Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time"A beautiful and brilliant reexamination of love and its perils."—Barbara Fisher, Boston Globe Common wisdom has it that love is fragile, but leading psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell argues that romance doesn't actually diminish in long-term relationships—it becomes increasingly dangerous. What we regard as the transience of love is really risk management. Mitchell shows that love can endure, if only we become aware of our self-destructive efforts to protect ourselves from its risks. "Those who read this book will love more wisely because of it."—Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon "[A] work on romance that is rich and multi-layered."—Publishers Weekly "Cheerful, open, and humane—you'd definitely have wanted him as your analyst."—Judith Shulevitz, The New York Times Book Review "[T]houghtful, compassionate, and profoundly optimistic."—JoAnn Gutin, Salon.com |
From inside the book
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Page 9
... Sexuality 58 3. Idealization , Fantasy , and Illusions 93 4. Aggression and the Danger of Desire 119 5. Guilt and Self - Pity 145 6. Control and Commitment in Romantic Love 172 Notes 202 Index 217 Foreword Margaret Black , C.S.W. OUR ...
... Sexuality 58 3. Idealization , Fantasy , and Illusions 93 4. Aggression and the Danger of Desire 119 5. Guilt and Self - Pity 145 6. Control and Commitment in Romantic Love 172 Notes 202 Index 217 Foreword Margaret Black , C.S.W. OUR ...
Page 12
... sexual passion and enduring love have separate deriva- tions , one primitive , one civilized , locking them in an inversely pro- portional relationship . A passionate sexual relationship with one's partner bodes poorly for tenderness ...
... sexual passion and enduring love have separate deriva- tions , one primitive , one civilized , locking them in an inversely pro- portional relationship . A passionate sexual relationship with one's partner bodes poorly for tenderness ...
Page 14
... sexual and aggressive strivings and symptom removal but on issues like the quality of life , the meaningfulness of personal experience , one's sense of self and a connectedness with others . In a culture where the analyst's knowledge ...
... sexual and aggressive strivings and symptom removal but on issues like the quality of life , the meaningfulness of personal experience , one's sense of self and a connectedness with others . In a culture where the analyst's knowledge ...
Page 27
... sexual diversion , predictable companion- ship , or hatred , guilt , and self - pity . What is it about romance that makes it so degradable ? Most peo- ple , and most psychological experts , have opinions . Here are some of the most ...
... sexual diversion , predictable companion- ship , or hatred , guilt , and self - pity . What is it about romance that makes it so degradable ? Most peo- ple , and most psychological experts , have opinions . Here are some of the most ...
Page 32
... sexual encounter , reappeared in his life . Linda was a kind of music groupie , had metal studs in her tongue and clitoris , and beckoned him with the promise of sexual adventure . They went to bed . In our sessions , a closer look at ...
... sexual encounter , reappeared in his life . Linda was a kind of music groupie , had metal studs in her tongue and clitoris , and beckoned him with the promise of sexual adventure . They went to bed . In our sessions , a closer look at ...
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adult adventure aggression animal arousal became become bonobo central childhood commitment complex constructed contemporary culture dangerous degradation dependency ego psychology emerges emotional erotic excitement exploring fantasy feel felt Frans de Waal Fred Freud fundamental Hans Loewald Harold hate Heinz Kohut human experience human sexuality idealization illusion illusory imagination important inevitably infantile intense interpersonal intimacy Jake Jake's kind less lives love and desire lover M. C. Escher marriage mind motives narcissism nature object of desire oedipal omnipotent one's oneself ourselves pain parents partner pathos and guilt perpetually person perspective pity pleasure pornography powerful predictable psychic psychoanalysis psychology reality regarded rela relation Relational Psychoanalysis relationships requires response rience romance romantic love romantic passion seemed self-pity sense sexual social someone Stanley Crouch strange loop struggle surrender things tion traditional unconscious understand University Press vulnerability wife woman women York zipless fuck