Page images




Dro. S. Within. Mome, malt-horse, capon, cox- Dro. E. They stand at the door, master : bid comb, idiot, patch!

them welcome hither. Either get thee from the door or sit down at Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that the hatch.

we cannot get in. Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st Dro. E. You would say so, master, if your for such store,

garments were thin. When one is one too many ? Go get thee from Your cake here is warm within ; you stand here the door.

in the cold : Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My | It would make a man mad as a buck to be so master stays in the street.

bought and sold. Dro. S. Within. Let him walk from whence Ant. E. Go fetch me something: I'll break he came, lest he catch cold on's feet.

ope the gate. Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho! open Dro. S. Within. Break any breaking here, the door.

and I'll break your knave's pate. Dro. S. Within. Right sir: I'll tell you when, Dro. E. A man may break a word with you, an you 'll tell me wherefore,

sir, and words are but wind; Ant. E. Wherefore ? for my dinner: I have Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not din'd to-day.

not behind. Dro. S. Within. Nor to-day here you must Dio. S. IT'ithin. It seems thou wantest breaknot; come again when you may.

ing : Out upon thee, hind! Ant. k. What art thou that keep'st me out Dro. E. Here's too much 'out upon thee!' from the house I owe?

I pray thee, let me in. Dro. S. Within. The porter for this time, sir, Dro. s. Within. Ay, when fowls have no and my name is Dromio.

feathers, and fish have no fin. Dro. E. O villain! thou hast stolen both mine Ant. E. Well, I'll break in. Go borrow me office and my name :

a crow. The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle Dro. E. A crow without feather ? master, blame.

mean you so ? If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place, For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a a feather : name, or thy name for an ass.

If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow Luce. Within. What a coil is there, Dromio! together. who are those at the gate ?

Ant. E. Go get thee gone: fetch me an iron Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce.

crow. Luce. Within. Faith, no; he comes too late ; Bal. Have patience, sir ; 0! let it not be so; And so tell your master.

Herein you war against your reputation, Dro. E.

O Lord ! I must laugh. And draw within the compass of suspect Haveat you with a proverb: Shall I set in my staff ? | The unviolated honour of your wife. Luce. Within. Have at you with another : Once this,--your long experience of her wisdom, that's-When ? can you tell ?

52 Her sober virtue, years, and modesty, Dro. S. Within. If thy name be called Luce,-- Plead on her part some cause to you unknown ; Luce, thou hast answer'd him well.

And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion ? you 'll let Why at this time the doors are made against you. us in, I hope ?

Be rul’d by me: depart in patience, Luce. Within. I thought to have ask'd you. And let us to the Tiger all to dinner ; Dio. S. Within.

And you said, no. And about evening come yourself alone, Dro. E. So; come, help: well struck! there To know the reason of this strange restraint. was blow for blow.

If by strong hand you offer to break in Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.

Now in the stirring passage of the day, Luce. Within, Can you tell for whose sake? A vulgar comment will be made of it, Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard.

And that supposed by the common rout Luce. Within. Let him knock till it ache. Against your yet ungalled estimation, Ant. E. You 'll cry for this, minion, if I beat That may with foul intrusion enter in the door down.

And dwell upon your grave when you are dead; Luce. Within. What needs all that, and a pair For slander lives upon succession, of stocks in the town !

60 For ever housed where it gets possession. Adr. Within. Who is that at the door that Ant. E. You have prevail'd: I will depart in keeps all this noise ?

quiet, Dro. S. Within. By my troth, your town is And, in despite of mirth, mean to be merry. troubled with unruly boys.

I know a wench of excellent discourse, Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have Pretty and witty, wild and yet, too, gentle : 110 come before.

There will we dine: this woman that I mean, Adr. Within. Your wife, sir knave! go get you My wife,--but, I protest, without desert,from the door.

Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal : Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this To her will we to dinner. To ANGELO. Get knave' would go sore.

you home Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome: And fetch the chain; by this I know 'tis made ; we would fain have either,

Bring it, I pray you, to the Porpentine ; Bal. In debating which was best, we shall For there's the house: that chain will I bestow, part with neither,

Be it for nothing but to spite my wife,



[ocr errors]






l'pon mine hostess there. Good sir, make haste. He gains by death that hath such means to die: Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me, 120 Let Love, being light, be drowned if she sink. I'll knock elsewhere, to see if they 'll disdain me. Luc. What! are you mad, that you do reason so ? Ang. I'll meet you at that place some hour Ant. S. Not mad, but mated; how, I do not hence.

know, Ant. E. Do so. This jest shall cost me some Luc. It is a fault that springeth from your eye. expense.

Exeunt. Ant. S. For gazing on your beams, fair sun,

being by. SCENE II.--The Same.

Luc. Gaze where you should, and that will Enter LUCIANA and ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse.

clear your sight.

Ant. S. As good to wink, sweet love, as look Luc. And may it be that you have quite forgot on night. A husband's office ? Shall, Antipholus,

Luc. Why call you me love ? caH my sister so. Even in the spring of love. thy love-springs rot ? Ant. S. Thy sister's sister. Shall love, in building, grow so ruinous ? Luc.

That's my sister. If you did wed my sister for her wealth,

Ant. s. Then for her wealth's sake use her with more It thyself, mine own self's better part; kindness :

Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer Or, if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth ;

heart; Muffle your false love with some show of My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's aim, blindness ;

My sole eari h's heaven, and my heaven's claim. Let not my sister read it in your eve;

Luc. All this my sister is, or else should be. Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator ; 10 Ant. S. Call thyself sister, sweet, for I aim thee, Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty ; Thee will I love and with thee lead my life: Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger ;

Thou hast no husband yet nor I no wife. Dear a fair presence, though your heart be Give me thy hand. tainted :


O! soft, sir ; hold you stiil : Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint ; I'll fetch my sister, to get her good will. De secret-false : what need she be acquainted ?

Erit. What simple thief brags of his own attaint ?

Enter DROMIO of Syracuse hastily. "Tis double wrong, to truant with your bed,

And let her read it in thy looks at board : Ant. S. Why, how now, Dromio! whererunnest Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed ; thou so fast ?

Ill deeds are doubled with an evil word. Dro. S. Do you know me, sir ? am I Dromio ? Alas! poor women, make us but believe,

am I your man? am I myself? Being compact of credit, that you love us ; Ant. S. Thou Dromio, thou art my man, Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve ; thou art thyself. We in your motion turn, and you may move Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man and

besides myself. Then, gentle brother, get you in again ;

Ant. S. What woman's man? and how besides (omfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife: thyself? 'Tis holy sport to be a little vain,

Dro. S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due When the sweet breath of flattery conquers to a woman ; one that claims ine, one that strife.

haunts me, one that will have me. Anl, S. Sweet mistress, - what your name is Ant, S. What claim lays she to thee? else, I know not,

Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim as you would Nor by what wonder you do hit of mine, - 30 | lay to your horse ; and she would have me as a Less in your knowledge and your grace you beast : not that, I being a beast, she would have show not

me; but that she, being a very beastly crcature, Than our earth's wonder ; more than carth lays claim to me. divine.

Ant. S. What is she ? Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak: Dro. S. A very reverend body; ay, such a one

Lay open to my earthy-gross conceit, as a man may not speak of without he say .sirSmother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak, reverence.' I have but lean luck in the match,

The folded meaning of your words' deceit. and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage. Against my soul's pure truth why labour you Ant. S. How dost thou mean a fat marriage ?

To make it wander in an unknown field ? Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, Are you a god ? would you create me new ? and all grease ; and I know not what use to put Transform me then, and to your power I'll her to but to make a lamp of her and run from yield.

40 her by her own light. I warrant her rags and But if that I am I, then well I know

the tallow in them will burn a Poland winter : Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week Nor to her bed no homage do I owe:

longer than the whole world. Far more, far more, to you do I decline. Ant. S. What complexion is she of? 0! train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note, Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face

To drown me in thy sister flood of tears : nothing like so clean kept : for why, she sweats; Sing, siren, for thyself

, and I will dote : a man may go over shoes in the grime of it. Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs, Ant. S. That's a fault that water will mend. And as a bed I'll take them and there lie ; Dro. S. No, sir, 'tis in grain ; Noah's flood

And in that glorious supposition think BU could not do it.




102 110

[ocr errors]

it for you.

you have.



tell ;




Ant. S. What's her name?

Ant. S. What is your will that I shall do with
Dro. S. Nell, sir; but her name and three this?
quarters, that's an ell and thrce quarters, will Ang. What please yourself, sir: I have made
not measure her from hip to hip.
Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth ?

Ant. S. Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not.
Dro. S. No longer from head to foot than Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times
from hip to hip : she is spherical, like a globe ;
I could find out countries in her.

Go home with it and please your wife withal;
Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ire- And soon at suppertime I'll visit you,
land ?

And then receive my money for the chain. Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks : I found Ant. S. I pray you, sir, receive the money now, it out by the bogs.

For fear you ne'er see chain nor money more. Ant. Š. Where Scotland ?

Ang. You are a merry man, sir : fare you well. Dro. S. I found it by the barrenness ; hard in

Exit. the palm of the hand.

Ant. $. What I should think of this, I cannot Ant. $. Where France ?

Dro. S. In her forehead ; armed and reverted, But this I think, there's no man is so vain making war against her heir.

That would refuse so fair an offer'd chain. Ant. S. Where England ?

I see a man here needs not live by shifts, Dro. S. I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I When in the streets he meets such golden gifts. could find no whiteness in them : but I guess it I'll to the mart and there for Dromio stay : stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran If any ship put out, then straight away. Exit. between France and it. Ant. S. Where Spain ?

Dro. S. Faith, I saw not; but I felt it hot in
her breath.

SCENE I.-A public Place.
Ant. S. Where America, the Indies ?
Dro. S. O, sir! upon her nose, all o'er embel-

Enter a Merchant, ANGELO, and an Officer.
lished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declin- Mer. You know since Pentecost the sum is due,
ing their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain, And since I have not much importun'd you ;
who sent whole armadoes of caracks to be Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
ballast at her nose.

To Persia, and want guilders for my voyage : Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands? Therefore make present satisfaction,

Dro. S. O, sir! I did not look so low. To Or I'll attach you by this officer. conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to Ang. Even just the sum that I do owe to you me; called me Dromio ; swore I was assured to Is growing to me by Antipholus ; her ; told me what privy marks I had about me, And in the instant that I met with you as the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my He had of me a chain : at five o'clock neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, I sball receive the money for the same. amazed, ran from her as a witch.

Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house, And, I think, if my breast had not been made I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.

of faith and my heart of steel, She had transform'd me to a curtal dog and

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and DROMIÓ of made me turn i' the wheel.

Ant. S. Go hie thee presently post to the road : 01. That labour may you save : see where he
An if the wind blow any way from shore,
I will not barbour in this town to-night :

Ant. E. While I go to the goldsmith's house,
If any bark put forth, come to the mart,
Where I will walk till thou return to me. And buy a rope's end, that will I bestow
If every one knows us and we know none, Among my wife and her confederates,
"Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone. For locking me out of my doors by day.

Dro. S. As from a bear a man would run for life, But soft! I see the goldsmith. Get thee gone ;
So fly I from her that would be my wife. Exit. Buy thou a rope and bring it home to me.
Ant. $. There's none but witches do inhabit Dro. E, I buy a thousand pound a year: I

buy a rope !

And therefore 'tis high time that I were hence. Ant. E. A man is well holp up that trusts to
She that doth call me husband, even my soul

Doth for a wife abhor; but her fair sister, I promised your presence and the chain;
Possess'd with such a gentle sovereign grace, But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me.
Of such enchanting presence and discourse, Belike you thought our love would last too long,
Hath almost made me traitor to myself :

If it were chain'd together, and therefore came
But, lest myself be guilty to self-wrong,

not. I'll stop mine ears against the mermaid's song. Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the

note Enter ANGELO.

How much your chain weighs to theutmost carat, Ang. Master Antipholus !

The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion,
Ant, S. Ay, that's my name.

Which doth amount to three odd ducats more
Ang. I know it well, sir : lo, here is the chain. Than I stand debted to this gentleman :
I thought to have ta'cn you at the Porpentine; I pray you see him presently discharg'd,
The chain unfinish'd made me stay thus long.

For he is bound to sea and stays but for it.




go thou



[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]




chain :

[ocr errors]


Ant. E. I am not furnish'd with the present | I have convey'd aboard, and I have bought money;

The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vitæ. Besides, I have some business in the town. The ship is in her trim ; the merry wind Good signior, take the stranger to my house, Blows fair from land; they stay for nought at all And with you take the chain, and bid my wife But for their owner, master, and yourself. Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof :

Ant. E. How now! a madman! Why, thou Perchance I will be there as soon as you.

peevish sheep, Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her what ship of Epidamnum stays for me? yourself?

Dro. S. A you sent me to, to hire waftage. Ant. E. No; bear it with you, lest I come not Ant. E. Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a time enough.

rope ; Ang. Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain | And told thee to what purpose and what end. about you?

Dro. S. You sent me for a rope's end as soon : Ant. E. An if I have not, sir, I hope you have, You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark., Or else you may return without your money. Ant. E. I will debate this matter at moreleisure, Ang. Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the And teach your ears to list me with more beed.

To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight ; Both wind and tide stay for this gentleman, Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk And I, to blame, have held him here too long. That's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry, An. E. Good Lord! you use this dalliance to There is a purse of ducats : let her send it. excuse

Tell her I am arrested in the street, Your breach of promise to the Porpentine, And that shall bail me. Hie thee, slave, be gone! I should have chid you for not bringing it, 50 On, officer, to prison till it come. But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl.

Exeunt Merchant, ANGELO, Officer, and Mer. The hour steals on; I pray you, sir,

ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus. dispatch.

Dro. S. To Adriana! that is where we din'd, Ang. You hear how he importunes me: the Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband: chain!

She is too big, I hope, for me to compass. Ant. E. Why, give it to my wife and fetch Thither I must, although against my will, your money.

For servants must their masters' minds fulfil. Ang. Come, come; you know I gave it you

Exit. even now. Either send the chain or send me by some token. SCENE II.-The House of ANTIPHOLUS of Ant. E. Fie! now you run this humour out of

Ephesus. breath, Come, where's the chain? I pray you let me see it.

Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA. Mer. My business cannot brook this dalliance. Adr. Ah! Luciana, did he tempt thee so? Good sir, say whe'r you 'll answer me or no ; Mightst thou perceive austerely in his eye If not, I 'll leave bim to the officer,

That he did plead in earnest ? yea or no? Ant. E. I answer you! what should I answer Look'd he or red or pale? or sad or merrily ?

What observation mad'st thou in this case Ang. The money that you owe me for the chain. Of his heart's meteors tilting in his face? Ant. E. I owe you none till I receive the chain. Luc. First he denied you had in him no right. Ang. You know I gave it you half an hour since. Adr. He meant he did me none; the more my Ant. E. You gave me none : you wrong me spite. much to say so.

Luc. Then swore he that he was a stranger here. Ang. You wrong me more, sir, in denying it : Adr. And true he swore, though yet forsworn Consider how it stands upon my credit.

he were. Mer. Well, officer, arrest him at my suit. Lc. Then pleaded I for you. Of. I do ;


And what said he ? And charge you in the duke's name to obey me. Luc. That love I begg'd for you he begg’d of me. Ang. This touches me in reputation.

Adr. With what persuasion did he tempt thy Either consent to pay this sum for me,

love ? Or I attach you by this officer.

Luc. With words that in an honest suit might Ant. ¥. Consent to pay thee that I never had ! Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar’st. First he did praise my beauty, then my speech.

Ang. Here is thy fee : arrest him, officer : Adr. Didst speak him fair! I would not spare my brother in this case,


Have patience, I beseech. If he should scorn me so apparently.

Adr. I cannot, nor I will not hold me still : 01. I do arrest you, sir : you hear the suit. 8o My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his

Ant. E. I do obey thee till I give thee bail. will. Bat, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere, As all the metal in your shop will answer. Il-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere; 23

Ang. Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus, Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind, To your notorious shame, I doubt it not. Stigmatical in making, worse in mind. Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.

Luc. Who would be jealous then of such a one?

No evil lost is wail'd when it is gone. Dro. S. Master, there is a bark of Epidamnum Adr. Ah! but I think him better than I say, That stays but till her owner comes aboard, And yet would herein others' eyes were worse. And then, sir, she bears away. Ourfraughtage, sir, | Far from her nest the lapwing cries away:



[ocr errors]




My heart prays for him, though my tongue do | And every one doth call me by my name. Some tender money to me; some invite me; Some other give me thanks for kindnesses; Some offer me commodities to buy ;

Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.

Dro. S. Here, go: the desk! the purse! sweet Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop
now, make haste.
And show'd me silks that he had bought for me,
And, therewithal, took measure of my body.
Sure these are but imaginary wiles,
And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.

Luc. How hast thou lost thy breath?
Dro. S.
By running fast. 30
Adr. Where is thy master, Dromio? is he well?
Dro. S. No, he's in Tartar limbo, worse than

A devil in an everlasting garment hath him,
One whose hard heart is button'd up with steel;
A fiend, a fury, pitiless and rough;
A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff;
A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that

The passages of alleys, creeks and narrow lands: A hound that runs counter and yet draws dryfoot well;

One that, before the judgment, carries poor| souls to hell.


Adr. Why, man, what is the matter?
Dro. S. I do not know the matter: he is
'rested on the case.

Adr. What, is he arrested? tell me at whose suit. Dro. S. I know not at whose suit he is arrested well;

But is in a suit of buff which 'rested him, that can I tell.

Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in his desk?

Adr. Go fetch it, sister.

Adr. As if Time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason!

Dro. S. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he's worth to season. Nay, he's a thief too: have you not heard men say, That Time comes stealing on by night and day? If Time be in debt and theft, and a sergeant in the way,


Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day?
Re-enter LUCIANA.

Adr. Go, Dromio: there's the money, bear it straight,

Exit LUCIANA. This I wonder at, That he, unknown to me, should be in debt: Tell me, was he arrested on a band?

Dro. S. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing; A chain, a chain. Do you not hear it ring? 51 Adr. What, the chain?

Dro. S. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the bark Expedition put forth tonight; and then were you hindered by the sergeant to tarry for the hoy Delay. Here are the angels that you sent for to deliver you. Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am I ;

Dro. S. No, no, the bell: 'tis time that I were gone: It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one. Adr. The hours come back! that did I never And here we wander in illusions: hear. Some blessed power deliver us from hence!


Dro. S. O yes; if any hour meet a sergeant, a' turns back for very fear.

And bring thy master home immediately. Come, sister; I am press'd down with conceit; Conceit, my comfort and my injury.


SCENE III-A public Place.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse.

Ant. S. There's not a man I meet but doth salute me

As if I were their well-acquainted friend;


[blocks in formation]

Dro. S. No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went, like a bass-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a morris-pike.

Ant. S. What, thou meanest an officer?

Dro. S. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he that brings any man to answer it that breaks his band; one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says 'God give you good rest!'

Ant. S. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be gone?

Enter a Courtezan.

Cour. Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.
I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now:
Is that the chain you promis'd me to-day?
Ant. S. Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt
me not!

[blocks in formation]


Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam, and here she comes in the habit of a light wench and thereof comes that the wenches say 'God damn me'; that's as much as to say 'God make me a light wench.' It is written, they appear to men like angels of light light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.

Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir. Will you go with me? we'll mend our dinner here.


Dro. S. Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon.

Ant. S. Why, Dromio?

Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.

« PreviousContinue »