Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time"A beautiful and brilliant reexamination of love and its perils."—Barbara Fisher, Boston Globe Common wisdom has it that love is fragile, but leading psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell argues that romance doesn't actually diminish in long-term relationships—it becomes increasingly dangerous. What we regard as the transience of love is really risk management. Mitchell shows that love can endure, if only we become aware of our self-destructive efforts to protect ourselves from its risks. "Those who read this book will love more wisely because of it."—Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon "[A] work on romance that is rich and multi-layered."—Publishers Weekly "Cheerful, open, and humane—you'd definitely have wanted him as your analyst."—Judith Shulevitz, The New York Times Book Review "[T]houghtful, compassionate, and profoundly optimistic."—JoAnn Gutin, Salon.com |
From inside the book
Page 7
... complex topic developed slowly , an outgrowth of my clinical work and writing as well as of the wis- dom gained in the context of important relationships that have been a part of my professional and personal experience . I owe a great ...
... complex topic developed slowly , an outgrowth of my clinical work and writing as well as of the wis- dom gained in the context of important relationships that have been a part of my professional and personal experience . I owe a great ...
Page 16
... complex fabric , utiliz- ing every fiber , every thread of thought . " While Stephen certainly wanted to be respected as a thinker in his own right , he was not that interested in getting his students to agree with his particular think ...
... complex fabric , utiliz- ing every fiber , every thread of thought . " While Stephen certainly wanted to be respected as a thinker in his own right , he was not that interested in getting his students to agree with his particular think ...
Page 23
... complex , less simplistic terms than did our ancestors . And , for many nonreligious thinkers , a deeper relationship to nature and to life itself has emerged , across the varieties of environmentalism , as a contemporary secular ...
... complex , less simplistic terms than did our ancestors . And , for many nonreligious thinkers , a deeper relationship to nature and to life itself has emerged , across the varieties of environmentalism , as a contemporary secular ...
Page 24
... complex than we ever took ourselves to be . We can no longer maintain our prerogatives as rulers over the small fiefdom of conscious rationality ; gone forever is the view of ourselves as singular , transparent , self - generating , and ...
... complex than we ever took ourselves to be . We can no longer maintain our prerogatives as rulers over the small fiefdom of conscious rationality ; gone forever is the view of ourselves as singular , transparent , self - generating , and ...
Page 34
... complex that was such a powerful motif for the Victorian gentlemen of Freud's day . Now it is often presented in terms not of the saintly Madonna versus the degenerate whore but of proper , more respectable women versus women who give ...
... complex that was such a powerful motif for the Victorian gentlemen of Freud's day . Now it is often presented in terms not of the saintly Madonna versus the degenerate whore but of proper , more respectable women versus women who give ...
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adult adventure aggression animal arousal became become bonobo central childhood commitment complex constructed contemporary culture dangerous degradation dependency ego psychology emerges emotional erotic excitement exploring fantasy feel felt Frans de Waal Fred Freud fundamental Hans Loewald Harold hate Heinz Kohut human experience human sexuality idealization illusion illusory imagination important inevitably infantile intense interpersonal intimacy Jake Jake's kind less lives love and desire lover M. C. Escher marriage mind motives narcissism nature object of desire oedipal omnipotent one's oneself ourselves pain parents partner pathos and guilt perpetually person perspective pity pleasure pornography powerful predictable psychic psychoanalysis psychology reality regarded rela relation Relational Psychoanalysis relationships requires response rience romance romantic love romantic passion seemed self-pity sense sexual social someone Stanley Crouch strange loop struggle surrender things tion traditional unconscious understand University Press vulnerability wife woman women York zipless fuck