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He thought it his duty to inform the police, and, as a reward for his zeal, was for the present put under arrest. It is said that the police had discovered that there was a society of twelve robbers, who recognised each other by these caps, and without doubt this is the reason why the honest furrier was mistaken for a member of the band.
ANECDOTE.—Crebillon was unfortunate in his family. His wife was suspected of infidelity, and his son was licentious in his writings and in his conduct. His enemies gave out that his plays were written by a brother of his, who was a clergyman. As a proof of this, they said that his brother at his death finished four acts of Catiline, and that Crebillon himself was obliged to add the fifth, which is very inferior to the rest, and condemned the play. One day he was saying in a company in which his son was present, “I have done two things in my life which I shall always repent, my Catiline and my son.”—“ And yet, Sir,” said the son, they say that you are not the author of either.”
A drunken fellow offering to pawn his bible for liquor at a public house, the landlord refused to take it. “ What !” said the fellow, "will neither my own word, nor the word of God, a pot of beer.”
What did Mr. die of? asked a simple neighbour. Of a complication of disorders, replied his friend. How do you describe that complication, my good sir ? He died, rejoined the other, of two physicians, an apothecary, and a surgeon.
John P. Kemble being asked by a clergyman, who was not very earnest in his profession, to go and hear him preach ; was asked by the parson on his return how he liked his sermon ? “Sir,” replied he, you are a better actor than I am."
The following story is evidently told to show how the gravest characters may be brought into suspicion from the most trifling misconceptions. A Judge no less celebrated for his piety than for his law, was not long ago in the room of an inn at Harrowgate, and being about to put the date to a letter which he was writing, and being doubtful as to the orthography of the word, and unwilling to show the other company in the room his ignorance, even in suck a trifle, said rather in a low voice to the waiter who had given him the inkstand—“Is there a w in Harrowgate ?"-The waiter at first only answered him with a “Sir!" when the Judge repeated, in a still more significant and confidential way, “ Is there a w in Harrowgate? “Oh! yes, sir, said the waiter, " there are several, but master does not allow any of them to come here.”
The late Duke of Newcastle, had great bustle and appearance of business in his manner-always in a hurry, and generally indiscreet though quick in his conversation. It was this manner that induced the late Dowager Lady Townsend to say of him, “ That he always put her in mind of a man that had lost two hours in the morning, and was looking for them the rest of the day.” He was always esteemed a Courtier of the first order--full of civilities, promises and forgetfulness. Whenever he had a mind any recommendation of his should succeed, he niade a private mark opposite his signature in red ink. When this mark did not appear, the letter meant nothing. A Gentleman who long danced attendance at the Duke's levee, being one morning cooling his heels in the ante-chamber along with a number of other unfortunate solicitors, one of the company was praising the elegant stucco of the ceiling : “ Yes," says the gentleman, " it is really very elegant; and what is more, it is of a piece with the flooring."-". How can that be?" says the other. Why, don't you see the top and bottom of the room is full of fret-work ?"
ENGLISH BLUNTNESS.-A Dandy, having more than the usual allowance of back, and not in other respects remarkable for the symmetry of his form, returned a third pair of boots upon the hands of his 'boot-maker. The tradesman was at last out of all patience. Pray, Sir," says he, “ what is the fault of this boot ?" “ The fault of it?" replied the Exquisite, “why it is made of a bad material, and is devilish ill-shaped." Why really, Sir," rejoined Crispin, drily. “you ought to be the last person to quarrel with such defects."
A celebrated Quaker, visiting alady of rank, whom he found, six months after the death of her husband, sitting on a sopha covered with black cloth, and in all the dignity of woe, approached her with great solemnity, and, gently taking her by the hand, thus accosted her : “So, friend, I see that thou hast not forgiven God Almighty.” This seasonable reproof had such an effect upon the person to whom it was addressed, that she immediately had all her trappings of grief destroyed, and went about her necessary business and avocations.
The Rev. Dr. P. visiting a country clergyman, requested permission to preach to his congregation, which his friend consented to, on condition that he adapted the language of his sermon to the illiterate capacities of his parishioners, and that he used no hard words. After the sermon was over Dr. P. asked his friend whether he had not strictly observed the conditions ? The other replied that he had used several words beyond the comprehension of his hearers, and instance the word felicity, for which he wonld have substituted happiness. Dr. P. contended that one word was as plain as the other ; and, to prove it, proposed calling in the ploughman, and putting it to him, which was done. Well, Robin, do you know the meaning of the word felicity ?" “Ees, Sir,” said Robin (scratching his head, and endeavouring to look wise), "ees, Sir, I thinks as how I does.” “Well, Robin, speak up.” Why, Sir, I doesn't know disactly, but I thinks it's some'at inside of a pig !”
The Rev. Dr.-, Rector of Harworth, in the county of Durham, preached three Sundays sucessively upon these words : “ Behold now the axe is laid to the root of the tree," Matt. 3. 10. It waited upon
happened that a timber-merchant came to the village, and enquired at the public-house if the landlord could direct him to a good purchase. The host very gravely recommended him to the parson of the parish; for, says he, he has been felling wood for the last three weeks. The unwary traveller believed the information, and
his Reverence ; the Doctor, astonished at the application, began to remonstrate with the merchant upon his ipsolence. The man, equally surprised, very coolly gave his authority : when the Rector's wife thus unravelled the mystery : ” My dear, I hope this will be a warning to you in futurs, not to preach three Sundays upon one and the same text !"
A certain fop was boasting in company that he had every sense in perfection ; No, by G-d, said one who stood by, there is one you are entirely without and that is common sense.
Miss the daughter of Mr. who drove stage coaches, happened to be seated in the stage-box at the theatre at York: the box was already taken by a Mrs. F -, and on the latter's entrance, some altercation ensued, till Mrs. F-, recollecting herself, said, “ She could not dispute it with one who had an hereditary right to the box !"
A physian ordered a patient to live higher, (i. e. more freely); the poor man mistook the doctor, and removed to the garret, where unfortunately he expired before his next visit.
A man carried a bag about at Scarborough, in which he said he had a cherry-coloured cat. The gentry flocked round him to see this great curiosity, When the man let the cat out of the bag, it proved a black one. He desired they would not wonder, as there were black cherries as well as red ones.
Dr. Wolcot, better known by the name of Peter Pindar, from the prodigious sale of his early pieces, became a desirable object of bookselling speculation, and about the year 1795, Robinson, Golding and Walker, entered into a treaty to grant him an annuity for his published works and on certain conditions for his unpublished ones. While this was pending, Peter had an attack of asthma, which he did not conceal or palliate, but at meetings of the parties his asthma always interrupted the business. A fatal result was of course anticipated, and instead of a sum money, an annuity of £250. per annum was preferred. Soon after the bond was signed, Peter called on Walker, manager for the parties, who surveyed him with a scrutinizing eye, and asked him how he did. “Much better, thank you,” said Peter. “ I have taken measure of my asthma ; the fellow is troublesome, but I know his strength, and am his master." “ Oh !” said Walker, gravely, and turned into an adjoining room, where Mrs. Walker, a prudent woman, had been listening to the conversation. Peter, aware of the feeling, paid a keen attention to the husband and wife and heard the latter exclaim-" There now didn't I tell you he wou'dn't die? Fool that you have been I knew he wou'dn't die,” Peter enjoyed the
joke, and outlived all the parties receiving the annuity for 24 years, during which various efforts were improperly used to frustrate his claim.
Figur EXTRAORDINARY.—A short time since, Thomas Dawson, a labourer of Garford, Berks, aged 91, had a trifling quarrel with a labourer of the same village, aged 85, which they agreed to settle (a la Belcher) in a nieghbouring meadow. The battle was contested, each party displayed the most determined spirit, and victory for a time was doubtful ; at length the fight terminated in favour of Dawson, who was not a little pleased at having beaten a man younger than himself. On the following day (although apparently not injured) he was too unwell to go to work, and gradually grew worse until the seventh day, when he expired. Dawson had been a labourer on the farın now occnpied by Mr. Harman, of Garford, for nearly seventy years, and was never known to be absent from his work a single day until after the fight.
Curious ANECDOTE.-Mr. Coke, of Longford, in the connty of Derby, (brother to Mr. Coke, of Norfolk) is the father of several amiable and accomplished daughters. One of the tenants on his estate, a young farmer of superior address and atainments had, by the depression of the times, become in arrears for his rent; his landlord sent for him, and expostulated with him on the subject, and hinted to him, that with his handsome person he might easily obtain a wife among some of his richer neighbours, that would soon enable him to pay off his arrears, and place him in better cir cumstances in the world. The young farmer listened to the advice, looked thoughtful, and departed. In a few days he returned again, and told his landlord he had been reflecting seriously on their last conversation, and would follow his counsel. At this interview, was one of the daughters of his wealthy landlord. In a short time afterwards, it was discovered, that John Greensmith (the farmer's name) had effectually taken the hint, and by an elopement to Gretna-green, had become the dutiful son-in-law of the gentlemen who had thus, unwittingly, bestowed upon him this sage advice.-Birmingham Chron.
A DRINKING SONG,
had (By Lord Byron.)
ant to less Fill the goblet again ! for I never before Felt the glow that now gladdens my heart to its core ; it Let us drink!-Who would not ! since through life’s varied round In the goblet alone no deception is found. I have tried in its turn all that life can supply ; I have basked in the beam of a dark rolling eye ;
tholood 1 have loved !-Who has not ?—but what tongue will declare, That pleasure existed whilst passion was there! 1900 In the days of our youth-when the heart's in its spring storia Dreams that affection can never take wing,- era I had friends !-Who has not ?—but what tongue will avow That friends rosy wine, are so faithful as thou! seeg The breast of a mistress some boy may estrange ; Friendship shifts with the sun-beam ;—thou never cans't change; Thou grow'st old !-Who does not ?—but on earth what
appears, Whose virtues like thine but increase with their years. Yet if blest to the utmost that love can bestow, Should a rival bow down to our idol below; We are jealous !—Who's not ?-thou hast no such alloy, For the more that enjoy thee, the more they enjoy. Then the season of youth and its jollities past, For refuge we fly to the goblet at last; There we find-do we not ;--in the flow of the soul, That truth, as of yore, is confined to the bowl.