65.

This diffinicion

of a man Aris

totle also in his Logike dooeth improue.

How Diogenes improued the diffinicion of a manne whiche Plato gaue.

66.

Notifiyng, that to be called a man, is a fitte name, but for a fewe.

This also goeth in a tale, albeit vneth beleuable. Plato had thus diffined a man: A man is a liue thyng with twoo feete, hauyng no fethers. And when the scholares of Plato hadde made signes and tokens of well allowyng thesame diffinicion, Diogenes brought forth into the schole, a cocke pulled naked oute of all his fethers, bothe great and small, saiyng: Loe, here is Plato his manne.

¶ Whereupon it was added to the diffinicion, hauyng brode nailles, for that no byrdes haue anie suche.

To one demaundyng at what houre best were, At what hower for a man to go to his diner: If he be rich it is beste for a (quoth Diogenes) when his pleasure is, if poore,

man to dyne.

toun in the

countree of

Attica, not

67.

when he maie.

Being at Megara, when he sawe the Rammes Megara was a goo with their wulle on their backes, vnshorne for takyng harme of the bitternesse of colde, and their young children go clene naked without any ferre from the clothes at all, he saied: It is muche better to be the Ram, then to be the sonne of a Megarian. ¶ It is writen of the Megarians, that thei wer wondreful recheles in nourishyng and kepyng vp their children.

citee of Athenes.

The Megarians were rechelesse

in keping their

children.

68.

It is ouerlate to to bid beware,

when the hurte

is doen alredy.

A feloe carriyng a long loggue in the streete, gaue Diogenes a good rappe with the one ende of it, for lack of takyng hede, and incontinente (as the guise is in suche case) saied: Beware: Why, (quoth Diogenes) doest thou entend to geue me an other rap yet? Other writers do thus tell it. When the feloe saied: Beware, Diogenes rapped his staffe on the pate of the other feloe, and after the stroke alreddie surelie sette on and past, sayd as thesame had don afore to him, Beware.

¶ Geuyng vnto thesame taunt pour taunte, or one for an other. For, beware, shoulde haue been saied before the harme doyng, and not after.

Diogenes on a time, bearynge in his hande a 69. lighted candle, walked vp & down the mercate stede, in a verie brighte and clere daie, like one that soughte a thynge lost. And diuerse persones askyng, what hee didde: Marie I seeke a manne (quoth he.)

¶ Notyng the publique maners of the cittee scace honest enough for anie persone, bearyng the name of

a manne.

When he had on a time been so souced with water, that he had neuer a drie thred about him, and stood droppyng on euerie syde and parte of his bodie, diuerse persones standyng about him (as commenly in suche case they will) toke muche pitie on the poore soule, as one that had been serued a verie vngodlie touche, and vsed or handled out of all good facion. To whiche persones, If ye bee willyng, saieth Plato, (for he also emong others was happelie at thesame time. presente) to take pitie and compassion vpon Diogenes, departe hens and gette you from him.

¶ Notyng in him beeyng a Philosophier, desirefulnesse of glorie. Forasmuche as therefore to be vnto the bystanders suche a wondreyng and gazyng stocke was to Diogenes great pleasure and delectacion: he was rather happie and fortunate, then to bee pitied, but if he had been wetted from top to toe, no man standyng by to see it, then had he been miserable in verie deede.

To one that gaue him a good cuffe on the eare, In good south (quoth he) I had no such knowledge ne warnyng to goe with a salette on my

hedde.

And

A man is a

rare thyng to bee founde,

though he be sought with a

candle.

70.

Priue ambition

and desire of glorie in Dio

genes.

71.

The pacience

& moderation

of Diogenes.

the eare.

72.

The penaltee

or forfaicte, for geuing a blow in the old time

¶ And that was all that euer he did to be auenged on the partie that had striken him.

But he didde not with sembleable pacience Howe Diogenes forbeare one Midias, who after a good whisterrequited one Midias geuing snefet, truelie paied on his eare, had saied: There him a blow on bee three thousand brasse pens now readie assigned and laied out for thee in the eschequier: in the waie of mockage, biddyng much good do it him, for that he was assured to recouer of Midias so muche money for a forfaicte, if hee would take the law for the blowe geuing, But Diogenes the nexte daye followyng tooke a brode. thongue, suche as the champions vsed of neates leather, set with studdes and bosses, and thesame well fauouredlie bestowed about the ribbes and pate of Midias, he saied euen in the verye same wise, as the other had dooen afore to him: There be three thousande brasse pens nowe readie assigned and laied oute for thee in the eschequier.

at Athenes.

Aulus Gelius, telleth of a feloe which had a good sport to geue men buffettes with his hande, and immediatelie after, woulde commaunde to be tolde oute in readie monye the summe of the forfaicte, oute of a purse, whiche he had continuallie carried about with him for that purpose. But Diogenes plainlie declared, not al men to be of that pacience, that they can be satisfied, and holde theim contented with the penaltee of the sette forfaicte.

73. The Philosophiers had in this behalf, a verie Howe Diogenes euill name abrode, that either thei beleued not aunswered Lysias, demaund- any goddes to bee, or els thei did contemne theing whether he same. This thing Lysias half signifiyng, asked beleued any goddes to be. Diogenes, whether he beleued that there were any Goddes. To whome Diogenes aunswered: Howe may it stande with reason that I shoulde not beleue, yes; sens I am fully persuaded that

thyselfe

thyselfe arte a feloe of the Goddes abandoned Lysias was an and accursed?

oratour in Athenes, whome

for his exceeding swetenes Quintilian

This saiynge some writers doen attribute to Theodorus. He made none aunswere to the question, but reuersed the woordes to the parties selfe, that praiseth. had in the waie of despite put the question to him.

Howe Diogenes

eluded a feloe sprincling water vpon hym selfe for pourging his sinne.

Espiyng a feloe for the obseruaunce of religion, 74. washyng himself with riuer water, (for by this rite did men of olde time vse to purifie and clense theimselfes, if thei beleued any offence on their partie against the Goddes to haue been committed) Miserable creature, saied Diogenes, when thou hast erred in any pointe of grammer, thou art not assoyled by castyng water vpon thyselfe: then muche lesse shall sembleable sprincleyng of water ridde or deliuer thee from synfulnesse of liuyng.

¶ He did verie well note the supersticion of folkes, in that they beleued the spottes and stainyng of the soule to be pourged and scoured awaie, with the sensible, grosse or carnall elemente of bodilie water, except they had also cut awaie the inordinate lustes and desires of the herte.

The supersti

cion of folkes

in old time.

75. Diogenes re

buked those persones, who

when their

matters went

He did wonderous highly rebuke those persones, who, if any of their maters framed not, but wente a wrie, would blame and wyte fortune therfore (as in deede the moste parte of men vsen blamed fortune to doe, and Diogenes auouched the parties selfes muche more worthie to be shent, whose guise and awry. facion was, with all earnest requeste and instaunce to craue at the handes of ladie fortune, not suche thyngs as in very deede were substanciall good, but such as in their owne phansie and opinion seemed good.

¶ For if men would permit or leaue to the arbitrement, wille and pleasure of the Goddes, to sende suche 8

thynges,

If God might be let alone, he

man that were best for him.

would sende to thynges, as thesame dooe iudge to be best and moste expediente, they woulde sende it. Now, forasmuche as men receiuen accordyng to their own most eagre and importune suites, thei doen like feloes hauynge no shame in theim, to laie vnto the Goddes the fault of quaillyng and misprouyng.

76.

The supersticion of many folkes about their dreames

77.

The bondseruantes of glory.

The Philosophier only hath victorie of men.

Macedonians, & father of Alexander the great.

The supersticion of suche persones as would be fraid with dreames, in this maner did he deride and skorne, What things ye doe while ye are awakyng, saieth he, that care ye not for, and what thynges ye dreame while ye are slepyng, ye doe carefully searche out.

For to the felicitee, or miserie of a manne, it maketh not so greate force, what cometh to thesame in his slepe, as what he doth awakyng, while one is awakyng, if he perpetrate any vnhonest or sinfull act, it wer requisite to feare the wrathe of God, and the wofull ende to ensue thereof, and not if menne see this or that, in their slepe.

At the Olympia, the crier thus proclamyng, Doxippus hath wonne the maisterie of menne, Diogenes corrected him, sayng: No Doxippus of slaues or vilaines, and I of men.

¶ Signifiynge, theim that proued maisteries at the saied Olympia and other like games, not to bee men, but bondeseruauntes of glorie, onely the Philosophier & none els hath the ouerhande of men like vnto this, is one other of his saiyngs aboue mencioned.

78. When Philippus had an armie in the contree This Philippus of Cherronea, ther to make warre, thither came was king of the Diogenes, and beyng taken by the souldiours, he was brought vnto the kyng, who, when he sawe Diogenes a persone vnknowen, cried out in a great furie, A spye, a spye. To whome Diogenes replied, saiyng: Yea, euen a verie spye in deede. For hither am I come to vieue the brainsiknesse

of