To go with us into the abbey here, 400 Duke. With all my heart I'll gossip at this feast. Exeunt DUKE, Abbess, ÆGEON, Courtezan, Merchant, ANGELO, and Attendants, Dro. S. Master, shall I fetch your stuff from shipboard? Ant. E. Dromio, what stuff of mine hast thou embark'd? 410 And this fair gentlewoman, her sister here, Dro. S. Your goods that lay at host, sir, in the Centaur. MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING. DRAMATIS PERSON Æ. DON PEDRO, Prince of Arragon. BORACHIO, Followers of Don John. ACT I. DOGBERRY, a Constable. VERGES, a Headborough. FRIAR FRANCIS. A Sexton A Boy. HERO, Daughter to Leonato. BEATRICE, Niece to Leonato. MARGARET, URSULA, Messengers, Watch, Attendants. SCENE.-Messina. SCENE I. Before LEONATO'S House. } Gentlewomen attending on Hero. 38 Mess. Ol he's returned, and as pleasant as ever he was. Beat. He set up his bills here in Messina and Enter LEONATO, HERO, BEATRICE, and others, challenged Cupid at the flight; and my uncle's Mess. I know none of that name, lady: there was none such in the army of any sort. Leon. What is he that you ask for, niece? fool, reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? for indeed I promised to eat all of his killing. Leon. Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much; but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not. Mess. He hath done good service, lady, in these wars. 50 Beat. You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he is a very valiant trencher-man; he hath an excellent stomach. Mess. And a good soldier too, lady. Beat. And a good soldier to a lady; but what is he to a lord? Mess. A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all honourable virtues. Beat. It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man; but for the stuffing, well, we are all mortal. 61 Leon. You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her: they never meet but there's a skirmish of wit between them. Beat. Alas! he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one; so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother. Mess. Is't possible ? 74 Hero. My cousin means Signior Benedick of but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes Padua, Beat. Very easily possible: he wears his faith with the next block. Mess. I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books. 80 Beat. No; an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil? Mess. He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio. Beat: O Lord! he will hang upon him like a Mess. I will hold friends with you, lady. Leon. You will never run mad, niece. Beat. No, not till a hot January. Mess. Don Pedro is approached. Enter Don PEDRO, Don JOHN, CLAUDIO, 92 Leon. Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child. D. Pedro. You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself. Be happy, lady, for you are like an honourable father. Bene. If Signior Leonato be her father, she Beat. I wonder that you will still be talking, 121 Bene. What! my dear Lady Disdain, are you set living? Beat. Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence. Bene. Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted; and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none. 131 Beat. A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me. Bene. God keep your ladyship still in that mind; so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratched face. Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours were. 141 Bene. Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. Beat. A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours. Bene. I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer. But keep your way, i' God's name; I have done. Beat. You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old. 149 D. Pedro. This is the sum of all, Leonato: Signior Claudio, and Signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at the least a month, and he heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer: I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart. Leon. If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn. To Don JOHN. Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty. 160 D. John. I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank you. Leon. Please it your grace lead on? D. Pedro. Your hand, Leonato; we will go together. Excunt all but BENEDICK and CLAUDIO. Claud. Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato? 169 Bene. I noted her not; but I looked on her. Claud. Is she not a modest young lady? Bene. Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex? Claud. No; I pray thee speak in soberjudgment. Bene. Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise: only this commendation I can afford her, that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome, and being no other but as she is, I do not like her. 18) Claud. Thou thinkest I am in sport: I pray thee tell me truly how thou likest her. Bene. Would you buy her, that you inquire after her? Claud. Can the world buy such a jewel? Bene. Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad brow, or do you play the flouting Jack, to tell us Cupid is a good harefinder, and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take you, to go in the song! Claud. In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on. 192 Bene. I can see yet without spectacles and I see no such matter: there's her cousin, an she were not possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn husband, have you? Claud. I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. Bene. Is't come to this, i' faith? Hath not the world one man but he will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall I never see a bachelor of threescore again? Go to, i' faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sigh away Sundays. Look! Don Pedro is returned to seek you. 1 Bene. You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man; I would have you think so; but on my allegiance, mark you this, on my allegiance: he is in love. With who? now that is your grace's part. Mark how short his answer is: with Hero, Leonato's short daughter. Claud. If this were so, so were it uttered. Bene. Like the old tale, my lord: 'it is not so, nor 'twas not so; but, indeed, God forbid it should be so.' 222 Bene. That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none; and the fine is, for the which I may go the finer, I will live a bachelor. D. Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love. 252 Bene. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord; not with love: prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a balladmaker's pen, and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of blind Cupid. D. Pedro. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument. Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapped on the shoulder, and called Adam. D. Pedro. Well, as time shall try: 264 'In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.' Bene. The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my forehead; and let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as they write 'Here is good horse to hire,' let them signify under my sign 'Here you may see Benedick the married man.' 272 Claud. If this should ever happen, thou would'st be horn-mad. D. Pedro. Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly. Bene. I look for an earthquake too then. D. Pedro. Well, you will temporise with the hours. In the meantime, good Signior Benedick, repair to Leonato's: commend me to him and tell him I will not fail him at supper; for indeed he hath made great preparation. 282 Bene. I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and so I commit youClaud. To the tuition of God: from my house, if I had it, D. Pedro. The sixth of July: your loving friend, Benedick. Bene. Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere you flout old ends any further, examine your conscience: and so I leave you. Exit. 293 When you went onward on this ended action, $10 D. Pedro. Thou wilt be like a lover presently, And tire the hearer with a book of words. If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it, And I will break with her, and with her father, And thou shalt have her. Was 't not to this end That thou began'st to twist so fine a story? Claud. How sweetly do you minister to love, That know love's grief by his complexion! But lest my liking might too sudden scem, I would have salv'd it with a longer treatise, 30 D. Pedro. What need the bridge much broader than the flood? The fairest grant is the necessity. And I will fit thee with the remedy. 530 Excunt. Leon. No, no; we will hold it as a dream till it appear itself: but I will acquaint my daughter withal, that she may be the better prepared for an answer, if peradventure this be true. Go you, and tell her of it. Several persons cross the stage. Cousins, you know what you have to do. O! I cry you mercy, friend; go you with me, and I will use your skill. Good cousin, have a care this busy time. Exeunt. Con. Yea; but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest. 27 D. John. I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. 39 Con. Can you make no use of your discontent? D. John. I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here? [ACT II. who? which way looks he? D. John. A proper squire! And who, and of Leonato. Bora. Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir D. John. A very forward March-chick! How came you to this? 59 was smoking a musty room, comes me the prince Bora. Being entertained for a perfumer, as I and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras, and there heard it agreed upon that the prince should woo Hero to Count Claudio. for himself, and having obtained her, give her D. John. Come, come; let us thither: this may prove food to my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow: if way. You are both sure, and will assist me? 71 I can cross him any way, I bless myself every Con. To the death, my lord, D. John. Let us to the great supper: their the cook were of my mind! Shall we go prove cheer is the greater that I am subdued. Would what's to be done? Bora. We'll wait upon your lordship. ACT II. Exeunt. SCENE I.-A Hall in LEONATO'S House. Enter LEONATO, ΑΝΤΟΝΙΟ, HERO, BEATRICE, and others. Leon. Was not Count John here at supper? Ant. I saw him not. Beat. How tartly that gentleman looks! I hour after. never can see him but I am heart-burned an Ilcro. He is of a very melancholy disposition. just in the midway between him and Benedick: Beat. Hewerean excellent man that were made the one is too like an image, and says nothing; evermore tattling. and the other too like my lady's eldest son, 11 Count John's mouth, and half Count John's Leon. Then half Signior Benedick's tongue in melancholy in Signior Benedick's face. and money enough in his purse, such a man Beat. With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, would win any woman in the world, if a' could get her good will. 21 thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue. cow too curst he sends none. Leon. So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns ? Beat. Just, if he send me no husband; for the |