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beggar on the throne to the king on the “And a dollar is it, my darlint; why, in dunghill-we mean, from the king on my country you might buy them for sixpence the dunghill to the beggar on the throne.” apiece."
It is sometimes better, when a man has “ And why didn't you stay in that blessed made a blunder, to let it go. cheap country?" Och, faith, and there was no sixpence
VERY concise verdict that of a coroner's there, to be sure!”
jury in Idaho, and råcy of the soil: “ We find
that the deceased' came to his death by That was a very prettily turned speech calling Tom Watlings a liar.” which Lady Lucan made to Mrs. Sheridan, wife of the great wit, who was at that time all the rage: "You must be a very happy
The salubrity of the climate of Minnesota woman, madam, who have the felicity of is universally conceded. In the opinion of pleasing the man who pleases all the one Dr. Murphy, it is superior to that of world.”
California or any other State.
On one When compliments give so much pleasure, occasion he remarked: “Look at me! Beit is strange that good people are so chary hold my rounded form! When I came here of them. °Flattery is foolish and wicked, I weighed only ninety-seven pounds, and but praise, when deserved, is due, and ought now I weigh two hundred and seventy-five. to be paid, like any other debt.
What do you think of that?”
A young gentleman of the vicinage, stand“As in smooth oil the razor best is whet,
ing by, said, “Why, doctor, that's nothing: So wit is by politeness sharpest set,
Look at me; I weigh one hundred and Their want of edge from their offense is seen, Both pain us least when exquisitely keen,
seventy-five pounds, and when I came to The fame men give is for the joy they find;
Minnesota I weighed only six pounds.” Dull is the jester, when the jokes 's unkind."
He rather had the medical man. So true is this, that even the fame and genius of Madame de Staël cannot shield her
We are indebted to a "staff corresponfrom censure when she made such a savage dent” for the following anecdote concerning reply to an infelicitous but well-meant com- the recent registration of female voters in pliment paid to her by M. Lalande the Boston. astronomer. At a dinner party he was
Enter old lady of a certain age. seated between Madame Recamier and “I wish to register, sir.” Madame de Staël. Wishing to say some- “Your name, please ?" thing agreeable he remarked :
“ Almira Jane Simpson.” How happy I am to be thus placed be
“ Your age?” tween genius and beauty!”
Beg pardon." “Yes, Monsieur," sarcastically replied
“Your age?” Madame de Staël, “and without possessing “Do I understand that I must give ray either.”
Yes, miss, the law requires it." THE Franilin Register once published an
“Worlds, sir, would not tempt me to give
it! Not that I care. address by the Rev. Mr. Abbott, and in its
No; I had as soon next issue noted the following correction:
wear it on my bonnet, as á hackman does "For • dum swizzle, please read 'promi- sister has a weakness, it is that she
his number; but I'm a twin, and if my nence.'
This was bad enough, but the next week any reference to her age. Good morning.” the same paper had the following:
“In an advertisement which appeared in A YEAR or two ago a case was on trial our last paper, for ‘Bumbleton's storm- before Judge —, in which a certain horsedestroying porringers,' read ‘Hamilton's doctor was a witness. The doctor was on worm-destroying lozenges.'
the stand, and answered the questions Falkner, who edited the Dublin Journal, addressed to him in a very low and indisannounced in glowing terms the arrival in tinct voice. He was repeatedly asked to that city of a distinguished member of the speak louder, but continued his mumbling British nobility. On the next day his paper tones, to the great annoyance of his quescontained the following very Hibernian cor- tioner. The judge interrupted, and addressrection :
ing the lawyer; said, “Mr. - , you must “For Her Grace the Duke;' in yester- really excuse the doctor; his long experience day's journal, read “His Grace the Duch- in the sick-room has made it his second nature
to speak low.” He improved the matter quite as much as the good clergyman in England did who, A' CONGRESS of Americanists recently without book, was praying, and said: “O assembled in Copenhagen. An Americanist Lord, bless all classes of people, from the lis said to be a student of early American
history. Not to be behind the countries of docto”, tho very best; we never use any the Old World, America should convene a other." “Let me coe it.” So tho bottlo congress of Europeanists.
was brought, the doctor tasted it, shook his head; and, thinking a moment, said: “I'll
take it home and analyze it—there are so A DANKY on Pecano Plantation not long many tricks among liquor-dealers.” “Oh, since was much tried by the obstinacy of a
no fear of that with our grocer. He sells mule. After much urging and kindness nono but the very best ; imports them all toward tho brute, he broke out with, “Look directly himself.” “Well, I'll look into it." hyer, now! mebby you think 'cause I jined And calming the family fears, the good the church last Sunday that I can't use big doctor departed, taking the pure old cognac words; but I'll hab you know I'm gwine in his pocket. In a short time a note from make a special 'ception in your case.” him was handed in: “DEAR L-,-Mako
yourself perfectly casy; the cognas is only In the literature of summer resorts a new whisky, and won't hurt you. It was the logterm has made its appearance. The public wood in it that gave you the brilliant colour." is informed that a large number of “ society solids”-whatever they may be—have arrived A city clergyman, who had just obtained at a well-known New Jersey watering place. some weeks' vacation from his labours in
the midst of the hot weather, when he had whose life had been mainly spent in raising Goodness I do not have to preach or pray It is related of a certain young aristocrat, got into the country where he could feel
himself truly at leisure, exclaimed, “Thank money from Jews, that he had heard that a
for the next six weeks!” meeting was to be held in Exeter Hall in reference to a new tribe of Jews who had been found in some part of Asia, and who That advertising is coming to bo more were promising subjects for conversion. To and more a specialty in literature is sufthe surprise of the meeting, in came this ficiently attested by such announcements as young nobleman. The chairman expressed the following, from a recent number of the delight at his presence. His lordship re- London Times: plied, “I have seen the interesting advertise- “A FOREIGN LADY, who is about to travel, wishes
to meet with a cheerful young Widow, who would ment respecting this wealthy new tribe of jcia her." Jows, and I am come to learn more particu- Would not some hilarious bereaved Mother lars about them.”
or jolly young Orphan do as well ? The chairman jocosely said, “Perhaps your lordship would like to visit them.”
MILLIONAIRE AND BAREFOOT BOY. “Indeed I should,” was the instant an
'Tis evening, and the round red sun sinks slowly in the swer; "and that is what has brought mo
trest, herc. I have had the best of every Jew in the flowers fold their petals up, the birds fly to the this country, and I should like to have some nest, fresh ones.”
The crickets chirrup in the grass, the bats flit to and f.,
And the rich man from his carriage looks out on them as An invalid, gradually recovering from an
they come attack of sickness which had left him very On them and on the Barefoot Boy that drives the cattle weak, was recommended by his physician home. to rub himself all over every night on going “I wish,” the boy says to himself_“I wish that I were to bed, with brandy, as a means of regaining ho, his strength. Accordingly, he sent to his And yet, upon raturer thought, I do not-no, sirre! family grocer, with whom he had dealt for Not for tho gold his coffers hold would I bə that dufter
there, years, and ordered a quantity of the
With a liver pad and a gouty toe, and scarce a single “old cogncs," after applying which for
hair; several successive nights, he felt much to have a wife with a Roman nose, and fear lest a panic better. So he continued the process until one morning, to his horror, le found his Far better to be the Barefoot Loy that drives the cate's
home.” entire cuticlo of a deep crimson colourdarker by a good many shades than boiled and the rich ran murmurs tə himself: "Would I gira lobster. Springing up in alarm, he rousell
all my pelf the family, and the doctor was sent for in To change my lot with yonder boy? Not if I know haste.
myself, The doctor could hardly forbear Over the grass that's full of ants and chill with dew, smiling when he saw tho ludicrous appearance of his patient, but finding the sick man With a cruel bruise on either heel and a splinter in my and his family decply alarmed, ho sobered his risibles, and asked, “Has he rubbed Oh, I'd rather sail my yacht a year across the cean's himself every night, as I ordered ?” Yes, Than bo one day tho Barefoot Boy that drives the cattle faithfully.” “ The best of brandy?” “Yes, bome."
NEW MONTHLY MAGAZINE.
No. CCCCII.— NOVEMBER, 1883.-VOL. LXVII.
A VACATION IN VERMONT.
Fthe Green Mountains one might prob- points in the Vermont landscape, and then
ably say, paraphrasing Montesquieu's invite the reader with their aid to complete famous prediction about the spirit of laws, the picture. One of these shall be the that they are more generally admired than highest peak in the State; the other, one visited. Poets sing without seeing them. of the lowest valleys. The former is in They have furnished ready and familiar the northeast, and stands guard over the figures to orators who could hardly point Connecticut; the latter is in the south west, them out on the map. That they stimu- and opens out into Champlain and the late the virtues of the patriot, and grow a Hudson. Mount Mansfield will illustrate stalwart race of men, is one of those axi- the grandeur and majesty of the Green oms which one meets over and over again Mountains themselves. Otter Creek irriin the pages of writers who have never gates a narrow vale between the mountfelt their rugged breezes, or measured the ains, and supplies the power for one of the sons of Vermont in their own homes. leading industries of the State. Both reNor this service which the State renders gions, too, are somewhat frequented by to rhetoric shared in anything like an tourists, and one of them is on the direct equal degree by other States, which also line of a railway. have mountains, loftier perhaps and grand- Mount Mansfield is accessible either er than its own. Even the White Mount- from the east or from the west. If from ains seem to be less frequently used, the west, the last railway station is Underwhile the Alleghanies, the Rocky Mount- hill, where there is a popular summer hoains, and other noble chains throughout tel, and whence carriages can ascend as the country are almost unknown in liter- far as the Half-way House. For the rest ature and oratory. Only one thing is of the distance the tour is only for pedestherefore wanting to complete the singu- trians, but there is a good foot-path, and lar pre-eminence of Vermont. If her a succession of views, as one ascends, afmountains and valleys were more often fords a pleasant diversion, relieves the latraversed and better known, if her chil- bor, and prepares for the final panorama dren were studied through personal contact which is revealed from the summit. The and acquaintance, the phrases of enthusi- favorite route is, however, by way of asm and admiration would not perhaps be Stowe, which lies southeast of the mountsubdued, but they would be well inform- ain. It is reached by stage from Morrised, just, rational, more serviceable to their ville, eight miles distant on the St. Johnsauthors, and not less complimentary to bury and Lake Champlain Railroad, or their objects.
from the better known and more convenThe present article can, of course, repair ient station of Waterbury, ten miles disthis neglect only in part. To describe the tant, on the Central Vermont Railroad. whole State, or even all its leading beau- This great thoroughfare furnishes the ties, would require a dozen volumes in- means of easy access from New York and stead of as many pages; or if attempted Boston, and connects with the more imon a small scale would be little more than portant lines of communication in all dia catalogue of natural objects, without rections. those minute details which could alone The tourist who like myself chooses the justify them to the critical eye. We shall last described course finds at Waterbury therefore take for description two favorite the final traces of a corrupt urban civili
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1883, by Harper and Brothers, in the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington.
VOL. LXVII.-No. 402.-51