which way have you looked for master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Physic?

Sim. Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, 'the park-ward, every way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.

Eva. I most fehemently desire you, you will also look that way.

Sim. I will, sir.

Eva. Pless my soul! how full of cholers I am, and trempling of mind!-I shall be glad if he have deceived me:-how melancholies I am! I will knog his urinals about his knave's costard, when I have good opportunities for the 'ork-pless my soul! [Sings.

To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals;
There will we make our peds of roses,
And a thousand fragrant posies.

To shallow

'Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.
Melodious birds sing madrigals;
When as I sat in Pabylon,-

And a thousand vagram posies.

To shallow

Sim. Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh.
Eva. He's welcome:

To shallow rivers, to whose falls

Caius. Diable!- Jack Rugby, -mine Host de
Farterre, have I not stay for him, to kill him? have
I not, at de place I did appoint?

Eva. As I am a christians soul, now, look you, this
is the place appointed; I'll be judgment by mine
host of the Garter.

Host. Peace, I say; Guallia and Gaul; French and
Welch; soul-curer and body-curer.

Caius. Ay, dat is very good! excellent!
Host. Peace, I say, hear mine host of the Garter.
Am I politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall
I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions, and
the motions. Shall I lose my parson? my priest?
my sir Hugh? no: he gives me the proverbs and the
no-verbs.[Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so:
Give me thy hand, celestial; so.-Boys of art, I
have deceived you both: I have directed you to
wrong places; your hearts are mighty, your skins
are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue,-Come,
lay their swords to pawn:-Follow me, lads of
peace; follow, follow, follow.

Shal. Trust me, a mad host:-Follow, gentlemen,
Slen. O, sweet Anne Page!
[follow.

[Exeunt Shallow, Slender, Page, and Host. Caius. Ha! do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of us? ha, ha!

Eva. This is well; he has made us his vloutingHeaven prosper the right!-What weapons is he?stog.-I desire you that we may be friends; and let Sim. No weapons, sir: There comes my master, us knog our prains together, to be revenge on this master Shallow, and another gentleman from Frog-same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of more, over the stile, this way.

the Garter.

Eva. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it, Caius. By gar, vit all my heart; he promise to in your arms. bring me vere is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles:-Pray you, follow. [Exeunt.

Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. Shal. How now, master parson? Good-morrow, good sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonSlen. Ah, sweet Anne Page! [derful. Page. Save you, good sir Hugh!

Eva. Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! Shal. What! the sword and the word! do you study them both, master parson?

Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day?

too.

SCENE II.-The Street in Windsor.

Enter Mistress Page and Robin.

Mrs. Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader: Whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your

master's heels?

Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.

Mrs. Page. O you are a flattering boy; now, I see,

Eva. There is reasons and causes for it.
Page. We are come to you to do a good office, you 'll be a courtier.
master parson.

Eva. Fery well: What is it?

Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who belike, having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience,

that ever you saw.

I

Shal. I have lived fourscore years and upward; never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.

Eva. What is he?

Page. I think you know him; master doctor Caius, the renowned French Physician.

Eva. Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge. Page. Why?

Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen,-and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave, as you would desires to be acquainted withal. Page. I warrant you, he's the man should fight

with him.

Slen. O, sweet Anne Page!

Mrs. Page. By your leave, sir:-I am sick, till I see her. [Exeunt Mrs. Page and Robin. Ford. Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? Shal. It appears so, by his weapons:-Keep them hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no asunder;-here comes doctor Caius.

Enter Host, Caius, and Rugby. Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your Shal. So do you, good master doctor. [weapon. Host. Disarm them, and let them question; let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English. Cains. I pray you let-a me speak a word vit your ear; Verefore vill you not meet-a me?

use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty miles, as easy as a cannon will shoot pointblank twelve score. He pieces out his wife's inclination; he gives her folly motion and advantage: and now she 's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the wind!-and Falstaff's boy with her!-Good plots!they are laid; and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming mistress Page, divulge Page himself Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to for a secure and wilful Acteon; and to these violent other men's humours; I desire you in friendship, proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim. [Clock and I will one way or other make you amends:-Istrikes.] The clock gives me my cue, and my aswill knog your urinal about your knave's cogscomb surance bids me search; There I shall find Falstaff: [for missing your meetings and appointments]. I shall be rather praised for this than mocked; for

Eva. Pray you, use your patience: in good time.
Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog,
John ape.

it is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee there: I will go.

Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh
Evans, Caius, and Rugby.

Shal., Page, &c. Well met, master Ford,
Ford. Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer
at home; and, I pray you all go with me.
Shal. I must excuse myself, master Ford.
Slen. And so must I, sir; we have appointed to
dite with mistress Anne, and I would not break
with her for more money than I 'll speak of.
Shal. We have lingered about a match between
Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we
shall have our answer.

Slen. I hope I have your good will, father Page.
Page. You have, master Slender; I stand wholly
for you:-but my wife, master doctor, is for you
akogether.

Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.

Hest. What say you to young master Fenton? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May: he will carry 't, he will carry 't; 't is in his buttons; he will carry 't.

a new doublet and hose. I'll go hide me.
Mrs. Ford. Do so:-Go tell thy master, I am alone.
Mistress Page, remember you your cue. [Exit Rob.
Mrs. Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss
[Exit Mrs. Page.

me.

Mrs. Ford. Go to then; we 'll use this unwholesome humidity, this gross watery pumpion. We'll teach him to know turtles from jays. Enter Falstaff.

a

Fal. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel? Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough; this is the period of my ambition. O this blessed hour! Mrs. Ford. O sweet sir John! Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would thy husband were dead. I'll speak it before the best lord, I would make thee my lady. Mrs. Ford. I your lady, sir John! alas, I should be pitiful lady. Fal. Let the court of France show me such another. I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond: Thou hast the right arched beauty of the brow, that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian admittance. Mrs. Ford. A plain kerchief, sir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither. Fal. Thou art a tyrant to say so: thou would'st make an absolute courtier; and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait, if Fortune thy foe were not; Nature thy friend: Come, thou canst not hide it.

Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having; he kept company with the wild Prince and Poins; he is of too high a repion, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance: f he take her, let him take her simply; the wealth in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes

Lot that way.

Ford. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster.-Master doctor, you shall go;-so shall you, master Page;-I and you, sir Hugh.

Shal. Well, fare you well :-we shall have the freer wooing at master Page's. [Exeunt Shal, and Slen. • Cans. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. [Exit Rugby. Hest, Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest kight Falstaff, and drink canary with him. [Exit. Fard. Aside. I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first with him; I will make him dance. Will you go, All. Have with you, to see this monster. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-A Room in Ford's House. Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page.

gentles?

Mrs. Ford. What, John! What, Robert!

[me. Mrs. Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing in Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee there's something extraordinary in thee. Come, cannot cog, and say thou art this and that, like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury in simple-time: I cannot: but I love thee; none but thee; and thou deservest it. Mrs. Ford. Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love mistress Page.

reek of a lime-kiln.

Fal. Thou might'st as well say I love to walk by the Counter-gate; which is as hateful to me as the Mrs. Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one day find it.

Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind.

Rob. [Within.] Mistress Ford, mistress Ford! here 's mistress Page at the door, sweating, and

Mrs. Page. Quickly, quickly. Is the buck-basket-blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak Mrs. Ford. I warrant:-What, Robin, I say.

Enter Servants, with a basket.

[be brief.

Mrs. Page. Come, come, come.
Mrs. Ford. Here, set it down.
Mr. Page. Give your men the charge; we must
Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John, and
Robert, be ready here hard by in the brew-house;
and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and
thout any pause or staggering), take this basket
your shoulders: that done, trudge with it in all
aste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet
ad, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, close
by the Thames side.

Ars. Page. You will do it?

Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they
Ack no direction: Be gone, and come when you are
Ted.
[Exeunt Servants.
Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin.
Enter Robin.

Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket? what news

My master, sir John, is come in at your backter, mistress Ford; and requests your company. Mrs. Page. You little Jack-a-lent, have you been te to us?

with you presently.

Fal. She shall not see me; I will ensconce me behind the arras.

Mrs. Ford. Pray you, do so: she's a very tattling woman. [Falstaff hides himself. What's the matter? how now? Enter Mistress Page and Robin.

for ever.

Mrs. Page. O mistress Ford, what have you done? You 're shamed, you 're overthrown, you 're undone [Page? Mrs. Ford. What 's the matter, good mistress Mrs. Page. O well-a-day, mistress Ford! having an honest man to your husband, to give him such Mrs. Ford, What cause of suspicion? cause of suspicion!

Mrs. Page. What cause of suspicion Out upon you! how am I mistook in you!

Mrs. Ford. Why, alas! what 's the matter? Mrs. Page. Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman that, he says, is here now in the house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: You are undone.

Mrs. Ford. T is not so, I hope. Mrs. Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here; but 't is most certain your husband's coming with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I come before to tell you. If you know yourself clear, why I am glad of it: but if Mrs. Page. Thou 'rt a good boy; this secrecy of you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be

Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn: My master knows not of yer being here; and hath threatened to put me everlasting liberty if I tell you of it; for, he swears, he'll turn me away.

not amazed; call all your senses to you; defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life

for ever.

Mrs. Ford. What shall I do?-There is a gentleman, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame so much as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pound he were out of the house.

Mrs. Page. For shame, never stand you had ra-
ther, and you had rather; your husband's here at
hand; bethink you of some conveyance: in the
house you cannot hide him.-O, how have you de-
ceived me!-Look, here is a basket; if he be of any
reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and
throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to
bucking: Or, it is whiting-time, send him by your
two men to Datchet mead.

Mrs. Ford. He 's too big to go in there: What
Re-enter Falstaff.

shall I do?

Fal. Let me see 't, let me see 't! O let me see 't!
I'll in, I'll in; follow your friend's counsel;-I'll in.
Mrs. Page. What! Sir John Falstaff! Are these
your letters, knight?

Fal. I love thee. Help me away: let me creep in

here; I'll never

[He goes into the basket; they cover him with foul

linen.

Mrs. Page. Help to cover your master, boy: Call your men, mistress Ford :-You dissembling knight! [Exit Mrs. Ford. What John, Robert, John! Robin. Re-enter Servants.] Go take up these clothes here, quickly; where's the cowl-staff? look, how you drumble; carry them to the laundress in Datchet mead; quickly, come.

Enter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans. Ford. Pray you, come near: if I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me, then let me be your jest; I deserve it.-How now? whither bear you this?

Serv. To the laundress, forsooth.

Mrs. Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You were best meddle with buckwashing

cape.

Re-enter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans.
Ford. I cannot find him: may be the knave
bragged of that he could not compass.
Mrs. Page. Heard you that?

Mrs. Ford. You use me well, master Ford, do you?
Ford. Ay, I do so.

Mrs. Ford. Heaven make you better than your
Ford. Amen.
[thoughts!
Mrs. Page. You do yourself mighty wrong, master
[Ford.
Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it.

Eva. If there be any pody in the house, and in the
chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses,
heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment !
Caius. By gar, nor I too; dere is no bodies.
Page. Fie, fie, master Ford! are you not ashamed?
What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination?
would not have your distemper in this kind, for
the wealth of Windsor Castle.

I

Ford. "T is my fault, master Page: I suffer for it. Eva. You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is as honest a 'omans as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

Caius. By gar, I see 't is an honest woman. Ford. Well;-I promised you a dinner:- Come, come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me; I will hereafter make known to you why I have done this.-Come, wife ;-come, mistress Page; I pray you pardon me; pray heartily, pardon me. Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we 'll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house to breakfast: after, we 'll a birding together; I have a fine hawk for the bush: Shall it Ford. Any thing. [be so? Eva. If there is one, I shall make two in the com

pany.

Caius. If there be one or two, I shall make-a de [tird. Ford. Pray you go, master Page. Eva. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on the lousy knave, mine host.

Caius. Dat is good; by gar, vit all my heart. Eva. A lousy knave; to have his gibes and his [Exeunt. mockeries.

SCENE IV.-A Room in Page's House. Ford. Buck? I would I could wash myself of the Enter Fenton and Mistress Anne Page. buck! Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I warrant Fent. I see I cannot get thy father's love; you, buck; and of the season too, it shall appear. Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. Exeunt Servants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I Anne. Alas! how then? have dreamed to-night; I'll tell you my dream. Fent. Why, thou must be thyself. Here, here, here be my keys; ascend my chambers, He doth object, I am too great of birth: search, seek, find out: I'll warrant we'll unkennel And that, my state being gall'd with my expense, the fox:-Let me stop this way first :-so, now un-I seek to heal it only by his wealth: Besides these, other bars he lays before me,— My riots past, my wild societies; And tells me, 't is a thing impossible should love thee, but as a property. Anne. May be, he tells you true. Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to come! Albeit, I will contess thy father's wealth Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne: Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags; And 't is the very riches of thyself

Page. Good master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much.

Ford. True, master Page.-Up, gentlemen; you shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. [Exit. Eva. This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies. Caius. By gar, 't is no de fashion of France: it is not jealous in France.

Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search. [Exeunt Evans, Page, and Caius. Mrs. Page. Is there not a double excellency in

this?

Mrs. Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my husband is deceived, or sir John. Mrs. Page. What a taking was he in, when your husband asked what was in the basket!

Mrs. Ford. I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.

Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same strain were in the same distress. Mrs. Ford. I think my husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now.

Mrs. Page. I will lay a plot to try that: And we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?

Mrs. Page. We will do it; let him be sent for tomorrow eight o'clock, to have amends.

I

That now I aim at.
Anne.

Gentle master Fenton,
Yet seek my father's love: still seek it, sir:
If opportunity and humblest suit
Cannot attain it, why then.-Hark you hither.
[They converse apart.

Enter Shallow, Slender, and Mrs. Quickly.
Shal. Break their talk, mistress Quickly; my kins-
man shall speak for himself.
Slen. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on 't: slid, 't is but
Shal. Be not dismay'd.
[venturing.
Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for
that,-but that I am afeard.

Quick, Hark ye; master Slender would speak a
word with you.

Anne. I come to him.-This is my father's choice.
O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults
Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a-year!
[Asiat.

Quick. And how does good master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you.

Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a 'squire.

jointure.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds
Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for himself.
Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for
that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave you.

Anne. Now, master Slender.
Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.
Anne. What is your will?

Slen. My will? 'od's heartlings, that 's a pretty
jest, indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank
heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give
heaven praise.

Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with me?

Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you: Your father, and my uncle, have made motions: if it be my luck, so: if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go better than I can: You may ask your father; here he comes.

Enter Page and Mistress Page.
Page. Now, master Slender :-Love him, daugh-
ter Anne.-

Why, how now! what does master Fenton here?
You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house:
I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of.
Fent. Nay, master Page, be not impatient.
Mrs. Page. Good master Fenton, come not to my
Page. She is no match for you.
[child.
Fent. Sir, will you hear me !
Page.
No, good master Fenton.
Come, master Shallow; come, son Slender, in :-
Knowing my mind, you wrong me, master Fenton,
[Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender.
Quick. Speak to mistress Page.
Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your
In such a righteous fashion as I do, [daughter
Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,
I must advance the colours of my love,
And not retire: Let me have your good will.
Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond',
[husband.
Mrs. Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better
Quick. That's my master, master doctor.
Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth,
And bowl'd to death with turnips.
Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself:

fool.

master Fenton,

Good

I will not be your friend, nor enemy:
My daughter will I question how she loves you,
And as I find her, so am I affected;
'Till then, farewell, sir:-She must needs go in;
Her father will be angry.

SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.

Fal. Bardolph, I say,-
Bard. Here, sir.

Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in 't. [Exit Bard.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal; and to be thrown in the Thames? Well, if I be served such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a new year's gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drowned a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter and you may know by my size that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell I should shelvy and shallow,-a death that I abhor; for the down. I had been drowned but that the shore was water swells a man; and what a thing should I have been when I had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.

you.

Re-enter Bardolph with the wine.
Bard. Here's mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with
Fal. Come let me pour in some sack to the
Thames water; for my belly 's as cold as if I had
swallowed snow-balls for pills to cool the reins.
Call her in.
Bard. Come in, woman.

Enter Mrs. Quickly.

Quick. By your leave; I cry you mercy: Give your worship good-morrow.

Fal. Take away these chalices: Go, brew me a Pottle of sack finely.

Bard. With eggs, sir?

Fal. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage. [Exit Bardolph.-How now?

Quick. Marry, sir, I came to your worship from mistress Ford.

was thrown into the ford: I have my belly full of Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough: I

ford.

Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her
fault: she does so take on with her men; they mis-
took their erection.
[promise.

Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a birding: she desires you once more to her word quickly: she il make you amends, I warcome to her between eight and nine. I must carry

rant you.

Fal. Well, I will visit her: Tell her so; and bid
her think what a man is: let her consider his frailty,
and then judge of my merit.
Quick. I will tell her.

Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou?
Quick. Eight and nine, sir.

Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her.
Quick. Peace be with you, sir.

[Exit.

Fal. I marvel I hear not of master Brook; he sent me word to stay within: I like his money well. O here he coincs.

Enter Ford.

Ford. Bless you, sir!
Fal. Now, master Brook? you come to know what
hath passed between me and Ford's wife.
Ford. That, indeed, sir John, is my business.
Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you: I was at
her house the hour she appointed me.
Ford. And sped you, sir?

[Exeunt Mrs. Page and Anne. Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress; farewell, Nan, Quick. This is my doing now.-Nay, said I, will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on master Fenton: this is my doing. Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night Give my sweet Nan this ring: There 's for thy Fal. Very ill-favouredly, master Brook. [ation? pains. [Exit. Ford. How so, sir? Did she change her determinQuick. Now heaven send thee good fortune! A Fal. No, master Brook; but the peaking cornuto kind heart he hath: a woman would run through her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet, I'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our enwould my master had mistress Anne; or I would counter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested, master Slender had her: or, in sooth, I would mas- and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; ter Fenton had her: I will do what I can for them and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither all three; for so I have promised, and I'll be as provoked and instigated by his distemper, and forgood as my word; but speciously for master Fen- sooth, to search his house for his wife's love. ton. Well, I must of another errand to sir John Ford. What, while you were there? Falstaff from my two mistresses. What a beast am Fal. While I was there. [find you? I to slack it? "Exit. Ford. And did he search for you and could not

Quick. Blessing of his heart!

Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence of Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says my son Ford's approach; and, in her invention and Ford's profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray wife's distraction, they conveyed me into a buck- you, ask him some questions in his accidence. Ford. A buck-basket? [basket. Eva. Come hither, William; hold up your head;

Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah: hold up your head;
answer your master, be not afraid.
Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns?
Will. Two.
Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one num-
ber more; because they say, od's nouns.
Eva. Peace your tattlings. What is fair, William?
Will. Pulcher.
Quick. Poulcats! there are fairer things than poul-
cats, sure.
Eva. You are a very simplicity 'oman; I pray you,
peace. What is lapis, Williami?
Will. A stone.

Eva. And what is a stone, William?
Will. A pebble.

Fal. Yes, a buck-basket; rammed me in with foul come.
shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, greasy
napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankest
compound of villainous smell that ever offended
Ford. And how long lay you there? [nostril.
Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I
have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your
good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple
of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were called forth by
their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul
clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their
shoulders; met the jealous knave their master in
the door; who asked them once or twice what they
had in their basket: I quaked for fear lest the
lunatic knave would have searched it; but fate, or-
daining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well:
on went he for a search, and away went I for foul
clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook: I
suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first,
an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous
rotten bell-wether: next, to be compassed, like a
good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to
point, heel to head: and then, to be stopped in,
like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that
fretted in their own grease: think of that, a man
of my kidney,-think of that; that am as subject to
heat, as butter; a man of continual dissolution and
thaw; it was a miracle to 'scape suffocation. And
in the height of this bath, when I was more than
half stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be
thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing hot,
in that surge, like a horseshoe; think of that,focative case, William?
hissing hot,-think of that, master Brook.

[prain.

Eva. No, it is lapis; I pray you remember in your
Will. Lapis.
Eva. That is a good William. What is he, William,
that does lend articles?
Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun; and
be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic,
hæc, hoc.

Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog-pray you,
mark: genitivo, hujus: Well, what is your accusa-
tive case?
Will. Accusativo, hinc.

Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child;
Accusativo, hing, hang, hog.

Quick. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.
Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the
Will. O-vocativo, O.

Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my
sake you have suffered all this. My suit then is
desperate; you 'll undertake her no more,
Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as
I have been thrown into Thames, ere I will leave
her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a bird-
ing: I have received from her another embassy of
meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, master
Ford. T is past eight already, sir. [Brook.
Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appoint-
ment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and
you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion
shall be crowned with your enjoying her: Adieu.
You shall have her, master Brook; master Brook,
you shall cuckold Ford.
[Exit.
Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no un-
do I sleep? Master Ford, awake; awake, master derstandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the
Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, mas-genders? Thou art as foolish christian creatures as
ter Ford. This 't is to be married! this 't is to have I would desires.
linen and buck-baskets!-Well, I will proclaim my-
self what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at
my house he cannot 'scape me; 't is impossible he
should; he cannot creep into a halfpenny purse,
nor into a pepper-box; but, lest the devil that
guides him should aid him, I will search impossible
places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet
to be what I would not shall not make me tame:
If I have horns to make me mad, let the proverb go
with me, I'll be horn mad.

Eva. Remember, William, focative is, caret.
Quick. And that's a good root.
Eva. 'Oman, forbear."
Mrs. Page. Peace.

Eva. What is your genitive case plural, William?
Will. Genitive case?
Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive,-horum, harum, horum.
Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her!-
never name her, child, if she be a whore.
Eva. For shame, 'oman.

Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves, and to call horum :fie upon you!

ACT IV.

SCENE I.-The Street.

[Exit.

Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Quickly, and William. Mrs. Page. Is he at master Ford's already, think'st thou?

Quick. Sure he is by this; or will be presently: but truly he is very courageous mad, about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by-and-by; I'll but bring my young man here to school. Look, where his master comes; 't is a playing day, I see.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

How now, sir Hugh? no school to-day? [play.
Eva. No; master Slender is let the boys leave tol

Mrs. Page. Prithee, hold thy peace. Eva. Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns. Will. Forsooth, I have forgot. Eva. It is qui, quæ, quod; if you forget your quies, your ques, and your quods, you must be preeches. Go your ways, and play, go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

Eva. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, mistress Page. Mrs. Page. Adieu, good sir Hugh. [Exit Sir Hugh.] Get you home, boy.-Come, we stay too long. [Exeunt.

SCENE II.-A Room in Ford's House.

Enter Falstaff and Mrs. Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my
sufferance: I see you are obsequious in your love,
and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not only,
mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all
the accoutrement, complement, and ceremony of it.
But are you sure of your husband now?

Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet sir John.
Mrs. Page. [Within.] What hoa, gossip Ford!

what hoa!

Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, sir John.
[Exit Falstaff.