The Whigs' Disappointment on their Intended Feast.

Some hundreds more were to be at the Feast,
And all things thereunto were fitted,

But in steps an Order which forestall'd the Guests,
Disbanding the Cooks ere the Meat was half spitted.

Tag, Rag, and Long-tail were all to come in,
To sit at this King of Poland's table:
The Feast, I conceive, else was not worth a pin,
Without the consent of an insolent Rabble.

What pining, and fretting, and fuming was there,
When all the good Creatures were so laid aside;
"Twould make a Saint both to stamp and to stare,
To see such a zealous Assembly decry'd.
Here now the Nation was thus far fettled,

And all things brought to a much better cue;
Here a new Government was to be settled

And the De'il knows what beside they will do.

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40

Some think it was like the Oxford old stroke,

Which was well [put forth], being given in season;
And some think they are under a burthensom yoak,

Some hold it not prudently acted at all,

'Cause they may not Assemble for Sedition and Treason.

To check an Assembly of so great an intention,
Who study'd and aim'd at the Torys' downfall,

In raising the Whigs by a new invention.

Some say they were nettled, and gall'd within,
To see our great York embrac'd by the City:
If that be the cause on't, we care not a pin:

Let them hang up each other-and so ends my Ditty.

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60

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The tune chosen was singularly appropriate, being that of Ben Jonson's "Cook Laurell would needs have the Devil his guest; -from his Gipsies Metamorphosed, 1621 (Roxb. Coll., II. 445). Having already (on p. 81 of previous volume, IV.) given the first and second verses of the Tory Loyal-Song in ridicule of the projected Whig Feast at Haberdashers'-Hall on April 21st, 1682, we are unwilling to disappoint any readers who enjoy such pasquinades and had hoped to find the remainder here. On the other hand, suppose Strix Implumis grumble, and say that such stupendous Liberalism as the National Clubbists of two centuries ago ought to be protected by some litigious Chamberlain's ordinance from ever being laughed at, or black-balled with printer's ink; that Gehenna is a Caucusian Institution, and its representatives have vested rights among the Philistines: what are Editors to do? How can they satisfy both sides? Suppose they leave the impossibility unattempted, and conform to what the Scotch Lady called "the grand way of our forebears, when ilka bodie did what was richt in his ain een!" So here is the Loyal Song complete; in fair reprisal for the Whig attack on Danby, to the same tune.

The D-Loyal Feast.

TO THE TUNE OF, Sawney will never be my Love again. [See p. 141.]

Ony was small, but of Noble Race,

Tony

And was belov'd of ev'ry one;

He broach'd his Tap, and it ran apace

To make a solemn Treat for all the Town;
He sent to Yeoman, Knight, and Lord,
The holy Tribe to entertain,

With all the Nation cou'd afford:

But Tony will never be himself again.

He sent to the Shambles for all their store,
And left behind neither Fowl nor Beast;

The Spiggot ran swift, and fain would do more,
To make all the Lords a noble Feast:
He sent to Market, he sent to Fair,
His Loyal Guests to entertain!
But of the Banquet he had no share,
And Tony will never be himself again.
At two great Halls in London Town

Design'd to meet a Zealous Crew,
Of Lords and Knights of high Renown,
And all were Protestants True Blew!
They threw in Guineas free as Brass,

The noble Frolick to maintain;

8

16

[Hab. and Goldsm.

But on great Charles the Sham wou'd not pass:

And Tony will never be himself again.

With "Duty to their Lawful Prince,"
A "Loyal Subject ev'ry One!"

"To pray for him" is the pretence,

And then to rail and Plot against the Crown.
From Church they did intend to th' Hall,

Their Noble Guests to entertain;

But they were routed, Horse and all:
And Tony will never be himself again.

In favour of the King and the Duke,
The Heir-Apparent of the Throne,
His Highness they Exclude, and took
A Fop-Pretender of their own.
The meek Guide Moses they withstand,
A Golden Calf to entertain;
But Royal Charles dispers'd the Band,
And Tony will never be himself again.

[About 200.

[i.e. Monmouth.

40

The Dis-Loyal Feast Forbidden.

"The bloody Papists shall no more

Contrive against his Life and Reign!"—
Tho' 'twas themselves did the feat before,
and are as ready to do 't again.

Thus they Exclude the Rightful-Heir,
The Gaudy Fop to entertain;

149

[still Monmouth.

48

But they were met by the good Lord Mayor,
And Tony will never be himself again.

With thanks and "Pray'rs for our good King,"

they vow'd to sacrifice the day;

But Royal Charles he smoak'd out the thing,

and sent the Rabble with a xoд away:

He sent his summons to the Cit,

Seditious Meetings to restrain,

The Feast was broke, and the [Meat off the Spit],

And Tony will never be himself again.

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And now the Capons flye about,
With Frigacies of Ambergreece;
And Chickens, ready drest, they shout
about the street for Pence apiece!
The Whigs will wish the Council choak'd,
Who did this Noble Feast restrain;

All down in the Mouth, thus to be bauk'd,
Poor Tony will never be himself again.

FINIS.

London: Printed by Allan Banks, 1682.

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It is reprehensible, uncharitable, irreligious, anti-" National," unpatriotic, and illiberal, no doubt, to laugh at such an extremely Pious Family of Whigdom's Radical Reformers, nobility and uncommoners; who intended so lovingly to combine a nonconformist sermon with gluttony and wine-bibbing: beginning with a hymn, and ending under the table. What more could they do, in worship of their loquacious Dagon, unless they inaugurated a new GreenRibbon Club for him, and listened to his unreasonable eloquence? Nevertheless they were within a few hours of ignominious defeat, We endeavour to lament for them, with old Lafeu, and we melt:

"Mine eyes smell onions, I shall weep anon:

Good Tom Drum, lend me a handkercher!"

Funeral March played here, lugubriously, by the Orchestra.

The struggle for supremacy between Monmouth and York was now being transferred from the Court to the City, and in both

150

Poor 'Tony would never be himself again.

fields the young Claimant had wasted his great advantages. Politic observers interpreted the auguries against him, and cautiously withdrew themselves from his influence. A few months earlier, all the civic power seemed vested in the Whigs, under the guidance of Shaftesbury and George Villiers, second Duke of Buckingham. But Tony would never be himself again! Finding his schemes baulked in the prohibited feast, his authority set at naught by Hampden, Trenchard, Russell, Monmouth, and other conspirators, while plainly marked out for destruction by the Yorkists, Lord Shaftesbury was rapidly failing in health; also in that clear-sightedness and readiness of resource which had hitherto distinguished him pre-eminently.

When the Duke of Buckingham finally lost favour at the Court, he threw himself all the more desperately into Civic intrigues with the factious Whig Aldermen and Sheriffs. He had previously done his utmost to excite the jealousy of Charles, who was unwilling to detect the infidelities of Court Ladies, so long as it was possible to avoid observing them: Buckingham poached such game unblushingly. This practice made old Rowley puff, And turn his Grace in dudgeon off; Who, much disgusted, now sets up To be the Faction's only prop Hoping, as most believe, in vain, To please the blockheads, and regain By rich rebellious City slaves

What he had lost by Fools and Knaves.

-The Court Burlesqued.

We give the following Loyal Song on "The Duke's Return from Scotland," because the tune to which it was sung, known by the first line, "Now ye Tories that glory," is the same to which the Roxburghe Ballad of Iter Boreale was appointed to be sung. Matthew Taubman wrote the two earlier verses (and printed them, along with a third verse, which was suppressed when four fresh verses were added). Not improbably the whole of both versions came from the ready pen of this Civic Poet. It was not likely that any publisher would prefer to employ another hand to remodel Taubman's work, while he himself was quite ready to do whatever was required at a reasonable price, so to secure his own article for the ballad-market. Believing this, we give the three undoubted Mat Taubman verses (without omitting here the third); and the others in unchanged type: marking the point of separation by a short rule and our second note.

The

Well-Wishes to the Royal Family:

Dn the Duke's Return from Scotland, 1682.

TO A NEW PLAY HOUSE TUNE.

Ow ye Tories, that glory in Royal Jemmy's Return,

NOW

I' the tavern roar it and score it! your caps and bonnets burn! Let the Lads and the Lasses set foot to foot in their turn; And he that passes his Glasses may he never 'scape the Horn.1 Royal James is come again, there 's for honest men room again, The true Heir is come home again, Fop Pretenders we scorn. Then hey! Boys, laugh it and quaff it, let Whigs and Zealots mourn. Let Impeaches and Speeches be with the Authors pull'd down, And all that preaches or teaches against the Heir of the Crown! No more the Zealous shall tell us of th' Succession to the Throne, Till the rebellious old fellows his Lawful Interest own.

Monarchy is got up again! Ev'ry man take his Cup again! Till we make the Whigs stoop again, who our Peace wou'd inthral: And ev'ry Rebel that Libell'd, do at his foot-stool fall.

Then th' station o' th' Nation on terms more honest will be,

Nor bold Oration in fashion, to rail at Monarchy;

The City Royal be loyal, and common Justice agree

14

T' avenge lost heads on the Tryal of O[ate]s and S[haftes]b[ur]y. Then Dissenters shall aid the Throne, and Addressers perswade

the Throne,

'Gainst the Traitors invade the Throne: London Charter be free, And Ignoramus be famous for Truth and Loyalty."

Let's be Loyal and Joy-all, 'spight of each factious Cabal,
Who daily deny all, defie all, that we can Loyalty call;

21

Who, [while] smoaking and soaking, wish the Return of the Rump, Sadly looking, sit croaking, to see it worn to a Stump.

Then set the glass round again, for our time 's not spent in vain, But let us now drink amain, Fill it up to the Brim!

Come round, Boys, let 's trowl it and bowl it, till our joys they do swim.

This not only indicated the "Bull's Feather," of matrimonial-mishap, but (as shown on p. 445 of Vol. IV.) was a nickname for the Compter prison.

2 Thus far goes Matthew Taubman's earlier version, along with his Heroick Poem, 1682. The later reprinted Loyal Song omits the third verse, and continues instead, after the fourteenth line," at his footstool fall," the four following verses.