a judicious Christian would be thoroughly ashamed of. Men of this sort deserve to be characterized by strong and appropriate epithets."

Mrs. A.-"Well, there is something in that, to be sure."

Author.-"Yes, madam, and in the fear of that God who hates injustice, blended with superstition and folly, I will ever protest against the protestations of those whose caprice is so deeply injurious."

Mrs. A.-"But what can you say to that levity passage in your 'Punctuality,' about the young man who tore his silk stocking on board a London steamer? In spite of all my endeavours to keep serus, I busted into a laugh."

Author." That little incident is narrated simply to expose and chastise ridiculous vanity and affectation."

Mrs. A.-"Ah! but after all, I don't like it. I laughed, it is true, but my conscience condemned me for it, as I had just then lost my dear Fanny, and it would have more becomed me to ha' been readin Saint Augustus's meditations, or Thomas O'Kempus."

Author."The works you mention, madam, are very excellent, and well adapted to the Christian who suffers bereavement. I have read these works myself, and much enjoyed them. In a sorrowful state of mind, I sometimes recommend better books than my own, and it would have been better, on the whole, while determined to honour me with a perusal, had you fixed on my lecture on Paradise, instead

of the little work on Punctuality. But permit me to sympathize with you on the loss of a beloved daughter. Having lost children myself, I have felt acutely the pangs of bereavement; and I am free to tell you, that eccentric men, however humorous, can weep with those that weep, and enter into the most solemn meditations, quite as readily, and with as much religious effect, as other men."

Mrs. A.-"Do you say so? Well, I am astonished! I thought, from what Mr. Snivelton told me, you was always a laughing and joking."

Author." Mr. Snivelton, madam, told you a falsehood. I never laugh but when something is said or done to laugh at, which is both natural and innocent and the word joking, as applied to me, is too coarse, and at no time critically appropriate; and I am perfectly sure that I am often much more serious than the men who make their seriousness a kind of exhibition, and who would very preposterously put on the same look at a wedding as at a funeral. The mind passes through different moods or states, and is affected in different ways by different circumstances, events, and surrounding objects. Sometimes it wants recreation, and then an eccentric friend, or an innocently queer book, supplies the desideratum. At other times it needs serious admonition. Sometimes it is afflicted, then the Psalms of David, and Saint Paul's Epistles, are in request."

Mrs. A.-"Dear me, how you do filosopise. But you have not dwelt upon the state I was in when

I lost my Fanny.

Blessed as I am with a good

fortin, left me by my dear husband, yet I could not, after all, help greevin."

Author. "This, madam, is natural, and even commendable, for it is a fearful detriment to a Christian to be without natural affection.""

Mrs. A.-"That's just what I thinks; and I have no good opinion of people who has no affection for dumb animals."

Author.-[In surprise.] "Dumb animals, madam!" Mrs. A.-"Yes; I never had no children, so I kept a darlin little lap dog, and called her Fanny; and you would have been delighted to see how she answered to her name, jist like a Christian. She would jump on my shoulder, and salute me with the tenderest affection. Oh! my dear lost pet!" [Mrs. A. sheds tears.]

Author." Permit me to say, madam, that disposed as I am to pet the domestic animals, the death of one would never induce such an eccentric state of mind, as to make me reject a pleasant and cheerful book on its account. This would be morbid sensibility with a witness! I had supposed you had been lamenting the death of a child! Why did you not correct my error sooner?"

Mrs. A.-"Why, you see, I thought I would let you run on, as you had got into such a serus mood, but you know it now, and I still feel I was right in lamenting the death of the darlin pet, and wrong in reading your funny books, instead of Augustus [St. Augustine] and other pious breathins."

Author." Madam I am not at all sorry that you have so honestly spoken your mind about the books. It is good that an author should hear of himself from foes as well as friends. It is not likely that you will ever entirely relish my writings; though, by a reperusal, your former prejudices may somewhat abate. Nor is it, on the other hand, either necessary or desirable that I should come over to your opinions on modes of writing. You can go on with your meditations and devotions in commemoration of lap dogs, and you are at perfect liberty to protest against my publications, while I shall take that course in checking evil and doing good, which, so far as I can judge, is marked out to me, and let sound sense and the public judge between us. I have already the suffrages of not a few distinguished writers, and a host of well judging readers, so that I can afford to bear the censures of a minority."

Mrs. A.-" Well, after all, let us part friends. We all take different views of things, and from the combustion of opinions, they say, truth is struck out."

Author.-"Yes, madam, no harm can come from a calm expression of opposite opinions. Tastes differ, and on both sides of our controversy I hope good Christians are to be found. But these good Christians differ widely from censorious Pharisees." The one horse chaise comes to the door, and Mrs. Addlepate shakes hands, and bids farewell.

*Collision.

CHAPTER XVIII.

A WONDERFUL SCHEDULE.

In the management of important financial affairs in civil governments and in churches, it is often found necessary to construct schedules. These documents put questions and demand answers. And it is certainly very proper that from time to time the exact state of things in the religious world as well as in the body politic should be known, so that if any disastrous errors or evils exist they may be rectified without delay. Schedules, however, are not always filled up cleverly, partly because some of the questions are not clearly understood, and partly because, if understood, answers cannot be given. Yet these papers, with all the apparatus of lines, columns, and numerous headings, generally elicit much valuable information, and people should honestly endeavour to be as explicit and full in their answers as possible; for how can we correct errors, remedy evils, reform abuses, and put things to rights, without great and exact preparatory knowledge? And how shall we get this knowledge, without asking questions, and how can we clothe our questions with power and authority, so well as by putting them into a printed schedule? And granting that some questions, here and there cannot, for the present, be well answered,