over the dykes, &c. The animals, notwithstanding this precaution, continued to stroll out together; and one day, the gentleman suspecting that all was not right, determined to watch them, and, to his surprise, found that the moment they thought themselves out of sight, the greyhound took up the iron ring in his mouth, and carrying it, they both set out for the hills, and began to search for hares as usual. They were followed, and it was observed that, when the pointer scented the hare, the ring was dropped, and the greyhound stood ready to pounce upon poor puss, the moment the other drove her from her form -but he uniformly returned to assist his companion when he had accomplished his object..

In a company of topers, whose fancies are always inventive of a reason fair to fill their glass again," a round of belles was proposed. Dr. B, upon being called upon for the fair object of his admiration, gave, with much gravity, "the college bell."

INGENIOUS DECEPTION.-A north country coaster arrived at Leith a short time since, laden with a number of well-fed geese, &c. The Custom-house boatmen boarded her as usual, and one of them, to satisfy his suspicions (the geese being extremely weighty) most unceremoniously cut up one of the fattest, and to his satisfaction, if not surprise, discovered a bottle of whiskey deposited inside. A destructive attack was now made upon the whole, when each was speedily disencumbered of its burden.

When first the art of Printing was discovered, one side only of a page was made use of the expedient of impressing the other was not yet found out. Specimens of these early printed books are in his Majesty's and Lord Spencer's libraries. Afterwards they thought of pasting the blank sides, which made them appear like one leaf. It is singular that the Romans, who had stereotypes, or immoveable printing types, with which they stamped their pottery, should have failed to apply the invention to their literary works,

POOR MILITARY.-A young Ensign, residing in lodgings the rooms of which were very small, was visited by a fashionable friend, who had no sooner entered than he exclaimed-"Heaven defend me, Charles, where do you find space to breathe here why there's hardly room enough for a cock to crow in? how long have you been in this nutshell ?"—" Not long enough," said the other, archly, " to become a kernel.".

A gentleman having a horse that started, and broke his wife's neck, a neighbouring squire told him he wished to purchase it for his wife to ride upon. "No," says the other, I will not sell it-I intend to marry again myself!"

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SCOTCH CAUTION.-During the Irish Rebellion of 1798, a Scotsman happening to be in a public honse in Dublin, perceived a great disposition in the rest of the company to pick a quarrel with him. It hardly required the calculating prudence for which

Scotsmen are distinguished to forsee the danger to which an unconnected stranger would expose himself by any unsuitable dis-' play of sensitiveness; and accordingly he affected most complete ignorance of the object of all the sarcasms and inuendós levelled at him. At last Irish impatience could hold out no longer; and two or three of the company starting from their seats, told him frankly that they had come to a resolution to baste every Englishman they fell in with that night. "Gentlemen," said the Caledonian, in raptures at the prospect of escape which now presented itself to him-" Gentlemen, I am happy to be able to undeceive you I am no Englishman, but a native of Scotland.”" "Worse by J-s, a hundred times," rejoined the others," than if you had been an Englishman ;" and their actions immediately proved the sincerity of their language.

PROFANE SWEARING.-Among the vices which fashion has too great a share in encouraging, none is of worse example, or less excusable, than that of profane swearing, or the practice of interlarding one's conversation on all occasions, even the most trifling, with appeals to the Deity. A general officer, who is a living and illustrious example to the perfect compatibility of the most gentlemanly manners, with the strictest purity of language, but who was in early life much addicted to this fashionable sin, dates his reformation from a memorable reproof which he accidentally received when a young man, from an eccentric Scottish clergyman settled in the North of England. While stationed with his regiment at Newcastle, he had the misfortune, one evening, to get involved in a street brawl with some persons of the lower class, and the dispute, as is too usual in such cases, was carried on with an abundance of audacious oaths on both sides. The clergyman alluded to, passing by at the moment, and being much shocked at the imprecations which assailed his ears, stepped into the midst of the crowd, and, with his cane uplifted, thus gravely addressed one of the principal leaders of the rabble : "Oh, John, John, what's this now I hear? You, only a poor collier body, and swearing like any lord in all the land! O, John ha'e ye nae fear what will become o' ye ? It may do very well for this braw gentleman here," pointing to Lieut., "to bang and swear as he pleases; but, John, its nae for ye, or the like o' ye to take in vain the name o' Him by whom ye live and ha'e your being." Then turning to the Lieutenant, he continued, "Ye'll excuse the poor man, Sir, for swearing; he's an ignorant body, and kens nae better." Lieut. slunk away covered with confusion, and unable to make any answer; but the next day he made it his business to see the worthy parson, and thanked him in the sincerest manner for his well-timed admonition, which had as he assured him, and as the result has shown, cured him for -ever of a most hateful vice.

SECOND THOUGHTS ARE BEST.-When Mr. Thelwall was on his trial at the Old Bailey for High Treason, during the evidence for the prosecution, he wrote the following note and sent it to his counsel: "Mr. Erskine, I am determined to plead my cause myself." Mr. Erskine wrote under it, "If you do, you'll be hanged;" to which Mr. Thelwall immediately returned this reply, I'll be hanged then if I do."

THE INESTIMABLE JEWEL.-The Talmudists relate that Abraham, in travelling to Egypt, brought with him a chest. At the custom house the officers exacted the duties. Abraham would have readily paid, but desired they would not open the chest. They first insisted on the duty for clothes, which Abraham consented to pay; but then they thought by his ready acquiescence that it might be gold. Abraham consented to pay for gold. They now suspected it might be silk. Abraham was willing to pay for silk, or more costly pearls-in short, he consented to pay as if the chest contained the most valuable of things. It was then they resolved to open and examine the chest, and behold, as soon as the chest was opened, that great lustre of human beauty broke out which made such a noise in the land of Egypt-it was Sarah herself! The jealous Abraham, to conceal her beauty, had locked her in this chest.

The following anecdote affords one of many proofs of the truth of the observations that those who pay for secret information, will always obtain it :-A short time after the accession of Louis XVI. to the throne, the Minster of the King's Household was imformed that a very insulting libel against the Queen had appeared. The Lieutenant de Police charged one Goupil, an Inspector of Police, with the discovery of this libel; he made his appearance some time afterwards, with the information that he had discovered the place where this work was printed, that it was in the country near Yverdun. He posessed already two sheets of it, which contained atrocious calumnies, but exhibited with an art which might render them very fatal to the reputation of the Queen Goupil said that he would obtain the remainder, but that a considerable sum was necessary. Three thousand louis were given to him; soon after he brought to the Lieutenant of Police the whole manuscipt, with all that was printed of it; he received a thousand louis more as a reward for his intelligence and zeal, and a much more important post was about to be given to him, when another spy, jealous of the fortune of this Goupil, discovered that he was himself the author of this libel; that ten years, before he had been in the Bicêtre for swindling; that Madame Goupil had only three years before left the Salpetrière, where she had been under another name."

A horrible assassination has been committed at the Brille. An inhabitant of that town having gained a prize in the lottery,

proposed to his wife to ask a smith, their neighbour, to supper; while they were at their repast the citizen acquainted his guest with his good fortune; the latter soon left him. The patrol of a Swiss regiment passing by, found the street door open, on which the officer commanding it went in and stumbled over a dead body; placing his men at the door, he went into the house, and found the father and mother, and their two daughters assassinated, and a child concealed under a press. The child said that some black people, whom he knew not, had committed the crime; one of the soldiers observing that a smith lived opposite, the officer of the patrol went to him, and on the answers he received to his suspicions, he arrested him; in fact, in five minutes he confessed that he had but just got home, when he returned to his neighbour's with his journeyman and his maid servant, with whose aid he assassinated the persons who had treated him so amicably a few minutes before..

The

A young Englishman while at Naples was introduced at an assembly of one of the first ladies, by a Neapolitan gentleman. While he was there his snuff-box was stolen from him. next day, being at another house, he saw a person taking snuff out of his box. He ran to his friend-" There," said he," that man in blue, with gold embroidery, is taking snuff out of the box stolen from me yesterday. Do you know him? Is he not a sharper?" "Take care," said the other, "that man is of the first quality." "I do not care for his quality," said the Englishman, "I must have my snuff-box again; I'll go and ask him for it."-" Pray," said his friend, "be quiet, and leave it to me to get back your box." Upon this assurance the Englishman went away, after inviting his friend to dine with him the next day. He accordingly came, and as he entered, There," said he, "I have brought your snuff-box." "Well, how did you obtain it?" "Why," said the Neapolitan nobleman, "I did not wish to make any noise about it, therefore I picked his pocket of it." Duten's Memoirs.

A worthy clergyman in Fife, having occasion, in the course of his sermon, to employ the word catastrophe, he explained to his attentive hearers that it signified "the end or tail of any thing." An honest woman, whose vocabulary was not very extensive, considered the explanation a valuable addition to her stock of knowledge, and stored the word in her memory, with the resolution of making use of it as she found occasion. Some days after, seeing the minister ride past, she called to him, Sir, there's a whin kow at your horse's catastrophe."

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MONKISH AUSTERITIES. The austerities practised by the Monks of the order of La Trappe, are classed under nine heads :1. The endurance of cold in the winter when the use of a fire is permitted but for a few moments at a time. 2. Heat in summer, when the drops of sweat gathered by toil must not be dried by a

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handkerchief, but only wiped from the brow with the hand. 3. Early rising before half past one in the morning on Sundays and ordinary festivals, and before midnight on great festivals. 4. Never to lean against the wall sitting, however fatigued. 5. To make but one meal a day for seven months of the year, and that to consist of herbs and vegetables, without butter or oil, and seasoned with salt and water; this too not to be touched but on a signal given by the Superior. 6. To work fasting for five or six hours a day or more, at laborious occupations. 7. To sing in the choir, or pray, more than seven hours every day; more than eleven on Sundays, and more than twelve on great festivals. 8. Never to sleep but on boards, with a pillow of straw. 9. To reckon all this nothing; and every morning to make a protestation before the cross, and repeat the miserere, and intreat God's forgiveness for having done so little during the day, and that little so ill. Even, if necessary, some retrenchment is to be made upon this subsistence. The brethren of the order are directed to consider a particular frendship as more sinful and pernicious than the most deadly hatred, by diverting the affections from the Creator to the creature.

WEAKNESS!-When the Lord Bishop of Chester was at Muker, in Swaledale, Yorkshire, on the visitation of his diocese, an old woman applied to him to be confirmed. His Lordship said it was very unusual for a person of her age to be confirmed; but she insisted on the rite.-The Bishop then asked her how many commandments there were? She replied three. What are they, said his Lordship? She answered, Whit-sunday, Kersmus, and Muker Fair! The Bishop now told her she was a weak old woman. Wake," said she, in the country dialect, " eigh an sae wad ye be wake, if ye'ad been in a lousness three weeks or a month, as I've been."

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Death of a rEMARKABLE MISER.-A short time ago an old man, named Robert Tristran, who resided in a dirty court in Cow-cross, being to every appearance in the greatest distress, not having common necessaries of life, was admitted as a pauper into the poor-house of St. James's, Clerkenwell, where he remained until Friday last, when he expired. Some person in the poor-house after his death opened a box, in which were deposited a few rags of clothes belonging to the deceased, and to their surprise, found in the puckers thirteen sovereigns, and afterwards three watches; this induced them to search more minutely, and they at last found a written paper, purporting to be the old man's will, whereby he gives £1,650, in the funds, and the other property that he may be possessed of at the time of his death, to Mary Anne Thompson, whom he calls his natural daughter and describes her to be about 14 years of age. This girl is not known by any person in the poor-house, and John Scott, Esq. churchwarden, has taken the affair into his own