Boundaries: When to Say Yes, when to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Front Cover

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person? - What are legitimate boundaries? - What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? - How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? - Aren't boundaries selfish? - Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.

 

Contents

Acknowledgments
11
Part One What Are Boundaries?
13
A Day in a Boundaryless Life
15
What Does a Boundary Look Like?
29
Boundary Problems
51
How Boundaries Are Developed
63
Ten Laws of Boundaries
85
Common Boundary Myths 15
88
Boundaries and Work
201
Boundaries and Your Self
215
Boundaries and
235
Part Three
243
Resistance to Boundaries
245
How to Measure Success with Boundaries
275
A Day in a Life with Boundaries
293
Notes
305

51
104
Boundary Conflicts
127
Boundaries and Your Family
137
Boundaries and Your Friends
143
Boundaries and Your Spouse
157
Boundaries and Your Children
175
Index
307
129
309
143
310
157
311
293
312
Copyright

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About the author (1992)

Dr. Henry Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert, psychologist, and New York Times best-selling author. In his leadership consulting practice, Dr. Cloud works with both Fortune 500 companies and smaller private businesses. He has an extensive executive coaching background and experience as a leadership consultant, devoting the majority of his time working with CEOs, leadership teams, and executives to improve performance, leadership skills, and culture. Dr. Cloud lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy.