it over and But, were I you, he never should be mine. over,
Jul. What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio ? 'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to Luc. Well of his wealth; but of himself, so so.
Jul. What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus ? Pro. But what said she?
SPEED nods. Luc. Lord, Lord! to see what folly reigns in us! Did she nod ?
Jul. How now! what means this passion at Speed. Ay.
his name? Pro. Nod, Ay? hy, that's noddy.
Luc. Pardon, dear madam: 'tis a passing shame Speed. You mistook, sir: I say she did nod ; | That I, unworthy body as I am, and you ask me if she did nod; and I say, Ay. Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen. Pro. And that set together is noddy.
Jul. Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest ? Speed. Now you have taken the pains to set it Luc. Then thus, -of many good I think him together, take it for your pains.
best. Pro. No, no ; you shall have it for bearing the Jul. Your reason ? letter.
Luc. I have no other but a woman's reason : Speed. Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear | I think him so because I think him so.
Jul. And would'st thou have me cast my love Pro. Why, sir, how do you bear with me?
on him? Speed. Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly ; hav. Luc. Ay, if you thought your love not cast away. ing nothing but the word 'noddy' for my pains. Jul. Why, he of all the rest hath never mov'd Pro. Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit.
Speed. And yet it cannot overtake your slow Luc. Yet he of all the rest, I think, best loves ye. purse.
Jul. His littlespeaking shows his love but small. Pro. Come, come ; open the matter in brief : Luc. Fire that's closest kept burns most of all. what said she ?
Jul. They do not love that do not show their Speed. Open your purse, that the money and love. the matter may be both at once delivered.
Luc. 0! they love least that let men know Pro. Well, sir, here is for your pains. What their love. said she ?
Jul. I would I knew his mind. Speed. Truly, sir, I think you 'll hardly win her.
Peruse this paper, madam.
Jul. “To Julia.' Say, from whom ?
No, madam ; it is too sharp.
That the contents will show. Jul. You, minion, are too saucy. Jul. Say, say, who gave it thee ?
Nay, now you are too flat Luc. Sir Valentine's page; and sent, I think, And mar the concord with too harsh a descant: from Proteus.
There wanteth but a mean to fill your song. He would have given it you, but I, being in the Jul. The mean is drown'd with your unruly bass. way,
Luc. Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus. Did in your name receive it: pardon the fault, Jul. This babble shall not henceforth trouble
Jul. Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker! Here is a coil with protestation! Tears the letter. Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines ? 40 Go get you gone, and let the papers lie: To whisper and conspire against my youth ? You would be fingering them, to anger me. Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth Luc. She makes it strange, but she would be And you an officer fit for the place.
best pleas'd There, take the paper : see it be return'd; To be so anger'd with another letter. Exit. Or else return no more into my sight.
Jul. Nay, would I were so anger'd with the Luc. To plead for love deserves more fee than same! bate.
O hateful hands, to tear such loving words ! Jul. Will ye be gone ?
Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey Luc.
That you may ruminate. Exit. And kill the bees that yield it with your stings ! Jul. And yet I would I had o'erlook'd the letter. I'll kiss each several paper for amends. It were a shame to call her back again
Look, here is writ 'kind Julia.' Unkind Julia! And pray her to a fault for which I chid her. 50 As in revenge of thy ingratitude, What fool is she, that knows I am a maid, I throw thy name against the bruising stones, And would not force the letter to my view! Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain. Since maids, in modesty, say 'No' to that And here is writ .love-wounded Proteus.' Which they would have the proffererconstrue 'Ay.' Poor wounded name ! my bosom as a bed Fie, fie ! how wayward is this foolish love Shall lodge thee till thy wound be throughly That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse heal'd; And presently all humbled kiss the rod. And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss. How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
But twice or thrice was .Proteus' written down: When willingly I would have had her here: Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away How angerly I taught my brow to frown, GO Till I have found each letter in the letter, When inward joy enforc'd my heart to smile. Except mineown name; that some whirlwind bear My penance is, to call Lucetta back
Unto a ragged, fearful-hanging rock, And ask remission for my folly past.
And throw it thence into the raging sea! What ho! Lucetta!
Lo! here in one line is his name twice writ,
• Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus, Re-enter LUCETTA.
To the sweet Julia': that I'll tear away ; Luc.
What would your ladyship? And yet I will not, sith so prettily Jud. Is it near dinner-time?
He couples it to his complaining names. Luc.
I would it were ; Thus will I fold them one upon another: That you might kill your stomach on your meat Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will. And not upon your maid. Jul. What is 't that you took up so gingerly?
Re-enter LUCETTA. Lue. Nothing
Luc. Madam, Jul. Why didst thou stoop then ?
Dinner is ready, and your father stays. Luc.
To take a paper up
Jul. Well, let us go. That I let fall.
Luc. What! shall these papers lie like tellJul.
And is that paper nothing? 71 tales here? Luc. Nothing concerning me.
Jul. If you respect them, best to take them up. Jul. Then let it lie for those that it concerns. Luc. Nay, I was taken up for laying them down;
Luc. Madam, it will not lie where it concerns, Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold. Unless it have a false interpreter.
Jul. I see you have a month's mind to them. Jul. Some love of yours hath writ to you in rime. Luc. Ay, madam, you may say what sights Luc. That I might sing it, madam, to a tune : you see ; Give me a note: your ladyship can set.
I see things too, although you judge I wink. Jul. As little by such toys as may be possible : Jul. Come, come; will 't please you go? Best sing it to the tune of Light o' love.'
E:reuni. Luc. It is too heavy for so light a tune. Jul. Heavy! bolike it hath some burt hen then? SCENE III.-- The Same. A Room in ANTONIO'S Luc. Ay; and melodious were it, would you
House. sing it. Jul. And why not you ?
Enter ANTONIO and PANTHINO. Luc.
I cannot reach so high. Ant. Tell me, Panthino, what sad talk was that Jul. Let's see your song. How now, minion! Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister? Luc. Keep tune there still, so you will sing Pant. 'Twas of his nephew Proteus, your son. it out :
Ant. Why, what of him ? And yet methinks I do not like this tune.
Pant. He wonder'd that your lordship Jui. You do not?
Would suffer him to spend his youth at home,
With Valentinus in the emperor's court:
10 Excuse it not, for I am peremptory.
Pro. My lord, I cannot be so soon provided:
Ant. Look, what thou want'st shall be sent
No more of stay; to-morrow thou must go.
While other men, of slender reputation,
He said that Proteus your son was meet,
Ant. Nor need'st thou much importune me to
Whereon this month I have been hammering.
Ant. I know it well.
Pant. 'Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither.
There shall he practise tilts and tournaments, 30
Ant. I like thy counsel; well hast thou advis'd:
I will dispatch him to the emperor's court.
With other gentlemen of good esteem
Ant. Good company; with them shall Proteus go:
And in good time. Now will we break with him.
Exeunt ANTONIO and PANTHINO. Pro. Thus have I shunned the fire for fear of burning,
And drench'd me in the sea, where I am drown'd.
The uncertain glory of an April day,
Speed. She that your worship loves?
Val. Why, how know you that I am in love? Speed. Marry, by these special marks. First, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms, like a malecontent; to relish a lovesong, like a robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam ; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you
looked sadly, it was for want of money : and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my
Val. Are all these things perceived in me? Speed. They are all perceived without ye. Val. Without me? they cannot.
Speed. Without you? nay, that's certain; for, without you were so simple, none else would : but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you and shine through you like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.
Val. But, tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia? Speed. She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper
Val. Hast thou observed that? even she I mean. Speed. Why, sir, I know her not.
Val. Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet knowest her not?
Speed. Is she not hard-favoured, sir? Val. Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured. Speed. Sir, I know that well enough. Val. What dost thou know? Speed. That she is not so fair, as, of you, wellfavoured.
Val. I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.
Speed. That's because the one is painted and the other out of all count.
Speed. Because Love is blind. O! that you had mine eyes; or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered.
Val. What should I see then?
Val. How painted? and how out of count? Speed. Marry, sir, so painted to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
Val. How esteemest thou me? I account of Nay, take them. her beauty.
Speed. You never saw her since she was deformed.
Val. How long hath she been deformed?
Val. I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see her beautiful.
Speed. If you love her you cannot see her.
Speed. Your own present folly and her passing deformity; for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
Val. Belike, boy, then you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes. Speed. True, sir; I was in love with my bed. I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
Val. In conclusion, I stand affected to her. Speed. I would you were set, so your affection would cease.
Val. Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
Val. Madam and mistress, a thousand good
Speed. Aside. O! give ye good even: here's a million of manners.
Sil. Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
Speed. Aside. He should give her interest, and she gives it him.
Val. As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter Unto the secret nameless friend of yours; Which I was much unwilling to proceed in But for my duty to your ladyship. Sil. I thank you, gentle servant. "Tis very clerkly done.
Val. Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off; For being ignorant to whom it goes I writ at random, very doubtfully.
Sil. Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
Val. No, madam: so it stead you, I will write, Please you command, a thousand times as much. And yet
Sil. A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel; And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not; And yet take this again; and yet I thank you, Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more. Speed. Aside. And yet you will; and yet another yet. Val. What means your ladyship? do you not like it?
Sil. Yes, yes the lines are very quaintly writ, But since unwillingly, take them again.
Val. Madam, they are for you.
Sil. Ay, ay; you writ them, sir, at my request, But I will none of them; they are for you. I would have had them writ more movingly. Val. Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
Sil. And when it's writ, for my sake read it
And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
Val. If it please me, madam, what then? Sil. Why, if it please you, take it for your labour:
And so good morrow, servant.
Speed. O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible, As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor,
He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
write the letter?
Val. How now, sir! what are you reasoning with yourself?
Speed. Nay, I was riming: 'tis you that have
Val. To do what?
Speed. To be a spokesman from Madam Silvia.
Val. To whom?
Speed. To yourself. Why, she woos you by a figure.
Val. What figure?
Speed. By a letter, I should say.
Val. Why, she hath not writ to me?
Speed. What need she, when she hath made